SUP Y"ALL! I have a boat (I shall refer to myself as IHAB from here on out), my name, me, I (you get the picture) am deeeelighted to have you, the reader (who ever the heck you are) accompany me in this story of romance, tradegy, overpowering evil, fluff, a little bit of yaoi (actually... A little bit more than a little), friendship, family, horror, torture, instestines (this is becoming less and less appealing, sort of like the Twilight saga) fight scenes. Even though these chapters can be long (watch out for number four), I can promise you that they will be worth the read. If you have any ideas about characters or plot twists I should incorporate in my story, please suggest in review format. But enough of me sporatic rambling, on to the action!
left paraenthesis Also... Review :) right paraenthesis period
Chapter 1
Be here by 9:30, sharp; or else this knife is going straight up that tight little ass of yours.
The boss had yelled that at her earlier today over the pay phone outside of Rob's Drive and Dime fast food restaurant. It was a threat to be taken seriously, because she had seen it in action (poor Saria). Just remembering that conversation made her so nervous she wanted to get a light out of her black, leather purse; but she knew better. She would have to stop running, take the damn thing out, and then light it with her Zippo, then… It would just take too much time.
It was 9:20; four hours ago she had gotten her instructions to come to the 'home'. It was hardly a home to her, being surrounded by large, frightening men with bad tempers. She didn't even want to consider what awaited her there.
"You know what, screw it. I don't think he'll kill me for being thirty seconds late." She declared, unzipping her purse to pull out a full pack of cigarettes and her Zippo.
She placed one of the luxuries in her mouth and raised her treasured lighter to her cigarette. She was about to flick trigger when she heard a familiar voice from behind her and spun to put a face with the voice.
"Wow, Peach, you really let yourself go; didn't you?" Samus smirked, leaning casually against the grimy brick wall of the alley way.
The shadows aged the 24 year old, morphing her to look 40 years older. Samus's tight blueshirt was stained with a rainbow of alcoholic beverages. Her tight blue jean shorts and black skateboarding shoes were worn and in the shoe's case, falling apart. Her blonde hair was tied into a pathetic bun, as opposed to the long and flowing ponytail that she had before they lost the final battle.
"Samus, it's been a long time since I last saw you. What brings you to my neck of the woods?" Princess Peach chuckled, tucking her cigarettes back into her black purse.
"I just thought I would check up on my old friend over a drink at my bar. After all, it's been three years since Ma-"
"Don't mention his name." Peach snapped, her tone suggesting that she was already on edge. Samus stepped back and held her hands at eye level, containing a smirk.
"Fine, I won't bring him up, it's obviously a touchy subject for you." Samus retracted, "Still, how's about that drink? You, and your outfit, look like you need it." Samus offered grinning, hands on her hips fully facing Peach.
Peach, who was twenty five, had her hair tied in a high ponytail. She wore a strapless, leather, hot pink article of clothing that was too tight and too short to be a dress; hot pink fishnets for adorned her hands and long legs as gloves and tights. Her five inch stilettos with a hot pink body and a silver heel were uncomfortable just to look at. Her blue eye shadow and hot pink lipstick were as thick as cake icing. The infamous Princess Toadstool looked like a Barbie that belonged to a perverted three year old boy.
"Well… How's about it?" Samus egged on, leaning against the alley way wall.
Peach pulled her cell phone out of her purse to look at the clock. The time was 9:25 now; she had only five minutes to reach the home. Panic flooded through the Princess as she struggled to stuff her phone into its rightful place in the cheap purse. She took off at a stiletto heeled sprint down the cobble stone alleyway.
"Samus, tomorrow at 8:00," She called over her shoulder, "I'll meet you at your place!" And with that note, she made a sharp turn left towards the 'home'.
Peach- (Super Mario Brothers)
Samus- (Metroid)
"Link! Where do you want to put these?" A very swollen Zelda called from the unborn baby's room, her arms wrapped around a large, cardboard box brimming with blankets and stuffed animals.
"Umm… Just put them in the corner by the door." The Hero of Time called from the other end of the apartment. "You don't have to help out, you know."
"I want to," Zelda retorted as she plopped the box onto the floor and waddled into the dining/ living/ office room, "it's my apartment too. Besides, I detest the idea of you having to carry our stuff up and down all those stairs."
"Zel, it's only two flights of stairs, we're not the unfortunate couple that has to walk up five or six flights. Besides, we got the majority of our things up the stairs already." Link responded patiently, his warm voice muffled from behind the television.
Zelda sighed as she snatched a massive package of diapers; tossing them into her future child's room. Her swollen seventh and a half month tummy was emphasized by her plum scoop neck tee shirt and white maternity jeans; her dirty blond hair was held back in a long side braid and a yellow headband.
Zelda sighed again, lost in thought. It was pathetic to think that Hyrule royalty were living like stray dogs in a tiny, rundown apartment she and Link could barely afford. She still remembered the day her husband and country were snatched from her.
It had been about two years after the final battle. She had been married to Link for only three months when they were ambushed by the neighboring Kingdom of Mushroom. Both Link and Zelda had fought their very best, but in vain though. Zelda, who had been greatly injured by the second king's sword, was escorted out of the battle and was saved from the dungeons of the Mushroom Kingdom. Link stayed, but was taken prisoner after a heated battle with Lord Ganondorf. Hyrule, soon after Link's imprisonment, was conquered and was now under Ganondorf's rule. Link, after swearing revenge, soon escaped the dungeon and went searching for Zelda.
Five months later, they found each other in the Ridley bar, much to both of their relief. After many long weeks of hardships and constant debt, Link found a low paying job at the Delphino Pier as a harbor hand. Soon after, Zelda became pregnant with Link's child. And here they were, living in a four room apartment in the poorest and most dangerous district of the capital.
"Hey, Zelda, I left a box of curtains outside the apartment. Can you grab it?" Link asked, grabbing a wrench out of his red tool box that lay discombobulated next to the television.
"Sure, Link."
Zelda meandered back into the building's second story hallway and grabbed a tall, thin box of curtains that were intended for their tiny kitchen. Just as she was about to lift the monstrosity, she felt a light thump in her abdomen. She giggled and placed her hand over her large stomach.
"Link, come here." Zelda said as she walked back into their apartment. Link turned his head to look at his young wife of 23.
"What is it babe?" Link asked looking away from the now installed television.
"Just come here and feel this." She beckoned, smiling warmly into her husband's clear, blue eyes.
Link brushed the dust off his oak colored corduroys and olive V-neck and walked over to her. Zelda took hold of Link's rough hand and very slowly and carefully, placed it on her tummy. There was a still moment in the apartment.
"Zel, I don't feel anythi- oh!"
Link dropped to one knee and pressed his long ear to the Zelda's bulge, grinning widely. After another moment, Link felt a strong *thump* against his temple (AN: tee hee hee, get it? temple?)
He leaned into her purple clothed stomach "Zel," He whispered as he closed his eyes, "That's our boy, isn't it? That thumping is our boy, right?"
Zelda nodded and kneeled down so she was face to face with Link. She pressed her heart shaped face into his broad shoulder, smiling at the idea of her soon to be family.
"And… I'm gonna be a dad, aren't I Zelda?" Link asked, his golden bangs draping over his sparkling eyes as he looked sheepishly down at the floor.
"Yeah, I guess so honey." Zelda whispered, worming her way onto Link's lap. He embraced her with his strong, large hands that had been formed from back when he was indeed the hero of all Hyrule.
There was pause between the contented two.
"Will I be a good Daddy, Zelda?" Link asked as he gazed into Zelda's dark blue eyes, hoping for a positive answer.
Zelda removed her head from his shoulder and smiled gently, kissing Link tenderly upon the lips. "I know that you will, my dear. You'll be an amazing father. I know that you won't fail us." With that, she returned her head to the crook of Link's neck, smiling.
He smiled and placed his free hand on Zelda's plum bump, anxious for his child to arrive.
'I failed Zelda once during the last battle, I won't do it again.' He thought as his smile melted into the epitome determination.
Link-(Legend of Zelda)
Zelda-(The Legend of Zelda)
Ridley- (Metroid)
Delphino Pier- (Super Mario Brothers)
A sleek, black Mach bike zoomed along the narrow, weaving highway over looking the oily Delfino Bay. Massive ships of war and cargo billowed black smoke from brown smoke stacks into the putrid air. The sky was turning a sick green as the capital city became a hazy speck in the distance. It was going to rain soon and they needed to find shelter, as the rain was highly acidic. Unfortunately, his motorbike couldn't provide that much needed shelter.
He peeled is eyes from the road to look at his girlfriend who was clinging to his rock hard abdomen. Her long, green hair whipped around her delicate face. It was obvious that she was uneasy by the speed her boyfriend drove at. She wore the orange and gold sports jacket that had been given to her by him. Black skinny jeans and stiletto ankle boots accompanied her jacket, making her look nothing less than a model. The only thing that betrayed her beauty at the back of the motor cycle was her greening face; for Elincia was feeling slightly ill. Her emerald i-pod nano blasted Again by Yui in an attempt to distract her from the swerving ground below her.
"How ya doin' back there?" Ike called over the roar of the fish smelling wind.
"What? You say something?" Elincia yelled back, tilting her head up to see his bluenette, spiky hair and dark grey head band (AN: What is that head scarf thingy?) swirling rigorously in the wind.
"How ya doin' back there?"
"What? Ike, I can't hear you."
"I said, How ya- ah, forget it." Ike looked back to the road and sighed. He glanced at the sky, beginning wish he had a car as thunder echoed once again throughout the forest hills. It was going to hurt like a bitch if they got caught in this storm. The rain would burn clear through their clothes and singe their skin.
'This is nuts, you can smell the capital from here; and we have to be at least fifteen kilometers away.' Ike thought bitterly as he made a sharp left turn with the road, barely missing a cement divider.
"Ike," Elincia yelled, gripping his rusty colored sweatshirt tighter, "Up there."
Ike slowed the bike down and sure enough, there stood a couple of ogre's blocking his path only fifty feet away. There were two of them, both the color of infected pimples and armed with spiked clubs. Ike irked the bike to a sudden stop.
"Idiot," She snapped at him, letting go of him and crossing her arms, "are you trying to kill me?"
Ike merely chuckled at his girlfriend and kissed her on the cheek.
"Wait for me Elincia, I'll be right back." Ike told his girlfriend in his baritone voice as he unsheathed Ragnell, the blessed golden sword, from his back.
Ike rested his sword on one of his broad shoulders and strode confidently to the ogres.
"Well, well, well…?" The fat ogre leaned over Ike smugly, exposing all three of his rotting teeth, "If it isn't the infamous Ike. Shouldn't you be driving the other way?"
'He must be the dominate one of the two.' Ike scrunched his nose at the ogre's repulsive breath and gripped his sword hilt tighter.
"Yeah, yeah, go back the other way. Why don't you go home to mommy, Right boss?" The second, jumpy ogre spat rapidly, his bulging yellow eyes darting back and forth between the hero and his morbidly obese leader.
The leader nodded in approval. "Sure, let's go with that, Jakf."
Ike raised his long sword blade to the neck of the leader, narrowing his eyes as annoyance began to bubble in his stomach. "I have somewhere I need to be and it's going to rain pretty soon. And the consequences of staying outside in the rain can be deadly for all of us." He spoke coldly, narrowing his eyes.
The leader conjured as he recovered from the unpleasant surprise of having a large blade pointed at his throat, "That's why we intend to wrap things up quickly."
Beads of sweat streamed down his face as he gripped the impressive blade with his frying pan sized hand, in an attempt to move the sword blade away from his blubbery neck.
The leader smiled as the blade moved, "Get 'im."
It seemed like only a moment after the leader had spoken those words Ike's blade instantly dropped to the ogre's beefy mid thigh and sliced it off like it had been butter. The ogre roared in pain as his hands flew to the remainder, attempting to hold the bone stub and exploding veins. He dropped to the side of the highway, a river of ink colored blood gushing from the wound. His associate, Jakf, was momentarily stunned by the gruesome sight, but recovered quickly and raised his spike club over his head, clumsily swinging at Ike.
Concrete erupted from the impact of the club as Ike rolled to the side, missing the blow by only hairs. 'That was a close call,' Ike thought, relieved that he had moved just in the nick of time.
Instantly gathering his wits, Ike leapt high into the air and landed on the monster's shoulders. Jakf screamed in terror and rage, but for moments only, as Ike inserted his golden blade through the top of the skinny ogre's cranium into his body. The monster's bulging eyes glazed over and Ike slid the blade out of the ogre's corpse, dripping black liquid and chunks.
The stoic slayer hopped casually from the shoulders of Jakf, who promptly *gathumped* onto his back across the left lane of the highway; Blood and brain streaming from the top of its misshapen head.
'I'm out of practice.' Ike thought as he cleaned the blade on the ground, no trace pride as he did so. After he was done, Ike walked casually over to the wailing ogre. He loomed over the fat hellion, his shadow dramatically casting over the its ugly mug. The ogre's face caked with sweat, dirt, and tears of unbearable pain as it marinated in its own blood.
"Please," The ogre muffled a desperate plead to his enemy, his face to the ground, "Kill me now. I can't stand the pain. Kill me now."
Ike squatted until he was only inches from the ogre's fat ear. "I will kill you, after you tell me something."
"What? Ask me anything you want! Just kill me." The ogre's beady eyes widened as he screamed in torment.
"Who sent you to murder me?"
There was a long pause of silence between the monster and the man as the ogre struggled to form words.
"The Kings," The monster whispered as unconsciousness ate at him, "the Kings sent us."
Mach bike- (Mario Kart)
Elincia- (Fire Emblem)
Ike- (Fire Emblem)
The Ogres- (virtually any stereotypical fantasy videogame)
Again by Yui- (the 1st theme song of Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood *girlish fangirl squeal and shouts of affection for the Elric Brothers*)