Cause in this dark she shines a light
I'm wondering if she can feel me here tonight
Cause in her eyes I find my satellites
Satellites – Zero 1 (AKA: The Hal Sparks Band)
xxx
BK.
I don't know why, and I don't even want to ask, but, it seems, things have gotten worse since I returned from church camp. Not only did my dad get drunk a lot more, not only did he beat me a lot more, and not only did he hate me a lot more - my mother seemed to expect more of me with the whole Christian thing. I guess you can say I sorely disappointed her when I told her, flat out, that I didn't believe in God. That I thought God was a figment of everyone's imagination. Someone people made up so that they could feel better when they made a mistake or something, knowing that someone was up there to forgive them for every little thing - so they wouldn't feel too guilty about it. What a load of bullshit.
Not only was she upset, she had gotten my very drunk father upset, which made him unleash his upset feelings on me. To punish me for making my mother upset, he beat me. Big surprise there. Except it lasted everyday for a week and it's only been a week since camp ended. Even though I don't believe in God and think He's bullshit, I pray that my dad will get tired and bored of banging me around because, the bruises and wounds that had been healing, steadily and slowly at camp, were now replaced with new, fresh wounds. I look like beat up shit all over again and as I stare up at my ceiling, midnight, I wish Justin was here now giving me some of that lip therapy.
But I can't call him - I can't go over to his house - I can't make him upset.
If he sees me like this...he'll flip.
I hear heavy footsteps stomping down the hall and I change my mind. In a record of time I grab Justin's address and phone number, slide out of my window, which is thankfully on the first floor because I don't think my battered body can take jumping from the second story window seeing as it hurts to even walk, and hurry off my yard and blend in with the black shadows as quickly as I can. The last thing I hear is my father yelling at me from the window to get my ass back in the damn house. Yeah, how 'bout fuck no? I'm not that stupid. I walk all the way to the deserted church, streetlamps my only light, and look down at the scrap of paper that Justin had given me a week ago, his concerned self staring up at me and asking me bright as day to please not go back home and come home with him.
I don't know why I didn't.
I don't know why I haven't called him either. I tell myself it's because I don't want my dad to overhear or Claire to pick up the other phone and listen in on our conversations because if anyone found out that I was in a relationship with another guy they'd kill me. I'm not exaggerating but that's not it. I guess I haven't called him because I know if I called him and heard his voice I wouldn't be able to have enough and that I'd need him, like, right then and when I'd realize that I couldn't have him right then I'd be disappointed. So, I couldn't risk hearing his voice, his beautiful, caring voice. Yeah, and I'm going to stop being a lesbian right now. Shit - I think my dick's turning into a pussy.
After inspecting the directions, I step away from the streetlamp and leave the church behind me and head towards the direction that the scrap of paper tells me in Justin's neat scrawl. An hour later I'm finally there, staring at a huge, two story home. All the lights are out and that's understandable considering that it's one in the morning. Sighing, I walk around the perimeter wondering which room is Justin's. I look down at the paper and wonder if he knew I would ever come late in the middle of the night just incase my dad got out of control 'cause in the corner of the paper: 'Climb the terrace.' Smiling slightly, I walk around the house until I'm staring at the white picket fence crawling up towards the closed window at the second story.
This is going to be hard - normally, it wouldn't be but I'm especially sore today.
Groaning, I stuff the paper in my pocket and begin climbing, slowly so I don't fall and hurt myself even more. It doesn't take very long to make it to the top, about a minute since I'm going extra slow, and when I reach the window I peer inside. It's dark, the moonlight the only thing allowing me to see into his room at all. I see a lump on the bed, which I'm guessing is his body and I knock lightly on the window hoping that he'll hear it so I don't have to hang out up here for a long time. He doesn't move and I knock slightly harder. He nearly falls off the bed this time. He practically jumped out of his skin.
Suddenly his form is rolling off the bed and wide eyes are meeting mine through the glass. I grin and risk letting one of my hands let go of the windowsill and wave at him. He immediately grins and comes towards the window, already shirtless, lucky for me, and hurrying to unlock and slide up the window. "What are you-" I cut him off by crushing his mouth under mine while half-way inside his room and still half-way outside. I pull away to only get myself fully inside his room and then I'm pulling him against me again and then down on the bed, me on top of him, getting some much needed spit swapping from Justin. I should never go a week without kissing him again because I didn't know how much I was missing until I was here.
I wince when one of his hands grip too hard to my side and I would have been stupid to think that he had missed it. Justin never misses a thing. "Are you alright?" He doesn't even let me answer before his slim legs are wrapping around my waist and flipping me over onto my back, hands on my shoulders, and his body now straddling mine. "Just a little sore, that's all." I reach up and try to bring his mouth back to mine but he doesn't have any of it. He won't let this go - not until he worries, maybe tears up about it, and complains about my safety and, honestly, I don't exactly mind the whole act of concern. "More than a little." I don't answer him because we both know that he's right - as usual. Biting his bottom lip in that worrisome way that he does, he tells me to sit up for a second so he can lift my shirt up over my head. Then he's off of me and turning on the lamp next to his bed so he can see the damage. It's probably worst than he's ever seen it before.
It is - I can tell by the look on his face.
"All this in a fucking week? And you think you can last a year?"
"Justin, I'll be fine."
"You aren't fine."
I sit up and watch as he crosses his arms over his chest. He's right, I'm not. "Why do you think I came here, Sunshine?" He's back in front of me with his hands on my shoulders and his body standing in between my legs. "Because you want my ass." I smile up at him and, at the mention of his ass, I grab his and pull him closer to me so that my erection is obviously pressing up against his leg. "Well, yeah, that too." He smiles mischievously, worried mood gone; I know it'll be back none too soon. "My parents aren't home. They're out of town for a few days." I can see why he thinks, knows, that this is good news. It's good news, indeed.
"That's always good to hear."
I reach up to kiss him but he stops me, hand coming over my mouth.
"Can you stay here then? Please?"
"I'd love to, Sunshine."
xxx
JT.
I hadn't known what to think when, a week later, Brian still hadn't visited me, much less, called me. My head, of course, turned this into something more horrible than it was. Like he had decided to forget all about me. That, maybe, I was his camp adventure or something like that. His "camp trick." Sure, I had contemplated on calling him a million times. I could, probably, find it in the church directory. But I had decided against it and not just because we hadn't gone to church that Sunday. I just...hadn't. My thinking had been: if he had decided to forget all about me than he probably wouldn't want me to call him. I know I'm stupid for thinking like that - I know I was more than a boytoy for camp.
That just hadn't registered. I had been too busy worrying. So, when Brian finally showed up, even if it was at one in the morning, I don't think I could have expressed how insanely, fucking happy I was. I don't think I could express how insanely, fucking mad I was either when I saw him again and what his father enjoyed doing to him. It looks worse than it had at camp. There are a lot more scratches and bruises than there were when I saw him shirtless for the first time. Words probably can't express how worriedangryannoyedirritatedsad I am right now but, I do have to let things drop, so I do.
"I'd love to, Sunshine."
This time I let him kiss me. His tongue wastes no time in sliding into my mouth and kissing me like the fucking pro that he is. I know I don't have anything to compare him to but, fuck, I know he's the best kisser out there, that's for sure. He removes his hands from my ass and pulls my pants down by the waistband and I kick them away, the cold air that had surrounded my cock quickly being re-warmed by Brian's eager hand. I want more than his fucking hand and he knows it. But I settle with it because, even though I'm worried sick about him twenty-four seven, I'm still extremely happy. He's staying here tonight. We can actually stay in the same bed for once. We can actually stay side by side for a whole night and not be caught.
I craw back onto his lap after getting his own pants off and after he gets settled onto my bed, his head resting on the pillows and my mouth exploring the body that it has grown to know and love and miss for a whole fucking week. I don't know how I even lasted a whole week without him, honestly. I kiss along his wounds until he's yelling at me to stop because he needs more and I do stop but only because him yelling at me makes me need more too. He makes a move to get up. Probably to flip me over on my back so he can give me another fuck of my life but I place a hand on his chest and keep him where he is.
"You just need to relax."
I reach over to my nightstand, still seated on his lap, and grab a condom and lube out of the drawer. He snorts and says something about teaching me well and I only smile. I rip open the wrapper with my teeth and proceed to slide the latex onto his turgid cock. Then I lift myself up onto my knees and hover myself over said cock. His hands slide up my legs and grab my hips and he helps me lower myself down and I make a point to go extra slow - just to punish him for making me wait an entire week for this. Then, as soon as I'm down as far as I can go, I sit there, reveling in the feeling of him filling me up entirely, enjoying it.
xxx
BK.
I know what he's doing.
I know he's being a pain in the ass on purpose. Going as slow as he possibly can, engulfing my dick nice and slow so I have to wait. He's drawing it out and I can see the amusement on his face. But the amusement fades away soon and is replaced with a look that I know very, very well. A look of ecstasy - hot, hot ecstasy as he fills himself up with my cock. I try and keep my eyes open so I can look at him 'cause he looks fucking hot, his face tilted upwards towards the ceiling, his tongue darting out of his parted lips every few seconds along with a few whimpery sighs and I hope we don't go this slow the entire time 'cause his parents aren't here and I want to hear him in all his sexual pleasure.
The noises he makes - they're hot.
And, now, he can let it all out.
I urge my hips up, bringing myself impossible deeper inside of him, and he gets the message, lopsided smile on his face. I grip his hips hard as he uses his knees to lift himself up, almost all the way off of me, and then he uses all that he has to slam back down, all moans now. What I was waiting to hear and see - him all fucking wanton on top of me. When he moves up, my hips move with him; when he slams back down I use my hands for extra pressure to bring him down faster and harder, his ass swallowing my dick more and more each time. It's not even possible to get any deeper inside of him but he manages it each time, somehow. Getting me deeper inside. I bite my lip so I don't make sounds - he manages to get grunts and small moans out anyway - and hold onto his body so tightly there'll probably be, no, there will be, bruises on his skin in the morning.
And I'll have the pleasure of seeing them.
'Cause I'll be here, right next to him, all night.
He slams down one last time and we both come simultaneously, him all over his and my stomach. He slowly lifts himself up, discards the condom somewhere uncaringly, and nestles himself against my side, kissing me languidly on the mouth and then wrapping himself around me, careful of course as to not hurt me. Though, I don't think I would have cared - it being him and all.
"That was hot."
He snorts, smiles and nods in agreement.
"Goodnight, Brian."
xxx
DC. (Daphne)
I'm not blind.
And since I'm not blind I've noticed a huge difference in Justin since he'd gotten back from camp. Lucky for me, I had been out of town for a few weeks so I hadn't been subjected to that kind of torture but when he had gotten back he had been extremely worried all the time but, at the same time, happy. It was weird. I had asked him if he had turned his life over to God during camp because he was really freaking me out by the third day after getting back from camp, and he wasn't telling me anything. The answer to that question had been something thrown at me and a 'hell no, Daphne' and he had only smiled, clearly stating that he wasn't telling me shit.
Which really isn't fair since I'm his best-friend.
After two more days of prying he finally told me and, to tell you the truth, I really wasn't very surprised. I mean, I knew he had been gay. We had discussed that years ago. I'm the only person that does know, well, except for the man in his life that he had finally told me about. Brian or something. And he didn't just settle with telling me that he had gotten a boyfriend at church camp. No, he had gone into full blown detail about everything they did together. From sexual to not-so-sexual. It took him forever to describe everything because he was being so, well, detailed about all of it. Not that I mind. Gay sex isn't exactly at the bottom of my list of hot things. Ok, I'll be truthful here, it's pretty close to the top.
So, anyway, his mom must have noticed a change too - his dad probably hadn't. Hmm, that could be because the bastard never really pays attention to his son - because, after she left last night, she called me and told me to check on him this morning. Slave driver - though, of course, I'm just kidding because I had been planning on going to his house anyway. I go to his house all the time. We live down the street from each other. It's really not a big deal for me. So, me being cool and actually having an extra key to the house, I snuck in planning on scaring the hell out of him by barging into his room and screaming bloody murder. Except, there's already someone in there. Someone in bed with him. Someone hot and naked in bed with him.
Brian - who else could it be? Damn - totally not fair.
"Rise and shine, boys!"
Lucky for me, I still got scare the hell out of Justin.
The look on his face was priceless.