I've known Julian ever since we were kids, but just when he began to take a turn for the worst, I was one of the many people who decided to ignore him and go my separate way. I always had a soft spot for Julian and I realized that I still do. I moved when we were both about fifteen, but I never said bye to him.

I could see him watching me move from his bedroom window and when I caught his eye, he just looked away and left his window. I knew he hated me for leaving him when all he wanted was a friend that would tell him that he was worth it, that he was going to make it big someday. I wanted so bad to be that friend, but once he turned to drugs, I knew I couldn't associate with someone like that.

Julian could be the most sweetest, caring guy you ever know when he's not on drugs, but when he is, he's completely a different person. Not the same person I knew when we were growing up. I saw him at his driveway as I left the only friend I knew I could see a future with, even if he wasn't clean.

I did my best to make him understand that drugs weren't good for him and that he could die by it, but he didn't want to listen. He would constantly blame me for leaving him when he needed me the most and it hurt to hear him say it whenever I was lecturing him. It just proved to me that me leaving hit him harder than I expected.

Once he was friends with Clay and Blair, I knew that he wasn't the same Julian I knew. Clay was a good influence on him and we became good friend, but Blair and I had sufficient arguments to make us hate each other greatly.

I made myself believe that Blair pressured Julian into drugs, that she was the reason why I wasn't able to be there for him when he needed me the most. I blamed her because I didn't want to face reality and blame myself for what happened between Julian and I.

I knew Julian loved me and he knew that I loved him, but we never said those exact three words to each other. We were young and it was too late to admit our feelings for each other because by the time realization hit, he was off doing his own thing and I was about three thousand miles away. Ever since I left Los Angeles, the sight of seeing him at his driveway as I drove away always stuck with me. Thoughts continually ran in my head as I wished that I could have at least said goodbye to him.

If I remember correctly, Clay had given me a call at the end of our senior year. I knew that whenever he called, he was in dire need of help and advice. He called me and I heard him crying and sniffling at the other end of the line.

"Clay?" I asked.

"Angela, I cau – caught Julian with Blair." He said in a hush tone as if he was afraid to accept what he was saying. Once his words left his mouth, my heart shattered into a million pieces. I wanted to cry with him, but at the same time, I just wanted to go to Julian, slap him across the face and ask him what the fuck was wrong with him for doing that to his best friend, nonetheless.

"Clay, I'm so sorry." I had no idea what else to say, I didn't want to admit that I loved Julian because then we'd both be on the phone, bawling our eyes out and pitying ourselves, blaming ourselves for not being enough.

"I'm getting out of here, you know."

"What do you mean?"

"Since you left, everything's changed. Everyone's doing drugs and Julian is hooked on it. His dad even shut him out. I know Blair is addicted, even though she's denying it. I'm leaving this place and getting an education."

"That's good; I would hate to see you into drugs." I would be fairly disappointed if I found out that Clay resorted to drugs. We all knew that he was smart and I was beginning to realize that he was one of the few people who were smart enough to get out of Los Angeles and away from all the chaos and drugs. I was lucky I left when I had the chance. If I didn't, I wouldn't know where I'd be right now. Maybe in the same position as Clay or maybe not, but I was grateful that I wasn't apart of all the drugs that was now going on in LA.

"That's the last thing you'll expect me to do." He said.

"Clay, if you ever need anything, I'll be here for you, alright?" I replied in a comforting tone and he sighed contentedly on the other end.

"Thanks, Angela. I'll call you later." I hung up as I told him the same. The entire night, I laid in my bed, staring at the ceiling and wondering what Julian was doing at the moment. Was he doing Blair? Was he doing drugs right now? I shook the thoughts that were bottled up in my mind and tried to sleep, but failed. I yearned to hear Julian's voice, even if it meant I would hear Blair's as well.

I got the courage to dial his number, but was hoping he wouldn't answer, but at the same time, hoping he would. I was about to hang up and sighed in defeat, but just as I thought he wasn't going to answer, he picked up the phone and answered it. He seemed out of breath as if he just ran a mile.

"Julian?" I said quietly. I heard him gasp in surprise and some ruffling in the background as there was a silence on the other end. I waited a couple of minutes and figured that he wanted nothing to do with me. That he was angry that I called, but just as I was about to hang up, he spoke. His voice had gotten deeper and I wondered if he had gotten taller as well.

"An – Angela?" He said, shocked.

"Hey there, stranger," I said with a small smile, fully aware that he wasn't able to see me.

"What? Why are you calling?" My heart broke piece by piece as he said those words. Was he not happy that I called? Not relieved at all?

I sighed before saying, "Um, I missed you?" I tried to make up an excuse, but telling him that I missed him was not an excuse. It was the truth, but I was not about to make him realize that I really was missing him. He could get a bit of egotistical if he had a boost to his ego.

"After about, what? Three years you call me telling me you missed me? Damn, Angela, you didn't even say bye when you left. What makes me believe you when you say that you miss me?" I knew he was going to bring up that I hadn't said bye to him when I left. I knew he was going to bring up leaving him when he needed me, I just knew it, but I didn't want to hear him say those words again.

"I'm sorry." Was all I managed to say. I knew he was frustrated with me and I didn't blame him. I was lucky enough that he hadn't hung up on me just yet.

"Sorry?" He laughed bitterly. "That's funny," he said sarcastically.

"Damn it, Julian! What do you want me to say?" I said a bit loud for my liking, but I couldn't help the anger rising within me. Why couldn't he just accept the fact that I really did miss him?

"Nothing, don't say anything. Goodbye." He said all too quickly and hung up before I even got the chance. I threw the phone across the room and thankfully, it didn't shatter to pieces. I laid back down on my bed and just lied there until the sun was shining through my windows.

It had been a couple of weeks since Julian and I spoke, but I didn't let that interfere with my life. I lived my life as if there was nothing wrong. I put a smile on my face to hide what I was truly feeling. I lived in New York and went to work at People Magazine. I talked to my boss/friend if I could get a few weeks off for Christmas and she gladly accepted since I didn't have to take photos of anyone for the cover of the magazine.

My parents had moved back to LA because they were getting restless when we just moved, but they waited until I was out of high school on my own before doing so. I called them telling them that I would have landed in LA in about a couple of hours.

I boarded the plane and looked outside the window as the plane was getting farther and farther away from the ground and closer to the clouds. I thought about Julian for most of my plane ride. I thought what I would do if I coincidentally bumped into him. I thought how he'd react if he saw me unexpectedly.

My thoughts were interrupted when the pilot spoke over the intercom and everyone around me was leaving to get off the plane. Just as I got off the plane, I happened to bump into someone. I looked up at him and was surprised. I hugged him immediately and sighed.

"Clay!" I said in excitement as we let go of each other. We walked side by side until I saw Julian waving over at him. They must have patched things up, but the sight of seeing Julian made my heart beat twice its speed.

"Angela, you look great! What are you doing here?"

"Christmas. You got tall, extremely tall." I smiled and he laughed.

"You still have that amazing smile."

"You got cute!" I said jokingly and we both were laughing now. Though, once we reached Julian, an uncomfortable silence engulfed the three of us. Julian looked great, taller than the last time I saw him, but I noticed the bags under his eyes. I noticed how he looked as if he hadn't gotten any rest in a couple of days.

"I'll see you around, Clay. Call me so we could hang out before I leave." I told him and Clay nodded as he smiled at me. I looked over at Julian and just nodded his way, not even thinking about making small talk with him. I was walking away now, but Clay and Julian caught up with me.

I was caught my surprise when Julian put an arm over my shoulder. To both of our surprise, I snuggled closer his side and he pulled me into a hug that we both have been wanting ever since I left. Clay stood there, smiling. I noticed that he knew how I felt about Julian.

Julian held me tighter as he ran a hand up and down my back.

"I've missed you, Angela." He whispered into my hair. I breathed in his scent and sighed contently.