December 7, 1941
The world was at war. Again. Clara began to feel nostalgic about war and she could not understand why. She was only twenty-one years old. How could she feel like she experienced all the horrors and pain of war? She felt so useless not being able to help, especially since she just finished nursing school. Clara hid away her feelings and focused on unpacking the boxes strewn all over the floor in her new home.
Clara and her father had recently moved from England after the fall of France to New York City. The place to be. Where her father believed they would be safe from the Nazis finding him and forcing him to join their scientific teams. One man in particular, Johann Schmidt, was becoming very interested in her father and his work. Her father, David Oswald, was a chemist and physicist researching a possible new element. Schmidt believed, if discovered, the element could help him and help win the war. He never stated which side would win the war.
Naturally, her father decided to flee to America with Clara and become lost in the sea of unknown people flooding New York City. David was extremely thorough and covered up all their tracks. He made it look like they stayed at a hotel that was bombed by the German Blitz in London and were dead. He even changed their names and adopted a New York accent and encouraged Clara to do so as well.
She was Clara Oswald no more. Now she was Connie Oswin.
After they settled into their new apartment in Brooklyn, Connie began to make friends with their next door neighbors. Her father immediately took a job at Stark Industries. She particularly became fond of Bonnie, a girl the same age as Clara and a brilliant dancer. Bonnie helped teach Clara to dance and every night, once she got good, they would go dancing. Clara was finally getting used to the peace and enjoyment in America, even adopting a New York accent and getting used to being called Connie, when she heard President Roosevelt on the radio with breaking news.
The day that would now live in infamy. December 7, 1941. Japan attacked the US naval port at Pearl Harbor. The whole country seemed to go silent and freeze as they heard about the horrid event. Clara was on the brink of tears as she clutched Bonnie and listened to the president speak of this catastrophic event. She knew what would happen next and dreaded it.
That night the girls decided to stay home and Clara could barely sleep. The next day the United States was officially at war. Clara's father, now being called John Oswin, was at work almost every day and was only home for a few hours a night. All he could tell Clara, when she saw him, was that he and a few select others were working with Mr. Stark on a top secret military project.
Soon, Clara saw a bunch of young men in military uniforms all over the city. She gave each one that looked at her a slight smile before walking away. She did not go dancing as much with Bonnie anymore. It just did not seem right to Clara to be having fun when so many young men were getting ready to be shipped off to war.
One night in March 1942 as she was listening to the radio she heard an advertisement stating the army needed nurses. Clara sat up straight as she listened to the rest of the advert. She began to plan on going to enlist in the army the next day. She could not sit around the radio all day and be useless, not using her schooling as a nurse to use. Her father was helping the war effort. Young men her age and not much older were all jumping to fight for their country. She had to be useful. Maybe she would even get lucky enough to go to England and feel the dewy grass on her feet once again.
She waited up all night for her father to tell him her plan. He arrived home at two in the morning. He looked exhausted yet exhilarated.
"Hi dad," Clara said, standing up from the couch.
John Oswin jumped, "Oh, Connie, you scared me. You should be sleeping." He looked at his daughter and saw the determined look on her face. "Something on your mind?" he inquired while tugging on his tie.
She eagerly nodded, "Well it seems like everyone but me is helping the war effort. I want to join the army. Finally be able to use my nursing schooling."
John ran his fingers through his hair, "I guess there is no point in telling you that it is too dangerous or you are too young is there?"
"No," Clara sternly replied.
He sighed, shaking his head, "Just like your mother. Determined. Alright."
She jumped in the air triumphantly, "Oh thank you, daddy! I am going to enlist tomorrow!"
"Now hold on a minute, there are some things I would like to address. First, you have to enlist as Connie Oswin. Second, we are not English anymore. I finally got us to be US citizens, with the help of Mr. Stark. That means no more English accent or terminology. Lastly, there are going to be questions about where you went to school. Tell them you lived with an aunt as a child in England and only just moved back home when you graduated from nursing school. Understood?"
Clara nodded, "Of course. I'm so excited!"
The next morning, Clara ran to the nearest army enlistment office and signed up to be a nurse. The closest office was in the Stark Expo. The building was packed with young boys all wanting to sign up and many were already in uniform. After filling out the necessary paperwork she sat in the waiting room waiting for her name to be called. The room was surprisingly empty considering how packed the rest of the building was. She guessed most of the boys who wanted to join were not eligible.
She looked around the room and saw a few girls about her age nervously waiting to be called. There were also some men in uniform that were talking among themselves. She looked at the door when she heard it open.
A young man in his early twenties entered and Clara's heart skipped a beat. He was tall with brown hair peeking under his hat and stunning blue eyes. He was in uniform and Clara could not help but admit he looked dashing. He caught Clara looking at him and smirked.
Her heart beat faster and she felt her face flush. She quickly looked away and looked down at some papers she was holding. She kept looking at the floor and heard footsteps coming close to her. Dark brown shiny shoes were pointed right in front of her and she stopped breathing. Realizing this, she took a quick breath and looked up. He had his hat in his hands and was staring straight at her with his piercing blue eyes. His dark brown hair parted on the left. He was smiling at her with perfect white teeth. She could not help but smile back at him.
"Hi," he beamed at her.
"Hi," Clara answered. Oh, she thought, he's very eloquent.
"Is that seat taken?" He asked, pointing to the empty seat next to her.
"Oh just sit down," Clara replied, rolling her eyes at him but still smiling. He grinned at her and sat next to her, spine straight.
"James Buchanan Barnes," he said holding his hand towards her.
"Cl-Connie Oswin," she replied blushing at the fact she almost spilled her real name to a man she just met. They shook hands and Clara felt her whole body get hot. She tossed her hair behind her shoulder trying to cool down her burning neck. "Quite a mouthful of a name you've got there."
He laughed. The sound was like music to Clara's tiny ears. "Yeah you could say that." He was smiling, "Just between you and me," he leaned towards her, "I rather like it, as exorbitant as it is."
Clara smirked at him, "Hmm, I bet you do."
"Most people just call me Bucky though."
"Bucky, eh? I like that."
"I'm glad I have your approval."
"As you should be. I'm not an easy person to please." Her eyes widened at what she just said and Bucky laughed again. This time she joined in.
"So why does the Army have the great privilege of being honored with your presence today?"
Clara stopped smiling as she answered, "I'm going to become an Army nurse. I decided last night and I am rather determined."
"I bet you are." He winked at her causing her to blush. She was glad he was trying to keep the conversation light. "In fact, I bet you are going to be the best nurse the Army could ever ask for. I bet you're gonna help save hundreds of men."
Clara cocked an eyebrow, "You got that impression from just meeting me?"
"I'm very perceptive," he replied, devilishly smiling.
She raised her eyebrows, "Mmm-hmm."
Their conversation was interrupted by a nurse calling in one of the girls sitting in the waiting room. When she left Clara took a deep breath and saw her hands were shaking. She made fists in her lap and held onto her papers tighter. Bucky must have noticed this for he almost immediately resumed their conversation.
"Hey, are you planning on going to the Stark Expo tonight?"
Clara stared at him for a moment before answering, "Maybe."
This was all the encouragement the confident soldier needed, "Well, me and this buddy of mine are planning on going tonight and I was just thinking you would like to come with me to the Expo."
Clara smiled, "Okay." She did want to see the elusive Mr. Stark. The man who had immediately employed her father and helped the Oswalds get their footing and citizenship in America.
Bucky grinned from ear to ear, "Great! Oh, and if you want to bring a friend along for my buddy that would be great." Clara glared at him skeptically, "He's a great guy, I swear. He's terribly smart and chivalrous and any girl would like him." He moved in his chair. Clara's glare must have been making him uncomfortable. "He's just very shy."
Clara rolled her eyes, "Oh alright. I'll get a friend to come."
"Great! Okay so wanna meet by the statues around six? That's when Stark is going to show his flying car."
Clara tried to be impressed by this, but for some reason she felt like she had seen better than flying cars. Once again she pushed away these thoughts, "Sure!"
"Connie Oswin?" the nurse came in the room.
Clara stood up and so did Bucky. Charming, she thought. "Well, see you later."
"Definitely," he winked at her. She quickly turned away before he could see her blush but she felt like he already knew she was. He unearthed her which made her scared since she only just met him. Plus, it seemed like he was getting ready to be shipped off for war any day now. She knew she should not get attached but there was something about him that made her want to anyway. Clara followed the nurse into her office, nervously clutching the papers in her hands.
"Come on Bonnie! We don't want to be late!" Clara cried from the doorway as Bonnie kept fiddling with her hair in front of the hall mirror.
"Oh I hate blind dates! They're the worst! Why did you have to drag me into this?"
"Because you're my only friend and he's hot."
"Hmm...let's just hope his taste in friends is as good as yours." Bonnie replied, finally leaving the mirror and walking towards the door.
"I hope so, otherwise I'll never hear the end of it. Come on! Maybe we'll even go dancing!"
The girls promptly arrived at six and stood nervously in front of one of the two statues. Bonnie clutched Clara's arm and she tried to control her own nerves by taking deep breaths. Then she saw Bucky in the crowd.
Her excitement took the best of her and she called, "Hey Bucky!" He saw her and waved, grinning as he and his friend walked towards them. Clara heard Bonnie groan as she got a better look at Bucky's friend. He was short and skinny with blond hair, but Clara thought he was cute in a nerdy way. "Shh!" Clara said to her friend, "he's really smart and sweet. Give him a chance."
Bonnie rolled her eyes. "Oh god, he's a twig! Why did I ever agree to this?"
Clara was beginning to get exasperated with her friend. "Please," her heart beat faster as Bucky and his friend reached them and and smiled at her, again.
"Hey Connie," Bucky stated, "this is my best man Steve." Bucky looked at Steve, his grin never wavering. Steve looked nervous. The poor lad. He briefly smiled and looked at the still grinning Bucky. Clara saw in these looks years of friendship and smiled, wishing she could have the same. She had already realized how petty and shallow Bonnie really was. And her annoyance with her had only grown after the realization, especially now since she kept catching Bonnie giving Bucky longing glances.
"This is Bonnie," Clara introduced. The tension was thick. Just then the Expo announced Mr. Stark would be showing his latest automotive achievement and Clara was thankful for the interruption. She took Bucky's hand saying, "Oh my god, it's starting!" She suddenly became very interested in seeing the flying car. Not to mention the burning in her body from Bucky's touch. She led them all the way to the front of the stage where the presentation was being held.
Howard Stark was much younger and more attractive than Clara ever imagined. He looked and played the part of a genius with money to spare. Clara became so engrossed with the presentation. She found it so compelling that this man could invent a flying car hundreds of years before they were supposed to be created. Clara knit her eyebrows at that thought. How did she know that? For all she knew this could be the start of flying cars. She shrugged the thought away as the car rose in the air and stabilized. Then there was a spark and the car crashed to the floor.
A very embarrassed Stark confidently said, "I did say a few years, didn't I?" More like a hundred, Clara thought. She stopped thinking about it, her head was beginning to hurt.
"Hey Steve why don't we treat these girls to-" Clara faintly heard Bucky say. Her head was pounding. "I'll be right back. Then we'll go dancing," he said to the girls and rushed off into the crows. Clara clutched her head. Bonnie looked at her and her pouty mood changed to worry when she saw her friend was in pain.
"Connie? What is it? What's wrong?" Bonnie asked. Clara clutched her friend's arm, rubbing her temple.
"It's just a headache. It's starting to pass. I'll be alright in a minute." The pain slowly began to fade and she stood up straight. "There we go, all better." She slightly smiled.
"Are you sure?" Bonnie asked, concern plastered on her face. Clara eagerly nodded. "'Cuz if you're not, we can just go home."
"No, no. We're gonna go dancing. It's been such a long time." Bonnie gave her a look, "I'm fine, really."
She held up her hands, "Alright, you're the nurse." Clara then remembered she still had not told Bonnie, or even her father, that the army recruited her and she would be getting her assignment soon. They walked towards the direction Bonnie saw Bucky leave in and saw him and Steve talking in the Army Recruitment building. They stopped outside it. It looked like they were having a heated conversation. Bonnie kept fussing over Clara, basically begging to go home.
Clara was becoming more annoyed with her friend, so she called out, "Hey, Sarge? We going dancing?"
Bucky turned around, "Yes we are!" She saw the boys hug each other and just Bucky came over. "Steve's gotta go home. It'll just be us."
"Okay," Bonnie cheerily replied and Clara knew she was overjoyed. Bucky took Clara's hand and he led them to the nearest place they could go dancing. When they arrived, Bonnie almost immediately was asked to dance by a tall, muscular soldier and she laughed and ran off to dance with him. Bucky turned and smiled at Clara.
"Wanna dance?" he asked. Clara eagerly nodded and he whisked her off towards the dance floor. Clara's body was on fire as Bucky held her and moved around the floor. They danced for what seemed like minutes, but they were actually one of the last couples to leave the club.
They left the club holding hands. When they got outside Clara looked at their surroundings. It was pitch dark, but that didn't matter to her. "I don't live too far from here. Maybe a ten minute walk."
"Want me to walk with you?" He said, deciding he was rather than asking.
Clara smirked, "Your confidence never wavers, does it?"
Bucky shook his head, "Never." He stepped closer to her.
"Uh-huh," Clara responded, not being able to focus on anything but how close he was to her. She was shocked at how much someone she only knew for a few hours was affecting her so much. She could barely breathe. "Let's get going then," she finished.
Bucky walked on her left, holding her hand. They walked at a snail's pace, neither one wanting the night to end. "So did you like the Expo?"
Clara looked at his profile. "Yeah, I did. Steve seemed really sweet. I am sorry that Bonnie was so…."
Bucky gave her hand a squeeze, "Nah, it didn't even bother him. All he's thinking about is the war and not being able to join the army. Speaking of which, how did your recruitment go?"
"Oh!" Clara beamed, "It was fantastic! You are looking at the US Army's newest nurse!" She giggled causing her to blush.
Bucky laughed, "Congrats!"
"I'm so excited! Finally I'll be able to help save people! It seems like everyone around me has been."
"You'd get along so well with Steve."
She genuinely smiled, "I bet I would. Now, what about you?"
Bucky smirked, "Well, I wanted to do the same as you. Help. So I signed up. Passed. And now I'm off. The 107th. Shipping out for England tomorrow, actually."
Clara stopped walking, "Oh, Bucky. I'm so sorry. If you wanna go and spend time with your family or Steve-"
Bucky smiled at her, "No one really to say goodbye to. Already did with Steve." He stepped closer to her, "Besides, I'd rather spend it with a beautiful, smart girl."
She blushed, "Alright then." They continued walking hand-in-hand. They arrived at Clara's door and she turned towards him. "Well, this is me."
"Yeah." He took a deep breath, taking off his hat.
"So the stone soldier does get nervous," she teased.
He laughed, "Only when I'm about to kiss an amazing girl." He leaned in and gently kissed her. Clara wrapped her arms around his neck, her whole body on fire. He put his hands on her waist. They deepened the kiss, Clara running her hands through his tousled hair. They ended their embrace, both breathing heavily, their foreheads resting on the others.
"Don't forget me," Clara said, and was shocked by what she said.
Bucky smiled, "There's no way I could."
"Good." She kissed him again. "Good luck tomorrow."
"Thanks."
"Maybe I'll see you around, soldier."
"Hope you do," he kissed her again.
"Bye." She said, this time breaking their close embrace. She reached in her bag and got her keys out and slowly placed the key in the lock and opened the door. She turned towards Bucky and was about to say goodbye again when he reached out and grabbed her, his hands cupping her face, and passionately kissed her. When they ended their embrace, Clara smiled and turned to go inside her house.
Bucky gave her hand one last squeeze, causing her to face him, before kissing it. She blushed and sweetly smiled, tears beginning to form in her eyes. "Bye, Connie Oswin." He turned around and walked down the pathway and into the street. She watched him go, wishing she could spend more time with him, wishing she could have heard him say her real name once with his perfect, deep voice.
As a tear began to fall she walked in her apartment and rushed to her bedroom. She felt a sense of foreboding fall upon her. She sank onto her bed and thought about her perfect date with the perfect James Barnes. Clara knew she would probably never see him again. Never feel the way she did when he touched her or how easy conversing with him was again. The flirting was natural. She really liked him and now he was off to the most dangerous place in the world: Europe. More tears slid down her cheeks at the thought of him getting hurt in the war. She sincerely hoped that she would see him again and brushed her tears away from her eyes. No use in crying, she thought, not yet anyway. Then she remembered his kiss on her hand and smiled. This boy was really making an impression on her.
Every day Clara thought of Bucky and hoped that he would be okay, that he would be strong and survive, and come home. It did not even matter to her if he did not come back and see her, just as long as he was alive that was good enough for her.
A week later, Clara received a letter from US Armed Services. She had to attend training for three months before being sent off to war. They were sending her to England. England! Her home! She squealed with happiness as finished reading the letter. She may be able to see Bucky, or at least find out if he was still alive somewhere in the world. She was going home.
Her father was happy for her, but was very cautious. He reminded her to continue acting like they were from America and to use her alias. Clara saw her father express worry as he thought about his only family going to the fighting Europe. He was worried he would lose her and every day hugged her and told her how much he loved her.
The training months flew by. She was making friends with her fellow nurses who would be on the same assignment as her. Clara thought about Bucky every day and some of the nurses teased her. They all thought she had a secret lover in the war. How wrong they were. They only shared one night together, but that night was all it took for Clara to only think of him. She took the teasing well and even played along, entertaining the girls with stories about him and what he looked like.
A week before Clara would be leaving for England, her father was barely home. He apologized incessantly, wanting to spend as much time with his daughter as possible before she left, but he was almost done with a huge project at work and needed to finish it as soon as possible. He believed it would help end the horrible war.
Four days before Clara was assigned to leave, someone knocked on her door after her training. She barely got any visitors, especially since she and Bonnie became very remote after their double date. Wondering who it was, Clara slowly opened the door. There stood Howard Stark disheveled in a suit and had a sad expression on his face. She was shocked, and worried. Where was her father?
"Hello Clara, I'm Howard Stark. I worked with your father." He held out his hand.
She blinked, wondering how he knew her real name. "Hi, yes, of course," Clara stumbled, shaking his hand.
He slightly smiled, "You're probably wondering how I know your name."
She nodded, "Yeah that had popped into my mind." She then realized he was still standing outside, "Come in, Mr. Stark.
He stepped in the apartment and she closed the door. "Please, call me Howard." He sat down and Clara sat across from him. He leaned forward, putting his elbows on his knees, "Your father and I were fast friends. He began to trust me and told me all about you, your past, England, Schmidt, everything. We were working on a top secret project that was supposed to help end the war. We were creating a perfect soldier." He handed her a packet of papers containing information about the project. They were working to create a perfect soldier using a special serum. The man they were injecting the serum into was none other than Steven Rogers. There was a before and after picture of him. He was now big, buff, and yet still the geeky, sweet man. Clara was happy for him.
"Well, today was the day when we created the perfect soldier as you can see. There were people from the military, newspaper men, and scientists all watching. A man by the name of Heinz Kruger was also there. Unbeknownst to us, he was part of a group that was created by Schmidt. After the procedure, he shot the man who created the serum and many others." He took a deep breath before continuing. Clara was afraid of what he was going to say, but expected it. "He killed your father."
Clara's eyes filled with tears and began to soundlessly cry. She was alone. "Luckily," Howard continued, "Steve Rogers did stop this man, but we could not get any information from him. He is dead."
She nodded. "Thank you for coming to tell me this," she said through her tears.
Howard nodded, "Of course. I respected your father very much. He was a good friend to me." Her sobs became harder as he told her this. Howard was getting very fidgety, uncomfortable at the thought of having to comfort her.
She took in a deep breath, trying to control her sobs, "Thank you, Mr. Stark." She stood up, wanting to be alone. He immediately stood. She showed him to the door and then softly closed the door after him. She sank to the carpeted floor and sobbed.
It was dark when Clara could control her sobs and she slowly walked to the kitchen. She put the kettle on and made a perfect cup of tea. When she sat down at the small kitchen table, she looked across it and saw her father's chair. Tears began to swell up in her eyes and she cried again, her tea getting cold.
Four days later, a grief-stricken Clara began her journey back home. Nothing was keeping her in America anymore and she decided to just let the Army send her wherever they pleased. When they arrived in England she felt a glimmer of hope. She was finally home. She could begin to stop pretending about who she was and be herself.
Once she began to get used to the routine at the hospital, Clara began to help save as many men as she could. A lot of soldiers were being sent to the hospital from all over Europe, England now being a country not under constant attack. She treated each man as if they were Bucky and hoped that if he was ever injured, a nurse would treat him as kindly as she was all the soldiers that were under her care. Months after their date, Clara still thought about him and smiled at the thought of him and how he made her feel, even after seeing the horrors of war.
On August 1, 1942 Clara was sent to the southern coast of England. She was extremely close to the English Channel and Allied men came in constantly for treatment. She worked as hard as she could, sleeping as little as she could manage and helping as much as she could. Then on August 19, what felt like thousands of men came in to the hospital from ships and planes for medical assistance. The doctors were becoming overwhelmed. There were too many men to treat.
One doctor sent Clara outside the hospital where the men were crowding to assist with triage. When she stepped outside, there were hundreds of men running to the hospital for help. Clara swallowed and was about to help when she saw something out of the ordinary. She saw a man running away from the hospital.
He was wearing a brown trenchcoat and suit and appeared to be chasing a man. Clara watched him run, feeling like she had to to make sure he would be okay. That it was important to protect this man. She watched as the man ran left and then began running back to the hospital. Clara finally located the person he was chasing: a soldier in a destroyed uniform holding a gun. The soldier continued running towards the hospital, the man starting to fall behind.
The soldier flew past Clara and turned around. He saw the man had fallen behind and smiled. She could now make out his sullied uniform: he was German. He must have gotten taken up in all the commotion. The German soldier aimed his shotgun at the man.
"No!" Clara screamed and jumped in front of the soldier. In an instant she felt excruciating pain and collapsed to the ground. The bullet was lodged in her stomach. She had seconds left.
"No!" The man screamed as he reached Clara. He knelt down next to her and aimed a silver and blue stick at the soldier. His gun sparked and then the wounded men around Clara attacked him. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry." He said, tears pooling in his warm, brown eyes. She slightly smiled at him and closed her eyes, the pain unbearable for her.
She was glad she saved this man.
The Doctor.
Run you clever boy, and remember me.