Hey guys! Haven't been on this site for ageeees. I wrote a fanfic over two years ago here and decided to start a new one. Hope you like it! Forgot how fun it was to write :)

Chapter 1 - The Hoodie

I held my breath and clicked into the comments on Emma's latest Instagram picture. I had told myself I wouldn't look but I couldn't help it. It took less than two seconds before I spotted the first comment tagging Ethan. I felt my chest sink as I kept scrolling. I knew that the more I read the harder it would be to stop, but I had to know what everyone was saying.

" ethandolan someone's wearing your hoooodddiiieeee."

I swiped back onto her picture where she was sitting in the back seat of a car smiling from ear to ear. I slammed my laptop shut seeing that it was, in fact, his sweater. Bitting down on my thumb I stared in front of me at Ethan's closet. I noticed that particular hoodie was still missing from his closet.

My chest sank a bit further.

I got up rubbing at my eyes and brushing the hair out of my face. Glancing at the clock that said 10:27 am. I took a random merch sweater from the box on the floor near Ethan's drum set and headed out into the bright kitchen. I drank a bit of water from the sink before looking out the window watching Ethan and Grayson pull up outside and make their way towards the door. Right on time. Ethan was swinging the keys to the house around his finger with the hoodie Emma was wearing on her Instagram draped over his arm. I let out a long breath I didn't know I had been holding and shook my head trying to shake it all out of my thoughts.

"Hey Riley, sleep well?" Grayson walked in holding some groceries and shuffled his way along the door to let Ethan in.

"Yeah, glad I can sleep in and don't need to come to these morning meetings with you guys." I forced myself to laugh mockingly.

I turned to open the fridge reaching for the orange juice as I felt arms wrap around my stomach.

"I am so tired babe you have no idea." Ethan groaned yawning and placing his chin on my shoulder. I smiled at his sleepy voice and kissed his cheek.

"Don't go and fall back asleep now though Eth, you still need to finish editing that video." He didn't seem to be listening as he grumbled something burying his nose in my hair. "Ethaaannn, it's Monday, the video goes up tomorrow and you have the dinner with your family at six, you won't have all day." I shook my head and put the orange juice down when he pretended to snore into the nook of my neck. I giggled because it tickled and tried to push him off. He turned me around throwing his full weight on me so that I had to grab onto the counter not to fall.

"I don't want to. Why do you always need to ruin the day by telling me the schedule, why do you know my schedule better than me?" He whined his chin resting on my other shoulder now. I pushed him off slowly.

"Oh, so I ruin your day now?" He smiled seeming to snap right back awake.

"Nooooo, you make my day worth living. To be completely honest I don't know what I would do without my girlfriend." Real Girlfriend. I wanted to add.

He slid his hand passed my waist and grabbed the cup of juice I had just poured chugging it before giving me an orange-tasting kiss and calling Grayson to come to do the dishes while he edited the video for the next day.

I rolled my eyes while filling another glass of juice for myself and following Ethan to his room.

"Honestly you're going to need to start putting 'sister squad' in the title for these videos," I said sitting up on my elbow on Ethan's bed, "Everyone knows you guys by that name whether you like it or not." I laughed as I watched Ethan struggle with the title after nearly two hours of editing without any difficulty. Ethan rolled his eyes.

"Yeah I know I know." He punched in the final title into the keyboard and laid back on his chair in relief as he uploaded the video to private before tomorrow when it went public.

I looked over at the thumbnail where Emma was leaning into Ethan as if she was going to kiss him to tease the fans. I bit my lip and started fiddling with the promise ring around my finger.

"Hey... are you good?" I heard Ethan say softly lifting my chin up with two fingers. I didn't realise we had been silent for so long. I looked into his concerned eyes and smiled nodding before looking away. I couldn't help my eyes from trailing off to the hoodie Ethan had tossed on the floor. He followed my gaze and sighed.

"Emma dropped it off at the meeting before going to hers today," He said brushing his hand through his dark brown hair, "I'm guessing you saw her post." He added lying down on the bed and pulling me back with him slowly tracing his fingers up and down my arm.

"Yeah." I swallowed awkwardly looking at him from the corner of my eye. He sat up on his elbow and tucked a loose strand of my hair behind my ear.

"You said you weren't going to look at those anymore." I scoffed.

"Yeah because that's easy. I can't just scroll past it... and blocking or unfollowing her isn't an option because how would that look on my part?" Ethan pressed his lips together thinking hard about it. I sighed. "Do you know how pathetic I feel about being jealous of your fake relationship?"

"It's not even a relationship though! We never even said anything in any video or post." I rolled my eyes sitting up completely and looking back at the hoodie.

"Yeah but you do plenty of other stuff to keep the fandom on their toes." Ethan sat up putting his hand on my shoulder and turning my chin to face him again.

"The hoodie wasn't my idea." I pushed his hand off tired of the same argument.

"Okay Ethan, but Grayson's "slip" in the Halloween video was your idea. Along with other videos..." I trailed off as all the posts shipping "Ethma" clouded my thoughts. I felt tears slowly start to well up in my eyes. I never cried about this shit... what was going on?

"Hey hey hey, Riley look at me," Ethan whispered gently cupping my face in his hands, "I love you. Only you. You've met Emma, you know me, it's all fake, it's just for views and stupid shit like that." I bit my tongue not wanting to say anything about how insensitive that sounded.

The truth was I knew he cared about me. I knew he loved me. But sometimes it was all a little too much... all the videos all the comments... the way everyone seemed to pay such close attention to everything. It made me look at every picture twice... reread every tweet to make sure I didn't miss anything. It drove me insane. But I couldn't tell him... I had no reason to assume he would choose me over his career. More like his life actually. Youtube was everything to him and if him being in a fake relationship with Emma helped... well I guess I had to support it.

For Ethan.

"I love you too. You know that right Eth?" He smiled pressing his forehead against mine.

"Of course I do babe," he whispered, "You show me every day. You know my schedule, respect my family, you take care of me when I'm sick, you once edited a video when I fell asleep! You do so much for me every day to show me you love m-..." Suddenly he let go of my face and looked down slowly. "Maybe I don't do enough for you..." He swallowed looking at his promise ring and then at the hoodie on the floor. I looked at him slowly and put my hand on his cheek.

"You let me sleep in your room while you work hard. You introduced me to you're family, you take me out to eat and show me places you've only ever been with Grayson as kids..." I pulled up his hand grabbing his ring finger, "You promised to love me every day for the rest of your life," I pulled him close to me by the collar of his shirt, "That's enough for me." He rolled his eyes.

"What did I ever do to deserve you?" He said with a wide smile before closing the space between us and pressing his lips against mine pushing me back on the bed. I smiled up at his face looking into his chocolate brown eyes. I had never been so in love with anyone in my life.

"I don't know what I would do if I ever lost you," I blurted it out loud without thinking. The reality of the question set in a little heavier than I thought it would. Ethan looked at me worried before brushing another strand of hair out of my face.

"You are never going to los-"

"Ethaannn! Emma's here!"