I wrote this when I was in elementary school for an assignment. A silly twist on the seven little Kids story.
There once lived a Goat named Mother Goat. She lived in a little cottage at the edge of a dark forest in the magical land, with her seven little kids.
One day Mother Ixi got a very important letter from the Committee. There was going to be a very important meeting for all the magic talking animals, and she had to leave at once! But… who would watch the kids? She called Jack, but he had to tend to his bean stalks. She called Goldilocks but she had to get her hair done. Mother Goat called everyone she knew but they had to either rebuild their homes, battle witches or fight Giant Spiders. Mother Goat was just about to give up and not go when she heard someone whistling up the road. She ran outside to see… Mali the Wolf! She ran out to ask him if he wanted to watch her kids for the day. Mali said "yes" at once because he had a terribly leaky roof. Mother Goat left at once and Mali went inside the cottage. All the little kids were bouncing big, inflatable balls at each other. Mali ordered them to stop, because they could hurt themselves, but they all started to bounce the balls at him! So Mali got a book (Royalty for Dummies) and read on the couch. Mali thought, if he left them alone, they will get tired and stop themselves.
Just as Mali got to the best part of the book and the little kids stated to whine of how hungry they were. Mali went to the pantry; he was a little hungry himself. But sadly, there was nothing in there but an expired can of peas. Mali told them to be good while he went to get food. At the bakery, the bakers son (who was new to the job) accidentally put dough on Mali's paws and set his tail on fire. Mali yelled so much at the young baker's son, his voice got a lot softer. Mali grabbed his groceries and ran out without paying. On his way back to the cottage, a Giant saw Mali running as fast as he can down the dusty road. The Giant then saw Mali as a pie and ran after him. But he tripped on his own shoelace and fell flat on his face, narrowing missing Mali. Mali, who was very shaken up, ran as fast as he could back to the cottage.
Meanwhile, at the meeting, Mother Goat met an old friend she hasn't seen in a week. Her friend told her to stay for the party next door where she met a handsome (and Rich) Goat who told to stay for another party where she had 9 pints, 4 rainbow shots, 6 Lemon Fizzes and vanilla milkshake in a pair of Boxing Gloves.
When Mali finally came to the cottage, the door was locked. Mali was forced to look through the window. He saw a HUGE bonfire in the middle of the living room with the kids throwing homework and books in and dancing around with toilet paper around their heads.
"Let me in!" cried poor Mali. One of the kids told him, they will not let him in because their Mother told them not to let anyone in unless it was their mother. Poor Mali had no choice; "Oh Kids!" said Mali in his most motherly voice, "Please open the door for your poor, helpless mother!" The Kids obeyed and let him in. Mali rushed in and quickly let out the fire and made the kids clean up. And then he finally made dinner.
As he cooked, the little kids were fighting and screeching of who would get what seat at the table. Mali rushed over to stop the fight but he saw the pot on the stove started to produce smoke. He rushed over again to the pot with a kid biting his leg, one swinging on his arm and dragging a kid with his tail. He managed to throw of the kids and stop the stew from burning at the same time. He then slowly counted to ten and reminded himself it could be worse before he slipped on some water and falling on the floor. When Mali woke up ten minutes later, he severely hurt his back and a kid sloppily wrote on his face with a permanent marker.
At the Party, Mother Goat made a boyfriend! Right before she was going to leave a second time, a terrible storm came through and everyone at the party had to stay there for the night. It didn't matter, for everyone was having a great old' time!
At the Cottage, Mali wasn't having such a great time. He was getting worried. It was already 11:00 and Mother Goat was still not there. He didn't want to watch the kids all night through. He'd rather go battle a Dragon with a cold with only a broken broomstick then watch these terrors. But he had a job to do. So, when he ordered them to go to bed but they all started to whine, stamp their feet and cry. So he told them a story his mom told him when he was a cub,
"Once upon a time, there lived a well mannered little Wolf who always did what he was told. One day, he went to see a Pig. But the pig suddenly had a heart attack and died. The clever wolf thought good food should not go to waste and ate him-" A pillow suddenly hit his face and landed on his lap. "PILLOW FIGHT!" bellowed one of the kids. As everyone started to fight, Mali tried to escape but slipped on some feathers. He managed to crawl on his hands and knees out of the room, slam the door, fall on the couch and fall asleep.
In the morning, Mali woke up to knocks on the door. Mali cautiously went to the door to see… Mother Goat! Mali was so happy he almost hugged her. But he kept his cool. When she asked him how was the kids, he managed to force a smile, say they were perfect and pull some feathers out from between his teeth. Mother Goat smiled too and gave him extra money for the over night. When Mother Goat was in the house and out of sight, he started to do a happy, little jig. He was so happy! The grass was so green and the sky was so blue… He thought he would never see it again. He decided to go celebrate with a super duper supreme sundae at the Ice Cream parlor in town. But he wasn't looking where he was going (because he was dancing), slipped on an inflatable ball and fell into their well. Mali was stuck down there for 3 whole days (because he ate so much at dinner) and it took 1000 animals, 13 dump-trucks and a helicopter to get him out of the well. And it took 9 months of therapy to make him mentally stable again.
Oh, and what about Mother Goats new Boyfriend? After he watched her kids for an hour he was never seen again.
The End.