The Man From U.N.C.L.E.

There is Nothing Wrong With Your Television Set

By Lucky_Ladybug

Notes: The characters are not mine and the story is! This is a little addendum to season 4's The Prince of Darkness Affair, two of my favorite episodes. It was originally posted at the MFU 100 Livejournal community, with my Insaneladybug account. And even though IMDB says the brothers' surname is Askoy, that is incorrect. Everybody in the episodes clearly says Aksoy.

Napoleon had not heard from Annie since the day she had walked out of U.N.C.L.E. headquarters, arm in arm with Ali Aksoy. He had doubted that she even thought much about him anymore. Hence, it was a surprise when Illya brought in a small envelope one quiet afternoon.

"Who's that from?" he asked idly, from where he was working the controls.

"Do you remember the girl who kept appearing with those Turkish brothers on the Prince of Darkness case?" Illya returned. He knew full well that Napoleon remembered.

"Annie?!" Napoleon exclaimed in amazement, rising from the chair. "What does she have to say?"

Illya removed the contents of the envelope and waved it at him. "This is an invitation to us and Mr. Waverly to attend a gathering that she and Ali Aksoy have planned at the Royal Hotel."

"A gathering?" Napoleon raised an eyebrow as he took the card from Illya. "What kind of gathering?"

"She doesn't say," Illya said with a shrug. "Perhaps it's an engagement party."

"Har har." Napoleon skimmed over the message. "Well, it's certainly very cryptic. She just says for us to be there at 7 o'clock this Thursday evening."

"I know," Illya deadpanned. "I read it first." He regarded his friend and partner with curiosity. "Are we going to go?"

Napoleon sighed, placing the card on the table. "It's against my better judgment, really, but I have to admit I'm curious to know what they're up to."

"And not, perhaps, a bit curious to know if Annie is still available?" Illya wondered.

Napoleon gave him a Look. "She mostly interfered in that case, rather than helped. And it made sense for her to choose one of those Aksoy brothers, really. She was always teamed with them."

"She had quite a good deal of interaction with you as well, my friend," Illya commented.

"That, my dear Illya, is completely irrelevant." Napoleon turned away. ". . . I suppose with even one Aksoy present, we'll need to be prepared for anything . . . strange that might happen."

"Most likely," Illya nodded. "Perhaps many of their old circus friends will be there."

Napoleon smiled. "That might not be so bad at that," he mused.

"Oh, especially if there are any pretty young assistants," Illya quipped.

"There usually are, aren't there?" Napoleon shrugged. "The first brother, for example, was a knife-thrower. And they usually throw their knives at lovely young assistants."

"Napoleon, you devil," said Illya, but he was amused.

xxxx

The assumption that there would be circus folk afoot proved quite correct. The banquet room at the Royal Hotel was filled with strongmen, fat ladies, fire-eaters, and every other type of character Napoleon could have imagined.

"Napoleon, you have got your wish," Illya commented. "There are many attractive women here."

"Quite so," Mr. Waverly mused. "But before you go running off and introducing yourself, Mr. Solo, we should really seek out our host and hostess."

"Yes, I suppose," Napoleon said, sounding distracted. "Oh, there's Ali over there." He indicated a familiar man with dark hair and a mustache sitting in a chair. He headed over, followed by Illya and Mr. Waverly.

The man got up as Napoleon approached, looking slightly pained by the movement. "Mr. Solo," he greeted, holding out a hand. "It's good to see you again."

Napoleon blinked, accepting the hand. Ali seemed more reserved than Napoleon remembered him as being. "The same," he said. "I've certainly been wondering what you and Annie have cooked up."

"I am not Ali," the other man quickly interjected. "I am Karim."

Napoleon stiffened in surprise. ". . . Why, yes, of course," he stammered. "I do remember that you were still alive from that stab wound when we checked. How silly of me. I suppose I thought you would probably still be recuperating."

Karim nodded. "Ali should be near the front of the room," he said, pointing. "With Miss Justin."

"Well, we'll go on over then," said Mr. Waverly. "It's good to see you're doing so much better, Mr. Aksoy."

Napoleon wandered ahead, a bit embarrassed at the instance of mistaken identity. He ended up plowing right into a fellow identical to the one they had just left.

"Oh, Mr. Aksoy," he greeted, again holding out a hand. "This is quite the gathering that you and Miss Justin have put together."

He received a flat grunt in response.

Rocking back, he said, "That's not like you, Ali. It's more like one of your brothers . . ."

And he trailed off. "Impossible," he breathed. "The other brothers are most definitely dead."

"Mr. Solo!"

He perked up at Annie's voice. "Ah, now we'll get this cleared up," he said. "Miss Justin, what's . . ."

"I see you've met Hassan!" Annie chirped as she wove her way over to them.

Napoleon stared him up and down. "Er, yes, we met," he said. "Is it just me or have we stepped into the Twilight Zone? I know I saw Hassan here shot dead before my very eyes."

"Silly, Hassan was found barely alive by some villagers after he was shot and they tended to him until he was well," Annie smiled.

". . . I see," Napoleon said slowly, although he really did not. "Well, you've certainly managed a successful surprise. I thought the only Aksoy I'd be meeting here was Ali."

"And there's Ali now!" Annie beamed. She hurried over to the doorway, where Ali was assisting another, identical man in coming into the room.

Napoleon's jaw dropped. The second man was gripping a cane and limping across the floor. A still-healing scar went across his left cheek. One hand was bandaged.

"Alright, now I know we're in the Twilight Zone," Napoleon exclaimed. "Or maybe the Outer Limits. That couldn't be . . ."

"Omar!" Annie said happily. "We were afraid you wouldn't get here in time."

Omar, the other voiceless brother, grunted.

Ali looked to her. "We almost didn't make it," he said. "You know how Omar is about cars nowadays."

"At least you're here!" Annie smiled.

All around them, their old circus friends began to clap.

Napoleon scratched his head, utterly bewildered. "But Omar was ejected out of a moving car into the path of another car on the freeway," he said. "And he was found dead by U.N.C.L.E. agents!"

"Only after he'd managed to drag himself to the side of the freeway when he was struck," Annie said. "And the agents just didn't examine him good enough. He came to in the morgue and scared the attendant!"

"I can see why," Napoleon said, overwhelmed.

Ali smiled. "This is the first time we have all appeared in public since the days of our circus act," he said.

"And we're all here to make a big announcement," Annie declared.

Ali nodded. "Annie has so graciously accepted my proposal of marriage," he said. Now Napoleon could see that he was wearing Annie's ring, the one Hugh had sent back.

Again came the clapping, as well as whistles and shouts of congratulations.

Napoleon supposed he really wasn't terribly surprised. "May I add my congratulations as well," he said, taking Annie's hand. "I hope you'll both be very happy together."

"I know we will be," Annie said. "Thank you, Mr. Solo. I'm glad you and the others could make it."

"Yes, so am I." Napoleon turned to weave his way through the crowd. "I'll just go get them and bring them over. Excuse me, Karim. Err, I mean Hassan . . ."

Hassan grunted.

This is already proving to be a very strange evening, Napoleon declared to himself.