Disclaimer: I do not own BBC Merlin. If I did... oh ho, the changes I would make to season 5 (more on that at the bottom)
A/N- Yes I am alive! Thank Paralelsky for this cause this is her birthday present :) Happy Birthday, Doc!
Also, this takes place after the season 3 finale so there are no spoilers for season 5.
Two hours after sunset left the castle halls relatively empty. Merlin strode through the corridors just shy of dragging his feet. Since no one was around, the warlock felt free to not crowd his face with a smile. He made a stoic figure drifting through the halls, not at all looking like a proper servant. That's right, Merlin thought inanely, the silly servant got up on the wrong side of bed this morning. Shocking. A sigh heralded his way up a narrow and winding staircase.
As he climbed with Arthur's breakfast tray balanced on his arm, Merlin knew this was more than a simple passing mood. A dark cloud had been hovering behind him for a while now- since the day he had been born really. Merlin had felt its presence since before he could remember. He had only got better at dealing with it. Now though, the pressure of hiding his magic was becoming too heavy for him to handle.
The warlock had fended off a breakdown for a few weeks, with a false hope that had been whittled away each time Morgana remained unfound and stayed that way. The whole year had been a fight, as well as the one before that when Uther was trying to find the missing Morgana. And the one before that which ended in tragedy for two people he cared deeply about. It was disturbing to Merlin how well he could cast something out of his mind, but eventually it became natural and another task he numbly carried out. The trick was always being busy and never allowing himself the time to relax. For that was stillness, and stillness led to despair.
Merlin remembered with a frown that people were starting to notice as well. Gaius often complained he was too thin, Arthur complained that he was too good of a servant, Gwen complained that he was too quiet, Lancelot complained that he wasn't himself, and Gwaine complained about everything. Their attention felt too much like pity so he let their concern pass him by, which perhaps was rather rude in the way he executed it, but caring seemed an activity that was harder and harder to accomplish. Ever since Morgana had stolen the throne. She had loved Camelot, but no longer cared for the people she once held dear. And Merlin could not help but fear that his path would follow hers the longer his magic remained a secret.
Merlin let out a loud sigh in an effort to chase away his dark mood. "Grow up, Merlin," he hissed to himself. "Just shut up."
A breath of laughter then escaped his lips upon wondering what Arthur would think if he heard Merlin tell himself to shut up. Have a conniption most likely. Merlin winced- Arthur would be angry his breakfast was late. Perhaps the prince would still be sleeping though.
He came up to Arthur's chambers wearing a frown which deepened when he reached the door. He looked down at his left arm which was still in a sling. When Morgause had flung him into the wall two months ago, his left arm had been broken quite badly and had still not fully recovered. He was at least grateful that the cast was gone. Only it was a bit tricky to open doors when his good arm was occupied. He supposed he could have used magic to heal it fully by now, but he didn't feel like bothering. He managed the door even without magic and it was just his luck that Arthur was awake when Merlin opened the door. The servant blinked at his master who was staring right at him from the table. Reports were strewn in front of Arthur but he started clearing them once the door was closed again. It took Merlin a moment to come to his senses but he was able to pin a smile onto his face for the prince.
"Morning, Arthur," he greeted energetically.
The prince eyed him strangely before casting whatever thoughts he was having aside. "Get up on the wrong side of bed this morning?" he drawled.
Arthur was the subject of a genuine smile from his servant who wasn't feeling as lonely all of a sudden. "As a matter of fact..."
"Hmm," Arthur grunted while leaning backward to make room for his food. "Well it's been one too many times this week. I don't want a mopey wake up call every morning."
Despite his dark mood, Arthur was unknowingly managing to cheer him up. "That is of course if I am up before you at all," Merlin noted.
"Well I thought that was a given."
Merlin smirked at him and placed down the tray, stealing a small sausage as he did so. Arthur scowled at him but only rolled his eyes. As the prince dug in to his breakfast, his generosity chased Merlin's bad mood away. The servant smiled and chose to engage his friend in idle chat as he tidied the chambers. His voice bounced in the room along with him and a familiar ease settled on the two men. Arthur's eyes flicked up to Merlin and before long the tension in his brow relaxed. Merlin was informing Arthur of the gossip he heard around the castle when he looked out the window. "All the servants seem to like them, but nobles are a different story. Percival is the less complained about, I think because he looks scary."
The prince nodded thoughtfully at this. "They still need to prove themselves to the rest of Camelot. I'm sure they will fit in eventually..."
As Merlin opened the window to wipe the outside panes, movement drew his eye down into the courtyard. The dazzling sun gleaming off the window and into his face made him squint his eyes but he clearly could see several horses being readied in the courtyard. His and Arthur's included.
"...I mean, I hardly know them yet," the prince continued around a stuffed mouth. Merlin could decipher his words due to practice. "They helped to save Camelot though so th-"
"Arthur?" Merlin interrupted and pointed outside to draw his attention. "Our horses are in the courtyard."
Arthur swallowed his mouthful and looked to the window with a pleased nod. His eyes found Merlin's confused ones and he explained. "We are going for a patrol."
"What?" The word burst from Merlin's lips. "But I haven't-"
"Relax, Merlin," Arthur sighed and waved his concern away, "I made arrangements with a servant to get them ready. I thought you could use a rest since you looked ready to faint last night."
The warlock blinked at Arthur. "Oh. Well..." Merlin was momentarily stumped for words. He looked at his friend with a raised eyebrow. "Are you feeling alright? Because you're acting very strange."
"I could say the same to you," Arthur stated pointedly. Merlin fought not to straighten and was relieved when the prince carried on. "Anyway, I'm bringing Lancelot and Percival so they can get to know Sirs Edward and Timond. They are well respected so if everything goes well, the rest should follow."
"In theory," Merlin felt the need to say.
Arthur threw him a familiar look, one that only made the warlock grin nowadays. "Yes, Merlin, in theory."
Merlin thought of a question he almost voiced and his lips quirked. "This was Gwen's idea wasn't it?"
"Go get ready," Arthur said in answer, "we will be back in Camelot tomorrow morning and I want to leave as soon as possible. Perhaps when we get back my father will be feeling well enough to resume his duties."
The hope was a futile one since Uther was unstable at best- most of the times he resided in his rooms in a near catatonic state but others he would become paranoid and unleash his fury and fear on anyone available. Choosing not to remind Arthur of that fact, Merlin groaned. "Alright, alright I'm going," he said and headed toward the door. "You know, you could have told me," he added airily.
"Take this," Arthur called just as Merlin passed him. The warlock turned and stared at the plate Arthur motioned to. A piece of untouched almond encrusted bread and the apple were still waiting on the plate.
"Okay," Merlin said and settled to wait for Arthur to finish his breakfast.
The blonde man rolled his eyes and pushed the tray away from him. "Now"
Merlin's dark eyebrows scrunched together. "But you're not finished."
"Your powers of observation continue to outstand," Arthur mentioned blandly.
The warlock snorted. "I could say the same to you," Merlin threw back at Arthur with more venom than he intended. He nearly froze at his mistake but luckily Arthur chalked his response up to being immature and read nothing into it.
"I'm full. Give it to the dogs for all I care," Arthur said.
Merlin took the tray but studied Arthur only half in jest. "Should I get Gaius?" The prince only sighed loudly and shooed him away. "I'll just pack a big lunch shall I?" Merlin moved away but before he opened the door he turned back to look at the prince. Arthur met his gaze curiously and Merlin smiled timidly before leaving. Arthur knew that he liked the bread. As Merlin hurried to the kitchens to drop off the breakfast tray and gather provisions for the patrol, he ate the remains of Arthur's breakfast. The task would have been rather difficult without use of his arm but his magic was just as good as one. The warlock wasn't particularly hungry but not eating it seemed almost an insult even though Arthur would never know if he did or not. Merlin could not resist a sad sigh from drifting out his lips.
Ever since they reclaimed Camelot from Morgana two months ago, Arthur had been angry. The woman he thought of as a sister betrayed him and his father could no longer rule. But even angry, hurt, and worried, he still tried not to take it out on Merlin- a fact which took the warlock off guard. He even seemed to be going out of his way to treat Merlin well. Almost as if he was afraid Merlin would leave too. So Merlin ate the piece of bread and apple and was pleased when he did not feel sick afterward. The warlock had not felt hunger in quite a while and putting food in his stomach only served to make him feel a bit queasy. But not today so Merlin took that as a good sign.
Wanting to do something for Arthur, Merlin decided to stop off at the armoury after the trip to the kitchens. By the time he collected everything and made it to the courtyard, everyone was waiting for him. Lancelot was standing by his horse and sent Merlin a wave. Beside him, Percival smiled in greeting. Arthur was already on his bay mare and looked ready to reprimand Merlin for being late. But as he laid eyes on Merlin, he shut his mouth and raised an eyebrow.
The servant was hurrying towards them with five saddle bags slung across his right shoulder, each jostling his back and front as he walked. When he reached them, Merlin grinned brightly and greeted the five knights before him. Sirs Edward and Timond nodded to him, an event that would have been shocking before Merlin helped reclaim Camelot. Both men were formidable warriors and different in their own way. Timond was shorter than Merlin and making up for his similar stature with agility. Edward on the other hand was tall and broad, his shaved head contributing to his tough exterior. Merlin sent a smile to them and hurried to attach the saddlebags he was carrying to his horse. Lancelot wandered over and helped the servant, earning a bright smile and a thank you. As Merlin secured the last one, he looked up at the resigned Arthur.
"I brought some hunting things," Merlin informed the prince.
"Merlin, this is a patrol," Arthur said slowly.
"Yes and if you happen to shoot a helpless animal on the way back, you still did your job," Merlin proclaimed happily. All of the knights exchanged amused looks while the servant hauled himself into the saddle.
Arthur waited until Merlin's back was turned before smiling and sent his horse into a trot when Merlin reigned in beside him. "Is this a sign that you are turning into a man, Merlin?" Arthur asked amusedly once they were outside the courtyard.
Merlin threw him a sidelong glance. "I just thought you needed something to help you relax," Merlin explained.
"Ah, so no then," Arthur sniped, "don't worry, I'm sure the day will come soon."
Merlin's eyes widened and he made to glare at the prince but since Arthur was too busy laughing, he increased his mare's pace to move ahead. Arthur was content to rib him until they emerged out of the gates. By then the warlock had tuned the prince out so his voice was nothing but an obnoxious hum. Merlin pulled his horse to a stop and looked around at the fields. Travellers were still flowing into the city, most with goods to sell or barter with. Some appeared to recognize Arthur and stood talking in hushed tones while staring in their direction. Merlin took a closer look and realized they were townspeople.
Arthur had his horse stop slightly in front of Merlin's and nodded to the gaping citizens with graceful ease. "Did you even hear a word I said?" Arthur asked haughtily.
"Nope," said Merlin, "where are we going anyway?"
Arthur let out an annoyed sigh. "Toward the south west. We are heading toward the White Mountains before taking Rabard's Path and circling around." He glanced back to the knights before leading the way down the road. Peasants cleared to the sides and children pointed to their number.
Merlin tilted his head in confusion and followed the prince. "But didn't-" he fell silent momentarily when Arthur sent him a swift glare. Merlin adjusted his voice to a lower volume and continued. "-Leon patrol that exact route yesterday?"
Arthur nodded his blonde head. "He did. And that is why we won't encounter any problems. I want nothing to go wrong these next two days."
Merlin handed him a stern glance. "But something always goes wrong."
There's the first chapter for all you fine folk! And yep, this is a full on reveal fic. Really hope you guys and Paralelsky like it :) It's for fun!
*crackes fingers* Ranting time! Skip over if you haven't seen season 5 cause spoilers abound. Kay, first two episodes were pretty awesome though I have issues with Aithusa- Merlin not taking responsibility for something he brought into the world really annoyed me, I don't think the writers should have made that call (poor Aithusa). Third ep was really good, seeing Uther again rocked. But why was he all of a sudden evil? That just didn't make sense. And the fourth was awesome, Mithian was cool. Now it's just a debate of Mithian/Merlin or Sefa/Merlin. Cause Sefa was really cool too. And the fifth. Oh the fifth. Very frustrating but it's my favourite episode of the season- I am going to say that was the opportune moment... missed. They had better have something absolutely epic for the actual reveal because they raised my expectations through the roof. And Mordred! I really like him. So kudos to Alexander Vhalos. The last episode was good but it was kinda out of left field. Poor Gwen always gets enchanted. All in all the episodes are amazing so far but my biggest issues are the fact that Merlin has changed so much and I don't think for the better. I hope that when the magic is revealed and Arthur accepts it, that Merlin will become more like himself again. And I just want their friendship to be more equal. It's about time. Ok I'm done now.
Again, I hoped you guys liked the little intro and you stay tuned for the next chapter. Please review! It's my birthday too :)