Smoke

Despite all the time Mai had spent amusing herself by imagining the various things that could go wrong with her wedding, she had never once considered the possibility that her would-be husband would go missing.

Leave it to Zuko to find new ways to surprise her.

The day had dawned to an unexpected ceiling of dark clouds and chilly winds, and by the time Mai had finished the traditional procession to the Grand Temple, marching at the head of a parade of female friends that wouldn't have looked out of place at a circus with all the face-paint and even a tumbling acrobat, the rain had started to drizzle. While the rest of the procession joined the increasingly soggy guests in the Grand Courtyard, Mai had been forced to retreat to one of the inner chambers and submit herself to the ministrations of a small army (about enough to occupy Gaoling but not only even half of what would be needed to fully pacify Omashu, and she should know) of servants. Her hair had to be completely redone, and of course all the makeup had to be reapplied.

That was the point where the security commander had arrived and announced that the Fire Lord had disappeared, leaving nothing but a set of formal robes.

At least she found out before being placed into The Dress. The Dress was not a thing that was actually worn so much as carried on her frame up to the Grand Alter at the center of the Grand Courtyard (because a Fire Lord couldn't get hitched near anything that wasn't Grand, of course) in a manner that made Mai think of a charging tank more than a blushing bride. When she first saw The Dress, she had despaired of even being able to carry any of her hidden weapons while sealed away within it, but then she had gotten an idea and threw a pile of her old underwear at Sokka; he in turn produced a strange garment that could hold sixteen razor blades and a short stiletto while also providing the most comfortable chest support she had ever experienced. Mai had been assured by everyone she knew that she would look beautiful in The Dress (which meant that she gave it a 40% likelihood that they were telling the truth), and she had finally agreed to wear it under documented protest. It was well-timed of Zuko to go missing before she began the process of being welded inside of it.

The first thing Mai said in response was, "Did he leave a note?"

"Ah, n- no, my lady," stammered the lanky security commander who had the misfortune of being the one to break the news.

Mai was ashamed at the relief she felt over there being no note this time. She still had the one Zuko had left her on the Day of Black Sun, all those years ago, where he told her he was leaving her for an Avatar (so to speak). Sometimes, when she really wanted an excuse to say the dirtiest words she knew, she'd fish it out of her least favorite sock drawer and read it again.

The security commander, however, did seem to share Mai's relief. "We- we don't know how he could have- could have just- well, disappeared like this! There are so many guards around that we actually caught a squad of foreign state-sponsored elephant mice trying to sneak in after the food!"

Mai just nodded. "Zuko is surprisingly good at Sneaky."

"So, ah, I don't suppose you know of way to, ah, track him down?"

Happily for the commander, Mai could indeed nod an affirmative. "Get me some dry clothes and a hat, and I'll hunt the coward down myself.

The commander blinked. "Ah, that shouldn't be necessary. If you, ah, tell us where to look or something, my forces can, ah-"

"No, they can't." Mai accepted a set of flowing black robes and a set of her knife-holders from one of the more helpful servants. "Not if he doesn't want to be found. At best, you'll get a quick glimpse of him before he disappears again, and you can only hope that none of your guards will get injured trying to detain him." She started arming herself and getting dressed.

The security commander paled at the sight of knives Mai was tying against her skin. "So we do we, ah, do?"

Mai sighed. These idiots always needed everything explained to them. "What we planned when Zuko and I finally decided to get hitched, Commander. We initiate Operation: Smokescreen." She could practically hear everyone's jaw dropping around her. It turned out that sixteen jaws plummeting in unison around her made a kind of shallow whooshing sound. She wondered if she was the first person to hear it.

When the commander managed to get her jaw working again, she said, "But- but then you'll, ah, miss your own wedding!"

"Yes, well." Mai tied her belt, shook herself to make sure nothing sharp and deadly would fall out, and then accepted a wide-brimmed hat from that helpful servant (who was definitely getting a raise once this 'find-my-dirtbag-fiancé' business was resolved). "That's another thing Zuko will have to answer for when I hunt down his nicely-shaped, inconsiderate rear."

'Operation: Smokescreen' had been developed in case of an assassination attempt or other terrorist attack on the wedding. Fire Lords didn't get married very often, after all, and Zuko's regime specifically was in need of some positive energy amongst the populace, so his marriage to Mai had been developed as a nation-wide celebration. Important people from all over the world were brought in to enjoy the party of the century, allies and rivals and even a few non-violent enemies. Nothing could be allowed to go wrong with the whole shebang, including either of the two main participants being unable to attend. Thus, in case something happened to Zuko and/or Mai, from death itself to an inconvenient case of the rumbly tummy, a pair of body-doubles had been prepared so that something similar to a wedding could still happen.

The Grand Alter was large enough that the audience would never know that they were watching a pair of body-doubles, and the substitutes had even trained to replicate Mai and Zuko's particularly sloppy way of kissing. The attendees could see the show they expected, and the bride and groom could either make everything official in a secret ceremony at their earliest convenience if they were still alive, or else one or more deaths could be announced in a week as the result of a particularly robust honeymoon.

Mai had found a certain perverse thrill in planning a wedding, getting picky about every little detail, when there was such a real chance she wouldn't get to experience it herself. But that had been when she thought the greatest danger was a bombing, not Zuko getting Water Tribe feet.

Before she could see to that particular problem, though, she had other responsibilities. Back when she was a teenager and thought she could subsist on a diet of nothing but fire flakes and desserts, she might have blown her duties off, but now she was a responsible adult who had learned how to be minimally civil with certain people. Protected from the rain by that wide-brimmed hat, it was all too easy to slip unnoticed into the crowd gathering for the wedding.

With the ceremony a mere half an hour away, the Great Temple's Great Courtyard was already full of guests despite the rain. They moved about freely while being chased by servants with umbrellas, dividing their efforts between carrying on conversations and hunting down the really good appetizers. Mai found her own family guarding their seats in the front row: Mother and Tom-Tom (who was a sobbing mess, for some reason) and Uncle and Auntie. They were fumbling about with a pair of umbrellas, trying to figure out how to cover all four of them.

Of course, it had to be Mother who spotted Mai first. Mother had always paid close attention to the way Mai walked, and didn't need to see a face to pick her daughter out of crowd. "Oh, no. What's wrong?"

Mai kept her expression blank as she replied, "We're doing the Smokescreen. The Fire Lord is detained and won't be able to make it back in time."

Tom-Tom immediately stopped his bawling. "So I'm not losing you today!" He threw his entire eight-year-old body against Mai, wrapping his arms around her waist like a vice and pressing his face into her stomach.

She tried pushing him off, already feeling the rain on his own clothes soaking into her own, but he wouldn't budge. "Didn't we have the talk about how I'm still going to be your perpetually annoyed big sister whether or not I'm single?"

Tom-Tom just shifted his head so that his nose was poking her naval through her clothes.

Uncle's reaction was preceded by a low rumble in his chest. "And what is detaining the Fire Lord on this important day?"

Ah, leave it to him to tell that she was hiding something. He could always read her so well. "Business that requires my attention as well. Top secret business that I can't even share with the Warden of the Boiling Rock. Sorry."

Uncle grunted his displeasure, but Auntie Mura slapped his shoulder and nodded to Mai with a smile. "Go, then. It's just as well, with the weather. Weddings that go unkissed by the sun are said to be bad luck."

"Well, I'm certainly a huge believer in supernatural notions that dictate how I should live my life, as you all know." Mai finally succeeded in prying Tom-Tom off of her, and she shoved the kid into Mother's arms. "I'll see you again tomorrow."

That was one notification down. There was two more groups to inform, although she wasn't looking forward to the next one. But she supposed that Zuko's family deserved the the courtesy, no matter how she felt about them. Or him.

Ursa, Noren (or Ikem or whatever his name was; Mai typically just called him "You"), and Kiyi were huddled in one of the courtyard's corners beneath a single umbrella, keeping a small but noticeable distance from the rest of the gathering. They didn't stand out much from the rest of the guests - just another elegant woman, confident man, and bony pre-teen girl - except for their clothes, which on close inspection might have appeared a bit plainer than expected for the most important event in the Caldera since the whole thing was lit on fire during the last royal power struggle. Certainly, most observers wouldn't have realized that the nice little family was as close to being royalty as people could be without actually being royalty.

Nor would they have realized that this family was the spookiest thing here, even counting the Avatar who lived in an iceberg for a century.

Mai hadn't been present when the discovery was made, but it had turned out that Princess Ursa, wife to Ozai and mother both Zuko and Azula, had implemented her exile from the Capital by going home to her remote peasant village and marrying his childhood sweetheart. Mai would have been perfectly okay with that, except the 'wedding' was less of a wedding and more of a deal with a dangerous Elder Spirit to sell their memories and faces in exchange for new ones. Ursa had become Noriko until Zuko found her years later and asked for his mommy back, at which point she reverted (after some level of drama that Mai didn't care about) but not her husband, and of course Kiyi had been fairly freaked out and sometimes still took on a thousand-pace stare that never failed to freak Mai out in turn.

Mai didn't understand any of it, especially not the part where someone would choose to sell herself to one of those Elder Spirits who in the stories weren't so big on keeping to the meaning of an agreement so much as the tricky wording, so she just avoided her future honor-family as much as possible while pretending to find them delightful.

But now she had to give them the latest batch of bad news. She couldn't approach them with any real stealth, so she settled for keeping her hands at her sides to show that she wasn't carrying any weapons. (Any visible weapons.) It was Kiyi who spotted her first, having a lower angle on her vision and so being able to see under the hat. "Hey, Lady Mai, what are you doing here?"

Ursa and Noren turned, and Mai couldn't miss the way her future mother-by-honor stiffened. "There's something wrong, isn't there?"

Mai forced a pleasant, girlish smile to her face. "Oh, no, Mother, everything is fine. Some matters of state came up that require your son's immediate attention, so we're implementing Operation Smokescreen. It's just as well, with the weather. I wouldn't want to start my life with Zuko risking such bad luck!" She tried to giggle like Ty Lee and hit a tone somewhere between Hallucinating Azula and Sun-Worshipping Serial Killer.

Kiyi groaned. "I was really looking forward to the wedding! I wanted to see you so pretty in your dress!"

The smile was starting to hurt, but Mai endured the pain. "Well, the body double has better hips than me, so it will look even prettier on her. I'm sure you'll love it! Of course, if you'd rather not attend the ceremony, I understand. The palace staff knows to make you as comfortable as possible."

Ursa's eyes were piercing and her brow pinched. "Are you sure everything okay?"

"Of course, Mother." Take a hint already, lady. "If you'll excuse me, I need to oversee some things. Buh-bye!" Mai gave a perky little wave and tried to get away, but Ursa snapped out to grab her arm and hold her in place.

Ursa craned her head so that she could look into Mai's eyes beneath the hat. "Are you okay? You seem… off."

"I'm just ashing dandy," Mai growled, before she could stop herself. A quick pinch at Ursa's wrist loosened the grip and allowed Mai to pull away. "I must be going now. Steal some appetizers before you go, I'm sure you'll love them."

She retreated into the crowd like a coward.

The last person Mai needed to find was Ty Lee, and the only thing she said to her oldest friend was, "Operation Smokescreen is in effect. If I'm not back by tomorrow, bring the Kyoshi Warriors and try to find out what happened to my body."

TO BE CONTINUED