Title: Unusual Visitation
Rating: G
Author's notes: Okay, this is gonna be kinda corny, and slightly weird. I got the idea from a fanfic author on a Muldertorture website (X-Files) and I thought I'd put an IAHB spin on it. And yes, I know, where's Trouble at Home?! I'm gonna write chapter five today, tomorrow, heck, it might even be out tonight!! But I thought I'd take a break from the Angst for awhile and write a hopefully funny reality piece. Okay, I'll stop going on and on now, and let you read it!
BTW: Audio Adrenaline is a Christian Rock Group, just in case you didn't know that.
******
It was 11 am on a Wednesday morning. The sun was high, but for one teenager, it was too early. Emily padded downstairs in her yellow pajamas and ladybug slippers, and went straight to her computer. Taped on the screen was a short, scrawled out note; 'Me and the boys went on some errands, be back soon, Love Mom'
"Well at least she put it somewhere I'd see it." Emily muttered, pulling the note off the screen. She turned on the computer, and got on Word. Her readers on Fanfiction.net were eagerly awaiting for the next part of Trouble at Home, and she planned to write the latest installment that morning. She had gotten back from a church retreat the night before, and hadn't written anything that entire weekend, and it was killing her. She also had a couple of ideas for some different stories, but felt like it would be fairer to finish up at least one more chapter of Trouble at Home before starting on another. One of her biggest pet peeves was when an author never finished a story, she hated that!
She wrote the rating, title, and summery, and was just about to write her author's notes when the screen went blank, and her word document was empty again. She looked to see if she had accidentally deleted it, but couldn't figure out how she had done it.
'Why do you do it?' suddenly typed itself on the screen.
Emily's eyes got wide. What on earth was that? Had someone sent her an IM through word? Was she even online? She checked, she wasn't. "Okay, I'm imagining this." she said to herself. "Just a prolonged lack of sleep, too much moshing to Audio Adrenaline, and way too much Mr. Pibb.
'Nope'
"What do you mean nope?" Emily asked. "Okay, stop it, I'm talking to a computer, how weird am I?"
'Not as weird as me' the computer typed.
"Okay, who are you then?" she asked, rolling her eyes.
'Turn around.'
Emily obeyed, and spun around in her chair. What she saw shocked her. The dark hair, the soulful brown eyes, the lanky figure. She spit out the Mr. Pibb she was drinking. She was staring straight into the face of Mr. Jamie Waite himself, Christopher Ralph. "Chris-Christopher Ralph," she gasped out. "What are you doing in my house?"
"Christopher Ralph? Who's he? I'm Jamie Waite. You know, the object of your torture."
Emily figured that she was dreaming, so she decided to humor her strange imagination. "Oh, so you've read my work?" she asked, crossing her arms in front of her.
"As a matter of fact, I have. I've read all four chapters of that horrible story, and I'm wondering, have you no heart?"
"Yes stupid, I have a heart."
"Then why are you so inconsiderate of other people's feelings as to write this horrible stuff about my family life, or lack of it."
"Oh, so I'm guessing that you don't like Trouble at Home?"
"No I don't. It's horrible. You beat me senseless, make me CRY, and for what? So people'll tell you how great your story is? I don't think it's great, because I'm the one that has to live it!"
"Wow, I guess I'm doing a good job then, huh?" Emily smiled.
"No no no, you're missing the point." Jamie insisted. "I don't want to have a horrible family life, I don't want those scars, I wanna be normal, kay?"
"Whoa, this is a side of you I have yet to see! Jamie Waite, normal, hmmm, what a concept. That might be interesting to write about........Nope, it wouldn't! I'll stick to the dysfunctional, weird Jamie Waite, thank you very much! And besides, I'm not the first person to make you cry. What about 'A Night to Remember'?"
"Yeah, well, the scriptwriter of that story got a visit too. Consider yourself special, since I'm paying you a visit."
Emily shook her head, this was getting good. "So let me get this straight. You don't like what I've been doing to you, so you visit me to try to persuade me to stop it. And you thought it'd WORK. Jamie dear, there's a reason I don't have a boyfriend."
"And what does that have to do with anything?" Jamie asked.
"It has to do with everything. I'm not going to be partial to you because you have a cute face. I'm a mover and shaker, I'm not a 'sweet, innocent teenage girl' that you can come visit and get me to do anything. Save the pleading and the guilt trip, cause I'll make your life miserable no matter what! I like to say that it's a hobby of mine."
"You're really messed up." Jamie muttered. "I mean, I guess I should've known that after this weekend."
Emily's mouth dropped open. "What do you mean, 'after this weekend'?"
"Duh, I was there. I saw everything." Jamie smiled.
Emily shook her head. "So you're telling me that you spent your entire weekend following me around in Gatlinburg, Tennessee? And you call ME messed up!"
"Hey, you mentioned me on the bus, so I listened. And the conference was interesting, plus, I'm kinda glad I got to hear yours and your friend Jennifer's conversation about what you're gonna do to me next. I'm glad you didn't take any of her ideas!"
"Actually, one of them is kinda growing on me."
Jamie's eyes got really wide. "No, not, not that one."
Emily nodded, an evil smile on her face. "Yes, THAT one."
Jamie groaned. "I was afraid of that. You know, all of you fanfic authors are seriously messed up. You hook me up with Catie, Val, and everyone else in the world. You throw me in front of cars, put me in MVAs, and crash planes I was in. You have my father abuse me, and have other people beat me up to top that off. And then you amputate my limbs, or paralyze me, or make me unbelievably sick. You mess with my mind, or make me out to be a complete wacko! I've only read a couple of stories that I've liked, and even those authors still hurt me in other stories. I have come here to convince you otherwise, and I feel that I have made my point. Leave me alone Emily, make me normal, or at least write a story about me being normal, without tears, pain and anguish. I feel as though you owe it to me. Now, will you consider my proposition?"
"Hmm, let me think about it." Emily leaned back in her chair, and for five long minutes just stared at Jamie. He stared back, his eyes full of hope that she'd consider what he had said. Emily smiled and waited, and waited,............and waited. Finally she cleared her throat, and said. "I've come to my decision."
Jamie leaned foreword. "And......."
Emily smiled broadly. "NOPE!" then she laughed.
Jamie sighed. "Then I'm leaving, there's no use in me ever speaking to you again."
Emily smiled. An idea had just come to her. "Oh Jamie, before you go, do one thing for me."
Jamie turned around. "And what is that?"
"Kiss me," Emily said, grinning.
"And why would I do that?"
"Because you know you want to." Emily said, standing up.
Jamie shook his head and smiled. Then he kissed her. It lasted for a few seconds, then she broke it off just as he was starting to enjoy it. "Why'd you back off?" he asked, disappointed.
"Because I know you liked it, and I felt like torturing you some more." Emily laughed at his bewildered expression. "Now go on, I don't think my mom would appreciate me having a handsome bad boy at my house, so ta ta Jamie, it's been fun."
Jamie muttered something about never understanding girls, and left.
As soon as he was gone Emily turned back around to her computer. There were her notes, summery, and title. It was as if Jamie had never 'appeared'
She shook her head and smiled. He was gonna feel her wrath this chapter, just because he had wasted 30 minutes of her time. Although even she had to admit, that kiss was nice.....................
Okay, Okay I know, corny, stupid, but I had fun, and that's all that matters. And I know that there's a similar story already up, but I started writing this yesterday, and I wanted to finish it, even though it's similar. So, Review if you want, you know how much I love feedback, especially if you want another chapter of Trouble at home soon..........(aren't I evil)
Oh, and another note, here's a little challenge. All you authors out there, write a story like this! Have Jamie, or Val, or Hank, or Tyler or anyone come and critique your fiction. It'll be fun to read what we all can come up with!!!!!
Rating: G
Author's notes: Okay, this is gonna be kinda corny, and slightly weird. I got the idea from a fanfic author on a Muldertorture website (X-Files) and I thought I'd put an IAHB spin on it. And yes, I know, where's Trouble at Home?! I'm gonna write chapter five today, tomorrow, heck, it might even be out tonight!! But I thought I'd take a break from the Angst for awhile and write a hopefully funny reality piece. Okay, I'll stop going on and on now, and let you read it!
BTW: Audio Adrenaline is a Christian Rock Group, just in case you didn't know that.
******
It was 11 am on a Wednesday morning. The sun was high, but for one teenager, it was too early. Emily padded downstairs in her yellow pajamas and ladybug slippers, and went straight to her computer. Taped on the screen was a short, scrawled out note; 'Me and the boys went on some errands, be back soon, Love Mom'
"Well at least she put it somewhere I'd see it." Emily muttered, pulling the note off the screen. She turned on the computer, and got on Word. Her readers on Fanfiction.net were eagerly awaiting for the next part of Trouble at Home, and she planned to write the latest installment that morning. She had gotten back from a church retreat the night before, and hadn't written anything that entire weekend, and it was killing her. She also had a couple of ideas for some different stories, but felt like it would be fairer to finish up at least one more chapter of Trouble at Home before starting on another. One of her biggest pet peeves was when an author never finished a story, she hated that!
She wrote the rating, title, and summery, and was just about to write her author's notes when the screen went blank, and her word document was empty again. She looked to see if she had accidentally deleted it, but couldn't figure out how she had done it.
'Why do you do it?' suddenly typed itself on the screen.
Emily's eyes got wide. What on earth was that? Had someone sent her an IM through word? Was she even online? She checked, she wasn't. "Okay, I'm imagining this." she said to herself. "Just a prolonged lack of sleep, too much moshing to Audio Adrenaline, and way too much Mr. Pibb.
'Nope'
"What do you mean nope?" Emily asked. "Okay, stop it, I'm talking to a computer, how weird am I?"
'Not as weird as me' the computer typed.
"Okay, who are you then?" she asked, rolling her eyes.
'Turn around.'
Emily obeyed, and spun around in her chair. What she saw shocked her. The dark hair, the soulful brown eyes, the lanky figure. She spit out the Mr. Pibb she was drinking. She was staring straight into the face of Mr. Jamie Waite himself, Christopher Ralph. "Chris-Christopher Ralph," she gasped out. "What are you doing in my house?"
"Christopher Ralph? Who's he? I'm Jamie Waite. You know, the object of your torture."
Emily figured that she was dreaming, so she decided to humor her strange imagination. "Oh, so you've read my work?" she asked, crossing her arms in front of her.
"As a matter of fact, I have. I've read all four chapters of that horrible story, and I'm wondering, have you no heart?"
"Yes stupid, I have a heart."
"Then why are you so inconsiderate of other people's feelings as to write this horrible stuff about my family life, or lack of it."
"Oh, so I'm guessing that you don't like Trouble at Home?"
"No I don't. It's horrible. You beat me senseless, make me CRY, and for what? So people'll tell you how great your story is? I don't think it's great, because I'm the one that has to live it!"
"Wow, I guess I'm doing a good job then, huh?" Emily smiled.
"No no no, you're missing the point." Jamie insisted. "I don't want to have a horrible family life, I don't want those scars, I wanna be normal, kay?"
"Whoa, this is a side of you I have yet to see! Jamie Waite, normal, hmmm, what a concept. That might be interesting to write about........Nope, it wouldn't! I'll stick to the dysfunctional, weird Jamie Waite, thank you very much! And besides, I'm not the first person to make you cry. What about 'A Night to Remember'?"
"Yeah, well, the scriptwriter of that story got a visit too. Consider yourself special, since I'm paying you a visit."
Emily shook her head, this was getting good. "So let me get this straight. You don't like what I've been doing to you, so you visit me to try to persuade me to stop it. And you thought it'd WORK. Jamie dear, there's a reason I don't have a boyfriend."
"And what does that have to do with anything?" Jamie asked.
"It has to do with everything. I'm not going to be partial to you because you have a cute face. I'm a mover and shaker, I'm not a 'sweet, innocent teenage girl' that you can come visit and get me to do anything. Save the pleading and the guilt trip, cause I'll make your life miserable no matter what! I like to say that it's a hobby of mine."
"You're really messed up." Jamie muttered. "I mean, I guess I should've known that after this weekend."
Emily's mouth dropped open. "What do you mean, 'after this weekend'?"
"Duh, I was there. I saw everything." Jamie smiled.
Emily shook her head. "So you're telling me that you spent your entire weekend following me around in Gatlinburg, Tennessee? And you call ME messed up!"
"Hey, you mentioned me on the bus, so I listened. And the conference was interesting, plus, I'm kinda glad I got to hear yours and your friend Jennifer's conversation about what you're gonna do to me next. I'm glad you didn't take any of her ideas!"
"Actually, one of them is kinda growing on me."
Jamie's eyes got really wide. "No, not, not that one."
Emily nodded, an evil smile on her face. "Yes, THAT one."
Jamie groaned. "I was afraid of that. You know, all of you fanfic authors are seriously messed up. You hook me up with Catie, Val, and everyone else in the world. You throw me in front of cars, put me in MVAs, and crash planes I was in. You have my father abuse me, and have other people beat me up to top that off. And then you amputate my limbs, or paralyze me, or make me unbelievably sick. You mess with my mind, or make me out to be a complete wacko! I've only read a couple of stories that I've liked, and even those authors still hurt me in other stories. I have come here to convince you otherwise, and I feel that I have made my point. Leave me alone Emily, make me normal, or at least write a story about me being normal, without tears, pain and anguish. I feel as though you owe it to me. Now, will you consider my proposition?"
"Hmm, let me think about it." Emily leaned back in her chair, and for five long minutes just stared at Jamie. He stared back, his eyes full of hope that she'd consider what he had said. Emily smiled and waited, and waited,............and waited. Finally she cleared her throat, and said. "I've come to my decision."
Jamie leaned foreword. "And......."
Emily smiled broadly. "NOPE!" then she laughed.
Jamie sighed. "Then I'm leaving, there's no use in me ever speaking to you again."
Emily smiled. An idea had just come to her. "Oh Jamie, before you go, do one thing for me."
Jamie turned around. "And what is that?"
"Kiss me," Emily said, grinning.
"And why would I do that?"
"Because you know you want to." Emily said, standing up.
Jamie shook his head and smiled. Then he kissed her. It lasted for a few seconds, then she broke it off just as he was starting to enjoy it. "Why'd you back off?" he asked, disappointed.
"Because I know you liked it, and I felt like torturing you some more." Emily laughed at his bewildered expression. "Now go on, I don't think my mom would appreciate me having a handsome bad boy at my house, so ta ta Jamie, it's been fun."
Jamie muttered something about never understanding girls, and left.
As soon as he was gone Emily turned back around to her computer. There were her notes, summery, and title. It was as if Jamie had never 'appeared'
She shook her head and smiled. He was gonna feel her wrath this chapter, just because he had wasted 30 minutes of her time. Although even she had to admit, that kiss was nice.....................
Okay, Okay I know, corny, stupid, but I had fun, and that's all that matters. And I know that there's a similar story already up, but I started writing this yesterday, and I wanted to finish it, even though it's similar. So, Review if you want, you know how much I love feedback, especially if you want another chapter of Trouble at home soon..........(aren't I evil)
Oh, and another note, here's a little challenge. All you authors out there, write a story like this! Have Jamie, or Val, or Hank, or Tyler or anyone come and critique your fiction. It'll be fun to read what we all can come up with!!!!!