Before you read...(A.K.A. Disclaimer)

Know that the title of this Phan Phic is completely property of Relient K...well, most of it and I would like you to know I wrote it during Orchestra/English (started it in Orchestra, ended it in English).

I got the inspiration to write this because a friend of mine is reading 'The Complex Infrastructure Known as the Female Mind' and I thumbed through it. The sad thing was that they had every type of female, except the 'Fanatic' (or 'PHanatic' in this case). Therefore, I decided to write my own examination of a Phangirl as Relient K do to the Drama Queen, Athlete, Poet, and so on. Enjoy!

P.S. Most of this is based off myself in particular so many of you might find no connection whatsoever to this story and I posted this on the Phantom Phan guild on GaiaOnline so, anyone who is in the guild don't think someone stole my story! XD

EDIT: Sorry Aislin, I'm not the leader of the guild. Had to work this out, because I don't think Shrub wants me stealing her identity. o.o;;

The Complex Infrastructure Known as the Phanatic Mind

Here they come. The "Phans". You could easily recognize one from a close distance or miles away. Why? Because they are always reminding you. "Phans" consist of humongous obsessees of the Phantom of the Opera. Now, you may be wondering, "Why are they obsessed with Phantom of the Opera? What's so great about it?" Any Phan would have "punjabbed" you for thinking such a thing and retort with, "What are you saying? Why aren't you obsessed with Phantom of the Opera!?"

A phan always is caught wearing (or looking like) something Phantom themed. However, you say you have never seen anyone dressed in Phantom clothing, look closer. On their knuckles could be 'POTO' or 'Erik' written in pen. A necklace could be placed under their clothing or they could have a half-mask in the backpack and/or locker for later use. All in all, the phan always has some form of Phantom themed article of clothing on their body, whether handmade or not.

If one were to sit next to a phan in class, one would hear the phan humming the entire Phantom of the Opera soundtrack and tapping their Phantom themed pen to it as well. The phan has gone off into a daydream of her/himself meeting at least one character of the book/play/movie. Most likely, the phan has not heard a word of the directions and their notes can prove this theory. Phantom note doodles. Phantom note doodles covering their binder, spirals, and notes, of course. A phan who has done just this should be left to be partnered up with another phan who also has not been listening. Phans make okay grades but sometimes they will slip up if, say, a Phantom object is up for cheap on EBay. The phan will thus stay home or not do homework to monitor the bids and/or bid at the last minute.

Phanatics have multiple websites to Phantom of the Opera bookmarked and may be in multiple Phantom message boards. may be a phan's favorite website for a select few Phantom "phan phiction" and review with an "Awesome!" or an "Update soon" for the ones they like. If a phan believes in video games (who would not?), a phanatic with The Sims or some other family simulation game will likely pair themselves with one of the Phantom characters.

When a phan is off the internet and/or out of school, phans tend to be listening to their Phantom of the Opera soundtracks (2-disc in all probability), while reenacting the entire play to anyone who has enough attention span to listen. Phans do anything Phantom themed.

Five Ways to Know You Are A Phan
1. You have Phantom themed objects all over your rooms.
2. Multiple walls in your home dedicated to Phantom.
3. If you have a computer, multiple Phan sites.
4. Thousands upon thousands of Phantom note doodles.
5. You have dressed up as a Phantom character at least once.

Phantom Phan

What You'd Expect Find in a Phan's locker?: A copy of Phantom of the Opera by Gaston Leroux, a journal full of Phantom phan phictions and doodles, and a half-mask.

Favorite Show: Why watch television when you can watch your Phantom DVD collection?

Favorite Music: Phantom of the Opera soundtrack, of course.

Favorite authors: Phan phiction writers and any author who has written a book on Phantom of the Opera.

Did You Know That...: "Phantom of the Opera is my favorite thing in the world?" Just a note in saying, I have said this so many times to people who already know it that they no longer doubt it.

THE END!

After you've read... (A.K.A., …whatever is the ending form of 'Disclaimer' oo;;)

You have made it through The Complex Infrastructure Known as the Phanatic's Mind. Wasn't long, was it? I didn't think so. But, yes, I have just lost thirty minutes of homework time (I have a Rock Cycle thing for Science and four pages, front and back, in Math) typing this all out for you. Go ahead, print it out. I don't mind. Though if I said not to you probably still would. Show it to your friends or just think I'm being a bit too up in the clouds to think you'd want to print this out.