Superhuman, a twilight fanfic

Author's note: Hello. The idea of this story is obviously inspired by Chris Brown's Superhuman, to which I am currently listening. :) This is my first time to write something on Edward's point of view. I hope I didn't do bad with this. I'll get on to my other story "It's a Date!" after. :) Please read and review.

Of course I still do not own anything about Twilight. As always, the brilliant Stephenie Meyer does. :)

Superhuman

As I sat idly in the wooden rocking chair, I roamed my eyes to scan around Bella's personal haven, committing every corner of the four-sided room to my infallible vampire memory. I felt like I already know every side, every angle and every breach in her room but, as selfish a creature as I am, I just can't get enough of her, of everything precious about my love. Right at this very moment, she is at the kitchen, cooking an early dinner for her father, Charlie. She was too stubborn, like she always had been, telling me that she can handle herself well more than I hoped she could. I tried to convince her, to let me help with the cooking, but also failed miserably to persuade her with my request.

Her intoxicating scent that emanated from this room drove me insane. The pain at the back of my throat was excruciating, comparatively similar to stabbing a sharp spear on a human's heart. I forcefully shove the growing agony aside, thinking of the much important matter I'd have to deal with first: the selfishness that takes over the already bloodthirsty creature that I am, making me feel more wretched and unworthy of her. It was my selfishness that brought danger to her existence. It was my selfishness that her once, quiet and simple life abruptly changed into one hazardous blooming disaster. It was my selfishness that she had to take the role of my first and last love, knowing that I would never ever love any other girl but her. And lastly, but definitely the worst, it was my selfishness that this eternal love was reciprocated by my delicate Bella.

I shook my head, forcing myself to concentrate on the harsh flail of reality. I shouldn't be thinking about any of these right now. I have a lot more things to be concerned of other than my miserable self and diabolical values. I drifted my eyes into her things, desperately searching for a distraction. It was not hard for my eyes to seek what I'm looking for. I found something very usual and held it very gently with my hands, not stressing a lot of my inhuman strength. It was a plain cd. I wonder what kind of music this thing encloses. Hmmm. Would it be from the 50's? or the 80's, maybe? I'd have to know.

I carefully took out the cd player from one of Bella's cabinets and slid the cd into its proper place. I hit the play button and waited anxiously for the melody of the first song.

Weak, I have been crying and crying for weeks.
How'd I survive when I can barely speak, barely eat on my knees.

Weird. This kind of song never popped into my head. So, Bella likes this type of music then. I was kind of hoping she appreciated 50's music like I do. But of course, silly me has gone through that period, for what seemed like the longest time possible, while she, on the other hand, has only been living for 17 human years. I was about to push the off button on the radio when I heard the next line of the song.

But that's the moment you came to me, I don't know what your love has done to me.
Think im invincible I see through the me I used to be.

My mind started off to wander into many different scenarios of my inhuman existence, the life that I had never chosen for myself. The memories stored in my head, as vivid as they are, came rushing at me simultaneously. The first time I woke up, not having the faintest idea of what I had become. The crystal-clear view of the world through my new eyes. The writhing pain forming at the back of my throat. The unbearable thirst and hunger for a human's blood. The rebellious adolescence I had gone through, about ten years after Carlisle created me. My parents, Esme and Carlisle, welcoming me with open arms after I abandoned them. The kind of lifestyle he had introduced me; feeding on the blood of animals as a fairly way of abstaining. My mind-reading ability that enabled me to know what everyone was thinking, both human and non-human alike. The people who, like me, never chose this way of living, of existing. Alice. Jasper. Emmett. Rosalie.

Just then, a new set of memories gushed upon me. The first time I saw Bella in the minds of every student in Forks Highschool. Her mouth-watering scent that awakened the bloodthirsty creature that I am. The undesirable yearning to satiate my hunger with her tempting blood. Our close proximity during that fateful day in Biology. Her near-death experience with Tyler's van, a turning point that changed everything about us. The deep emotion that overwhelmed me the first time I heard her say my name in her sleep. The confessions I made to reveal my true identity and her enchanting braveness that accepted me for what I truly am; a blood crazed vampire that killed numerous innocent people in my existence. Our first kiss. First touch. It's like everything happened in a blur of a second.

You've changed my whole life; don't know what you're doing to me with your love.
I'm feeling all superhuman you did that to me, a superhuman heart beats in me,
nothing can stop me here with you.
Superhuman... I feel so superhuman (x2)

The twisted fate that paired a glorious angel to a pathetic monster is truly unacceptable, indubitably cruel. Her love is like something I had never known, something I longed for a century of my existence. I had been the odd man out for far too long. I can barely stand the sickeningly love that emanated from the three couples, Alice and Jasper, Rosalie and Emmett, and Esme and Carlisle, knowing that I would never feel that deep of an emotion for anyone. That was when I met Bella, and for the first time, I know I was dead wrong with my assumption. I had never felt so… human before. Not even once did I consider myself to have these sentiments I can barely comprehend. She has resurfaced every human emotion in me and for that, I am truly grateful. She brought meaning to my pointless survival, painted the plain, empty world that I was confined in. If I could possess a human heart, each and every beat of it would speak of her name.

Strong, since I've been flying and righting the wrongs.
Feels almost like I've had it all along, I can see tomorrow.

I chuckled darkly, taking in the last two lines I just heard. Righting the wrongs. It was too far off from what I was really doing. The selfish creature that I am cannot bear to correct my wickedness, knowing that the only wrong thing that I had done was being with her. I promised myself that I'd stay, just as long as I could protect her, could save her from the dangers this world has to offer. She wouldn't like it very much if I leave, and so do I. A sharp blow of pain stabbed through me as I thought of the idea. I could not bear the agony of being separated from her. Not now. The need she feels for my presence is not even marginally close to what I feel for hers.

Where every problem is gone because I flew everywhere with love inside of me.
It's unbelievable to see how love can set me free.

It's amazing how her love strengthens me, how it gives me enough resistance to turn back to the murderous life I once had. She was everything I needed, after all. Somehow, it felt so right to be with the reason of my existence. Her deep attachment to me is the very thing that I should have avoided from happening, but it felt so perfect to know that her heart beats for the love of her life, for me.

I feel so superhuman x2
It's not a bird, not a plane, it's my heart and it's going gone away.
My only weakness is you, only reason is you, every minute with you
I feel like I can do anything...
Going, going I'm gone away, in love.

Every little fragment of my dead, unbeating heart belongs to her. I have never thought myself to be capable of feeling this much love, intensified to the deepest core of my inhuman self. She would never guess how much she means to me. She's my life. The very reason for why I'm still living, despite the hatred for what I had become. Anywhere in this world without her is hell; maybe much worse than any abyss could offer. Every fraction of a second that I'm with her is cherished, fearing that there's not much enough time for her to really understand my undying love. Of course, I wouldn't let anything happen to her. Death would never have the chance to snatch the life of my precious angel.

I had never grasp the idea of myself being a superhuman, but having Bella by my side and knowing that she loves me enough to stay with me, makes me feel like I am one.

What do you think? It it any good? :/ Please review. Your opinions really matter to me.