Twice, Regina's used Emma's first name when they were alone.
The first time was when she appeared at Regina's doorstep, hoping to discuss Henry's living arrangements after she returned from Fairy Tale Land.
Despite how exhausted she felt, she spent the night rejoicing with Henry and her father on their long overdue reunion. While her parents talked and subtly displayed their love for each other on the couch, Henry and Emma had taken to sitting on the counter, talking about the things that had happened in her absence.
"You know, mom let me stay with Grandpa while you were gone," Henry whispered.
The knowledge had taken her by surprise. Regina willingly let Henry go with David? Even after her powers returned?
She schooled her features, removing any trace of disbelief before she continued, "she did?"
Henry nodded. "You know, she really is trying to be better."
The hope in Henry's voice was clear as bells. No matter how hard he tried to convince himself that his adopted mom was evil to the core, he still wanted to believe that there was good in there somewhere. Emma watched his eyes twinkle and couldn't deny that Henry was a far better judge of character than her in the end. If he wanted to trust Regina, she would give him a chance too.
The family continued to talk through the night until Henry had to be tucked into bed. Mary Margret and David (wait, Snow and James? She'd have to figure out what to call them later… she was in no way ready to refer to them as mom and dad after all) began to fall asleep in each other's arms and Emma being Emma, was never good at being around such intimacy, quickly pulled on her red leather jacket and decided to go for a walk.
Walking through the town at night, her feet had taken her to the mayor's house on their own accord. She stood at the entrance for a while, contemplating on a scale of one to ten, how wise it would be for her to go in right now. So sure, the answer was a negative thirty but what did that matter.
With her hands firmly pushed into the pockets of her jeans, she walked up and knocked on the door.
It wasn't a few minutes later than the door opened with Regina standing at the door, wearing a plain aqua blue silk gown with a matching robe covering her shoulders. Emma swallowed hesitantly at the amount of skin she saw. She always knew Regina was a very (VERY) attractive woman but seeing her in such a form was still a little hard to resist leering. She was quite proud of herself for not looking (too much).
But then she noticed something else. The former mayor was holding a glass in her hand and from the flush in her cheeks, and the slightly dazed look in her eyes, Emma knew she was slightly intoxicated.
"What do you want Ms Swan?" She barked angrily at the blonde. The harshness of her tone brought Emma out of her reverie. She straightened her back and attempted to stand tall against her former enemy.
"We need to talk about Henry," she stated evenly. At the mention of her name, Regina's face immediately softened. She seemed to be contemplating shutting the door in her face or setting her on fire then and there. Looking down at the ground, she hesitated for a few seconds before she let Emma in.
Emma walked past her, ignoring the heavy scent of apples, perfume and the very light trace of alcohol. She went into the familiar living room and sat down on one of the posh leather seats.
Regina showed up soon enough with a refilled glass of her drink and sat on the lounge, staring at Emma expectantly. Her usually neat, dark hair was a little messy and Emma resisted the urge to reach out and set them to the side so she could see those beautiful dark eyes better.
Wait what? Shaking herself out of what were become very dangerous thoughts, Emma crossed her legs and began to speak.
"Henry and I have been wondering… how you want to settle his accommodations. I mean all his things are here after all and-"
"Just take them then," Regina snapped, taking another sip of, what was possibly, apple cider.
Emma recoiled internally. She had expected a much bigger fight than this. Instead Regina handed him over immediately. She eyed the woman suspiciously as she continued.
"What?"
Regina chuckled mockingly, "is that not what you wanted Ms Swan? To have him all to yourself? You can have him then. Henry has no interest in being my son and I have no interest in forcing a child to be mine when his heart is somewhere else."
The anger and rage in her voice was evident. Yet as she spoke, Emma quietly observed how her eyes darted away from the blonde, how her beautiful (what?) red lips tightened while her jaw clamped shut, as if resisting the urge to cry.
She was hurt. And she was just lashing out at the nearest person.
Taking in how broken the former mayor looked, Emma didn't quite think through what she did next. Slowly, she stood up and sat next to the mayor. The brunette didn't flinch but Emma knew that was the alcohol numbing her senses. Under any other circumstance, the brunette would have glared at her questioningly.
Emma settled down beside her and slowly put an arm over her shoulders. She felt the woman tense but ignored it as she spoke.
"Henry loves you… he just needs time to accept all of… this…" Emma spoke quietly.
"Henry doesn't love me… I am and will always be the evil queen to him…" Regina spoke with such defeat that it took almost of all of Emma's will to prevent herself from pulling her close.
So the blonde settled for patting her back. "Would it help if I told you that when David and Mary Margret wanted to keep him at their house, Henry was the one who asked if he could keep staying with you?"
Regina's head shot up, the movement nearly making her lose grip on her drink as she stared straight into Emma's jade green eyes.
Emma couldn't stop herself from smiling when she saw how the beautiful (seriously again?) dethroned queen reacted. What none of the Charmings understood was as a child raised in the foster system, Emma was more than familiar with the pain and hurt from being tossed aside when you were no longer wanted. Meeting Regina's mother, seeing how hard she was trying to change for Henry had made it a little more difficult for her to hate the woman.
Then again, she wasn't sure if she ever hated her in the first place. She challenged Regina in every which way she could yes, she fought against her when Regina tried to manipulate the townspeople, she took her on when she threatened Emma with the concept of losing her son forever but through all of it, she was in truth, amused and impressed by her antics. Regina never gave up for her son. It was something she hadn't seen most parents do and in some ways, she wanted to keep pushing to see how far she could trust Regina to keep Henry safe. She didn't always go about it in the right way but when it came to Henry, her heart was never corrupt.
"Did he really?" Regina whispered.
Emma didn't think anymore. She leaned closer and put her hand on Regina's cheek, softly caressing her. Regina must have been really drunk since she didn't argue. Instead, she moaned softly and leaned into Emma's palm, as if she'd been craving for the contact.
"Really," Emma decided she'd do something stupid and take a chance. No more thoughts, no more thinking. She leaned in and kissed the mayor.
My god…
Regina's lips were softer than anything she'd ever experienced. Even through the apple cider she could taste something that made her want more. She had no idea what it was but she wouldn't have hesitated to spend an eternity finding out.
Suddenly she felt Regina's tongue touch her lips tentatively, seeking permission to enter her mouth. Emma gladly gave her entry as their kiss deepened. It was a strange kiss. Emma figured if the two ever locked lips (not that she'd spent hours upon hours fantasizing what it would be like to kiss Regina), there would be a fight for domination. Instead, they were kissing like hesitant lovers. Confident yet tender. She felt Regina's hand rest behind her neck and pull her close, her body rubbing against the sheriff until she ended up straddling her. Emma willingly pulled her on top, allowing the queen to do with her as she pleased. The kiss intensified but neither one was pushing it further than that.
After what felt like hours, Regina finally pulled away, her arms wrapping around Emma as she nuzzled into the blonde's neck. She began lightly nipping at the skin under her jawline. The action was so loving, so vulnerable that Emma instinctively pulled her closer, wanting to protect this woman from whatever else threatened to harm her.
They stayed that way for a few minutes. Emma's hands had somehow gone underneath Regina's shirt and had undone her bra. She felt the Mayor fidget and she worried if perhaps she had taken too far. But her intentions were sincerely innocent. Using her long fingernails, she began lightly tracing Regina's back. She remembered from a lifetime ago, someone once did this for her when she panicked and immediately relaxed afterwards. Sure enough, the same applied with Regina.
The Mayor began humming in pleasure as she threw herself deeper into the embrace. Emma felt her weight completely shift and gently moved so that Regina was still lying on top of her as she laid on the couch.
She never stopped tracing.
The Queen cuddled into her neck, searching for more contact when Emma felt something wet tickle her chin.
Was Regina crying?
She dared not to look, fearing that if she did Regina would immediately pull away.
"I'm so tired Emma…" she whispered, defeat pouring from her soft, timid voice as she bared her soul to the woman who brought her downfall.
Emma's hold on her tightened. She was still tracing as she leaned over and did the most intimate thing she could think of. She kissed Regina's forehead.
"It's okay… you're not alone anymore… you have me… you'll always have me…" Emma had no idea what possessed her to say those words but in that moment, she meant them with all her being. She would never leave Regina, not like so many before her has done. She wouldn't ever give up on this woman.
Regina whimpered softly. Emma realized she'd stopped tracing and continued, smiling when she heard Regina sigh in approval. She kept it up until they both drifted to sleep.
That was the first time Regina used Emma's first name.
The next morning, Emma woke up alone on the couch with Regina staring at her. Her usual smirk back in place, her arms crossed, her power suit worn to perfection as she watched the dishevelled sheriff hop off the seat, effectively earning a head rush sensation.
"Well, if you're done sleeping on my couch Ms Swan, I would suggest you return back to your home before your family decides to come after me and tie me to a post."
Not one word of the previous night was mentioned by either of them.
The second time was when she realized she'd made a mistake.
Regina was innocent. She'd accused the woman for Archie's murder and found out too late who was behind it all. She wanted to throw herself under the bus when she realized the truth.
She sought out Regina all that night, leaving Henry with Archie and Mary Margaret who was quickly returning home to watch after her grandson. She bit her lower lip in anger. She knew. She knew Regina was innocent. Her instincts told her that Regina hadn't committed the crime yet after seeing Pongo's memory, fear of losing Regina made her jump to conclusions. It was a world of magic. She should have known something was wrong.
She stopped dead in her tracks.
Wait… I'm afraid of losing Regina…?
After that night where they shared their first kiss, somehow the two had come closer. Not in any way that would've made their growing relationship obvious to anyone else but Emma sensed it and she knew Regina did too.
Her smile would become more genuine when she dropped off Henry at her house. She would ask Emma on how things were going in Storybrooke as she sorted out the messes of the curse and seemed to genuinely want to listen. When Emma showed how tired she was of being labelled the 'Saviour', shouldering all the responsibility on herself, Regina would reach over, take her hand and give it a firm yet gentle squeeze without saying a word. She didn't need to though. Emma felt all her trust and faith pouring from that gesture alone.
Yes, the two were growing closer. And it scared her what that meant.
Emma wasn't paying attention to where she was going but her feet had somehow taken her to the tomb of Regina's father. Not giving it a second thought, she entered.
She'd been here before with Graham but only this time, she decided to try something else. In her previous visit, she suspected that was more than what met the eyes with the coffin but she didn't dare to investigate further, hoping Henry's imagination was just that. An imagination.
Pushing the coffin to the side, she saw the flight of steps leading down into the ground. Her heart beat faster as she began her descent. In the darkness of the night and the eeriness of the tomb, she was barely aware of how excited she grew. Regina had been missing for a few days now and she hadn't realized how frightened she was during that time. What if something happened to her? Was she safe? Was she hurt? Was she eating right? (The hell did that come from?)
Emma sighed to herself. She realized long ago that when it came to Regina, her subconscious always went to strange places.
"Regina?" She called out, her voice echoing in the dark halls.
No response. She kept walking. "Regina are you here?"
She noticed a large mirror hung to the wall at the end of the hall but paid no attention to it. She kept talking to the empty air.
"Regina… I know you're innocent," she waited. Nothing. "I know it wasn't you. Cora, she somehow got through to our world and… and she played us. She tricked us into thinking it was you. But, that's no excuse." As Emma continued her confession, she somehow began talking to herself as well. "I knew it wasn't you, you know? I saw the memory in Pongo's head and I knew it wasn't you but I was too scared to admit to… why I was so adamant about your innocence. You've done so many things wrong by us, made so many mistakes but I refused to ever really believe you were evil."
Emma dug her boots into the ground, her hands pushing into her pockets as she began walking from side to side.
"I get it you know? Why you became the way you were I mean… I had a foster mom like yours… she was… God she was a frightening woman…" Emma continued, recalling the memory she hid away from her childhood, "she said and did things that didn't seem wrong you know? But you pay attention, you watch what she does, listen to the words she use and you realize she's manipulating you. She tried to… sell me… or use me… my body for money… at first I thought she was being nice you know?" Emma felt her heart clenching at the memory. It was something she hadn't told anyone, not even Neal. Yet here she was exposing it to thin air for all she knew.
"She dressed me up, bought me make up, showed me how to put on eyeliner for the first time in my life… I was… really happy… I had a mom… I finally had a mom for me who was supposed to show me that sort of stuff. But then a few weeks later… she brought a man home and introduced me to him… something… just felt wrong… but she sat there with this smile, as if it was the most innocent thing in the world. I found out later that this guy was her landlord… she had a really nice house right? And… I was the deal… I was… what was supposed to let her stay there… they kept talking but his eyes never left me… and just… just him looking at me made me feel so dirty…"
Emma turned and walked back towards the mirror. She stared at herself in the reflection. This little bit of her past always made her feel sick with herself. In truth, her entire history laced with foster parents made her want to disappear under a blanket and fade away.
"I ran away that night. I knew, I knew what would happen if I stayed… I was only thirteen years old… I learned not to ever trust people for what they did right by you but to see what they were really doing. Their real intentions. I guess that's when my superpower sort of came about. Although it seems to be failing me a lot lately."
She stared straight into her own eyes. "I can't seem to think straight when it comes to you…"
A minute passed. Two minutes. Three minutes.
Still nothing.
Emma sighed and turned, her back leaning against the mirror and sliding down. "You're not even here are you? Here I am going on and on and you're not even here. I can't be honest when you're around. Why can't I? I don't even know why but when you're not here, when you're not where I can see you, I can't breathe. So where are you Regina? Where are you…?"
She felt herself choking on the words. She would never cry. Not for anyone except Henry. She was trying to swallow the tears when the wall behind her shook. Emma was about to stand up when she suddenly fell to the floor behind her.
"Owwww…" she moaned, her eyes suddenly bombarded with a bright white light in a room that wasn't there before. Squinting, she looked up and saw that familiar brown eyes staring back down at her.
"I'm here Emma."
That was the second time.
So the reason why Regina was drinking when Emma showed up was because of what Gold had said when Emma returned from Fairy Tale Land. She was hurt to be left behind after she'd essentially risked her life to bring back her most despised enemies for the sake of her son and no on even bothered to truly thank her. Wouldn't you drink as well when that happens to you?
This is my first completed fic in years so please, take it easy on me huh?