The epic tale also known as...

THE BALLAD OF
Schoolgirls, Megaphones, Phantoms, Sailor Fukus, Parallel Dimensions, Shadows, Reflections, Kyonshies, Black Holes, and Heat Death of the Universe
BAGGINS
(working title)

Cory looked up from the keyboard eyes wide and fingers stiff. He had taken too much. Too much everything. The eyes of the many shadows peering out his closet with a piecing gaze as if to suck his soul in like tiny black holes.
"Yeah... not real...", he muttered. The (not real) shadows giggled in a sinister tone and slid out of the closet towards Cory's bed. There lay a black figure dressed in a highschool uniform. "A phantom anime schoolgirl!", Cory exclaimed through inner monologue.
The shadows gathered around the bed and held hands and began chanting in some incomprehensible alien language, swaying back and forth they began their ritual.
"HEY FAGGOTS", Cory screeched through his magical T-Pain megaphone. "THAT'S. MY. BITCH."
The shadows turned around in shock and every last one of those bastards one after another exploded into hundreds of tiny cats with wings.
Cory lunged across the room towards the nameless, faceless female that lay before him who sprawled out in a pose so lewd the entire room blushed in embarrassment.
Piece by piece her uniform was ripped to shreds as Cory could hardly contain his arousal. No time for foreplay. He had to FUCK this phantom slut. The sheer lust that filled the air as he worked his hands in a paper-shredder sort of fashion utterly annihilating her pantsu began to reach critical levels.
At this rate, the laws of the universe were fucking toast. Toast with BUTTER. It suddenly dawned on Cory that this story wasn't meta enough and he whispered, "Damn girl... does the way the amphetamine shows in my writing turn you on?".
"FUCK YEAH IT DOES BABE", she moaned in ecstasy at the top of her lungs as the bed soared at 88mph through several parallel dimensions each with their own unique sex scenes.
Cory dug though his briefcase revealing 2 MDMA pills. "I used the word ecstasy two sentences ago therefore we need to pop dese mollys.", Cory instructed breaking the fourth wall a second time which sent the bed spiraling out of control! The two of them downed the encapsulated crystals and the drug began to take hold instantaneously. Total onset time: .696969696969 seconds. Things began happening so quick. Cory had already executed at least four-hundred twenty different sex acts within the first 10 minutes of the roll on that hot 2d phantom ass. The epic serotonin rush made him realize his true potential, he was dead set on performing every last one of them. All of the positions from every dimension, all of them!
This triggered the canceled Mayan 2012 prophecy and the energy released from all of the mind blowing orgasms restored the universe to it's true divine form. Eventual heat death? More like eventual heat stroke because the two lovers were rolling balls and needed water but they drank Kool-Aid instead. Electric Kool-Aid with LSD motherfucker. Motherfucking LSD drank yo. Delicious. Now it was a CANDY-FUCKING-FLIP quite literally (ahaha funi joek). At that moment everything became 9001 times intense and an endless phantom harem gathered around the bed.
Lined up for miles phantom kyonshies and shadow bimbos decked out in sailor fukus emerged from the spiritual plane en mass. All of them wanted a piece of the action but Cory had no time for a half-assed orgy, his attention was primed on FUCKING the phantom slut his dick was already stuck in. No time to pull out. Cory was in the house and the House was in Cory. Cory was unamused by the doctor's rude entry into his back door and before his temperature could be read he whipped out a .600 Magnum and blasted the sonovabitch into a nearby mirror because THIS ISN'T SOME HALF-ASSED ORGY GOD DAMMIT.
Dr. House's body had become even more crippled than any patient he'd ever worked with. Every feeble attempt to move made the shards of broken glass enter even DEEPER.
The shadow schoolgirl turned her head to the dying M.D. from upside-down as she was tied in the most elaborate pose with bondage rope spun from the silk of a sextillion-zillion shadow arachnids.
The previously unmentioned legion of spiders also turned to face the Doc. House gazed down into the reflections of his mutilated face in the scattered glass shards shedding [1] tear(s) as everything began to go red.
Gregory House was dead.

Cory struggled in his straight jacket falling down face first into the poofy padded floor. The white coats had fastened his belts too tight again. He needed to get out of here somehow.
He didn't know how he became trapped in this hell but he'd been there so long he could barely remember the sensations of the outside world. "How's number 1,337,666,999 doing, any improvements this morning?", asked Nurse Joy as she slid her tongue around her pencil playfully.
The doctor with the cane sighed, "Oh that tweak who had too much? Well he hasn't quit mocking me yet. Besides that the patient is still completely absorbed in his own little fantasy world, going on and on about how he's some sort of shadow pimp and sedation seems to aggravate his delusions. They've become... well let's just say they're not any less raunchy than usual."
The nurse nodded and took down notes then fiddled with her key-ring for a sec before unlocking the cell door being as cautious as her plump juicy tits would allow her. The voice from within screeched in pain as the blinding light of the asylum banished any shadows from the once pitch dark cell, "MY HOUSE... MY HOUSE... MY HOOOOOUSE".