A/N: I am a Bones fan and I am a music fan. These fandoms collide in the best ways and often some of my favorite songs have unwritten scenes of B&B goodness simmering beneath the surface. I eventually share these with you all, whether you realize the fic was inspired by songs or not. However, there are a small collection of songs that I've saved, wanting to dedicate full-fledged oneshots to celebrate these fandom collisions in all their glory. Over the last 18 months of my Bones fanship, I've collected 14 songs that have screamed "WRITE ME!" and I'm finally in a place where I can do it right. This was the first one that I tucked away. I hope you enjoy and for the love of all that's holy, listen to music. Buy it, download it, watch videos, whatever. In the words of my dear pal Nietzsche, "Without music, life would be a mistake."

OOOOO

"Falling" The Civil Wars

She had started to notice the problem a few weeks ago. The nibbling feeling in her soul that something wasn't quite right.

That she wasn't quite right.

It wasn't a feeling so much as it was a lack of feeling.

She was starting to go numb.

Haven't you seen me sleepwalking?
Cause I've been holding your hand.

She had spent the better part of her life putting her feelings in a small box, pushing them out of her brain while she worked. She could compartmentalize well and most people assumed that because she didn't show her feelings, she didn't have any.

They were wrong.

She had always experienced very strong emotions; she just knew when to show them and when to hide them away.

Booth had been the first person to see through the box and into her heart. For whatever reason, he could see the roaring passion that lay just beneath the surface of her cool exterior.

He had seen through her and it had very nearly sent her running.

She had been thinking about their younger selves a lot lately. Maybe it was Sweets' book that had stirred the memories. Even she had to admit, now that she was able to look back on it, that they made an improbable pair.

Logically, they should have never worked as a team. But yet, they had quickly discovered that she had the brain to balance his heart, the science to back up his gut and the logic to balance his magic. And most importantly, her passion for seeking the truth rivaled his passion for stopping evil. That shared passion that had overcome all of the other differences. It was the ultimate reason for their success.

So what had changed?

Haven't you noticed me drifting?
Oh, let me tell you I am.

Somewhere along the way, she had lost her purpose. Her drive to solve cases and her desire to uncover the truth had left her, and she wasn't sure how, when, or why.

Her relationships with Booth and the team were both fine. Everyone was still working just as hard as they ever did. No one seemed to notice her hollow eyes, her sleepless exhaustion, her listlessness within the lab.

No, whatever was afflicting her lay solely within her.

Even surrounded by her chosen family, her team, she felt alone.

Tell me it's nothing.

Like all things psychological in nature, she had tried to ignore the empty, aimless feeling she was experiencing. She had no reason to be lethargic so she moved forward, hoping that something would touch her, make her feel something, anything again.

What finally touched her wasn't what she had been expecting.

The Gravedigger case was supposed to be their chance, their opportunity for justice. The team had suffered, but in the end, had prevailed. They had all of the evidence to ensure that Taffettt would be locked up for the rest of her life. They would finally have their peace.

At least, in a perfect world.

Try to convince me,
That I'm not drowning.

But things started to fall apart, the nightmares came, and before she knew it, she awoke nightly, covered in sweat. The images that haunted her in her sleep dragged her down even when she was awake. She felt helpless for the first time in her adult life. She couldn't save them, she couldn't save herself.

She was drowning.

Oh, let me tell you I am.

When the team had been forced to give up their own cases to fight for the defenseless boy that lay on their slab, she lost even more of her faith in the justice system.

Why bother?

She hated herself for thinking it but there it was. That little bit of apathy, the knowledge that she was helpless, had invaded her brain and done its damage. Even when she wasn't helpless, even when she was armed with the best physical evidence in the world, it didn't matter. Her father had gotten off of a murder charge and Taffett could just as easily be set free.

Evidence could be manipulated. Juries could be swayed.

The truth didn't matter.

Please, please tell me you know,
I've got to let you go.
I can't help falling out of love with you.

"I have nightmares, Booth. Hodgins is bleeding, you're drowning. I can't help anyone." He simply looked at her with those reassuring and sympathetic brown eyes. Those eyes used to make her feel better, they used to comfort her. They had called out to her, convinced her that someone knew what she meant, someone understood. She didn't have to be alone.

Now they mocked her.

"She's never going to get the better of you, alright? Just know that? Alright? I promise." Booth offered her his empty assurances and she tried to believe him, tried to swallow the lie. In his arms, it was almost possible. But his arms didn't feel as safe as they once did and his words rang meaningless in her ears. He couldn't protect her from what she had already learned.

She was still alone.

Why am I feeling so guilty?
And why am I holding my breath?
I'm worried 'bout everyone but me,
And I keep just losing myself.

Brennan had been waiting for the other shoe to drop. And she had heard the metaphoric thunk of it hitting the floor when the Gravedigger had taunted her in court. Looking around at the pile of numbers in her lap, Brennan knew that Taffett was winning.

It made perfect sense. Taffett had no one in her life but herself. She had clarity of thought. Her logic was the only logic that mattered and for a brief second, Brennan found herself jealous of that clarity.

"What if her dispassion makes her more logical?" Booth hadn't wanted to hear Brennan's hypothesis. "I just think maybe I've lost my advantage because of all the people I'm involved with. All of the relationships, they complicate rational thought."

"You don't mean that." He had said, sure of his statement.

Didn't she?

Oh, tell me it's nothing,
And try to convince me,
That I'm not drowning.
Oh, let me tell you I am.

Please, please tell me you know,
I've got to let you go.
I can't help falling out of love with you.

Hodgins and Angela were married.

The thought still boggled her mind, hours later. They had found happiness in the darkest of times. Hodgins had been the only person in Brennan's life to understand what was at stake during this trial. In fact, she had experienced his rage vicariously, jealous of his ability to feel so much when she felt so little.

But now, her ally and her best friend had each other and she was once again amazingly and utterly alone.

"I have a sense that everything's changing." She said as she turned around to face Booth.

"Not everything! Look, we're still partners, right? And, and Taffett, she's put away. You're feeling good about that, right?" His unfailing optimism was never ending but she had had enough of his false encouragements. It was time for a reality check.

"You almost died, Booth! That could happen again! What if next time I can't get to you?" It was her deepest fear, being helpless. She had lost so many people, lost control of so many things in her life. The last thing she ever wanted to feel was helplessness and now she was drowning in it.

"It's not gonna happen again." He said definitively. She stared at him, totally in shock of his stubborn naivety.

"I envy your ability to substitute optimism for reality." It was cutting but he brushed off her insult easily.

"You know what? Maybe you just need to take some time off. Go to a beach, lay in the sun..." He was doing it again, trying to change the subject, trying to charm his way into a false sense of reality. Why did he always do that? Why couldn't he just face reality for once?

Won't you read my mind?

He was supposed to be the one who read people better than anyone. They both knew she was a terrible actress so why couldn't he see her falling apart? Was he trying to ignore it or was he really that obtuse? Did he believe his own lies?

"I might need more than a little time." The words were out of her mouth before she could think. She knew immediately that part of the reason she had spoken them was to gage his reaction to her statement but she hadn't expected the sheer look of panic that instantly covered his features.

"Don't make any decisions about your future right now." His panic spurred her brain into motion. As he stood before her, all of her muddled thoughts were finally becoming clear.

Booth would gladly stay here forever, lying to both of them, pretending they were something that they weren't, safe in his imagination.

Don't you let me lie here,

"I'm just saying..." She needed to explain. She had to make a move. It was time to end this false sense of security that he had wrapped her in for 5 years. It was a fallacy that would get them both killed.

And die here.

"You know when a dentist gives you anesthetic and tells you not to operate any heavy machinery or make any important decisions within 24 hours." Booth argued. "Alright, this case was bigger than a root canal. Come on, let's just go back inside and have one more drink. Come on, just one." He begged, trying to buy some time to change her mind but she could already feel herself slipping like sand between his fingers. She heard every inaccuracy in his false logic. She heard the artificial promises that were implied in his every breath.

She was done pretending.

"No, I'm tired, Booth. I'm gonna go home."

Oh please, please tell me you know,
I've got to let you go.
I can't help falling out of love with you.

"Alright, come on. Let's get you in a cab." He looked resigned, but he cooperated, not wanting to push her further away than she already was. "I know. It's been a long, long day. Get in there, alright. Hey, I'll see you tomorrow, alright?"

For the first time in her life, she didn't know how to answer a question.

Would he?

She kept her silence, deciding that it was better to stay quiet than spreading any more false hope. He had done that enough for the both of them tonight. If her silence worried him, he didn't show it.

Haven't you noticed?

The cab drove away and as she turned back to look at him, she knew deep down that he was too wrapped up in this to make the hard decision. She was going to have to make it for both of them.

I'm sleepwalking.

It was the only way she would survive.