Last Love Song
It could almost be called peaceful. Everything was still… deadly still… and eerily silent.
A vast emptiness stretched out across the horizon which used to be littered with many buildings – sky scrapers that jutted up towards the heavens and home where people lived. Before it had created a pattern that silhouetted across the skyline, showing a city which I had now obliterated.
It wasn't supposed to be like this.
They had told me that they evacuated the cities before calling me in. I never had any proof that told me otherwise. Until now.
Was it my fault for trusting them so easily?
Death clung to the rubble of each dismantled building like a bad smell.
Maybe it was because it was so new and fresh. But that couldn't be all, not matter how much I tried to tell myself that. It was more than only animal and plant spirits. I could feel them. Everywhere. I could feel how many humans had been lost from my actions. Their spirits were rising to pass onto the next world, and I could see them. I could see everything that I had done.
Their bodies had been taken too quickly for them to feel any psychical pain, but instead each soul had taken with it the emotions that I had created inside them. They regretted having to leave this earth. Each heart echoed the next, all holding nothing but fear and suffering - having been separated from loved ones, having been displaced for what they knew, and now having to now leave into the unknown.
Could I carry on like normal knowing the destruction I caused?
It wasn't like I could choose to stop though. When they sent me the signal, all control I once had would be passed over to them and this is what my body is used for – what I was created for.
The only control I was beginning to regain was the ability to reclaim my consciousness after each episode. But now I was faced with this. My eyes keep scanning the scene in front of me as I start to wish that I hadn't tried so hard to wake myself up. I had thought it would mean I was regaining control over myself, but I had been so wrong. It would be easier to cope – it had been easier to cope – but now that I was no longer oblivious. The guilt of it all had started to build up, settling into place on my shoulders, adding more and more weight. I knew then that it would never leave, but instead follow me each second of each hour, day after day, no matter where I go.
What if this was to happen to my city? Where I lived? My home?
Isn't that why I have to do this?
My friends and family, and the families of my friends, and then their friends on top of that. I am here to protect. Why is it that they only way to protect is to destroy? I wish their was another way. Something else that could be used… instead of me.
Innocents fall at my hands and it's wrong of me to think that they too don't have people close to them and people who care for them as strongly as I care for the people I love. But if they were given the chance, if they had my power and a chance to protect them, they would do what I do, wouldn't they?
Wouldn't they?