Dear god, ow. My face.
I went to bed, and I guess I rolled over or something. I dreamt Pokémon, probably because I spent the past two hours trying to get a female Squirtle for perfect IVs. No dice.
I don't know why Gen six gave three perfect IVs for baby Pokémon you catch. Not the ones you hatch though, just caught in the wild.
Guess all geniuses start young.
…
Huh.
My bed wasn't this prickly before.
Is this…grass?
Its grass isn't it.
It feels hard and pointy and very much so not-cotton.
Uh.
Snap to wakefulness, wait until body starts responding again.
Slowly roll over, open eyes.
…
There's the open sky above me. It's light blue with fluffy parts of white.
So it's actually a real sky.
It's not a skybox.
Great.
Excuse me while I panic a little.
…
Ok, so I'm suddenly outside. How the hell am I outside?
Did I get abducted or something?
I don't think anyone would abduct us.
Sit up, look around. I don't have my glasses so all I can see are blurs.
But…
Look at ground. It's grass alright. Really green grass too. Someone's been taking care of this lawn.
It's probably not a lawn.
Hm? I feel something hard and spindly next to my hand.
Oh hey! My glasses! All hail the Random Number Goddess for small miracles!
Pity it's my bad glasses, but it'll do.
…It's actually clean. My bad glasses have this weird coating over the right lens that's irritatingly difficult to get rid of. So are these just…what, glasses that look like my bad glasses?
Well, whatever, let's put them on…
Let's see…yep, forest, pretty thick forest.
I'm obviously not home anymore, since its winter at home and here the trees are…leafy. Deciduous trees, by the looks of it.
…
I think the question everyone wants to ask is…
Am I clothed?
Yes, yes I am. Good. Whew.
"Ok." I say out loud. "Stand up, and let's go check it out." Apparently I have imaginary friends.
You do.
You're my imaginary mind voice. That disqualifies you from friendship.
Get up, feel a tad woozy. I'm still not a morning person.
…
Walked to the trees…yep, look like oak trees, or something similar.
"Alright, wherever I'm at isn't winter. So…"
Let's take stock.
Number one: I definitely went to bed in a real, physical bed. I woke up on what is definitely not a real bed.
Number two: I went to bed dressed differently than what I'm wearing now, and I'm wearing a black long-sleeve button down shirt and gray cloth pants. Unless someone snuck into my room and dressed me up…ok that's a creepy line of thought terminating that right now.
Number three: It is certainly not winter.
Which means I've been…transported? Somehow. I'm here in a place that is definitely not home.
Gotta admit, it's pretty exciting.
There's also a road to the…over there. Technically it would be in front of me but that's meaningless since I can turn around.
Either way, let's see where that road goes.
…
…
…
That…was a little further than I thought.
Not gonna lie, as much as I'm a computers man, being outside in this wonderful weather makes me feel good. When nobody's watching I have no issues jogging, so it took less time than I thought.
A little self-conscious, we are.
That being said the road is just that, a road. No asphalt or concrete or whatever, just a dirt trail that stretches to beyond where I can see on both ends. It goes kinda down on one end and kinda up on the other.
There's nothing on the road, no people, no signs, no nothing.
This is not good for my spirits.
…Oh hey, there's something red on the other side of the road.
Walk over, pick it up…
It's a pokeball.
Holy shit, it's a legit pokeball. It fits into my hand and everything, and it doesn't feel like a toy.
What. The. Fuck.
…
It just occurred to me no game actually covers the mechanics of the pokeball. So do I just throw it to see if it's empty, or…
I remember that one anime episode with the mankey and the onigiri way back when (I was like twelve or something) but for whatever reason I hesitate to use the anime as a source.
The Jelly Donut Pokemon.
Oh well. Toss.
Nothing happened. It didn't pop open, make noise, or do anything.
I guess that means it's empty?
Huh. So now I have an empty pokeball.
These things don't break after use for real, do they? That could be problematic if it does.
Moreover I don't actually –have- a Pokémon, so I don't see how I can weaken something and then catch it.
…
Ok, actually I do see a way, but eh…don't feel too good about it.
Some poor Rattata is going to get a concussion via brain stick and then get stuck into a ball.
It's good the game doesn't go into this kind of detail, yeah?
"In any case," I sigh, "Might as well follow the road and walk for a bit." I mime flipping a coin and choose to go...uh…left. My left, not your left. Actually it would be your left, nevermind. I'm going down, I'm going down. Down is good.
Down is friendly.
Phoenix Downs are your friend.
…
Is there an item called Phoenix Up then?
…
…
…
I'm not sure how long I've been walking. My good mood at the weather is pretty much gone. There's still not a soul in sight and that puts me on edge.
I mean, yeah, there're sounds from the forest, but that fades into the background after a while.
For the record if there are Pokémon in the forest they definitely don't call using their own names. Or maybe they're all like cats and only speak name-ish when they converse with humans.
The sun's directly overhead now. It's not hot per se, but the walking is getting to me.
Big tree, shade, let's sit and rest. I'm also getting hungry. This might be problematic.
"I can't really catch a Pokémon and kill it; I don't have the tools." Oh lordy, is that really my reasoning? Then again I'm a meat eater, so I guess…well the bacon has to come from somewhere.
Resting, resting, resting…humming the route one track from the first gen games. It's really hard to get angry at nature, especially when nature is trying really hard to be serene.
"Except Route One would probably have more foot traffic." I say aloud. The lack of human noise is getting to me.
…Rustling.
Get your feet beneath you, scan for weapons.
I see a stick.
God damn, it's a setup for a brick joke. Grab stick, get away from tree, I can feel the adrenaline in my veins. Stand a little forward.
I may be a black belt but I haven't practiced for a long time. God this is going to suck.
More rustling.
…
BLOB!
Backpedal, two-hand the stick. Blob lands in front of me. Purple body, small.
Goddamn it is a brick joke. It's a Rattata.
Y'know, you always think the Rattata is small n'shit. It's marginally larger than rats I'm used to seeing. The fact that it's purple takes off any edges it might have in terms of scariness though.
Also the fact that it has huge eyes, I guess…but I grew up around rats, so it all works out.
You grew up around lab rats.
Focus. There's a Rattata in front of you and if Dwarf Fortress has taught you anything it's that carelessness will lead to a lot of deaths.
It's not moving, but it's certainly hostile. I have a stick, but if I act stupid it will come at me.
"Come at me bro." God dammit brain.
Rattata jumps at my face and HOLY shit it's fast. Games do not do justice on how fast animals are. Back away, flinch, ow. I'm a nerd for god's sake, flinching is in my blood.
Rattata tackled me in the face, and bit a little with its front teeth before I shook it off. Counterattack!
Rattata lands on the ground and I step in with my trusty stick. Use Stick With Head, and use Stick with reduced physical force.
Bonk.
I hit it?
Oh wow, I actually hit it. The thing's dizzy. Throw ball! Go go 255 catch rate!
…
Shit. I missed the throw.
It wasn't even moving randomly or anything. Wow that's embarrassing. Go get ball. Club ratty lightly again for good measure. It's probably not happy with me right now.
I wonder why.
I can't believe I missed a large rat with a projectile at a distance of four feet. That's just sad.
Toss ball. Contact!
Excellent.
Shaking, shaking, shaking…Ping!
I am now Youngster Joey.
…
That's actually a good point, I need an alias. Hrm.
Actually I'm not quite sure why I want an alias, but I'm likin' Axel. Axel Arma, the Dark Knight.
The Game Boy Advance version of Dark Knight though.
God I love Advance.
And now I'm humming it.
Focus again. I now have a ball with a Rattata that I clubbed over the head twice, might be a good time to make amends. And maybe name the fella.
…
I am horrible with names. Either I'm stealing from another source (usually game) entirely or I'm trying to think of a name that would be demeaning for a pet. Ugh.
…
I actually thought of naming it "One Percent".
It's funnier when it's a game.
…
Eh, maybe later.
"Rattata, come on out." I toss the ball. Rattata pops out looking dazed. I guess the two shots to the head weren't as light as I hoped.
Bend down, pet it on the head gently, and hopefully make myself not as bite-able.
It's enjoying it some, so I guess the two hits were lighter than I feared. That's good. Considering I'm nowhere near a Pokémon center, dear lord is that good.
Since this is a little like the real world it might actually be possible for Pokémon to die on screen.
I'm not fond of the Nuzlocke challenge, thank you.
Anyways, the Rattata is now, if not friendly, then at least tolerant of me.
That means pokeballs have brainwashing functions.
Eh…I'll worry about the ramifications of happiness in capitivity later.
…
…
Turns out Pokémon are rather knowledgeable of human language.
Must be another function of the brainwashing.
The Rattata understood when I told it to go find some food, and it returned with…blue berries? Oran berries? Probably Oran berries; they were blue, right? It's been a while since I actually looked a picture of a berry other than Sitrus.
Oran berries are strangely filling. I guess humans have like only 10 Health or something. Either that or I'm not that hungry yet…probably the latter.
Resting over, more walking and bonding with the Rattata now.
…
It's been…sheesh, I have no clue. Using the sun as a measure of time wasn't on my list of things to study "just in case". If I had to guess it would've been about two hours or so. My feet certainly seem to think so. Break time!
I've been taking the Rattata through his paces a little bit, get an idea of what they're good at. I wish I had the internet available right now but eh, play with what you're dealt.
So. Rattatas. In game they're a bundle of speed and agility, and most famous for the FEAR moveset. Here…also famous for speed and mobility, helped by the fact that they're small. Offensively they're pretty lackluster, relying mostly on their hard skull and sharp teeth (explains why the two bops to the head didn't do all that much). Judging by this Rattata they favor a lot of straightforward charging attacks and don't really use their mobility on offense. Defensively…they run around really well, have a thick skull, and are pretty limber.
This Rattata (I can't speak for all Pokemon) seems to enjoy staying out of its ball, and would only duck back into it after we've walked for extended periods.
We have in fact walked for extended periods, and so for now we're resting.
…
Rustling.
"Shit. Rattata!" I call the rat out again. It looks somewhat unhappy at my impromptu summoning of it but the rustling is more important.
Another Rattata pops out. This must be a tutorial battle. "This is not game mechanics." I mutter.
Either that or the other rat is just faster, 'cuz it rushed my rat and the two rammed each other head first.
I didn't tell it to tackle.
Shit. I have to actually pay attention.
Neither of them looked remotely dazed after that headfirst collision, so that means something else hurt my rat before I caught itFOCUS!
Other rat's charging again.
"Jump left!" Talking isn't a free action. My Rattata made a small hop to the left and the other rat drove itself face first into the ground. "Bite!" C'mon Random Number Goddess…!
Woo! He bit the other rat right in the torso. "Pull back!" Ratta pulls back as the wild Rattata thrashes (flail?) about. This ain't game mechanics so no arbitrary levels to know how to breathe. Yes!
The other rat takes one look at my rat and scampers off. Huh.
Ratta looks pretty proud of himself.
I hope that means he got experience.
Is it a he?
Let's just say it's a he until someone else tells me otherwise.
Ratta gets an Oran berry and a headrub as a reward.
…I wonder if this means I can teach it something insane like a thunder charge.
…I wonder what explosion does to Pokémon.
…
…
…
Grass is green! Trees are brown! Fuck this is boring!
I think another two hours have passed. We've been accosted by local vermin (read: more Rattata) but Ratty's been on the ball with his dodge-then-counter tactic. Sends them away almost immediately (I guess they're all level 2 or something). There was a brief moment of panic when a Pidgeotto tried to snatch it off, but we just hid because c'mon, large-ish bird versus small rat.
I also decided to call the little guy Ratty, because I'm just a fountain of creative originality.
By passing the time I pretended to assess my Pokémon's IVs. As far as I can tell he's faster than the other Rattata and have pretty good attack, so one of those two are his strengths; if this were game terms he'd probably have tackle and bite. I'm sure tail whip is in there somewhere but actively lowering the enemy's guard is less useful than exploiting weaknesses in their guard. And growl, he can growl. It's not as adorable as the game sounds. "Growl cutely to lower enemy attack" my ass. It just made a particular Pidgey try to rip his eyes out harder.
Towns in game have short in-between distances precisely because walking for hours on end is boring. Ugh.
RUSTLING.
…
Nothing popped out.
I'm getting jumpy. It's bright, it's, well, not quiet, but not exactly filled with ambient noise around here; this is not doing any favors for my psyche.
…
And they let ten year olds do this? Yeesh.
…
Then again the ten year old would be accompanied by a kick-ass team by the time they reach the "not regularly traversed" paths. Imagine how many people travel between Pallet and Viridian if there wasn't a limit on the animation budget.
In what, the anime?
Anime, game, whichever.
…
Ratty just stopped walking. He's looking around, sniffing the air. I'm guessing there's something unusual around here. It's gotten a lot quieter.
That's…a pretty bad sign, to be honest. I call Ratty to my side, get off the trail into some cover, and listen.
…
Sounds like…something or someone is going through the woods on the other side of the road. (Oh did I mention I'm STILL surrounded by trees?). I don't think there's enough constant noise to be more than one person. It's either a pretty big person or pretty close to us, judging by how loud it is though.
…
Oh, well. Sounds like the person (or Pokemon) just tripped and fell.
…
Sounds like a lot of somethings suddenly woke up. That's potentially not good.
"Ratty, we're checking it out, let's move." Ratty nods. God it's getting more adorable by the second. Pity it never had good enough bases for me to use in a regular game.
…
We're moving slowly through the underbrush…underbrush? Undergrowth? I don't know. The leafy things that aren't trees. Ratty's doing a better job by virtue of being small.
Whatever the somethings are they've stopped moving.
Let's see…
Clearing ahead. Ratty's tail is full up, straight as a pillar.
Alert. Danger.
A lot of danger.
So let's take a look at what the danger is.
This strikes me as horrible staying alive tactics.
That is…a lot of purple. And some blotches of yellow. And one giant spade-like blob of purple. I need new glasses.
…And they're very low on the ground, and long and elongated-like.
Ekans. And an Arbok.
And a girl.
This…is just a little inconvenient.
Just like how the forest is just a little big.
.
.
.
{ === + === }
This is a revision! Well, a little.
Wow, I used to use different line breaks entirely.
Well...I guess if this is your first time reading this it doesn't really matter, does it?
Anyways, this is still my first work, just that I'm going back with a little polish. The general quality of the story progression and plot is still bad though. Hehehe...