Swing Life Away – Chapter 1
"Am I loud & clear, or am I breaking up? Am I still your charm, or am I just bad luck? Are we getting closer, or are we just getting more lost?"
The frozen dirt crunched softly beneath my bare feet. I hadn't had the wherewithal, to put on shoes. I was only going a few hundred meters, anyhow, and the only thought I had was that I needed to escape.
The ice-cold air burned my lungs with each inhale, and the tears that had been streaming down my cheeks only minutes earlier seemed to freeze the moment I stepped outside. Luckily, there was no snow on the ground just yet.
I reached the blue doorway quickly. There was no hesitation. The house was dark, but I knew the door wouldn't be locked. I swung it open, my lungs gasping for a breath of warm air as soon as I entered the foyer. I pulled my thin cardigan tighter around my shoulders, trying to shut out the cold as I shut the door quietly behind me. I padded up the stairs and turned right down the long hallway, towards the last door on the left.
It was slightly ajar, and I stepped into the dark room. I could see the moonlight streaming in through the curtain-less windows.
"Hey," he whispered softly. I could tell he hadn't been sleeping, either.
"Hi," I said, tentatively. I always became suddenly nervous when I saw him. He reached out to me in the darkness, and the moonlight caught the palm of his hand. I walked over slowly, shedding my cardigan to the floor, my own hand outstretched to take his as soon as it could.
He pulled me down next to him, wrapping his arms and the blanket around me simultaneously.
"You're frozen," he whispered, his warm breath sending chills up the back of my spine.
I didn't respond. There was no need to. I inhaled sharply, the tears still threatening to spill from my eyes in hideous sobs.
"Shhhh," he whispered, his lips landing softly behind my left ear. "Get some rest."
I could tell it was late when I finally stirred the next morning. The sun was streaming through the windows and warmed my skin pleasantly. I sighed softly, turning over, hoping for just a few more minutes of fleeting rest. The sheets next to me were cool. He had been up for some time, no doubt.
I stretched, and sat up, my feet hitting the cool hardwood with a thud. I treaded lightly across the room, pulling a sweater out of the closet and wrapping it around my upper body. I wandered down the stairs, into the kitchen, a full pot of coffee and freshly baked pastries waiting for me. I sat down and ate slowly, the hot coffee warming me from the inside out.
Where was he? I wondered. Although I wasn't proud of it, I'd found myself making my way over here nearly every night. And every morning, Peeta was waiting for me in the kitchen when I woke up. His questions were always tentative and reserved, as though if he pried too much I would crumble. I, of course, was too proud & stubborn to just let myself stay here to begin with. It always took the shattering nightmares and cold sweats to drive me out of my own victors' house to Peeta's - or ours, as he liked to call it. I wasn't there just yet.
I heard the door to the front porch swing open.
"Good morning," he said, placing a paper grocery bag on the kitchen table. "I went to the market and got us some produce."
He smiled tentatively at me. I flinched slightly at the mention of "us". I knew he meant for us to share, but his words always seemed to imply that we were one – something I was not entirely comfortable with yet.
"Great," I said, completely lacking in enthusiasm. It wasn't that I didn't care. And I tried to be as happy as I could, I really did. It was just so hard to not constantly think about all that had been lost.
And now, I felt like I was in this completely different world – District 12 was nothing as it had once been. There were functioning – and legal – markets. Workers in the mine earned a fair wage, and living conditions had been drastically improved because of this. They could afford to go to the markets and buy items to take care of their families. Safety in the mines had also been drastically improved.
There were other jobs, too. The Capitol, for example, now hired Peacekeepers from each district – although their job descriptions varied greatly from their original purpose.
"Anything in particular you'd like to do today?" Peeta asked, coolly ignoring my usual moodiness. He unpacked the produce he'd purchased – potatoes, carrots, strawberries, asparagus, and my favourite – blackberries. No doubt most of it had been imported from District 11.
"No," I said, looking out the window. The sun was deceiving – I could tell it was cold out. The tops of Peeta's ears were pink, and his eyes watered a little as he adjusted to the heat from the roaring fireplace.
"Well," he began, washing his hands after he finished. "I was talking to Haymitch, and he suggested we might stop by later."
"Maybe," I replied. In reality, I just wanted to crawl back into bed, and wasn't quite sure why I had gotten out of it in the first place.
Peeta walked over to me, taking my hand and pulling me out of the chair. He wrapped his arms around my waist, and mine went to his neck. He pulled me in closely. He smelled of a mixture of fresh bread and soap, and I inhaled deeply. I closed my eyes and let myself relish the daily moment where I could forget everything for only a fleeting second. He had hugged me the same way each morning since we had returned from the Capitol. It was comforting, but it also felt as though he wanted to ensure I wouldn't disintegrate before his eyes.
"Come on," he said, pulling away and taking my hand. "Let's go get you ready and we can do something today."
I sighed and followed him upstairs reluctantly.