Derek slowed to a walk as he entered the park. He was supposed to be meeting Caroline here, but he didn't see her anywhere. Looking around, he did see a familiar blonde head, staring at the swing sets. Suddenly grateful that he hadn't brought Clooney with him that morning, he ambled over to the woman. "Good morning, Ma'am."
Strauss turned her face slightly to look at him, and he took in the red-rimmed and puffy eyes that told him she had been crying. "Oh, hello, Derek. How are you this morning?" Her voice was soft and sad, and he found himself reacting to it the same way he did whenever his Baby Girl was sad. Slinging an arm around her waist, he drew her close to his side, sheltering her.
"I'm doing well so far. But what keeps you staring at the distance this fine Saturday morning?"
There was a long pause, and then she seemed to deflate against his side, her own arm coming to rest low against his back. "It's the only way I can see my granddaughter. Alan got custody of the children in the divorce. Well, that's a lie. They were old enough to choose, and when Samantha came home pregnant at fifteen, he began to blame everything on my drinking, convincing them that they would be better off without me in their life. I was in rehab when Amy was born."
He wondered if Rossi knew about this as he tightened his arm around her waist. "You've never gotten to hold her?" She shook her head, and he felt the shudder that ran through her body, telling him that she was crying again. "Have you asked?"
"Yes. Samantha said no. Alan said no. David told me to fight, but there's no fight left in me at the moment. All of that energy is directed towards staying sober. I was at a function for the FBI the other night, and accepted a glass of red wine without even thinking. The first sip both excited and repulsed me. I made my excuses and left. I can't even trust myself, Derek. Do you have any idea how much that hurts?"
He had no answer for her. What answer could he give her, when he could still enjoy alcohol without thought? He shrugged a little and listened to her sigh. "Why don't we go up to the swing set? I could push you."
That brought forth a soft laugh from her and he smiled. "I haven't swung since I was a child."
"Then it is high time you changed that." Moving his arm, he fumbled for her hand, finally clasping it and tugging her over to the open swing. "Now sit your pretty little rear end on that swing and just let go for one moment." She nodded as she sat, looking up at him with a small smile on her face.
Derek pulled back on the seat, eliciting a small shriek from her and he laughed. "It's not funny, Derek. You startled me!"
"Sorry 'bout that. Here comes the fun part." He began to push her gently, taking care to only touch her lower back. "Remember to pump your legs to get some good air." She shook her head a little, but did as told, rising higher and higher in the air.
"How do I stop?" she asked, a touch of fear in her voice. As he watched, a young girl whipped her head around to look at them, and he knew that must be her daughter. Waving at her, he caught the chains of the swing, slowing Erin down.
"Don't look now, but I think Samantha spotted us." Her eyes widened and she drew in a sharp breath. "Do you trust me?" She nodded. "All right, then." He bent and brushed his lips over hers, watching her daughter carefully. The young woman's eyes widened as she took a step towards them, and Derek deepened the kiss a little. Erin responded to the embrace, bringing her arms up around his neck and holding him close.
Samantha backed off, shaking her head as she hoisted a small baby out of the infant swing and brought her over to a stroller. Derek released Erin from the kiss and they stared at each other. "David and I are no longer together."
"That's good to know." He felt off kilter, like the world had suddenly shifted off its axis, and he smiled, needing to create a bit of a buffer between them.
"Mom? Are you really making out with a black guy? I thought you were dating that old Italian horndog."
They both turned their heads to look at Samantha, and Erin shrugged, looking slightly embarrassed. "I take it your father has also been keeping you current with my love life. And how has he been?"
"Perfectly happy now that you're gone." Derek tried not to shiver at the vicious, bitter, tone to her voice. "I suppose you want to see Amy, since I came over here."
"May I?" Erin's voice quivered on those two words, and he helped her to stand before wrapping an arm around her waist, supporting her. Samantha nodded somewhat reluctantly as she lifted the baby out of the stroller, handing her over. Derek listened to Erin's breath catch in her throat as she held her granddaughter for the first time. "She's so beautiful."
"And she has your coloring, Erin," he murmured softly as he looked down at the sleeping baby. Erin smiled gently up at him and he nodded at her. "Her name is Amy, right?"
"Yeah. Who are you?"
"I'm Derek Morgan. I work with your mother at the FBI." He held out his hand and Samantha hesitantly shook it, her eyes narrowed. "Your mother has fought a very tough battle, you know. You could cut her some slack."
Samantha shrugged, mimicking her mother. "I could. But do I want to?"
He watched Erin tighten her hold on Amy as tears rolled down her cheek. To see her so defeated after clawing her way back up from the abyss tugged at his heartstrings, and he pulled her close to him once more. "If I were you, then yes, I would want to. Life is too short, and you have no idea when people are going to be gone from your life."
"I hear that crap from my friends, Derek. Tell me something that isn't obvious."
"That bank incident in May, where your mother was at ground zero? Yeah, if those bombs had been any stronger, we wouldn't be standing here today."
"Derek, it's okay. Here, thank you for letting me hold Amy." She handed the baby back and then stepped back into his embrace, hesitantly resting her arm around his waist. "I hope I can see her again soon."
"Maybe." Some of the hostility had bled out of her voice and Erin nodded at her. They watched Samantha loaded the baby back in the stroller and wheel away from them.
Erin sighed and turned into Derek, enclosing him in a hug. He took a breath and drew in the sweet scent of her perfume, unable to focus on anything other than her. "I'm sorry, Derek, I just need a moment to ground myself."
"Take all the time you need. I'm not going anywhere today." He stroked her hair gently as she continued to hold on to him. Derek quickly found himself enjoying holding her, enjoying the way she felt in his arms. While he'd never taken the time to notice before, now he could feel and see how small she was in his embrace.
"I really want a drink," she whispered and he tightened his arms around her. "They said that this would be normal, but I didn't even have a single craving after Dave and I separated. Why does this have the power to gut me so completely?"
"She's your child and she's rejecting you. That's a betrayal that cuts to the bone." He stepped back from her and cupped her face, bringing it up so he could look into her eyes. "I wish that I could fix this."
"So do I." As she tried to smile, her lips parted and he took advantage of the opening, kissing her softly once more. "Derek?"
He shrugged, unable to come up with a reason for kissing her again. It just seemed like the right thing to do. "Do you want to go out for an early lunch?"
Her smile almost took his breath away, and she looked across the park quickly as if to hide what she was thinking from him. "I would love that, Derek." Trustingly, she slipped her hand into his and led him over to her car. "Do you think we could be friends?"
After kisses like that, she wants to be friends, he thought as he got in the passenger seat of her car. "I would really like a friend, Erin."
"Good. Because that is the first step to a relationship." Her cheeks were the brightest red he had ever seen them and he chose to bite his tongue, not sure if she could take the teasing that he put Penelope through.
"Ain't that the truth, Candy Apple." He couldn't resist giving her a nickname, though, and her smile told him that she didn't mind it. "And perhaps we could spend next Saturday in the park, too?"
"We could. I'll even bring coffee for us next time." She started her car and pulled out into traffic, not even bothering to tell him where she was taking him. Derek decided to just sit back and enjoy the ride, wherever it might lead.