Hey.

This story is part of a multi-chaptered Humour/Family fic I wrote and published almost two years ago. (Omg, 2 years ago makes me sound so veteran and experienced xD) I took it down because the Humour was becoming more and more forced and horrible in every chapter.

This was the first chapter, and the one which I think was the funniest.

If you've ever read this fanfic before, I did not plagiarize it, it was originally mine, but I deleted it and am now republishing it as a oneshot.

And it will remain a oneshot.

Until I get a sharper wit.

Much love,

Thalia Malfoy

Disclaimer: I am not the wonderful person that is J.K. Rowling.

George: "Good morning, Wizarding World! Welcome to our very first episode of Good Morning, Wizarding World!"

Fred: "That sounds repetitive, George. We might have to change the greeting."

George: "But then the name of our show wouldn't really fit would it?"

Fred: "You have a point there…"

George: *sighs* "Oh, well. Moving on, today we're interviewing Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry's student genius…"

Fred: "Albus Dumbledore!"

George: "Good morning, Albus."

Albus: "Hello, Fred. George."

George: "So how old are you, my boy?"

Albus: "I just turned sixteen."

George: "I take it you're in your sixth year in Hogwarts?"

Albus: "Yes."

Fred: "George, you're not letting me ask anything!"

George: "Okay, Fred. No need to whine like a child."

Fred: "Albus, is it true all your results in the OWLs were outstanding?"

Albus: "Yes, I was quite surprised myself."

Fred: "Did you try to reach that level or will you claim to be naturally smart?"

Albus: "Well, I do try to get good grades and I do. I sort of absorb information like a sponge and I have a photographic memory, so it's very easy for me—"

Fred: "Oh, stop bragging."

George: *sighs again* "Fred, let's be nice to the guest, shall we?"

Fred: "Very well."

George: "Okay, Albus. You're sixteen; you already know a lot of girls. Do you fancy anyone?"

Albus: "Well, not yet. I'm sort of in love with my books right now. I want to focus on my studies first."

Fred: "Merlin, that is so boring. Did you expect us to be impressed?"

George: "Fred, there is nothing wrong with focusing on your studies. And he does have to live up to his reputation as a genius."

Fred: *looks at George in shock* "George, what happened to you? You're turning into Percy!"

George: *grimacing* "There's nothing wrong with that. I just realized that we can't act like children all the time."

Fred: *muttering to himself* "Insane prat."

George: "What did you say?"

Fred: "Never mind! I'm just so proud to be your brother right now." *note sarcasm*

Albus:*shifting uncomfortably* "Um, may I go now?"

George: "No, not yet! We still have a lot of questions!"

Fred: "Okay, it says here in my file that you're full name is actually Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore. Incredibly short, isn't it?"

George: "Fred, lose the sarcasm please. But really Albus, who gave you your name?"

Albus: "It's actually a combination of my grandfathers' and great-grandfathers' names."

Fred: "They couldn't pick one and so they just put it all together?"

Albus: "Maybe."

George: "Hmmm, interesting. Maybe I should do that to my children one day, it's most creative."

Fred: "You can't be serious. How will they finish their quizzes if they have to write down a name that long?"

George: *ignores what Fred said* "Fred, it's your turn to ask questions."

Fred: "Fine. Albus, what do you plan to do once you're done with Hogwarts?"

Albus: "Well, I haven't really thought about it yet."

Fred: "Well, think fast. We're on a time limit, you know!"

George: "Fred, we're not supposed to pressure guests to answer. Albus, never mind the question. We only have time to ask a few questions, so we'll do this quick. Just answer the first thing that comes into your mind."

Albus: "I'll have to answer everything?"

Fred: "No, you git. You'll just sit there and stare at us like a blithering idiot. Why do you think we're wasting our time with you?"

George: *glares at Fred*: "Fred, the Minister told us that if we insult the guests, he'd have to cancel our show! And we've put the Weasley family name to shame enough times already!"

Fred: *stares at George in surprise* I can't understand you, George. Why are you so serious? Did you eat too much of the test materials in our shop?"

George: "No, I've just matured!" *focuses on Albus* "Okay, Albus, first question—"

*Another person that looks like Fred and George bursts in the studio*

Newly-arrived person: *glares at George*"Oi! Get off my chair!"

Fred: *looks at the newly-arrived person incredulously* "Mum never told us we were triplets! Eureka!"

Person: "Fred, you git! It's me, George! You started the very first episode without me! And with Percy, of all people!"

Fred: *looks at 'George'* "Perce?"

*Percy mutters spell to self and now really looks like Percy Weasley*

George: "See? He tied me up this morning and got my hair! Made Polyjuice Potion with it!"

Percy: "Well we can't have a show with both of you! You'll bring more shame to our family!"

George: *whimpers* "I can't believe you made me miss the first episode. The first episode!"

*Albus slowly sneaks out of the studio*

Fred: "I knew it wasn't George!"

Percy: "Of course I wasn't George. You're just an immature idiot!"

Harry (the director): "Cut!"

*He goes over the stage*

George: "What do you want, Harry? I haven't even said anything to the camera yet!"

Harry: "Sorry, time's up! But, Percy, that trick was brilliant, didn't expect it. Brilliant. This will definitely boost up the ratings!"

Fred: *grins* "Really? Harry, that's great. We owe you one."

Percy: "See? I made your show even better!"

Fred: "I'm warning you, don't ever do that again."

Percy: "Fine! Too much pressure anyway."

Harry: "How 'bout I take you all out for lunch in Diagon Alley?"

Fred: "Brilliant! I got hungry from all that drama!"

*the four walk out of the studio*

George: "The first episode! I missed the FIRST EPISODE!"