AN: This is just a sad, slightly cute one-shot that I could not get out of my head for the life of me. I've never written Fimogen before so if the characters seem slightly off or even off completely please forgive me.
She watched as the puff of smoke drifted across the empty pool until it disappeared completely into the night sky before she took another drag of her cigarette. It was unusually warm for a New York City winter night but she couldn't bring herself to enjoy it. This trip had turned out to be a complete waste of time just like she had imagined it would. It had been two days since they had received the verdict.
Her mother was gone.
She was locked away in a prison cell a long, long time and there was nothing for Fiona to do but sit and feel as completely helpless as she was.
She tried to conjurer up a good memory, or at least a half-way decent one, but all that came to mind were a flood of video calls that were short-lived and unhappy. Those calls were always filled with the crushing reality that her mother was on house arrest and had a high profile trial looming over her head. Their heads.
She crossed her arms the best she could, suddenly feeling a cold that wasn't caused by the slight breeze, but rather the aching emptiness in her gut. Her mother had always been her compass and without her she felt lost. If she were being honest she would know that she had lost her way a long time ago and had never quite regained her path, but tonight was not a night for honesty. Tonight was a night for wallowing in self pity and fear, both for her mother and herself.
She looked down at the feet she had dangling over the edge and for a moment wondered how much it would hurt to fall in.
Surely it could be no worse than the pain she was in right now. It may even distract her for a moment.
She flicked her ashes and watched them carefully until they slid down into the part of the pool that the light didn't quite reach.
She was willing to bet her mother felt a bit like those ashes today.
Sliding slowly down, grasping tightly to every particle of light until the darkness at the end consumed her entirely.
She wished Declan were there to tell her what she wanted to hear or at least comfort her in a way only he could.
He had a way with words, her brother, a way of making even the most dreadful circumstances seem better.
However, Declan wasn't there. He couldn't quite handle the sight of his sister falling apart at the seams again, so he had booked it back to his college campus to drown in his own depression alone. She couldn't say she blamed him.
She didn't hear the door slam or the stomping of Imogen's tiny feet until it was too late and she was standing directly over her shoulder.
"Fiona Celestine Arabella Coyne, do you mind telling me what the meaning of this is?" She motioned with her slim arm to the cigarette dangling between Fiona's fingertips.
"Immy, can we please fight about this another time? Please?" Fiona asked quietly without looking up at her girlfriend.
Imogen sighed at the defeat in her voice and sat down beside her on the cool concrete.
"I just worry about you is all," Imogen whispered, doing her best to choke back the quip about the toxic smoke that seemed to be invading her every pore just by sitting near the tiny cancer stick.
She risked a glance at Fiona and almost wished she hadn't. She was a wreck and it made Imogen's stomach ache and turn in an uncomfortable way to see her smart, able, beautiful girlfriend beating herself up over something she had no control over.
"The one thing my parent's money couldn't fix, huh?" She breathed out and bit off a humorless chuckle. "The only thing in the world that the Coyne name has no hold over."
Imogen turned her head away from Fiona's bitterness and swallowed all the things she wanted to say that Fiona was in no place to hear. She wanted to tell her that things would be okay, but she knew that wasn't true. She said it anyway. Either to make herself feel better or at least offer some form of comfort, but instead of agreement she was met with hostility which she had expected. That was Fiona's MO after all; when things get hard just get angry.
"You don't get it, Imogen. You have never had someone ripped out of your life," she fumed. "You don't know what it's like to have your best friend in the world taken away from you. Forever."
Imogen bit down gently on her lip to keep the tears welling up at bay. Fiona was being cruel and maybe she deserved to be, but Imogen knew she didn't deserve to be at the sharp end of her tantrum.
"I don't, Fiona? You were there the day my father was taken away from me. He doesn't even know my name anymore. Every time I go to visit him I have to remind him who I am. I have to meet him over and over again and no matter how many times I do he forgets. My dad is alive and well, but he's not mine anymore. He doesn't love me because he can't remember me anymore. I'm not saying that your mom's situation is any better, but at least you know she still loves you. She can see your face without wondering who you are and why you're there. I'm sorry, Fi, but just because you're in pain doesn't mean I don't hurt too and it doesn't give you the right to belittle my problems."
Imogen moved to stand, but Fiona touched her arm softly and guided her back down before taking another drag from her cigarette.
"I'm sorry, okay?" She said, searching her girlfriend's face for any sign of forgiveness. "I'm overwhelmed and that's not an excuse, but I just… I miss her already, you know? Before, all of this was just a horrible nightmare that wouldn't go away, but now… now it's real and I have no idea how to deal."
"Heh, that rhymed," Imogen said with a small smile and a nudge to Fiona's shoulder. "No, I get it." She said somberly, reaching over to tuck a stray curl behind Fiona's ear. "I really do."
They sat in silence for a moment which gave Fiona the time to admire just how wonderful her girlfriend was and how amazingly lucky she was to find her. Imogen was kind and sweet and the most caring person she had ever met. She was quirky and silly and her fashion sense was eclectic to say the least, but once you peeled back the layers and saw what was really underneath there was nothing and no one that came any where near to comparing to Imogen Moreno.
"Why are you smoking?" Imogen said suddenly, breaking the still silence.
"I don't know, it's a way to forget about things. I like how they always try to keep burning no matter how much you take away from them. Kind of like me, I guess."
Fiona shrugged and flicked her cigarette butt into the shallow puddle in the center of the pool.
Imogen shook her head slightly and narrowed her eyes. She placed her hand on Fiona's cheek and caressed it gently with her tiny thumb.
"Fiona Coyne, you are not a cigarette. You're a fire and no matter how the world tries to put you out I promise you I will always be here to build you back up again."
Fiona bit back a smile and leaned in to press her lips to Imogen's when Imogen pulled away suddenly and held her hands up in an attempt to keep Fiona at arms length.
"No, ma'am, no matter how breathtaking you look in this lighting that is absolutely not happening until you brush your teeth...and chew a lot of gum. A lot."
Fiona couldn't help but smile for the first time in days.
"Have I told you lately how completely in love with you I am?" She asked, causing Imogen to tap her chin in false thought.
"Hmmm… nope, better get on that. Now give me those," She said, extending her hands and waiting for Fiona to deposit the cigarette and lighter.
Fiona rolled her eyes with another smile and started to give them over, but pulled away at the last second.
"Fine, but I demand a kiss first." She raised her eyebrows playfully and leaned closer to Imogen.
"Not gonna happen," Imogen declared before hopping up and heading as fast as she could toward their hotel room.
Fiona laughed and got up to chase after her, dropping her pack of cigarettes in the process.
They lie there the rest of the night, long forgotten by the two brunettes too caught up in each other to even notice their absence.