Author's Note: Well, it's gonna be pretty angsty and stuff, but I think the subject does indicate that much! Also OOC is not to be unexpected, I forewarn thee! I tried a Grimmjow POV in a present tense, I wanted to take the most direct approach possible, dunno if it works out... Oh and if you were so kind as to review, I would immensely appreciate it!
Warnings: rape, violence, heavy language, drug use...
Disclaimer: Needless to say, not owning Bleach other than the whitening one. ^^
There's no moon tonight. Even if there was I doubt I'd be able to see it for long anyway. The cement stretches up as far as I can see and blocks my sight. I've never actually felt the night in this dump, people keep on calling a city... I catch myself dreaming on feeling nothing but the moonlight on my skin; no noise, no artificial lights, just my skin and the moonlight.
The lights and buzz in this city are so dense, I get the feeling I can touch them or raher that they touch me; at times I can feel them press on me from all directions and create this glitch in my head, that's got me thinking contradictions like "I'm here. No, I' m not."
The street smells like piss and puke and dirt, it makes my stomach turn, although I should already be used to it by now. Can someone get used to hell?
Damn these stupid self-pitying thoughts again! Sometimes I wish my head was as empty as the rest of me. Cause I'm already sure I have no soul or heart or whatever the fuck this is that makes people feel things – angry, sad, happy – I just feel hollow. And stuck.
"Hey, blue bitch, how much for a blow?"
I turn in the direction of the rough, dry voice and face a tall, broad man with the most ridiculous hair I've seen in a while; just who the hell has such long spikes with little bells attached on them? Then again, where I am and with what I do, I meet all kinds of freaks. He's wearing a sleeveless leather jacket, torn jeans and high boots, all equally black. A couple of chains hang from his spiky belt and one of his ears is covered by silver piercings.
He looks intimidating and reeks of sadism so I think twice before I answer him. I can see in his eyes – or rather in his eye since he's got a patch covering the other one - a will for dominance. He looks at me like I'm scum but with a slight smirk that gives away his desire for the product in front of him. Yeah, I know I'm nothing but a product by now. Besides if I considered myself a person I'd get frustrated, no, devastated by how others treat and use me.
"40 bucks, cause you're sexy... You won't regret it babe..."
"Haha, shit, you're a funny slut! Are you really in a position to put such a price on your dirty head hole? I can see the sweat and shaking from here, it's time for whatever it is you get high on, so cut the crap, get in the car, and blow me and my buddy for 20 bucks, before I change my mind."
He gestures towards a black jeep with dark windows. The numerous scars covering his exposed skin create a random pattern and the tattoo ink on his neck and arms disappearing under his clothes, completes the image of a surreal painting. I wonder if he is a yakuza guy or rather an actor in such a role; he's just so damn cliché it seems fake.
I know he's right though. I need my fix more than a dying man in the desert needs water. Cause every time the drugs are done I feel like dying... Know what I mean? No, you don't. Nobody knows what I mean and I feel alone.
"Well, then, I hope your friend is as hot as you..." I say in a lustful voice as I wink my eye. He lifts one eyebrow and with a 'tsk' sound walks towards the jeep, opens the door and makes a gesturing command to get in. I do so reluctantly even if I try to show the opposite.
I'm not weak. I just feel vulnerable at the moment and I know first hand there are all kinds of twisted motherfuckers ready to show how sadistic and cruel they can be and how much they don't give a shit about anyone else. Especially when they pay for it. Then they return to their loving wife like the good caring husbands they are. They disgust me. Everyone does, even myself. Damn these thoughts again! See, this is exactly what I need my dose for; to stop the fucking hell from affecting me!
I stop hesitating when I enter the car; let them use me, I won't even remember it when I get high. At least until the drugs wear off and I start wishing I was dead again. Vicious fucking circle.
The scarce light inside the car doesn't allow me to see the face of the slim figure that sits cross-legged on the scarlet leather backseats. He holds a zippo lighter in one hand which he brings close to the unlit cigarette between his lips. The flame gives me just enough time to see his features; he is rather pretty, almost like a girl and his make-up and girly shoulder length haircut complete the androgynous look. When he turns his head in my direction, two peacock-like feathers in his hair catch my attention. What is it with these people and weird hair attachments? His clothing is unexpectedly normal, just a deep red t-shirt and a pair of black skinny jeans.
His eyes meet mine and I notice dilated pupils under his heavy eyelids. He exhales the smoke to my face and smirks. The big guy gets in the driver's seat, starts the engine and immediately begins to accelerate. The guy next to me looks at me in a lewd way and licks his upper lip slowly.
"Well, that one looks like a wild stray cat, Kenny, just how I like them; I love it when you know how much a manly whore turns me on, babe! There's nothing more beautiful than turning a dominant looking man into a submissive servant... Mmm, I already imagine his face covered in our cum and I get excited by such beauty..."
"These drugs make you pretty needy Yumi, you can start if you want, I'll join you in 5'. Just don't finish too soon, you know I like to watch."
"What's your name? No actually I don't care, you'd tell me a fake one anyway. I'll call you kitty, that's good enough.. So stop staring, unbutton me and start sucking, you filthy kitten!"
He throws his cigarette from the window and immediately lights up another one. Then he turns to face me, leans his back against the door and lifting one foot onto the car seat, he spreads his legs. I know what I'm supposed to do and I focus on the money and on my fix. This will all be over soon.
I crawl between his legs and touch his crotch. I can feel he's already getting hard. I start unbuckling his pants but he slaps my hand away.
"Use your mouth, kitty"
All this bossing around gets on my nerves but I'm already inside the game; I know I have to obey the rules now. I move my face close to his waist and lift his shirt with my teeth so that my mouth is under it. As my breath touches the skin of his lower belly his light hair there stands and he takes a short breath. I flick my tongue twice over his navel but I feel a rough tug on my hair and then a sharp pain on my cheek.
"Who told you you can tease me you slut? Next time you won't do as I tell you, a slap won't be enough! Now, say you're sorry!"
"I'm sorry" I whisper and from my angry eyes, my lack of regret must be apparent, cause he chuckles.
"I like this pride of yours. Makes me wanna cum all over it. Now since you can't get a job done just open your mouth."
He has already freed his erection and is holding it in his fist. As I move closer again, I feel a tight grasp on my head and before I even part my lips he shoves his shaft in my mouth while he pushes up and holds my head down so that I swallow him to the hilt. I hear a hissing sound and then, while holding me in place, he starts bucking his hips up rapidly, fucking my throat.
"Use your tongue you pathetic kitten, no one ever told you how to suck a dick?"
He is gagging me by now, but I try to breathe from my nose and swirl my tongue around his dick.
Then I feel his hand patting my cheeks.
"Shit, hollow your cheeks more, yes, like that.. You look beautiful with my dick in your mouth, kitty. I guess it's rare to hear a compliment, so fucking hollow your cheeks more!"
My mouth and throat hurt already and my scalp feels like it's getting torn from the way he pulls my hair but I ignore it. I know this is nowhere near ending. I feel the car stopping and the door behind me open.
"You're sexy when you're bossy Yumi, I'm already hard..."
"Then get over here and fuck this guy's face too, I want to see his blue hair covered in cum, he's so useless."
The big guy pushes the front seats forward to create more space, gets in the car and sits besides me. He unbuckles his belt and jeans.
"Go suck him right now kitty. And say something, I haven't heard your voice much. Say you want your food. And then beg for it."
My stomach turns. I feel disgusted.
"I'm hungry. Please, please feed me."
I say while I look the big guy in the eye. He smirks and shoves my head on his erection.
"Then eat."
His dick is ridiculously big, I try to swallow as much as I can and as I start bobbing my head up and down, I feel the other guy getting close, When I look at his direction, I see him jerking off next to my face, the head of his dick touching my cheek.
"Moan!"
I try to do so, but with the big shaft in my mouth almost no sound comes out. I feel a strong slap on my ass.
"I told you to fucking moan slut!"
I moan louder and the sound comes out muffled, but the slim guy seems satisfied.
"More, suck him deeper and faster!"
His jerks next to my cheek become faster as well and he's making hissing sounds every now and then. He watches me intently and then he leans and kisses the other guy.
"Cum on his face for me, yeah, babe?"
The other guy groans, pulls my hair and starts pushing my head up and down his dick faster. I choke and saliva mixed with pre-cum is dripping down my chin. Then, as I feel I'm about to throw up, he pulls my head off his dick and holds it just below it. After two jerks I close my eyes and I feel thick fluid spreading on my cheeks, forehead and eyelids. Two fingers grip my chin and turn my face strongly.
"Aagh, you're so beautiful right now kitty! I'm gonna make you even more AAGH"
Sperm covers the rest of my face and hair and starts flowing down my neck. I hear panting and the wet sound of kissing. I don't want to open my eyes, but when I do I see 20 bucks getting crammed into my jeans pocket and the big guy opening the door.
"Get the fuck out."
The night is chilly, I look at my cell and it's already 3.30 a.m. After a few steps, I see a familiar looking girl with huge breasts in a tiny white top that leaves her underboobs showing, a pair of tight white shorts and fishnet covering what part of the legs is not covered by the high-heel leather white boots. She's way pretty and gets so many customers I'm sure one day she'll make a fortune and leave this place. If she stops wasting it on drugs that is.
"Oi, Nell! How's the night goin'?"
She turns her head in my direction tilting it to the side when she sees me looking like I just got licked by a cow.
"Hey, it's ok I guess, got five guys already.. You look terrible by the way, Grimm, here's some tissues, clean yourself up... Jeez, you're shaking like hell..."
"Thanks... Well, yeah I think I'll go home, I won't get anyone else the way I look right now anyway... Besides you're stealing all the business, what are my chances?"
"Hah, shut up bitch! Look, some of Aizen's lackeys are in an alley in the next block, I think your next question is answered; so have a good trip, ok?"
"Thanks, Nell... Try to keep safe. Careful. Well alive, y'know."
She smiles condescendingly and lifts her hand to sign a goodbye. I start moving, feeling my knees wobbling and I hope they don't give up before I reach my med; horsepower. I started injecting it a couple of months before and there's nothing like it. At first I smoked or snorted it, but there's nothing like the rush the instant absorption of injected heroin can offer. I scratch my arms which feel like being covered by tiny ants running up and down, up and down; shit, the feeling spreads to my chest and neck and my nails don't seem able to make it any better... I want to claw my skin off, but eventually I decide to stop, even if this itchiness is driving me insane; cause I know that soon I'll feel heaven. Where the hell are Aizen's guys?
I walk for what seems like ages before I hear voices coming from a dark alley on my left. As I go closer the voices become louder and the sounds of an ongoing fight echo through the desert road. I hide behind a dark trash bin and take my head out to see what's going on.
"Take that, you asshole! Fuckin' bastard, y'think that was for free?"
"This is for this pretty face of yours, shithead, how's that feelin' huh?"
Three guys have circled around a body that is moving less and less on the ground, hitting, kicking and stomping wherever they find flesh underneath. The fallen guy's whines and cries become fainter by the moment and I can tell he's not going to be conscious for long.
I recognize one of the guys; he's huge and his voice sounds like growls by a wild beast. Yummy or something equally pathetic for a name. The other one seems like a kid, a girl actually, so slender and short, but with a devilish grin carved on his face, distorting his features. The third one is covered mostly by the shadows; the only thing I can make out is that he has dark skin.
"You think you could escape like that? You know how much what you did cost us fucker? Oh, don't you faint now, that's where the fun begins!"
The Yammy guy barks, leans over the body on the ground and lifts the head by tugging the hair forcefully. Is this orange hair? I can't see much of the face, partly because of the darkness, partly because of the numerous trails of blood on it that give the impression that scarlet is a possible skin colour.
Well, I sure know what I'm about to watch; however I stopped playing the hero a long time ago, besides why would I give a fuck... Nobody would care for my ass as well. My stomach turns though at the sight and at the cruelty unraveling before me. I want to avert my eyes and leave, but my body and gaze seem fixed in place and I feel a wave of disgust and pity for the unknown kid. Welcome to hell orange boy.
Yammy lowers his pants and pushes his groin on the kid's bloody face. He starts thrusting violently in the kid's mouth, while the dark skinned man tears the guy's jeans down and lifts his hips up. The guy seems almost unconcious, but some faint movement of his hands in mere weak attempts to escape, give away the fact that he is still there.
Just when the dark guy forces himself deeply into the kid's ass, Yammy thrusts out of his mouth, letting an ear-splitting cry echo through the alley and pierce my ears - or is it my soul - before being muffled abruptly by Yammy's flesh. As the two violate savagely the poor kid, the third feminine guy, still wearing his never wavering grin, unbuckles his pants and starts stroking himself.
The dark-skinned guy speeds up his pace mercilessly and I can't help but wince at the thought the guy will break in half; or in pieces. And that that would probably still be better for him than having to survive the day after, to deal with a violated self.
Suddenly, Yammy jerks his head back, growling and burying himself deep into the orange-haired guy's throat, forcing him to swallow evidently. Scowling, he releases his grip on the orange hair and the head drops to the ground with a thud. Not long after, the dark skinned guy's thrusts become erratic and after a final deep one and a harsh groan, he removes himself from the abused guy letting the rest of him crumble to the ground. The short guy, still jerking off, kicks lightly the fallen body with his foot to turn him around on his back, before hissing and cumming all over his face.
"I hope that lesson's learned faggot. Don't play with the bad boys again."
After a spitting sound, I watch them slowly go away. The body on the ground is not making the slightest movement.