Deth and Found

First off all the normal disclaimers. I don't own Dethklok. Doing this for fun. I make no money off of this. Murder Scene of Love is original lyrics but I don't care about it. It's not making Money so sit back and enjoy. It's adult content. Don't like don't read.

Deth and Found
In Portland Oregon, the Death Metal Band Dethklok was getting into the Hell-o-Copter after a big show with a sold out performance. The Crystal Ballroom would never be the same again. The Revengencers sent an agent with an RPG aimed at the Copter and shot the band out of the sky. Offdensen lost an arm but his first priority was the band. He had the band air lifted to Mordland Memorial except for Skwisgarr, and Toki who were currently missing in action and presumed dead.
Murderface was set up for cyborg prosthetics, Nathan only suffered light flesh wounds from shrapnel coming from the propeller while Pickles came out completely unscathed because he was drunk at the time and thrown about like a rag doll in the accident.
In the meantime, Goose Hollow, Portland. 10:43 pm. Ermina Rhineholdt, a beauty adviser from Zupan's Pharmacy was on her way home from the night shift at Zupan's. She was all organic and the borderline of being a hippy love chick, though the thought of not shaving her armpits and legs was too much to consider. She was going to PSU for Bagua Zhang and Philosophy while trying to discover what she wanted to do with her life while slinging makeup to finicky femenazi liberals who wanted to look pretty for their lipstick lesbian Girlfriends. Living in Portland was confusing after her upbringing in the west coast. She was used to Shit Kickers and Farmland with the occasional Gang motivated drive by. All this was so fru-fru for her tastes but it was something new. Ermina was just enough thin and just enough pretty to attract a stalker or two who were disenchanted with their previous assessment that she was an easy girl and prone to dating anyone who came by.
Tonight was no different, except, one of her stalker's, Johnson Brackish, became just a bit too wise, and just slightly too bold in his decision to follow Ermina back to her 16th floor sky rise apartment overlooking the West Hills. He hadn't decided whether or not to do more than just scare her by the knowledge that he knew where she lived. His dick began to ache with the fantasized possibilities. It was dark, she was alone. It'd be so easy to kill her if he wanted. So much more to convince her that she needed him to protect her from all the crazies out there. He positioned himself in a tree in the park ad ride parking lot. He would jump on her and knock her out and then when she came to she would see, she would see how much she needed him. She started to cut across he parking lot from the train-station. She was still wearing her Zupan's uniform with the apron. He thought about how he'd strip everything ff her and do her in the apron, force her into the kitchen and make him a sandwich and give him a BJ. It would be perfect. Make her masquera run while she cried doing it too. he loved it when girls cried and smeared their whore make up. She was on the cell phone not paying attention. She was loud. Suddenly Ermina stopped dead in her tracks. One of her Trendy cute socks rolled down to the ankle of her Shoes for Crews black leather loafers. He saw her nose twitch like on Bewitched.
Johnson's eyes narrowed. There was no way. Could she smell him? he wondered. She sniffed the air like an animal weary to take another step. "Yeah I'm going through that parking lot. Can you just stay on the phone with me until I get through there?"
She was coming through, she was so close. His heartbeat quickened. This was going to happen. He was going to taste her hair and so much more. Just a little closer. She had no idea. Just a little closer. Oh you're gonna take it all stuck up little Bitch you're going to take it-
And that was the last thought that Johnson Brackish ever had as Skwisgaar Fell through that particular tree at that very moment using Johnson's body to break his fall and the back of his head as an armrest, brutally. Hard enough to go through the back of his skull and smash Johnson's nose into the pavement, and hit his own head on a cement parking stopper.
"Oh my Gawd! Stacey Get down here. Hurry. Some guy just died and another guy fell out of the tree and Oh shit he's hurt bad." Ermina said on the phone. She hung up and leaned down to the man with the head injury. "Jesus, are you okay?"
Skwisgaar just groaned with the splash of blood dripping down his face and matting his blonde hair. Ermina pocketed her cell and helped the man to his feet. He looked up at her searching her face for some recollection of who she was. He was drawing a blank. He was surprisingly light for his height. Ermina's friend Stacey came down in her Oversized t-shirt of the Deftones and a pair of dark Turquoise leggings in bare feet.
"Damn, this guy is in bad shape. Let me help I'll get the other side." She offered. "God Two in one night. What are the odds?"
"What do you mean?" Ermina asked looking passed his A-shirt to see the quarter moon face of her roommate.
"I mean outside Walgreen's I found this guy, looks like he's in a Fugue state. We're studying that in class. I never actually thought I'd get to see a case of it up close. I gave him a teddy bear he was staring at in the toy isle and he came home with me."
"Jesus, Stacey quit bringing weirdos home!"
"You're one to talk. Why we bringing this guy up then?"
"Duh, head injury. Figured with your medical expertise you could patch him up."
"Assume much?"
"You're going to class to be EMT, my bad for thinking you had the skills and know how to fix this dude."
"Oh, no. I totally do. I totally do. I can do that." Stacey nodded. Ermina thought it sounded more like a self pep talk.
"Cans yous not bes talkings. I's got a head ache." Skwisgaar complained. Ermina used her Fob to get in the double doors.
"It's settled then. If yours stays the night mine does too."
"Fine but we keep them under survailance. Which means we call in to work tomorrow and keep an eye on them tonight if we're not getting them to a hospital." Ermina reasoned.
"I totally got this." Stacey assured reaching for the elevator button.

Astrud Gilberto & Stan Getz: The Girl From Ipanema

song came on as the elevator began to move. Skwizgaar punched out the sound system.
"I's gots a headache. And that is not music, is abortion." Ermina ground her teeth wondering how much she was going to have to pay the Housing authority for that one.
"Only a little bit more to go Big guy." Ermina reassured. pulling out the key when they got to the door with the letter L on it.
The apartment smelled like college life. The smell of Litter box and urine soaked wood shavings for the rat cage. The cats came right up to investigate the new comer and glomp their owners for new fresh kitty kibbles. It was a studio apartment. On the left side were mostly Stacey's things, Empty beer bottles and empty packs of exotic cigarettes, clothing strewn about and wig pieces. The Closet was open and full of EMT uniforms, and Clean black Aprons for Zupans along with a few different pairs of shoes. There was a pile of dirty dishes next to the deep freezer and the mini fridge. A fern on the bar draping down in the othe visitor's face. Toki sat there stroking a teddy bear and looking concerned at the activity in his general area of Stacey's Memory Foam bed. On Ermina's side was an old foot locker from the fifties with army stamps from travel, inside was mostly clothing except the small shelf that she left with a klingon blade in it's sheathe, Broken laptop computer on an old candy barrel, misc polished stones and items from party lite including some very sensual smelling candles from the LUSH store. Her ed was just a queen sized air mattress for camping covered in Ty Pennington sheets and comforter tan cream and burnt orange. Her side was littered in My little pony, transformers and various discount Walgreen's make up with discount stickers on everything.
"Over to the toilet." Ermina said."Sit him down."
"I'll get the kit." Stacey announced going to the closet.
Ermina bent over in front of him. Her 57C's were barely contained by the apron and currently in Skwisgaar's line of view as she bent down and looked him in the eyes. "Do you know who you are?"
"Yes do yous know who yous is?" He answered back. Then thought a moment and admitted. "No, I's really don't...Sorry."
"Do you know what year it is?"
"2013."
"How many fingers am I holding up?"
"I's thinks maybe three?" He guessed.
"Do you know where you are?"
"In front of a FBLs."
"FBL?"
"BBW." Stacey cocked her head and corrected so Ermina would understand.
"Big Beautiful Woman?" Ermina asked not sure whether to be flattered or pissed off. She dismissed the flirting and took a wash cloth to his head injury. Stacey gave her some Ibuprofen. "Here's some Advil I'll go get you a clean cup."
Ermina found a childhood quik bunny cup and thought it would be amusing to have him drink from it. She brought it back.
"Thank you" He said acting like he was going to drink from it, dumped the water out and used it to crush the pills and do lines off her bathroom counter.
"Okay..."Ermina was at a loss. Stacey was enthusiastic. "Hardcore."
Stacey began to wrap up his head, when he tried with wandering hands. Stacey became grim faced partially flattered partially grossed out. "Ermina, your...guest is pushing it."
Ermina shrugged and said "He touches your tits again you got my permission to punch him in the face."
Ermina called her local vet who usually flirted with her to ask for advice on what to do. "Yeah, Phil. Got a head injury. No, not Snowball. Human this time. Uh huh. No his eyes aren't cloudy. Hang on Here's Stacey."
"Ow."
"She warned you."
"Thats was my nose." He complained aloud.
"I'll take over." Ermina said. "Okay. Listen. Do you have a wallet or anything?"
He patted his cargo pants to no avail.
"Of course not. And you need ID to get a hotel room. Perfect. Okay, so Phil said you just need to take some Advil and take a rest. Stacey and I will keep an eye on you in case anything should happen but you should be fine after tomorrow. If not we'll take you to the hospital. Need help up?"
"No."
"Alright, well. You've had a rough day. You can sleep in my bed."
"Ermina?" Stacey said
"I'll take the floor" She said. "It's fine. Just get some rest and we'll try and figure things out in the morning, Okay?"
She then went over to the other house guest. "And you? How are you?"

"Hn, well he's all yours I guess."
"I can't wait to get my paper done on this. I'm going to get an "A" for sure for once. Eat that Becky Schomer and your Grandma in a coma." Stacey said with satisfaction.
"I'm going to catch the news." Ermina said sitting down in front of the enormous bay window overlooking the lit up West hills. She opened the windows and could smell skunk weed wafting up to their apartment but the breeze was cool in the May night heat. On the news they were doing a slice of life piece on the Naked Bike run off of Burnside pissing off the Conservatives. When breaking news came on.
~~~"Breaking news, The Death Metal band Dethklok just succumbed to terrorist attack over the Crystal ball room today. A rocket propelled Grenade exploded when it hit their Themed Hell-o-copter, sending debris down to an unsuspecting public. 92 deaths have been confirmed over a thousand injured and currently all but two of the Members of Dethklok have been hospitalized. the other two are still Miss~~~
BOOOOM! There was a bright flash outside the window as something hit the side of the building.
"What the hell was that?!"Ermina demanded.
"Are we under attack?" Stacey asked now sharing the same expression as her friend in a Fugue state.
"Stay here I'll go check it out!" Ermina jumped off the couch and out to the hallway. Many of her neighbors were out in the hall way all asking the same questions. "What do you think it was? Are we under attack? What's going on? I bet it was H's still blowing up. Why haven't the alarms gone off? Anyone got a land line?"
"Calm down! Listen up everyone! it was a squirrel!"
"A Squirrel?"
"Huh? How do you figure?"
"A squirrel hit the power lines and blew up. It's not terrorists. Clear the hall way you're causing a fire hazard!"
Ermina went back inside shaking her head. "Huh, a squirrel I guess. weird."
Stacey was busy making out with her test subject. Ermina rolled her eyes, not about to cock block her friend she did feel just slightly envious that her bloodied guest was laid up resting off a moderate head injury. "Fuck it, I'll watch family guy."
Ermina went over and grabbed one of he hoity toidy artisan crafted Jasmine tangerine honey Pale ales. One became an eleven pack. As she started a Trigun marathon trying to give her roomie plenty of room and time to do what she does. Ermina sighed as she wasn't at all tired and hoped that drinking so much would have lent her some drowsiness. Skwisgaar slid into the seat next to her on the couch.
"This show's Dildos."
"Yeah I'm getting bored with it."
"Cans I's have one?"
"Dunno with that head injury, probably not good for you to drink..."Ermina reasoned. He reached over and polished off her beer in three seconds. "Great. Now I'm gonna need more beer. C'mon lets go"
"Where we goings?"
"Plaid Pantry. You want more beer we're getting more beer." Ermina said "But when you get your wallet back you're paying for the next round, ya got me?"
"Yes ma'ams."
"Wowee. Can yous gets me a beer too?" Said The other guy.
"Oh he speaks. Sure, I guess. Stacey you owe me."
"How do I owe you. I bought the last 24 brick"
"Fine. Dammit." Ermina said. "But I'm taking the last cigarette!"
"You don't smoke."
"I know!" Ermina grabbed the cigarette and lighter and a jacket, throwing a Nightmare before x-mas hoodie at Skwisgaar. "It'll fit. My ex gave it to me."
Skwisgaar lifted an eyebrow. "Interesting."
The two got to know one another a bit better on the walk toward downtown Portland. "Maybe the walk will jog your memory."
"I's don't know what I's can be rememberings. Or even if I's comes from this place. My accent. I's mights not be native you know?" Skwisgaar mentioned.
"Can you remember if you smoke? Like if you have a favorite brand of cigarette or something?"
"I's do smells like the smokes. But I's think there's somethings else. Smell me." He pulled her into his chest. She caught a whiff of man musk and was slightly taken aback. It'd been a while living with a female room mate. There was an estrogen coating on the walls, so one sniff and she was put off a little.
"Wait a minute. It's faint. But I smelled this before. Something like it...like jet fuel maybe...something metal. Huh. I don't know of any metal brand cigarettes though. Kinda smell like weed too, but not the skunky shit we have out here. The expensive kind they put in like Clinique Colognes."
"Ha, theys puts weed in Cologne? I's thought yous use cologne to cover that up." He chuckled.
"Maybe you make a lot of money and can afford not to care if you smell like Ganja." Ermina offered.
"That'd be nice." He stood a moment outside the Plaid pantry. "This sucks dildos. I's casnsk remembers nothin'."
"It'll come back to you." Ermina offered. Skwisgaar stood at the front of the double doors and waited like a puppy for her to come back with his hands in his pockets, not sure what to do. The lady behind the counter was old, a librarian type with the kind of lipstick that didn't suit her face. He saw strips of potato chips hanging from the isle. Lotto tickets under glass, and plastic coffee mugs with Dethklok on them. The Display said Duncan Hills Blackened Blood Coffee. Free Refill with purchase. He walked over and picked up one of Murderface.
"Hey, Ermina. This one is funny. It looks like Darse Vaders with out the helmet heh." He pointed out.
"Oh yeah, there's a ton of those left. If you want I can give it to you for a quarter. No one likes that old pervert. He needs to be in an assisted living place." Said the clerk.
"Eh, no that's okay." Skwisgaar put back the novelty item and looked over to Ermina who had a cube of Fat Tire Pale Ale.
"You hungry? Want some jerky or something?" Ermina suggested. Skwisgaar looked at the bags of Jerky and they were labeled "Real steak bites" His stomach growled for him, though upon reading real steak, he wanted real steak, not shoe leather.
"Ja, please and thank yous."
"And two of these." She added to the order and turned a moment to get out her wallet. He threw a box of condoms on top of the order, plain as day.
"Thought you're pretty slick, huh, Turbo?" Ermina teased.
"Who says deys for you?" Skwisgaar shrugged his shoulders. "I's wasn't awares you wanted the sexings. I's can oblige you. Don't worries. Yous don't needs to beg Honey."
"Oh?" Ermina's jaw dropped on the floor.
"It's for your little friend who likes to makes out with the street bums. Yous don't want tos take her to the clinic right? 'Boo hoo i's gots babies of bum in my stomach' Right?"
Ermina's eyes narrowed at his logic. "I'm sure they're fine but it's best to stay on the safe side I suppose. Quick, swipe this before he sneaks in some Lotto tickets too. Jesus."
"Uh oh?" Skwisgaar mumbled, and pulled Ermina down by the counter. A masked assailant took a machine gun and started shooting through the window. Skwisgaar pulled Ermina back by the Coke machine. The two horrified customers watched as bullets ripped through the clerk with much prejudice.
"Holy ShG#t!"
"Stay down." Skwisgaar warned.
"Don't have to tell me twice."
"Go, go go, man get the money get the money." One masked man yelled to the other.
"Dude, I shit you not right now, get over here!"
"What are you doing you dumb fuck get the money."
"I found something better!"
"What?"
"It's that dude."
"What dude."
"That one dude from that one band. The one from the news."
"I gotta see this!" Two masked men with machine guns came in and cornered Skwisgaar and Ermina.
"Holy shit that is that one dude." he one said in total disbelief.
"I got a better idea, grab the money and grab that guy."
"Nost without mys girlfriends." Skwisgaar struggled.
"Yeah whatever grab her too."
"No don't touch me, what are you-Get your hands off-" Ermina protested.
"Just goes with it honey and we'll be okay." Skwisgaar put his hands up aware that he was under arrest by these thugs.
"I sure am sorry about this . "
"You too Lady." Both of them caught the butt of a gun across the face to the point of being knocked out.
Stacey was back at the apartment enjoying the fruits of her Walgreen's shopping trip. The guy she brought home was finally asleep, culred up with her teddy bear snoring lightly. She was so jazzed up from getting some she had the after sex munchies. She decided to delve into the Honey Greek Yogurt in the fridge and snuggle up to the TV glow.
"Breaking news. We interrupt King of Queens for a Special alert Bulletin" said the announcer. Stacey went groping around for the remote.
"A violent break in at a local Plaid Pantry has left one store clerk dead and two customers reported as kidnapped. Here's footage from the local store on 10th street in Down town Portland." the Footage rolls and is very grainy. It showed Ermina with a beer and condoms and a sly smirk on her new friends face just seconds prior to the clerk being gunned down.
"Oh Shit, Mina!"
"If anyone knows the masked assailants or their victims the Portland Police department is encouraging anyone with any information to call (503) 555-2112 x 334 for any information leading to the capture and arrest of these violent criminals. Susan, back to you."
Stacey immediately called in a panic. Toki couldn't help but wake up. "That man whos was here earlies. I thinks I knows him. But, I thinks hes am a dick."
"Oh you can talk! That's excellent. From what I read Fugue states last a long time and verbal skills never really develop right away. Are you okay."
"Yeah, I just witnessed a traumatic events. I don'ts knows ifs my friends is okay though." Toki said sadly.
"Okay well what's your name, what happened? What can you remember?" Stacey asked taking out a tape recorder from her "Girl talk toy tape recorder"
"I'ms Toki. Froms Dethklok. We was in a concert and it was time to go homes or something. Not sure kindsa drunk. And then I say, Hey Pickle does that look like strap on? And Him said what are you talkings about Toki. and I's said. It looks like a big dicks in the sky coming right at us. And he says, You're drunk Toki take a nap. So I's start to take a nap and the big green penis thing hits's the Hell-o-Copter and I fall asleep like for real, I fall and I's sleeping."
"I'm with the back up guitarist for Dethklok?" Stacey said with total disbelief.
"I woulds be the fronts man but that dicks...Skwisgaar...Wowee, is Skwisgaar. He's gots kidnapped. Lets me use your phone please. I got to get the Managers"
"Sure," Stacey immediately started thinking hearts and stars and romance waiting for Toki to get off her cell phone. This guy was hot, a musician, sweet and loaded. She adjusted er bra to poof out her boobs a little more thinking "Oh my God I hope I'm pregnant like, right now. That would be awesome."
Meanwhile in Mordland, Offdensen get's Toki's phone call. Nathan Explosion is waiting over tired with his scrapes covered in bandaids. "Right we'll be right there to pick you up. Just hold tight, Toki."
"That was Toki? That little fuck is alive?" Nathan asked nervously speaking deeper to hide his concern.
"And Skwisgaar too apparantly. However it seems they are both in Portland and fine for now but Skwisgaar is currently in the wind. He's been kidnapped along with a concerned citizen trying to help him. Now we play the waiting game. The Kidnappers will no doubt want some randsom money. I just wish so much of that money wasn't diverted into Murder face's surgery."
Meanwhile in Mordland Memorial. The sounds of hospital machines beeping in the back ground as Murdeface was picking out his new body parts. "But sir, you have a completely functioning Penis, why on earth would you want it removed?"
"Two words for you Doc. Robo-Penis."
"Robo Penis?"
"That's right. I want a Robo-penis."
"Why on earth?"
"I'm getting up there with age, I just had half my body including half my mustache replaced. I'm a vulnerable sensitive guy. I want a robo penis. Plus the added side effect if someone kicks me in the duffel bags they break their foot. I want a robo penis." He said folding his arms completely set on getting a piston replacement. "And no chaffing."
The Doctor sighs and leaves the room and sees Pickle outside drinking straight from the bottle some Wild Turkey Whiskey. "Sir, are you okay?"
"Yeah, and that's the problem. I'm the only one who was okay out of that whole thing so why do I feel like crying?" Pickle couldn't reason.
"Well, there is something called Survivor's guilt. Some young men in the military and attempted murder victims get it when friends or loved ones come to harm and they have no way to protect them so essentially they develop a guilty complex from having survived."
"How do I make it stop?" Pickles whined.
"Years of therapy and medication." The doctor began but saw the look of "Bullshit" on Pickles face, and sighed again tipping up the bottle so he could imbibe more whiskey and walked off.
Meanwhile in some Drug run government housing somewhere out in the Industrial complexes of Rural Tigard Oregon Ermina woke up to the smell of hot food. She looked next to her and saw a steak take out dinner in a biodegradable take out box from the Outback Steak House. She also saw a bucket with ice and a bottle of wine at the foot of the bed and picked it up to read the label.
Cabernet Sauvignon, Francis Ford Coppola Ivory Label,
"Someone knows their wines at least. That's an awesome vintage for a Victoria Fillet." She mumbled looking at the steak spread with long French cut green beans and garlic Chive mashed potatoes.
"Erminska!" Skwisgaar announced. " You are awake!"
"Yeah. And Kidnapped, obviously."
"Such horrible words. We are Guests here Lovely. We'll get to go home soon." He smiled. "Excuse me Gentlemans. May I's have a minute with my rude Girlfriend here?"
"We'll be right outside the door." Said one of the masked men with a gun. As soon as the door closed Ermina checked the windows. They were all barred. She could barely see out to an apartment parking lot.
"Okay, so they thinks I's this Skwisgaar person. I guess very popular. I's saw the video tapes of me. Looks like me but doesn't feels likes me." He said. "Oh I's got yous a dinnersmeal."
"Thank you...whats all this stuff about Girlfriend?"
"Oh yeah. I's was scared. You seem to have your shG#t together. So I's say you're my girlsfriend and they take us together. They got ahold of the Dethklok Manager. Moneys are coming and we'll be free so as long as I's can pretends to be this guy. We will be safe. By the way do you know what this Skwisgaar guy plays exactly?"
"He's the fastest Guitarist in the world."
"Awe craps"
"What?"
"I's dontsk know how to plays the guitar. I's was hoping that you say like the Tamborine. I's thinks I could play that."
"Oh my gawd we're so fucked." Ermina said.
"Oh calm down sweedy." He cut a piece of steak for her and handed her the plastic fork. "Here, is yummy."
Ermina took the peace offering bite. Her eyes rolled back "Oh man that is really good."
"Right?" He walked over and popped the cork on the wine. She cut another piece.
"Try with this." He said handing her a glass. " He swirled the wine in his own glass taking a whiff of it."
She took the offered glass and sipped while the meat was still in her mouth. "Huh, that really makes the flavor pop. How did you know I liked rare steak?"
"I's learn new things everyday. Few hours ago I learns I murders a bad guy in a tree. a few minutes ago I's fastest guitar player in the world. Now you likes rare meat." He smiled. Turning off the light.
"What are you doing?"
"I's scared that this might me the last nights on earth if anything goes wrong, and I's just saw footage of what a lush that guy Skwisgaar is supposed to be and the combination plus goods dinner meal gots me you know."
"You really don't want to-"
"Yes, I's really do."
"No. I mean-"
"Ssshhhh." In the darkness he began to go down on her, to very little protest. She was trying to warn him of his meat references that hers was a bit more on the blue side than most men would enjoy at that time of the month. But he didn't stop. He was going to show her exactly how thankful he was. To him this might be his first and last woman ever and he was going to savor everything. His technique was enough to keep her quiet, as far as protest. Delightfully he discovered she was quite the screamer. She wriggled under the expertise of the hands of the fastest guitarist in the world.
Some time went by and the guards at the door were listening and getting off on her voice begging for more. Begging him not to stop. Finally The man in charge of the masked men had Offfdensen with him. "What are you doing, you left them in the room alone?"
"Sorry Sir. You might not want to go in there. They're getting it on."
"You perverts. get out of the way we got what we asked for now we're going to Give this guy back his guitarist."
"Indeed." Offdensen said pushing his glasses up in a lawyer type manner.
They opened the door and flipped on the light switch and for a brief second before the bulb blew everyone saw a very cannibal like murder scene with the amount of blood smeared on the walls and dripping down Skwisgaar's face. Ermina got an "Oh shit "look and grabbed two fists full of her strawberry fruit salad dessert and smeared them on her self in the bed and on Skwisgaar.
"What the hell is going on in here?"
"We had a strawberry food fight!" Ermina said innocently. Skwisgaar failed his constitution roll and blood barfed on the carpet.
"Oh, I's not feel so good." he complained.
"Alright, Lets take it to the Limo Big guy." Offdensen, looked at Ermina and shook his head with a loss for words wondering how she ever could've managed that one. He knew Skwisgaar, not even drunk was into blood play. He left all the kinky stuff to Murderface.
Ermina quietly followed and handed Skwisgaar the bottle of wine. The two kidnapped victims got in the limo and the seats were covered with towels from the mini bar. Ermina and Skwisgaar didn't talk to each other the entire trip. Toki and Stacey passed longing glances at each other. The less Skwisgaar talked to any of them the more Ermina got nervous and began chattering like crazy to Stacey.
The two made it to Mordhaus. Skwisgaar didn't say anything, and just went to go take a much needed shower. Ermina was so embarrassed but it was almost worth it as a once in a life time thing it was most worth it, but now she'd probably never see him again, except in concert footage on Youtube. Stacey and Toki however were seemingly inseparable. He looked up at the Mordhaus and squeezed her hand.
"Listen don't take this the wrong way. I's can't take you inside there. I's saw what happens with Nathan and Pickle. Yous too pretty. I's don'ts wants to share. I don'ts wants to lose yous forever."
"Oh, Toki." Stacey began to tear up.
"Listen." Toki interrupted. "I's keeping the bear but I want yous to have this."
"What's this?" Stacey saw a business card for the exclusive website for the Klokateers.
"This is the way I's get to see you whenever's I's home. You work for the Klokateers no one sees your face and we can be togethers whenever. No one in the band looks at the Klokateers." Toki smiled.
Ermina was waiting for her business card, but it never came. She just looked over to the direction Skwisgaar went as Toki kissed Stacey and got out of the Limo.
"Take these Ladies home. Miss Rhineholt, Miss Stantz. Thank you for taking such good care of our band mates. We will be in contact with you soon Miss Stantz." Offdensen said. Ermina sobbed. Stacey tried to cheer her up and acted as a consoling presence while handing her cigarettes and offering up the rest of the wine.
Skwisgaar went back but was kind of annoyed by his presence in the house. There were a bunch of faces he didn't recognize. He approached Nathan. " I's guess yous is Nathan?"
"What the Hell?"
"Looks like you get scratched up real bads."
"What's with you? Why aren't you wearing any pants?"
"Its funny things. I's don't remember where my rooms is." He admitted. Nathan grabbed a lamp off of Offdensen's desk.
"Cover that up, I'll show you where your room is."
"Is thinks I's going to needs a bigger lamp." Skwisgaar noted still wet from the shower.
"So where were you?"
"I's gots kidnapps out in Portland. Hits my head. See the scar."
"Brutal," Nathan commented. "Did you go to the hospital?"
"No, I's fells from a tree. Killed a guy, bangs my head. Some lady was a nurse and I's sleeps in her house with a street bum...That one there." He pointed to Toki as he walked by in the hall.
"Ha ha so funny." Toki said. "At least I's don't eats a lady on her lady time. You eats the tampon too?"
"You what?!" Nathan was disgusted.
"Hey, you eats Abigail after three months of cheese fish swamp sweat!"
"Yeah I did do that." Nathan quieted down.
"I's learn a catch phrase in Portland that fits. A good lesbien loves her girlfriend every day of the months."
"So you're a lesbian then?" Toki laughed.
"Traps in a mans body yeah. I's am pretty."
"Wait you said Girlfriend. You got a girlfriend?" Nathan was shocked, since Skwisgaar usually refered to women as Skanks.
"No I's Not!" Skwisgaar slammed the door to his room. "I's needs pants."
He sat on the edge of his bed and looked over athis Gibson Guitar. It seemed so forign to him but since he was able to recall that intimate bit of information about Nathan and Abigail he figured he finally was who they said he was. Now the hard part. Remembering how to play that shiny bastard.
Offdensen came to Skwisgaar's room to go over some paper work anticipating that even in his beaten state it was most likely He had sex with a lot of women and it was going to be necessary to write up some new Paternity waivers or see about a settlement with Miss Rhineholdt.
"So, just so we can get this cleared up. How many women did you have sex with while you were on "Sabbatical?" Offdensen asked licking his pen to get started.
"None."
"But you were with Miss Rhineholdt, correct?"
"Jah, Erminska."
"But you didn't have sex with her?" Offdensen was at a loss.
"Pfeh, no."
"Then, pardon me for asking. What were you doing with her in the drug den?"
"We hads Dinnersmeal. I's got her a steak. After was some dessert...for me. Not hers."
"Oh then you..."
"We had strawberry war that's it!" Skwisgaar got angry."NO sex AND I'S IS AM NOT TALK ABOUT DIS DILDOS SUBJECTS ANYMORE!"
"Alright, calm down. Is there anything you need?" Offdensen.
"I's needs to remember hows to play my guitar." He said quietly.
"Good one."
"I's not makings the ha-ha funny jokes I's is seriously not know how to play that thing." Skwisgaar covered his face in anguish.
"Ohh ho, not good." Offdensen. "Listen. I will get you the best Rehab I can."
"I's not drunk I's stupids!"
"No,no, no, I mean Physical therapy. We're going to get you back on that Gibson if it's the last thing we do."
"Or I's can haves my solo." Toki said from the hall. Skwisgaar threw a paper weight out at no one in particular.
"Shut up Toki!"
"In the mean time I think you should relax. Pick a hobby and do that for a little while. Let your memories come back to you gradually." Offdensen said. "I'll go make the preparations. In the meantime. Toki get ready for your solo."
"Wowee. I's won't steps on my cord this time." Toki ran off to his room nearly skipping down the hall way with glee.
The following week, aside from going to physical therapy, and dodging the Pshychiatrist's questions. Skwisgaar was predisposed to staying all depressed in his room. The Psychiatrist decided to give him an assignment. To write down how he felt. To write a song. It seemed more like Nathan's gig but at this point Skwisgaar was getting nervous about taking so much time out. He didn't want to be replaced like...Pickles. He just recalled the time they sent him to rehab and replaced him with a drum bot. It was only a matter of time before they replaced him with a tar-bot and made Toki the lead Guitar. Murder face had finally healed from his cybornetic implants and actually looked like the Terminator if the terminator was retarded. "Check it out guys. It's awesome. They replaced my voice box with an Auto tune. So I souuuunndd liiIIIkeee ThIIIiiiss"
"I dunno, it might not translate to Metal." Nathan said with his arms crossed, not sure he liked wat he heard.
"Are you kidding? That is the definition of Metal." Pickles argued.
"Wowee, it sounds likes you ate a robot." Toki commented.
"Nope. But My dick's like a robot, check this out. It's wee wee time."
"Put it away, man."
"No, but check it out." He pulled down his pants and where he could thrash on the base before. He sounded like he was playing an articulate Arpeggio. The men were impressed.
"Which would be awesome if you know who could do his thing. The two of you would be the fastest in the world and we'd have a new gimmik." Pickle said.
"We need to talk about our latest endorsement." Offdensen said entering the room just as the men were about ready to get into the hot tub. "KCOR, is trying a Date with the band. Where some lucky fan girl will get to go out with all of you. It's their version of the Bachelorette. Only, Metal."
"This ought to be good." Nathan said listening.
"Each night, one of you will take the young lady out for a night in or a night out. It's a date. A real one. In the end She gets $10,000 and will pick the man of her dreams. One of you. All proceeds go to the American Cancer Society. So this one is big."
"Wait, we're paying a girl $10,000 to hook up with one of us? Which hooker service is this again." Pickel insisted.
"Stop, it's for Charity. In these hard economic times, hardworking single ladies could use the extra money. And here's the kicker. If there is a love connection. If it all works out. Part of the event is an opportunity for the lucky lady to give the money to charity, on top of whatthe ACS is alread making off the proceeds. It means she loves the band member more than the money. The percieved sincerity is something the investor will just eat up."
"I'm down." Nathan shrugged.
"Yeah, me too." Said Pickle.
"I'm totally down to the ground man. sign me up for the ladies." Said Murderface.
"Toki?" Offdensen asked after a long pause. "Are you in?"
"Um..." Toki began to sweat. The Klokateer by the door nodded reassuringly. "Okay I's guess."
"It's all settled then." Offdensen said checking off everyone's name.
"I bet yous and Pickles will gets the goily." Toki laughed. "I'd puts money on it."
"Really?" Nathan thought.
"Well If we're betting I put ten K down on myself. I'm buff, metallic and awesome in bed now and sound like an angel. There's no way I'm not getting that sweet poon." Murderface said with Bravado.
"I put fifteen on me." Said Nathan.
"Yeah well I put 16k on Skwisgaar to nail her before you get a chance." Pickle said with a little venom.
"Bring it." Nathan challenged.
"Do you even Guitar, Bro?" Toki reacted, getting caughtup in the testosterone moment.
"I...don't even know what that means." Nathan admitted confused.
"Trying a new catchphrase." Toki replied.
"Oh, alright then...Then. Let the best man win." Pickle bumped knuckles with the guys.
"Oh hey, Nathan. You gots a minute?" Skwisgaar addressed holding a piece of notebook paper torn from a three ring binder.
"Yeah, Buddy what's up?" Nathan answered in a concerned tone.
"I's got this things...it's a song. I's just want your opinion on it."
"You don't write."
"I's know. I's tryings something different for my therapy or whatevers. You're right, it's crap. Never mind." Skwisgaar began to ball it up.
"Nooooo, Dude, chill out I'll read your stupid song. Just hang on." Nathan said glancing at the words anticipating total crap he started tapping his foot. "None of this is Ariosto is it?"
"No, I's was thinking bellicoso, and it'd go dun-dun dun-dun dun-dun. Likes a heartbeat." Skwisgaar said leaning in to the chorus. "And then right here would be like beh nun buh nuh nuh."
"Right, and this next part will be Doodlly do doot totototot ot dodo doot."
"Not what I's was thinkings but can still work."
Nathan got out of the hot tub and was transfixed with the new material. "I'm going to see what I can do with this. You're coming with me. This needs done now."
Toki sighed and got out too. "I'ms gonna play Polybus then. Yous over there. Klokateer. Play withs me."
Stacey in disguise came over somberly and played with her secret lover. The two incredibly happy. "So yous heard about the date?"
"Yes and it's perfect. You love me right?"
"Yes." Toki blushed a little because he thought it was pretty evident.
"I want my friend to get that date so she can hash things out with Skwisgaar. I want her to be happy, Wich I know se's totally wallowing in self pity and this is the kind of thing that'll keep her from committing suicide."
"I's didn't know was so seriouslies."
"Not yet but I've been there for a few of her break ups. Not pretty. I'm gonna go stuff the ballot box on this one. Are you with me?"
"Of course, elsker."
"I love it when you speak Norwegian to me." Stacey laughed. "Meet me in the bathroom in ten minutes or I'll start without you."
She walked away, leaving her thong in his hand. He rubbed his chin and surreptitiously pocketed the panties. "Wowee, so hot."
A few weeks later Ermina still heard nothing from Skwisgaar, and decided to start dating again. She was even more bummed out now that Stacey went to Mordhaus after getting a Job as a Klokateer. Ermina took care of her rat and the cats. She finally accepted to go out with Phil on a date. The two went to Powells books. It was going to be a wonderful evening until they began to talk about things not concerning her cat, Snowball. She was content talking about Quantum Physics and recent political rants. But as the night wore on She began to realise he was vastly more intelligent and way more educated than she was. It was depressing. Being with Skwisgaar had been better than she thought. No one trying to be more pretentious or belittling the other for not knowing. She herself had more of an excited Teacher's way about her. If someone didn't know something, she would enthusiastically spout off the reasons why what she was talking about was so interesting or amazing. Rather than "Really, I would have figured you'd've known that. Didn't they teach that in your High School?"
Ermina paid for her Blackened Blood coffee, sighed and walked off. "See you next week for Snowball's dental cleaning, Phil."
Before leaving the book Store she went down to the Orange room in the basement and glanced around at some of the interior decorating books and found some on Swedish aesthetic designs. The Book Clerk putting away returns was listening to the radio when something perked up her ears.
~that's right Klok-a-Cheers, Dethklok wants you for an exclusive band date. They're going on tour and they are giving out $10,000 and five nights of dates with each band member. You get to go to exotic far off places and dine on Fair made from Chef Pierre Dethklok's very own five star chef. All you have to do is call or write in to the studio with the catch phrase "The Klok is ticking" Be the tenth caller and you can be one of the finalists to go on a date with Dethklok. Let them teach you Who Rock!~ Contests subject to change only females may apply. No more than one winner per household per month. Games rules are subject to change and replacement prize may be added.~
"Hey, that's awesome. I'd love to get a piece of that Skwisgaar and Nathan together. I'd make a sandwich outta them heheh." Said an overly obese woman who didn't know how to wear her clothing properly for her size. Ermina felt even more depressed with the thought of Skwisgaar tapping that woman's ass and was about to go drown her sorrows in some Marscapone Gelato. The line was too long at the shop full of young couples sharing Italian sodas and having lively conversations late into the night. So she did what she always did when she was upset and self loathing. She went home and tried her hand at doing 425 push ups to some Argentinian techno music. She hoped at least the loss of calories would help her fall asleep so she wouldn't have to think about it.
At home she'd changed into her gym clothes and worked up a fine sheen to the point of collapse which is when Snowball came over and started licking the sweat off her forehead.
"Oh Snowball, I love you so much. Don't ever leave me...Great I'm talking to the cat like people. Oh man I'm gonna be the crazy cat lady if I keep this shit up." the phone began to ring her ring tone of No One By Alicia Keys. "Snowball, go get that would you?"
The little white cat just licked it's crotch instead. "Some cat you are. Can't even get my messages for me."
Snowball began hacking up a hair ball. Ermina rolled her eyes unenthusiastically. "Yay."
It was Stacey on the other line. "Oh hey Stace-"
"Shut up and listen to me."
"Okay," Ermina was shocked at her abruptness.
"Listen, I've been stuffing that ballot box. I'm in charge of who gets to go on this Dethklok date on the radio."
"Oh that's cool."
"Did you hear me? You are going on the Dethklok date. You've been a moody bitch since that whole thing with Skwisgaar. But here's the thing, so has he. Most of the time he's locked up in his room. He rarely comes out anymore since the accident. He's been writing a new song. I haven't heard it yet but what I understand it's for you."
"What? A song about me? I thought he hated me?" Ermina said.
"Well he might. I haven't seen the lyrics yet. It's exclusive to the dates. It's a private concert for Charity so a bunch of Fat cats trustfund kids are attending from the local colleges. They will unleash the new song then."
"This is seriously going to happen?"
"That's what I'm trying to tell you. If it's a bad song you can confront him, if it's good you can see him again and get your words together so you two can be together. And if not at least you get some closure."
"Thank you, Stacey." Ermina blinked and there were actual tears in her eyes."Oh? What the hell. Stacey let me call you back. Someone is trying to call from a Mordhaus area code."
"Alright see you, soon."
"Count on it." Ermina flipped her phone over to the other line. "Hello?"
"Miss Rhineholdt?"
"Mr. Offdensen?"
"Yes. Well congradulations. I thought I'd personally call you to let you know you are a finalist in the Date with the Band contest. We'll need you to come down to the Rose quarter Convention Center tomorrow at eight PM sharp. And you will need this pass code to get in passed the security to get to the finalists tent. there's just a few legal mattes we need to address overthe phone if you have a moment. May I record your answers?"
"Ah, sure." Ermina felt like she was getting caught in a lie. there was a bit of anxiety on her part. Stacey always pulled through but now she was going to see the whole band for real.
The next day at the convention center the sun was going down giving the sky an odd bloodlike glow of dusk. She brought her back pack and wore all black. Her makeup and jewelry were all understated, dark but not black as many of the raging fans. She'd spent the entire day researching everything se could get her hands on related to Dethklok, just incase there was a test. As much as she liked Dethklok, she wasn't obsessed. She could listen to other things like The Puppini sisters, Gorillaz and Erika Badu. The closest thing to any regular metal she listened to was old Tool albums and once in a while some Cradle of Filth whom she loved the lyrics but the style could've been more melodic. The last Concert she'd even been to was H.I.M. What she understood of Dethklok was that the primary listening base was old truckers from the 70's and redneck nazi types. And guys who were way too ragey to be Emo, as the metal turned soft in these later years.
The other contestants were varied. There was a fat grandma, a woman who looked like Felicia Day with Slayer carved into her forehead, and goth black hair. There was a 21 yearold who looked fourteen and had a hell of a beer gut. There was one woman who looked like Cheryl Hawker, big and mean and no way on earth was she straight. Ermina had an insensitive Gaydar but this woman put it to full tilt. There were a set of older twins in their mid forties, and the other three were college students, one black, one asian, and one who looked like she was from Russia and incredibly fit.
"Ladies. Thank you for being here today. We have a set of trials as it were for the ten of you to accomplish. Who ever can make it through the physical portion, quiz portion, and finally the endurance portion. Is going home with $10,000 and out on a date with our five available bachelors. First, You'll get dirty for the boys by getting the keys in the mud pit. there are only six keys. You've all signed waivers so if you do any damage make sure it's enough to count. Next, you'll take the key and enter the vat of pigs blood. The first one to come out with five baby fetal pigs is the winner. Make sure you get all five and we'll have bacon on the grill. Next you'll take a prison shower. Fully clothed of course but we have 30 hardened felons who haven't experienced the scent of a woman in at least 15 years. If you can get passed them you're in the home stretch. You will have a quiz testing your band knowledge. Who ever can get the answers in correctly wins. If we have a tie. One of our band members will come down and give the tie breaker question. Be ready for anything ladies. Are you ready?"
"Yeah!" The ladies all called out, the crowd roared ready to see the Dethklok games. The band was nowhere in sight but the roadies had the instruments and equipment set up. Ermina was honestly scared. What had she gotten herself into? She wondered. Everything felt like it was going in slow motion. The music was all the tribute bands opening for Dethklok which made hardcore fans blood boil. Mud was flung about. Immediately the girl who looked fourteen started the violence, victimizing the grandma lady and stomping on her back. Ermina and the Slayer lover made a slide right into the mud doing a wide spread grab for keys. There was an understanding that they didn't have to take eachother out yet. No one went after the big lumberjack woman, and she was easily able to obtain a key without much trouble. The black lady got mud in her hair and walked off cussing because she got dirty. The Russian girl took on the twins and got stabbed in the kidney by the 14 yearold. In the end of that round it was the Asian chick, Ermina, the Dike, the Slayer Chick and the Fourteen yearold. The last key wasn't found.
The Slayer Chick was first into the pigs blood, followed by Ermina and the Asian Chick, the Dike and the Beer gut. This time Slayer Chick,and Asian chick took out beer gut, being wise to her tricks, revealing she had a razor blade. She swam about in the blood, luckily it turns out fetal pigs only float a little from the bottom of the vat given their little bit of back fat. Ermina was lucky not to have to actually bite them and was able to whip them into her her basket from the vat. She got down to her very last one and the dike pulled it out of her bloody hands. Ermina stood up in the waist high blood.
"Give it here Bertha. You're not fooling anyone. You don't even like dick." Ermina taunted.
"And you're not a real fan." She barked out of her bulldogish cheeks. "I like the music, I have every album and every collector's mug. I bought Skwisgaar's Swiss army taur. You don't belong here, twinkle toes. I'll be damned if I let a weasel like you get passed me."
"Shit, woman." Ermina gritted her teeth and went after the Asian chick, holding her down in the blood and drowning her. Sometimes people have a weight advantage she thought. She wretled away the razor blade and went after the Dike in her way. Physically keeping her from making her fetal pig quota. "We don't need to fight. They're here for a show right? Let's give'em a show!"
Ermina waded over to the dike and started full on tongue kissing her. Big Bertha dropped her guard and Ermina cut her hand holding te pig's umbilical cord and then knicked her neck making her bleed out arterial spray. She tried to pull herself to the stage but instead of covering her wounds the big woman grabbed at Ermina, intending to drown her in the pig blood too if it was the last thing she did. A quick slash to the face ended that idea. Finally the Slayer chick and Ermina were the only two who made it to the stage. Both completely exhausted.
"You're not done ladies, but it seems you get a two minute shower sans the felons. It seems we've had a case of food poisoning. No one eat from the Kraft Service table." The announcer said. "Good job the two of you are the most brutal metal Babes in the business!"
More cheering from the crowd. Ermina was dizzy. She knew she was out of shape but not by how much. Her arms and legs didn't want to work after all that. But she could seethe Slayer Chick was just fine and it pushed her to soldier on, doing a fake jog to the shower room. Ermina washed the blood off her face and arms and glanced across to the other woman, she actually took her clothes off for more whoops from the crowd. She was trying for the popular vote. Ermina wanted to give up. How could she compete with that she thought. She rested her head against the porcelain tiles and closed her eyes for just a moment. Suddenly she smelled something, strong, like shit and aftershave. The smell of tooth powder. The kind they used in prison. The only way she knew was from the birthday gifts she got from her brother from prison. They had the same smell. She opened her eyes and staring back a her was a hungry looking Indian man with a shaved head,a lot of Tattoos but the bushiest eyebrows ever.
"Shit!" She fell back, prone and tried to scramble back. She looked over to the other girl. "look out!"
"Two of the guys grabbed the other girl and nearly tore her apart, grabbing at her tits and with their hands down her pants. They covered her mouth and pulled her off the set. Screaming and Bleeding. Ermina's mind raced and a new shot of endorphins kicked in. She used the wet porcelain to her advantage. The man was stumling to get her. She imagined roller derby which she'd never actually done but had helped coach a team for a while, and saw how the women she coached jetizen themselves into their opponents and used that leverage to bolt nearly the whole way to the exit.
"Stop him!" She screamed bolting to the nearest security guard's arms. Security subdued the inmates. Ermina was trembling. The announcer came up with his cheesy smile and said "Looks like a few got loose. Oops our bad, Right? Looks like we have only one contestant making it to round three."
"What the fuck!?" Ermina screamed at him grabbing his suit. "Those women died in there! That pretty little thing just got herself raped and molested. What the hell is wrong with you?!"
"A die hard fan needs to be quick on her feet."
"It's bullshit!" She gritted her teeth and her knuckles went white.
"But they signed a waiver." He choked out
"Fuck your paperwork!"
The announcer began to sweat, and glanced up to the judges box. "Oh we have a wave in from our judges. Hang on folks...They say...they say due to there only being one contestant left. She's the winner. No need for a third round. Ermina Rhineholdt wins!"
"Damn straight. Fucking Lunatic. How the fuck is this legal?" Ermina bitched. Two of security ushered Ermina up to the judges box.
She was still soaked in diluted mud and pig blood dripping up the stairs.. She was given a fluffy towel to dry up. Offdensen was there in the office. "Congradulations Miss Rhineholdt. As agreed. We recognise your trials weren't easy. As promised. $10,000. Feel free to use our limo to go where ever you need to. The salon, get a massage, something nice to wear. Your first date begins the same time tomorrow. Feel free to stay for the show. Though I'd advise against the Kraft service table. We're having Pizza delivered."
Ermina was too tired to argue. She slumped down in the seat next to Offdensen, eyes bloodshot from the trials. She reached for a beer waiting in a bucket of ice.
"You do realise," He added. "Those trials were set up so no one was meant to survive you know."
Ermina looked at him and lifted an eyebrow. "Then why?"
"We...I had to make sure."
"Of what?"
"I have a theory. I think you have more of a role in Skwisgaar's rehabilitation than you think."
"Interesting theory. And why the trials then?"
"You got to be stronger than him."
"Why?"
"He breaks women. Mentally. It takes a high amount of vigilance, endurance and determination to be with him that many women just do not possess. You might be the first in his life. Question is, are you willing?"
"Do you think I honestly just did all that for shits and giggles?" Ermina was deadpan in her response.
"I was hoping that would be your answer." Offdensen said calling on his phone. "Bring him in."
Two Klokateers knocked on Skwisgaar's room door. "Sir, Mr Offdensen said you need to come with us."
"Whys for? You got Guitar bot to take my place. I's going back to bed."
"It's important, Sir."
"Pfeh, FAAN." He grabbed his guitar and walked out shirtless. And was ushered into the Limo post haste.
The Fans were roaring over the sound of the feed back from the sub woofers and amplifiers. They chanted for Dethklok. The lights got dark and the music began with the canned robot noises in accompaniment to the original song set. There were boos over the crowd for the first three songs. Toki tried his solo, which quieted the crowd somewhat but still sounded a little souless.
"You s don'tsk push me!" Skwisgarr yelled on his mic they wrapped around him. The spot light fell on him. He began to sweat. He felt like a deer in headlights. His Guitar was rapped around him, he was plugged in but had the longest brain fart ever.
"Dude?" Nathan Chided.
"Dude, Play something." Pickle mouthed the words, but he could only hear his heartbeat in his ears. It was all over for him.
"Gaar!" he heard a familiar female voice but who? he wondered. "Skwisgaar! Play!"
He panned over the crowd and looked up toward Offdensen. It was Ermina. She was cheering him on. His hands trembled over the chords. Then he remembered how mad he was at her for tricking him, how horney he was because he wanted more. The conflict flowed smoothly though his fingers strumming out the song he wrote. Nathan caught on immediately. He'd have to bust Skwisgaars chops for it later but right now they were finally able to get him to perform and that's all that mattered to a room of screaming fans.

Murder Scene ( Of Love)
by Michelle Rene
She's an angel compared to me
She fits just like a glove
Without a warning I will come
To the murder Scene of Love

Mur-der scene of Love
She rises at my touch
It's that time of the month
I take my unholy spear
And plunge it in her side
It beats right there
Her heart she can-not hide

Cuz it's a mur-der scene of love
I plunge deep from up above
My sword from her sheath
As she screams and writhes beneath
She loves her master's touch
In darkness she will gush
The fire is just too much
I'll war-hammer my love to dust
At the Murder Scene
Murder Scene
Murder Scene of Love.

"Guess that answers that question, eh?" Stacey in full Klokateer uniform nudged her.
"Not really." Ermina frowned.
"What do you mean?"
"Should I extrapolate that from that song he loves me but wants me dead, or he wants me dead but thinks I'm hot?"
"Uh..." Stacey shrugged. "Good luck with that one."