A/N: Written in 2005 and the first story I ever posted on livejournal (I made a bit of a pig's ear out of the posting and spent a sleepless night trying to find out how to delete it before running away and hiding under my bed. Aah, good days).
How Ron Learned To Love Crookshanks
Fucking cat.
It would be one fucking dead cat if he ever got his hands on it. Leading him into the Forbidden Forest.
Ron determinedly ignored the little voice at the back of his head that was trying to attract his attention.
Stupid, fat furball.
Why did it have to run in here of all places?
The little voice was jumping up and down and waving its hands at him.
Of all the stupid bastard things to do. To run after a cat - into the Forbidden Forest - in the dark.
Ugly, mangy moggy.
The little voice was jumping, waving and shouting loudly now.
"Oh for fucks sake shut up! I know! I know! If I hadn't kicked the stupid thing then it wouldn't have ran off in the first place and I wouldn't have felt obliged to bring it back before Hermione missed it. There, happy now?"
He stopped walking and leant against the nearest tree.
"I only kicked the stupid thing 'cos it was using my leg as a scratching post," he mumbled to himself. "It's always had it in for me that bloody cat. Wouldn't surprise me if it was hiding behind a tree laughing at me right now."
Sure enough, at that exact moment Ron could have sworn he heard a snigger behind him. He started walking again. Fucking fog was really beginning to freak him out. Oh yes, did he mention that? Stupid cat had led him into the Forbidden Forest - in the dark - during a thick fog. Oh yeah, that was one fucking dead cat.
Ron was lost. And trying very hard not to panic; but it wasn't easy. He really, really hated fog, always had. It freaked him out; left him feeling smothered, as if all his senses had suddenly been rendered impotent. He was blind and alone; it scared him witless. Truth was Ron had two phobias - spiders and fog. And here he was lost in an impenetrable mist, in the middle of a forest inhabited by hundreds of giant spiders. He felt like vomiting. He stopped walking and leant against another tree.
God, he loved trees.
"Calm down, Ron. Deep breaths." The sound of his own voice helped to stave off the panic. "It's only a bit of fog. Don't think of spiders. No spiders. Think good thoughts - dead cats, dead cats."
Gradually his breathing evened out. Panic attack over - for now - Ron knew that he would have to start moving again. But where? He had no clue which direction would lead him out of the forest and which would lead him further in. At any moment he could stumble upon centaurs, thestrals or - or - breathe Ron,breathe - Aragog's lovely family.
Shit. Shit. Shit.
Not for the first time, Ron berated himself for failing to bring his wand with him. Merlin, when was he ever going to learn? You'd think after all this time and all the shit he'd had to deal with in the last seven years that he would have known to take his wand with him. Fuck, he was going to tape it to his forehead when he got back.
He'd give anything not to be here. Anything - all his chocolate frog cards, the snitch he'd been given after helping to win the House Cup in fifth year, his Prefects badge. Not that the badge meant much to him anyway.
Oh for fuck's sake, Ron, you're probably going to be eaten by giant spiders, I think it might be okay to admit the truth.
"Oh, okay. You can't have my Prefect's badge," he shouted into the mist.
Ron started to laugh, slightly hysterically. He realised that he'd just said that out loud. Not that it mattered. Who was going to hear him? Oh yeah, homicidal man-horses, enormous arachnids and whatever else Hagrid had allowed to inhabit the Forest. Hagrid. The man who had raised Aragog. Who thought Norbert the dragon was 'adorable', that 'Fluffy' was an appropriate name for a ferocious, three-headed dog, and assigned carnivorous books as study aids.
Oh good, that was alright then. Nothing to worry about. He could feel another panic attack threatening.
"Talk Ron. That's it. Keep talking." It did seem to help calm him and well, there was no one for miles to hear him. Well, apart from…
Fuck, don't start that again.
"It's fine. Everything's fine. Just walk, Ron. One foot in front of the other. It will be fine. As long as you're moving. A moving target is better than a stationary one." He started shaking his head vigorously. "Shut up! Shut up! No targets! No one is a target. And there are definitely no spiders. Uh Uh, NO spiders. Oh shit I feel sick again."
He paused with his hands in his hair. "Distraction, need a distraction. Think about something else, anything else." Taking a deep breath he continued walking.
"Wonder what Harry's doing now?" Feeling slightly calmer Ron smiled. "He's probably wondering where I am. I was supposed to meet him at least an hour ago. He wouldn't believe it if he knew. This would be the last place he'd expect to find me."
Peering through the mist that seemed to be settling more thickly around him, Ron shook his head slowly. "Especially on a night like this. Not when he knows my two biggest fears. Only person who does. Not even the rest of the family know about the fog thing. Spiders, well I think most people know about that by now. But only Harry knows about the fog."
He paused again. "Wish he was here. He'd know what to do. Actually I wish anyone was here. I'd kiss them! Yep, I would." He was nodding now, "male, female, non-Ron eating animal...I'd bloody snog the lot just to have someone else here with me."
Another pause, then a snort, "Except Malfoy, of course. Well, I do have some standards." Ron sniggered but it was very forced. He stopped walking and flinched. He could have sworn he'd heard something breathing far too close.
"Fuck!" Ron gulped, shivering as he glared fiercely, trying to penetrate the gloom that surrounded him. "Okay, okay," he forced a laugh, on the cusp of hysteria, "I'd even kiss Malfoy."
Oh shit! There was definitely something breathing heavily very close behind him.
"I'd kiss Malfoy, daddy Malfoy and bleeding Dobby if only someone was here. Merlin, I'd do anything they wanted if only there was someone else here right now."
He started to walk quicker.
Please, let me be going in the right direction, he thought deperately.
All Ron could think about were hairy arms. Long, hairy arms lowering around his neck, brushing his face. He stopped, panting for breath. He hadn't even realised he'd started to run.
Fuck, he wanted to cry.
"What a wimp. Harry wouldn't cry just because of a little fog. Merlin, he'd faced off against Voldemort. Fog would be light relief for Harry. I don't know how he puts up with me."
Oh fuck it! He jumped about a foot. Something had snorted loudly behind him. Ron started to move again, a new sense of urgency spurring him on.
"Keep talking, Ron - it might think you're too mental to eat. Okay, so where was I? Oh yeah, being a wimp. Why did I have to be afraid of spiders? Bloody twins, all their fault. Though now that I think about it, wouldn't it make more sense to be afraid of teddy bears? Oh, nice going, Ron. Great idea - let's develop a new phobia why don't we. Just what I need - a fear of giant teddy bears leaping out the fog at me."
He startled at a sudden sound behind him. "Didn't hear a snigger. Didn't hear anything."
Pausing, Ron rested against a tree. Taking a deep breath, he tried to calm himself and started walking again.
"I wonder what Malfoy would do if I did kiss him? Woah! Where did that come from?" He stopped walking. "Self-preservation mate. Remember you're trying to distract yourself?" He nodded slowly. "Well, that would do it."
Moving again Ron continued. "Okay, as long as it's merely a diversionary tactic - he'd probably faint. Or vomit. Ha, might be worth it then."
He pursed his lips in thought. "Mind you, Harry would probably faint too. Hermione would probably launch into a lecture on technique. Snape would kill me."
He paused again, contemplating kissing the greasy haired Potions master. "Well, he'd try but I would have already topped myself. McGonagall would _" Ron grimaced, "eew, what am I thinking?"
Distraction remember?
"Fuck distraction! I'd rather think about spiders!"
This fog was really fucking with his senses because for one mad minute there, Ron really thought that someone or something had just giggled.
Fucking great, he thought, I'm being followed by a hungry, homicidal, giggling beastie thing.
He started to snigger. He was actually starting to feel better about this whole situation.
So, it was rather unfortunate that something chose that moment to press up against his back. Then, Ron felt arms reaching around him and hands were covering his eyes.
Oh shit.
Hot breath puffed against Ron's clammy neck and a soft voice whispered into his ear, "Guess who?"
Ron couldn't speak, couldn't move. Part of him was relieved that the something appeared to be human. Another part of him was just overcome with sheer terror at being touched.
"Don't know?" The voice asked, warm breath sending strange sensations tingling down Ron's spine. "I'm hurt."
Ron's breathing began to slow to a normal rate. He began to feel less endangered. Possibly. Maybe. There was something worryingly familiar about that voice.
"Sorry to disappoint you, Weasel, but daddy and Dobby couldn't make it..."
Malfoy! Oh, fucking fantastic. Giant spiders, fog and now Draco bleeding Malfoy.
The hands were still covering his eyes.
"Guess yet, Weaselbee?"
Ron didn't know what to do. A first for him. Usually "Malfoy" and "response to" was a given - Malfoy - bastard - pummel to death. See? Easy. But well the truth was that Ron was so relieved to have someone else, even the Ferret, there with him that a part of him - and he wasn't about to admit which part - was tempted to carry out his earlier offer. Ron wasn't too perturbed by that - after all he had even considered kissing Harry and Snape under similar circumstances; it was obviously just an extreme response to his phobia-induced hysteria.
Malfoy shifted closer and whispered, "I claim my reward. And I promise I won't faint or vomit."
Ron frowned. "Reward? What reward?"
"Oh, I think you know."
Ron frowned. What did he have that Malfoy could possibly want?
Hands dropped from his eyes and cold air rushed into the space left by the Slytherin's retreating body.
Ron panicked. "Please don't leave. I'll do anything - just don't leave."
Malfoy was in front of him now but still close enough that Ron could feel warm breath ghosting across his face. Malfoy moved closer. Ron stepped back.
"Define anything," Malfoy said with a sly smile.
Ron was beginning to think giant spiders and giggling beastie things wouldn't be so bad. Wait a minute. Giggling? And all at once it hit him. What a bastard.
"That was you - you - git." Ron took a step toward Malfoy.
"Excuse me, Weasley?" The blond still looked highly amused.
"Giggling," Ron answered. "That was you. You utter total bastard. You've been following me and listening all this time."
"What can I say, Ronald," the Slytherin shrugged, "you were rather amusing at times. I mean homicidal teddy bears? And snogging McGonagall? Merlin, your therapist - if you could afford one - would have a field day."
Ron took another step towards the other boy. "You git! You've been here all this time and didn't let me know. How could you do that to me?" He knew he sounded more hurt than angry but he couldn't help it.
Malfoy hadn't stepped back and now he took a step closer. Leaning forward his voice devoid of all malice he spoke softly, "I don't know," he whispered. "Seeing you, looking at you like this, I honestly don't know how I could have stayed concealed for so long. And I'm sorry I did."
Ron flinched and moved away. The intensity in the other boys eyes and voice were scaring him. He took a deep breath and tried to sound calm. "Look, Malfoy, why don't we just concentrate on finding a way out of here?"
But Malfoy responded with an almost feral grin and moved up against him, hands splayed on Ron's chest.
"Oh, I couldn't possibly," he drawled into Ron's stunned face. "Not until I have my reward...after all you promised."
Ron tried to step away again only to find his back up against a tree.
God, he hated trees.
"What promise? I don't know what you're talking about." Ron licked his dry lips.
Malfoy drew closer still, eyes trained on Ron's mouth which was now inches from his. Then, he raised his head to look into Ron's eyes and slowly, very slowly licked his own lips and leaned in further.
Having nowhere else to go, Ron found himself breathing in to reduce the distance between their bodies.
"Oh, I think you do." Malfoy's voice was low, sending a myriad of chills down a variety of places on Ron's body and Ron found himself closing his eyes instinctively.
"I am so fucked."
"Not yet, Weaselbee."
Oh hell, he'd just said that out loud again. Maybe therapy wasn't such a bad idea after all.
Something else suddenly occurred to him - fuck, what did Malfoy mean by "yet"?
"Sssh." A soft whisper, a gentle hand stroking slow circles on his chest, a thumb lightly caressing his cheek. "It's okay breathe. Just breathe."
Eyes still closed Ron's breathing slowed to the sound of the voice. The hand stilled and rested on him; a warm spot in the cold fog. Concentrating on that warmth Ron leaned into it. One breath. Two. Ron opened his eyes and found himself staring into Malfoy's eyes.
"Okay now?" All teasing had gone from the other boy's voice.
Ron nodded. Nothing to be scared of here. No spiders. No fog. He felt hands on his chest again but that was okay because they weren't long, hairy, spider legs. He felt hot air against his lips. That was okay too.
"I claim my kiss, Ron."
And warm lips pressed against his. Again he was drawn towards the warmth. A tongue reached out and touched his lips. Teeth nipped teasingly. And Ron lost himself. His mouth opened to the Slytherin, who wasted no time in making himself familiar with all of it. Their tongues danced slowly against each other as their lips pressed closer.
Draco, taking advantage of Weasley's obvious distraction, slipped one hand under the tatty jumper to the warm skin beneath, while his other hand caressed the soft hair at the nape of Weasley's neck.
Draco smiled into the kiss; his impulse to follow the other boy into the Forest was certainly paying off.