A/N: Well, I've just seen the Narnia movie, which prompted me to reread the books, which I realized I hadn't read in ages. So here's the product of that. I'm thinking about writing a oneshot from everybody's point of view (all the Pevensie's I mean). So please read and review.
Idiot. He had to go and wander off. Does he even realize what he's doing, how selfish he's being, running off like this, in someplace we know nothing about? If he does know, he's a little beast for doing it, and if he doesn't, he's an idiot. Either way, when I catch up with him, I'm going to kill him.
If he's not dead already.
That's what Susan thinks, that he's dead. She's being very calm and logical about it, saying things like "well if you look at it logically" and "use your head Peter." Skirting the issue, not saying it aloud, but thinking it. And as the oldest, I suppose I ought to be "using my head." But occasionally, that proves a bit difficult.
This is my fault. I should have watched out for him more. I should have been watching out for all of them more. I'm the oldest. I'm supposed to be able to look out for them. Maybe that ought to be Susan. People always call her "sensible" or "logical" or say that she's got a "good head on her shoulders." I suppose they say those things about me too, sometimes, but about her, they mean it just a bit more, and that bit seems to make all the difference. I suppose if Susan had her way, she would have turned us around the minute we'd come into Narnia and taken us back home. But I saw an adventure, and a responsibility.
So she didn't have her way, and now this is on my shoulders.
Mr. Beaver thinks Edmund's a traitor. He probably is, the little rotter. But that's partly my fault to I guess. I suppose I shouldn't have been so hard on him. Well I know I shouldn't have. But I didn't think anything like this would happen. Back when I was hard on him, we were just kids, fooling about and making fun of each other, not future monarchs of a magical land, fulfillers of a prophecy. Just kids. No one could have known that we'd go through the back of a wardrobe and into someplace like this? Narnia. And not just Narnia but a Narnia at war. A Narnia with an opportunity for...treachery. I couldn't know that - no one could. I may be the oldest, but that doesn't make me old.
I try to be, for Susan and Lucy - old that is. Well, grown up I mean. And that makes Susan think I'm trying to be bossy or like dad. I'm not exactly. I'm just trying to make sure I don't "misplace" anyone else.
People used to look at Edmund and me and see an older brother and a younger brother. Dad used to tell me Ed was jealous of me, Mum used to say he looked up to me. I used to think neither was true, I used to get mad at him. Really mad. Because he was being a little prat, and nasty to people. I'm not sure that was my right. But I did it anyway, and now he's run off, betrayed us to the White Witch. I just hope I can get to him in time.
Because that's the rub - no matter what Susan says, or how many times she tells me to look at the situation logically, I refuse to believe he's dead. Because he can't be dead before I get the chance to save him. I owe that to him, and to everyone else. I owe it to myself too I suppose, but more than anything, I owe it to him. There are times when he was at that nasty school he went to when he could have used my help, or my advice, or just a compliment, and I didn't give it to him - I was to hard on him. So I owe it to him to rescue him, no matter what the logical, sensible, calm, odds are.
I'm the oldest, and I'm going to look after Susan and Lucy, and I'm going to bring us all to this Aslan. And once we get there, I'm going to help save Edmund. I don't know how yet, and I don't know what it'll take. But I'm going to do it.
He's an idiot, but he's my brother, and he's not the only idiot in the family. Maybe we can all cure our idiocy. But we'll do it together.
A/N: Um, did that come out as if Peter's jealous of Susan? Because I don't really think he is, and if that's how it sounded, please let me know? Other than that, please let me know what you thought! Thanks!