A/N: No warnings. Just Sebastian being obnoxious and some domestic fluff.
"Are you ever coming to bed?" Sebastian asks, turning the page of his book without looking up as Kurt fusses with his nightly moisturizing ritual.
"I don't see why you always ask that," Kurt says, patting at his chin with a cotton ball, "since I take just as long getting ready every single night."
"Nope," Sebastian says, slipping his bookmark into his book and setting it down on the bedside dresser. "You take three and a half seconds longer progressively every night, I'm sure of it."
Kurt turns and looks at his boyfriend with an eyebrow raised, but Sebastian only stares back with his own raised eyebrow and his signature smug grin fixed firmly on his lips.
"Okay, Captain Anal Retentive," Kurt says, rising from his vanity and approaching the bed, "I'll start seven seconds earlier tomorrow night. How's that?"
"That's all I ask," Sebastian says, rolling over on his side as Kurt slides under the covers, preparing to wrap his boyfriend up in his arms.
What he doesn't expect is to come face to face with Kurt as he stares at Sebastian with an amused grin dancing on his lips.
"Uh, is there something wrong, babe?" Sebastian asks when Kurt doesn't roll over.
"No," Kurt says, "I just thought I'd be the big spoon tonight."
"Uh…no, you see, I'm always the big spoon," Sebastian says, putting a hand to Kurt's hip and trying to roll him over.
"I know you are," Kurt says, not budging an inch. "That's why this would fall under the category of trying something different."
"I don't like different," Sebastian says, trying harder to push Kurt over.
"Really?" Kurt holds tight to the blankets to keep from being forced on his side. "What about that position you wanted to try yesterday?"
"That's different," Sebastian says, finally giving up with a frustrated sigh at his stubborn boyfriend.
"And why is that different?"
"Because that's sex. You're always supposed to do something different when you have sex. But sleeping positions, that's life, and in life you don't change a good thing if it works."
"Well, I want to try something different," Kurt pouts, not really serious with his anger. "I'm 50% of this relationship, and I think I should have some say in the sleeping arrangements."
"You do have some say, babe," Sebastian coos condescendingly. "You sleep on that side and I sleep on this side."
"But…but I've always slept on this side," Kurt whines, "and you've always slept on that side!"
"And see how well that's working out for us?" Sebastian asks, sure that he's found victory.
"Seb," Kurt whimpers, employing the one thing in his arsenal he knows will win Sebastian over. Whatever Sebastian is, he's a sucker when Kurt calls him by his pet name.
"Kurt," Sebastian whimpers back, "I like holding you, that's all."
"And I like being held," Kurt says, putting a hand to Sebastian's shoulder and rolling him easily onto his side, "but I want to hold you, too, sometimes."
"Ugh…" Sebastian groans. "Fine. We'll try it for tonight…but just one night, right?"
"That's all I ask," Kurt says, rolling his eyes. "Thank you ever so much for your generosity."
"Hey," Sebastian says, looking over his shoulder as Kurt settles in around him, "anytime."
"Yeah, yeah," Kurt grumbles, wrapping his arms around Sebastian's body. Kurt sighs as Sebastian attempts to relax, but some parts of him remain rigid. "Now, isn't this nice?"
Sebastian snuggles back awkwardly into Kurt's embrace.
"Yeah," he agrees. "Yeah, I guess this is kind of nice."
Kurt smiles and drops a kiss on top of Sebastian's head. He shuts his eyes, relaxing into the warmth of his boyfriend in his arms.
They lay like this in the dark, the clock in the kitchen ticking off the seconds loudly, echoing through the entire loft.
Kurt's smile fades. He takes a deep breath.
"You're not feeling this, are you?" Kurt asks.
"Nope," Sebastian admits quickly.
Kurt sighs again – his signal of defeat.
"Well, at least I gave it a try," Sebastian argues, slipping out of Kurt's embrace and climbing over him, wrapping Kurt up in his arms and holding him tight.
"Yeah," Kurt says, shaking his head, "for all of three and a half seconds."