Dear Katniss,
How to start, huh, brainless? Should I reminisce about those memories we shared, those plans we made, how you make… made me feel? A storm rages inside and everywhere I ghosts and shadows embrace my soul. It's not a loving embrace though, no. It's more like the embrace of a constrictor snake gives you before you lungs pack up and all you can think of are the silhouettes of your past.
Shall I talk about the green forests of your eyes, the pronounced ridges of your cheekbones? Or how about how it felt so right to be with you, how we made each other forget the pains, the tortures of our pasts?
Every time we touched warmth flooded through my veins and soaked into my bones, you were my radiant sun. Even now I am imagining tracing light whispers of patterns across your skin, imagining your eyes fluttering closed and that sharp intake of breath…
I need you here Katniss. I need you here to feel again, to paint a pretty picture with my mind, to make the colours come alive before me, to make everything stop changing.
You should see how long my hair has grown now, brainless! It looks like a long, dark wave rippling down my back. It's nowhere near as pretty as your jet black hair though, so luscious, thick and shimmering…
It must seem so unfair for me to write to you when I'm the one constantly moving, yet say I miss you. But, I just can't help it. I ache to be with you.
I heard that you've been searching for me, and I just don't understand. I've been mulling it over in my mind for a while now, just why, Katniss? I left you. I know I shouldn't have, but I was so scared, so so scared to trust you truly and wholly. I knew I had to leave sooner or later, and I decided that sooner would lessen your pain somewhat. It sounds so pretentious when I say it like that but I just couldn't bear the thought of me being the source of your pain, your suffering.
I'm so sorry Katniss; you have to know that, you just have to. I love you. I said it, wow. This must be what it feels like to have the armour guarding your soul stripped off you; mine has been secured firmly ever since the capitol took me away.
I think I'm finally ready Katniss, after all of this time, I think I've finally found what I've been searching for desperately. It's you brainless, you. I've been trying to make myself worthy of you, to be a better person so that I can protect you, comfort you, inspire you, encourage you.
I think I'm coming home Katniss. Home. It feels just so good to say that.
I love you Katniss.
Yours,
Johanna.

Johanna set down the biro she had been scrawling her letter out with on the crumpled, smudged lined paper.
I hope brainless can read it, fuck.
The muscles in her hand hurt from the strain of writing for so long, but it was a worthwhile pain. A hint of a smile played at her lips, reading the letter through several times until she set it down onto the worn desk. Rays of sunlight shone into the room and through the glass of water just next the letter, reflecting pretty shapes of light onto the pattern. Johanna lightly placed her fingertips on the patterns, tracing them into her memory.
She looked around at all of the crumpled balls of paper tossed angrily around the room, failed attempts of getting her feelings down onto paper. Johanna scooped them all up in her arms and dropped them into the bin, casting a last glance around the room and deeming the area clean. She grabbed an envelope out of one of the desks drawers and wrote Katniss' address in her neatest handwriting so it would at least get there. She grabbed her keys and jacket, letter in hand, and headed out the door, locking it behind her. She almost ran to the letter box and shoved it in there, grinning for the first time in a while. She closed her eyes, long, dark eyelashes brushing against her cheeks as she thought of a silent prayer for the letter's safe journey to her love.