Man, this was born out of a number of reasons 1, I miss Life. Seriously, its like my heart has been ripped out and trodden on by a stampede of elephants. Okay, I know I know, that was way dramatic.
2. I love Damian Lewis and Sarah Shahi so much and their characterisations of Charlie Crews and Dani Reese and by god if fanfic is the only way I get to experience and enjoy them again, then voila, out comes fanfic. and 3. there really isn't enough fanfic out there so I thought I'd add to the pile :) (the very small pile hmph)
there will be five chapters of this particular fic. each one detailing a moment post-one where Reese wanted to spill the beans on her feelings for our boy. 3
Disclaimer : I do not own Life, or any of the characters in this fic. I am simply using them to help ease my broken heart that we'll get no season three of Life - I'm still nursing the pain even after all these months! I hope I'm not alone
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FIVE TIMES DANI REESE WANTED TO SAY 'I LOVE YOU' The Revelation
CHAPTER ONE
Bodner had taken her away. He had grabbed hold of her, as she stood paralysed on the spot, lead her to the car and she had not protested – too shocked over what had just happened.
Dani leant her head against the glass window, and watched the trees of the grove blurr together in a mixture of colours. She was saved... free from the fear, the horror of being in the clutches of such a man. She still felt sick remembering the way Roman had looked at her, that cruel sneer that constantly seemed to be on his face.
She was saved, but he wasn't, and that meant that she felt no relief, no warmth, no joy at being rescued. How could she... knowing what Charlie Crews had done so simply...For her.
When she had seen him, and they had walked towards each other, there had been a strange fluttering in her heart. It wasn't unpleasant, but it was tainted with feelings of pain because she knew this revelation had come at such a time that it very well could have been the last time she'd ever lay eyes on him. Her chest ached, and she found that she couldn't catch her breath.
"Crews", her voice was not strong like it normally was, it did not hold that bitter edge that it always seemed to, her voice came out in a whisper, choked and filled with regret and panic. Panic, not just because of what lay ahead for her partner, but because of the revelation. It was burning inside her and she would have cast such a feeling away in disgust at any other time. But she found as they walked closer towards each other, so close that if she could just ... reach out, she'd feel the warmth of his skin against hers - she could not dispel the feelings – no matter how overwhelming they were.
"Just breathe" he whispered back. As usual ,his voice was calm and held a serene quality – it might be something akin to....acceptance. Whether it was acceptance about his current predicament or he understood just as she had – the complexity of their relationship. It was deeper than either of them had expected and she saw, as their eyes met, dark and light- yin and yang – that he had seen her panic and tried to help her through it.
And now, she was sitting as a helpless...and hopeless passenger with the same feeling inside – only now the panic was replaced with gnawing regret and despair. He was gone.... he was with them... and there was a big chance that he was already dead.
Dead... gone... dust.... empty. She'd be alone.
There was that panic again as the words reverberated in her skull....She'd be alone!
Who else did she have? Her life, that which had felt empty for so long – had changed. The Change had been so subtle that it was bearly even noticble when sometimes she found herself actually smiling, when she found herself warm instead of the ever present cold that she had felt inside. But now she saw it all, and she could lie and say that it was because time had healed her wounded heart, or because finally she was in a semi-healthy relationship with a man rather than just nameless – faceless one night stands. But she knew the change was not because of Tidwell, as much as she hoped it could be. So quickly Crews had become apart of her life and by god had she tried to fight it and deny it all she wanted but he was...everything.'He's gone' she thought
"Stop!" she whispered, so quiet that Bodner didn't even hear her. She managed to raise her voice – but she could not hide the slight hint of hysteria in her tone.
"Stop!" Bodner glanced at her, a frown inbetween his brows.
"Go back... now!" she ordered desperately "We have to go back"
She wasn't thinking clearly and on some level she knew this – even if they went back, he'd still be gone. She couldn't help but imagine his limp and lifeless body dumped on some random street corner, broken and bloody.
But then she saw him, as they drove, the sunlight lighting his red hair and pale skin up like a lantern. He was bright – and so beautiful and – She gasped – there was that feeling again.
She remembered the very first day she had met him, he had asked her a question.
Anyone ever love you that much?A small smile spread out across her mouth, she could not stop it – and she saw in the soft – calm smile that marred his own face – that perhaps she might be able to answer that question with a yes.
Someday...
She got out of the car so fast that it had barely even stopped. The small smile had turned into a full grin and it was ridiculous because she was not a 'grin' person but at this perfect moment she just didn't care!
She walked towards him, stopping when they were only inches from each other. Still there was no touching – the wall was not broken. They did not touch – ever. That was Dani's fault probably – the unspoken no touching rule which Crews had mostly followed without question. When they had both reached out to touch each other, their fingers barely brushing – it had been like a cruel joke. Never touching – Dani Reese and Charlie Crews – but always so very close.
She could have slapped herself, they were close enough now, for her to just...lean in and rest her body on his, to reach out and touch his face but still she did not move. The grin disappeared.
"Hello" he said simply, the small smile was still there on his face.
His simple word had her heart ache, he said it so simply....like the fact that he had just risked his own life for her was really no big deal. Oh, but it was – to her.
Her eyes watered, and she cursed herself, because she was still Dani Reese and she did not cry. Especially not in front of people, even more so, not in front of people who were currently eyeing her so intensly.
She forced a small smile on her lips
"Hey" she replied, her voice strained.
His blue eyes ran over her features, seemingly looking for something. They were so close and she wanted to touch him so much, but still she did not move, and neither did he.
"You okay?" he asked.
'No – not at all' she wanted to say, but she smiled tightly and much to her chagrin, she felt a tear on the verge of spilling over and down her cheek. She felt vulnerable and she hated it.
"I'm okay. You okay?" she asked.
He smiled softly and gave a curt nod "I'm okay" he said repeating her words.
It was on the tip of her tongue, just waiting to come out – the revelation. How easy and quickly it would be to say and in a way she knew that the respone would not be bad. But she still could not say the words and she wondered if she'd ever be able to say them.... to anyone. Was she really that broken? she wondered idly.
Then there was warmth and a pleasant tingling sensation radiating from her hand and up her arm. She looked down to see a pale hand gently holding her own. She looked up and saw him, he was not smiling anymore but he was looking at her just as intensly.
"I'm glad that you're...okay" he said. His words filled with so much meaning.
Say it "I.." say it!! "I'm glad that you're okay too". Coward.
His only respone was a smile.
TBC ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
i really hope you like it. I tried to make it subtle... because I always like those fics the best :)
chapter two will be up soon.
R&R