For the upright will live in the land,
but the wicked will be torn from it.

-Proverbs 2:21

1878

Indian Territory, US

I was not of right mind when I came to.

My head and eyes ached; everything was distorted around the edges, and I was in a sort of uncommon, giddy mood. I rubbed my eyes but it did not relieve a thing. My feet were exorbitantly cold, and my hair was stuck across my face, dried from some sort of perspiration. I was a case of malaise, drifting in and out of consciousness. At certain moments, I swore there was a traffic of people weaving in and out through the room, but it was probably inaccurate. When I finally awoke, my first thought was on my grand adventure and the final outcome of it.

The gravity of the week's events hit me like a roaring train.

An elderly woman in a pink frock and apron carefully tiptoed into my room. Seeing that I was awake, she offered me a stranger's smile. "Would you like a glass of tea, Miss Ross?"

I shook my head gingerly. "Am I in right mind?" The room seemed to sway. I did not like it.

The plump lady stood beside me and squinted her eyes. "I do believe so, you're lucky as mud." She placed the tray on my table and gazed at me real close. "If it's the sudden uplift in mood, I best judge it is the painkillers or the handsome man awaiting you downstairs.

My lawyer. I heaved a sigh of relief.

"No, Miss. I do believe he is a Texas Ranger."

I sat up in bed abruptly despite of myself. The lady looked at me strangely. I did not pay mind.

"Where is Rooster Cogburn?" I demanded.

"He headed on down to Texarkana, just this morning in the early hours." She explained. "Are you sure you wouldn't like a little tea?"

I assured her I would not.

"He went on down to attend a hearing or something judicial of the decree- left you a whole four dollars."

"And the man downstairs?" I asked quickly. My forehead was beaded with sweat for reasons unknown. I was secretly furious. He had abandoned me?

"Yes dear, the man showed up today. I do believe he is here to take you on home."

Home. Home. I glanced at my stub of an arm. This would not go over well with Mother. I pictured the horror in her eyes. I could see Victoria, Little Frank. They would not understand that all things come with a price.

"You may dismiss him, I will get along fine by myself."

She chuckled softly. "An unwise decision, Miss Ross- "

"Why is that?"

"You are in quite a delicate state."

I looked her squarely in the face. "My arm is gone."

The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away. It was not my good arm. Things might have been worse. I might have been dead instead, and then arms or legs would make no difference.

"Will you stay another day to recover?" The woman asked. I shook my head.

"Fine then, I will prepare your things."

She helped me place my calico dress over my head and through my arms. She assisted me in braiding my hair- one long braid this time, right down the back. I felt like an infant.

"It suits you." She said quietly. I sniffed.

Downstairs, the ranger LaBoeuf was waiting for me in one of the chairs in the foyer. He did not look well. A lack of sleep and a lack of nourishment can make even the finest men look ghastly. He grinned weakly when he saw me.

"Hidy."

I did not move.

The doctor who had performed the amputation was an Italian named Dr. Vestucci. He left a vial of medicine and a small note with LaBoeuf. It was all very grim and I did not like it. The Innkeeper gave us each a biscuit and charged me half the money Cogburn had left. I paid up front and we were sent on our way.

LaBoeuf hitched me on the dead man's horse and did not speak. I assumed at the very least that he was exhausted and in pain.

"You are quiet today, Mr. LaBoeuf. I do say I prefer it that way." I tested the waters. He did not reply. "Do you know why Cogburn has retreated to Texarkana?"

"I am not sure." LaBoeuf admitted. "Perhaps he has interests there."

We rode along in silence. The day was promising- it had been a frosty morning, but the sun was peeking out behind the clouds and everything would soon melt away.

"It was kind of you to return." I observed.

"It's a Ranger's duty to see to the weak."

"I will not be pitied."

He chuckled. "I would not be one to pity you, Mattie Ross."

We approached a small river, using a wooden barge to cross it. It was nice to not have to direct one's horse through icy ravines. I had taken it for granted. I realized the great amount of balance it took to ride one handedly. The ranger made it look too simple.

"I assume you are to take me back to Fort Smith."

He gazed up at the sky. "Preposterous. I will direct you to Yell County. We should make it there in a day." He faced me. "I am an excellent navigator, after all."

"It is not a difficult art, this region." I shot back. "You will take me to Fort Smith and leave me with the horse- it is best that way."

"I must disagree. You will get yourself in trouble."

I dug my heels into the horse's girth and halted him. LeBoeuf took a moment and stopped to look at me.

"Have I not proved my worth?" I asked. "I have overcome many things, and yet you treat me with such offenses!"

"You are mistaken." He replied, pulling me ahead. "I care for your welfare. You may have been fine two handed, but with such a handicap, it will be difficult to make it back."

I studied him. "What's your design?"

"To see you safe."
"Safe? What do you know of safe? I've killed a man." Was my reply to that. The Ranger was off-guard. We rode on. An injustice. The only men a woman should trust are preachers and Bible salesmen. And even among those chosen few- there are exceptions.

Again, how easy it would be to refuse him if not for those bright blue eyes. I shook the silly thought from my head, focusing again on the rhythm of the clay-reddish horse that trotted beneath me. I set my good hand on the reigns, grasping the withers and holding myself up. My braid was already coming undone. The lady at the inn had no good instruction on hair braiding- it was to be done tightly- stiff and straight.

I suddenly remembered the reward money for Chaney.

"LaBoeuf."

"Yes, ma'am?"
"Is the deal still honored?"

I could picture his puzzled face."What's that?"
"Your deal with Cogburn." I specified. "Are you still planning to pursue the large cash sum bequeathed to his undertaker?"

"Cogburn has taken the body, I have no use of it."

"You are foolish!"

"Haw-haw. You are mistaken."

Bewildered, I begged him elaborate. He explained that the senator, Bibbs' family would "bequeath" him whatever was necessary for his grievances-plus interest. I was short of shocked. It was an admirable, noble thing for him to do. He would, in turn, leave Cogburn the lump of the reward. Quite the chivalrous move. I did not expose such opinions to him.

"I still think you are a fool for escorting me all the way home." I said.

Once in Fort Smith, we purchased a few supplies. We journeyed east. Riding past the Monarch Boardinghouse, and the stables and Lee's general store, I noticed the town had not been the same since I had left. Although the small oxford style buildings stood, gallant, it could not be the same. It must have been the way the light hit everything. Perhaps people are not so innocent once they ride out into the unknown country to avenge their father's death. How things did change.

"Time gets away from us." I said under my breath. LaBoeuf nodded in agreement.

I once heard some folklore that plainly stated that traveling east is unnatural. It shortens time. The sun was moving away from us at a despicable pace, and I cursed it; the moon was rising quick. It possessed the luster of a yellow saucer, low in the winter sky.

"What day is it?" I asked.

LaBoeuf thought for a long moment. "If I'm not mistaken, it is January the twelfth."

"Truly?"
"Truly."

I bit my lip.

It was my birthday.

I was fifteen years old.