In Dean's experience, kissing came first, then sex, and that was it. He usually left town right after. It was all twisted around now. Dean and Cas had gone through so much together. Betrayal and loyalty, friendship, battles with physical beings as well as their own feelings. But on that night, as they sat with each other on the trunk of the Impala, battered and bloody, and tired beyond all belief, saying it was still one of the hardest things Dean had pushed himself to do. And yet, once he had said it, he felt light.
"Hey Cas…." Dean barely looked at the angel by his side, glancing around on the pretense of checking on the sleeping form of Sam in the back seat of the Impala. Cas tilted his head, giving Dean his full and very intense attention, but not speaking, waiting for the hunter to finish.
"I uh…" Dean cleared his throat. "I think… I love you." He couldn't look at Cas, he half expected the angel to vanish, or to smite him. Instead, he felt a pressure on his shoulder and heard a smile in Cas' voice. "I think I love you too, Dean." Dean finally looked up and met Castiel's eyes, cracking a smile at the angel's expression.
There were more smiles after that, and more touches. Soft touches on arms and shoulders, on each other's waists or backs under the pretense of moving around the kitchen of the bunker. Fingers caressing hands, lingering for far too long as Cas passed Dean a book, or Dean handed Cas his morning coffee. It was slow, and it was perfect.
The first time they kissed, it was Dean's doing. One month and three cases after the battle, after they admitted what they felt for each other, Dean awoke in the middle of the night and went to the library. This was sort of a routine for him, awake from a bad dream, go to the library, listen to music and have a drink of scotch. Of course, he could have listened to the record player in his room, but that would have disturbed Sam, and as his little brother had pulled three allnighters in a row, researching for their last case, he didn't want to disturb him. As Dean lowered the cover on the record player, he neglected to hear the slight shuffle of feet as Cas came up beside him, and, turning, came face to face with the angel. Now, this was a feeling he had before, but he had never wanted to admit to himself what it was. Desire. Of the many times he had faced Cas at this close a proximity, each time he felt this little squirm in his stomach, and now the squirm was more like butterflies and his mind was blank. Dean hadn't been ready to kiss Cas before this, still getting used to touching another man in such an intimate way… But Cas wasn't a man. He wasn't even human. He was just… Cas.
Dean placed a hand on Cas' shoulder like he had done countless times before, but instead of looking into the angels eyes for a few minutes, then pulling away, he leaned forward and pressed a kiss to Cas' lips. It was a wonderful feeling. Castiel's lips were warm and gentle, and he smiled slightly as Dean stepped closer, slipping a hand into his angel's dark and messy hair. After a minute or so, they broke apart, both blushing and smiling. And then, after another short kiss, went to their separate bedrooms.
Cas initiated the next kiss. And the one after that. As it turned out, Cas loved kissing Dean as much as Dean loved kissing Cas. Maybe more so. From that night on, they shared quiet kisses in the stolen moments when Sam left the kitchen or library for a moment. When they sat outside on the Impala. Before bed. Passing each other in the hall, or when taking their turn to use the shower (Dean loved running his fingers through Cas' wet hair). Sam didn't know about their new pastime until one day, when in a moment of exhilaration while researching a particularly difficult case, Castiel grabbed Dean and kissed him. Dean, of course, spluttered, looking at Sam for a reaction. Sam merely snorted and rolled his eyes, finally having proof of what he suspected, and then warned them not to make out or have sex on the library tables, or he'd invite stray dogs to live in the Impala. Dean laughed it off, assuring Sam that they wouldn't, and also that he'd shave off Sam's hair if he let another dog in his car.
Dean laughed it off, but he couldn't stop thinking about it.
Like the kissing, Dean had thought about sex with Cas before. Of course he had. Dean loved sex, and he loved Cas, and sex was just another step in a growing relationship like theirs. But of course, Dean had only been with women. And despite reminding himself that Cas was Cas, a being that he loved, and that it didn't matter if he was inexperienced, because Cas was too, Dean was still nervous. He was always used to knowing his stuff. Knowing exactly where to touch or to kiss to evoke a reaction. But again, this was women. Cas, however, did seem pleased with whatever Dean did, whether it was caressing his cheek, gripping his hair when their kisses became more than just pecks, biting the angel's lip… Castiel liked it because it was new and it was Dean.
And so Dean thought about it, as he had the kissing, getting more and more used to, and desirous of the idea. He found himself pushing farther in their kisses, getting to the point of pulling the angel onto his lap, and taking off both of their shirts; hands moving over Cas' skin and shivering as the angel moaned at his touch.
As Castiel straddled his hips, fingers grasping at Dean's short hair, Dean's fingers moved over Cas' stomach and hips, straying to the waistband of his pants… Like the kiss, Dean knew he was ready and looked into Castiel's blue eyes. "Cas…" His words trailed off in a moan as Cas kissed down his neck, breath and lips hot on his skin. "Hey… Are you okay with where this is headed?" Cas looked up, tilting his head for a moment, then nodding. "Yes, I am. I love you very much, Dean. Making love to you would be very agreeable." Dean grinned at this. Despite the many human traits that Castiel had picked up while living with the Winchesters, he still maintained that strange way of talking. Dean loved it. They settled into one another again, bodies heating and movements becoming more passionate. Dean's fingers shook slightly as he unbuttoned Cas' pants and pulled them off his hips, turning to settle the angel on his bed before pulling them all the way off, doing the same with his own. They were slow, simply getting used to the idea, the feelings, taking the time to caress and kiss and just… enjoy. They were both trembling slightly as Cas pulled off Dean's boxers, then his own, letting them fall to the floor. Dean looked down at him, gaze moving over every curve and angle of Cas' body, smiling as he caught the angel's gaze. Slowly they moved their hands over each other, Cas letting out a soft laugh when goosebumps appeared on Dean's arms as he ran a hand down the hunter's chest.
Nearly 20 years of knowing only a woman's body, Dean was curious when it came to Castiel, who had body not unlike his own (and Dean certainly had experience pleasing himself) but there was still the fact that it was an entirely new experience.
Cas was unsure as well. He had, of course, watched that pornographic film, and remembered a bit of it… But as Dean pointed out whenever they watched a movie, that was fiction, this was real life, and much more complicated.
They explored each others bodies slowly, learning. Fingers moving over skin and hair, lips parted to let out soft moans and murmurs, words of longing.
Neither of them seemed ready to take the "plunge" so to speak. Dean had settled himself between Castiel's legs, holding himself up on his knees and forearms. Cas was the one to let his hand slide down between Dean's hipbones, and he smiled as Dean moaned, hips immediately tipping towards Cas' hand. Dean felt the smile on Cas' lips as they kissed, raising an eyebrow and reaching down to grip the angel, moving his hand slowly, lips curving in a smile as Cas moaned out. After a few minutes of this, Dean's legs grew shaky and he settled better over Cas until their hips and stomachs were pressed together. Dean couldn't help canting his hips, the movement engrained in him from years of practice, moaning low as a shock of pleasure went through him. Castiel's hips tipped up to press harder against his, hand slipped between their bodies and gripping the burning curve of muscle. After a moment of moving, and of assuring that neither of them would be rubbed raw, they settled into an agreeable position.
Dean had to admit that this was unusual. But in the most pleasant way possible. His and Cas' hands were laced together, their bodies moving in a rhythmic push and pull, the heat of them pressed flush together. Another new sensation, as he had only handled himself. His body shivered in pleasure, unable to keep his hips from thrusting faster, eager for more pleasure, and he loved the reaction of Cas' loud moan. He opened his eyes to watch the angel beneath him, watch how his lips quivered and his eyes squeezed shut. Their movements sped up as the pleasure grew in intensity, moans becoming louder.
"Dean," Cas panted, wavering at the brink. "Dean, close your eyes."
Dean's breath was rough and fast, almost not hearing Cas over the pleasure coursing through his body. "Wh-what? What do you—"
"Close your eyes!" Dean closed his eyes tight, and suddenly a pure white light burst from Castiel's skin. His head was tipped back in ecstasy, body tense and shaking, a low moan escaping his lips and suddenly he relaxed. Dean opened his eyes to see the light fading from Cas' skin, unconsciously reaching up to touch the pale glow of his cheek.
"That was incredible." Cas' eyes were closed, breath already slowing. Dean was still staring at him. "Cas…what just happened?" Cas opened his eyes, tilting his head slightly. "Dean, I believe it is obvious what just happened." Dean glanced down at their bodies, pressed close, then back into Cas' eyes. "No, I mean, I know what happened, but…you just went all glowy." Cas nodded. "My grace. I do not know quite why myself, as I have never done this before, but—" His words were cut off as Dean kissed him, moving his lips against the angel's for a few moments before pulling back and smiling. "That was actually kind of beautiful. Makes discreet sex an impossibility, but all the same…" Castiel smiled up at Dean, then tilted his head as Dean sat up, retrieving tissues to clean the mess off of their stomachs, chests, and hands. When he had finished, he lay down beside Cas, looking into his eyes. "How do you feel?" Cas sighed, smiling again. "Content." He kissed Dean's hand as it caressed his cheek. "… satisfied. Loved. And you, Dean?" Dean yawned. "Tired…. and loved." They smiled at each other again, kissing one another gently before tipping their foreheads together, relaxed and warm in each other's embrace.
Eventually Dean would turn out the light, pull the blankets over their bodies, and bid Cas good night.
Eventually Cas would do a rather human thing and fall into a sort of sleep, nose nuzzled into Dean's neck.
Eventually, this would become a nightly thing, and it would progress and grow.
But at that moment, they shared each other's warmth, listened to the other's heart beats, shared soft kisses…