Mari & Ilna: What can I say? I'm enjoying this adventure every bit as much as I was on day one. Maybe more.
REAL Worlders-thanks for all the enthusiastic support. You guys are the best.
Setting an Example (1/1)
Joan sat quietly at the dining room table, hunched over her Discovery Kids toy laptop, staring intently at the screen.
"This is very important, Daddy," she said to Aaron who sat across from her. "I'm taking a test. You need to be very quiet."
Aaron smiled as he put his finger to his lips in the international sign of 'Shhhh'.
From where he was positioned he could see into the living room where Mary was perched nervously at her desk, tapping away on her real laptop, taking the final that would complete the coursework on her two summer classes.
When Mary first started taking classes Aaron had offered to set up her desk/study area in a quiet corner of their bedroom but after a lot of thought Mary decided she'd rather have it in the living room. She was excited at the prospect of going back to school and getting her degree, but she didn't want it to be something that isolated her from her family. When she needed complete quiet she could steal away to their bedroom or the back yard but for her day to day coursework she preferred to remain present for her husband and daughter.
To Joan's credit, she'd been pretty good about keeping the distractions to a minimum during "school time". She would often get a pile of books and sit on the couch "studying" while Mary poured over text books. Other times she would quietly watch a movie in the playroom.
She had her moments, as did all children her age, when she just needed her mother's attention no matter what and during those times Mary would push her books aside and focus on her daughter. The thought of getting a degree meant the world to her but not as much as the health and happiness and her family.
For the most part though, Mary had enjoyed the full cooperation of both her husband and her daughter as she pursued this new endeavor. Whenever Mary needed to devote a little extra time to a school project Aaron was happy to step in and do whatever was necessary to fill in the gaps. During Mary's regular Thursday night Skype study session with several classmates Aaron and Joan would enjoy a daddy/daughter night at the movies or the local ice cream shop.
Almost every time Joan would puff her chest out proudly and inform the waitress or the ticket taker that her mommy was at home studying very hard because she wanted to get a degree so she could help people keep from falling down in cracks.
"Falling through the cracks," Aaron would correct with a smile. "She's studying to be a social worker."
"My mommy is gonna help people," Joan would say confidently.
Aaron was broken out of his reverie by Mary's jubilant cry of "I'm finished!"
Joan threw her hands in the air. "Me too!"
"How'd you do?" Aaron asked them both.
Joan looked at her mother.
"I actually think I did pretty good," Mary said, her voice holding just a hint of surprise. "I didn't have to guess at anything."
"Me too," Joan smiled. "I guess that's because we studied really hard and did all our homework, right?"
"Right!" Mary lifted Joan into her arms and kissed her cheek.
Aaron smiled. "Hey, what do you say I take my two favorite test takers out for ice cream?"
"YAY!" Joan and Mary squealed in unison. "Let's go!"
"To tell you the truth I was pretty surprised how well I knew the material," Mary said to Catherine over Skype after they returned home from getting ice cream.
"I knew you'd do well." Catherine beamed. "You've been working so hard all summer."
"I did good on my test too," Joan reported with an ice cream covered face. She was headed off to get a bath but wasn't going to miss a chance to talk to Cousin Angie first.
"Aaaah baaah eeeee!" Angie said from her mother's lap.
"When I start school in the fall Mama and me are gonna do our work together," Joan said excitedly. "I got a new backpack and new crayons and a pencil box."
"That's great," Catherine said. "Make sure to send me some pictures."
"You're not old enough to go to school yet, Cousin Angie," Joan said, "but when you are you have to study hard and get good grades because school is important."
"That's right," Mary agreed. "But sleep is also important, so you need to get your bath and into bed."
"I can have three stories though, right?" Joan asked. "Because we're still celebrating our good tests?"
"Yes," Mary nodded. "Three stories."
"OK, Daddy, let's go," Joan said. "Night night, Cousin Angie. I hope I see you soon!"
Catherine helped Angie wave bye bye and once Joan disappeared from the screen the toddler was quickly distracted and squirmed until Catherine put her down.
"I guess I see where I rate," Mary chuckled.
"Don't take it personally." Catherine shook her head. "Now that Angie is mobile Steve is checking all the baby proofing again from her level and she wants to see what's going on with him."
"Let me give you one piece of advice," Mary said. "Whatever drawer you plan on keeping the permanent markers in, move them one higher. Trust me."
"Duly noted." Catherine grinned. "So, what are you gonna do with all your spare time now that you have no classes for a few weeks?"
Mary snorted. "Mostly catch up on laundry. Plus, Joan is very excited about going back to school shopping because this year we both need new school clothes. I can't believe she's going to all-day kindergarten already. I also can't believe I'm going to be sitting in real college classrooms with people half my age."
"You're gonna do great," Catherine said confidently.
"I hope you're right." Mary bit her lip. "I really liked my summer courses, and I think I did good in both of them, but they were basic courses. Things are gonna get a lot harder come September."
Catherine's attention was captured momentarily by Angie as she attempted to climb onto Steve's back as he got onto his hands and knees to check some cords. After seeing him turn over and lift a giggling Angie into the air she turned her attention back to Mary. "You need to stop selling yourself short. Nobody gave you a spot in college. You earned it. There's not a doubt in my mind you'll do great."
Mary's eyes glistened. "I just don't want to disappoint anybody. Aaron's family, you guys, Aunt Deb, Aaron … and mostly Joan. I've had other plans in my life that didn't work out the way I expected."
"Mary, listen to me." Even across an ocean Mary could see the sincerity in Catherine's eyes. "That girl that you used to be, the one who was floundering, that's not who you are anymore. She still lives inside you, and you still carry the lessons she learned, but that's not who you are anymore."
"Ya think so?" Mary asked hopefully.
"I know so." Catherine smiled. "You're ready for this challenge."
"Most of the time I think I'm ready, but every once in a while, a little doubt creeps in and that voice in my head asks me what in the world I think I'm doing," Mary admitted.
"We all deal with that voice," Catherine replied.
Mary's mouth dropped open slightly. "Even you?"
"Even me." Catherine nodded. "You just have to learn to tell it to take a seat."
Mary frowned. "I'm not sure I can do that."
"Yes, you can." Catherine leaned closer to the screen. "And any time you have trouble doing it just call me and I'll take care of it."
"I'll keep that in mind," Mary promised but there was something about the look on her face that compelled Catherine to keep going.
"Mary, I believe in you," Catherine said. "There's not a single doubt in my mind that you are not only going to make it through the social work program you are gonna take it by storm. Everything that happened to you in the past, good and bad, has brought you to where you are right now. This is where you're meant to be. This is what you're meant to do."
"Thank you," Mary said quietly around the lump in her throat.
Angie stopped squirming and sat down on Steve's stomach and watched her mother.
"You are strong," Catherine continued. "You are smart. You have an amazing heart and an unbelievable ability to empathize. You are gonna make this world a better place and you wanna know the best part?"
The tears of doubt were beginning to subside from Mary's eyes, replaced by a growing confidence and sense of excitement. There was something deep inside that responded to Catherine's words. Something indefinable. It was as if Catherine's belief in her was a support she could lean on when her own confidence failed. An ever-present cheerleader rooting her on. She knew Aaron believed in her, and Aunt Deb, and Steve, and more other people than she could ever have dreamed when she was younger. But there was something about Catherine's confidence, her unflagging belief, her unquestioning support, that was different. It was the most confident and accomplished woman she knew saying 'I know you can do it' with total sincerity. That was a powerful thing. "What?"
"You're a fantastic role model for Joan. You're teaching her that it's okay if not everything comes easy. That it's worth working hard to get what you want. And that it's ok to ask when you need help." Catherine pushed a stray piece of hair behind her ear. "Those are powerful lessons. There are a lot of people in Joan's life who will teach her important lessons, but the most important ones will be the ones she learns from you."
Steve watched Angie as she remained 100% focused on her mother. She clearly didn't understand the meaning behind the words but there was something in Catherine's tone that had her mesmerized. As if she instinctively realized her mother's words were making a difference.
As if she had been summoned by Catherine's mention of her name, Joan darted back into the room and stood in front of the camera. "Look, Cousin Angie, I got new princess pajamas."
Hearing Joan's voice Angie squealed, toddled across the room and scrambled back into her mother's lap. "Aaahh Baaah eee!"
"She likes them," Joan replied happily. "Ok I have to go finish getting ready for bed now. Night, Aunt Catherine. Night, Cousin Angie." She smiled as Steve's face came into view. "Night, Uncle Steve."
"Night Night!" Catherine smiled as Angie waved at the screen. "Angie will be getting ready for bed soon too."
As he said goodnight Steve couldn't help but smile.
His sister, who he once feared he would never be close to.
His niece, who had arrived as a surprise but had quickly won a piece of his heart.
His daughter, who had expanded his capacity to love in ways he didn't think were even possible.
And Catherine.
Always Catherine.
His true north.
He couldn't help but think that whatever other uncertainty there was in the world, he knew one thing for sure.
The next generation of women in his life were in very good hands.
THE END
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