A/N: And I'm back! Except this story is going to be a lot longer then just one chapter. Just a quick warning, I've never been to Paramount Studios or anything, I live in Australia so I have no idea how Paramount Studios works or how it looks or anything but improvisation never hurts. ;)

Another thing, I do not wear makeup at all. I have no clue what half of it is. Um, so if things sound weird, you'll know why. I'll get my "makeup enthusiast" of a best friend to clear things up eventually.

Warning: indirect mention of self-harm.

This story was requested by Shyanne on Tumblr about two months ago and I know it seems like a bitchload of years ago, but I didn't even have time to have a proper sleep in for the past 13 weeks. There's quite a lot of dialog in this chapter and not as much in future ones, hopefully Anyways, here we go and Shy, I hope it's worth the wait!

Also, I've had a couple people ... "complain" about this story because I used Kendall's real last name. So if none of this story makes sense anymore... that's not my fault. I would recommend changing 'Knight' to Kendall's real last name in your head as you are reading. Sorry. :)xx

Chapter One.

Shyanne's breath hitched in her throat as she read the big, coloured sign reading Big Time Rush hanging over the pathway that lead to her four idols. Adrenaline pumped through her veins and her whole body radiated with anticipation. Today she was going to meet the love of her life, her hero; Kendall Knight. She had every right to be nervous. She deserved this. She'd counted down the days, each dragged by agonisingly slow; one by one.

The tour guide, who she hadn't even managed to remember their name she was that nervous, rambled facts about the show and cast of Big Time Rush Shy already knew into the microphone. A hand slipped into hers and Shy's head whipped to the side to meet her best friend, Ash, with unsure eyes.

They both felt like nervous wrecks.

"Are you ready?" Shy asked.

"Better now then never, right?" Ash replied with a squeeze of her hand and inched forward, slowly falling behind the rest of the tour group and their guide for the day.

Their shoes skidded along the smooth concrete as they took in the scenery around them; blinding lights shon from every direction, props and costumes were carried from one place to another, camera's and clumps of people littered the floor of the set; frantic madness.

"And this is the Lobby of The Palm Woods, home of the future famous. In almost every episode you see the boys in this scene. It's pretty much the heart of The Palm Woods," the guide explained and although, no matter how hard she tried to concentrate, she couldn't. The guide's voice turned to a muffled nothing and white blotches whirled in her vision.

"Hey," a hand ghosted down Shy's arm. "Calm down, you're shaking,"

She replied while looking around to see if anyone else had noticed, "I'm fi..." voice trailing off as the scene before her etched itself in her mind permanently. She saw him. His loose button up plaid shirt delicately sitting on his frame, beautiful blonde strands of silk-like hair danced in the wind and his long legs wrapped in denim twitched as his feet clad in grey Vans glided along the concrete. He hadn't even noticed the tour group but she had definitely noticed him. "Kend..."

"Kendall, as in Kendall Knight?" Ash breathed; shocked that he would let anyone see him before schedule. But all Shy could do was nod and gleam, reality finally setting in; she was going to meet Kendall Knight; the Kendall Knight.

"Girls, please keep up, we don't want you lost." The guide smiled, Ash put an arm around Shy's shoulders to aid her walking. Shy glowing, shrugged her off now bouncing and jumping for joy.

"Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh! Did you see him? Did you see him, Ash? He's even more beautiful in real life! Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh!" Shy grabbed both of her best friend's hands and flailed them around as she jumped.

"Shy, calm down!" Ash quietly exclaimed snatching her hands away, "Everyone thinks you're insane!"

"Oh well! I saw him! I saw him! I saw him!"

"Shh, keep your voice down! I know you saw him. Chill out! We have to get through the tour first! Then you can fangirl all you want when you see him properly. Okay?"

"Okay." Still on her high, she settled in step with Ash and continued walking.

By the time the group had reached the 'Behind the Scenes' area, Shy's heartbeat had settled but the smile hadn't fallen a millimetre from her face. She still hadn't taken in any of her surroundings or processed a thing the tour guide had said at all until now.

"... and this room is where the makeup is done, costumes are sorted, hung and stored and rehearsals take place. When any of the cast members arrive, this is usually the first place they go, apart from the coffee lounge next door." The guide explained, the last part earned a few laughs from the parents in the group. The guide allowed them to wonder the room for a bit and told them to be mindful of the crew member's still working on last minute jobs.

Ash and Shy headed over to the costume department first of all. They discussed the clothes matching tops with bottoms and accessories with their outfits. They broke out into a fit of giggles more than once and Shy had lost every ounce of nervousness she had once harboured. Shy was in the middle of trying on one of the caveman outfits from one of her favourite episodes, Big Time Love Song, when she received a light tap on the shoulder.

"Excuse me," when Shy had turned around she thought for sure she was going to get kicked out for messing with the outfits. When the lady felt she had both girls attention, she continued. "Hi. My name is Breeanah and I couldn't help but notice you makeup is incredible. Are you looking for a career in that area because you have talent."

"No. I didn't think you needed to have talent to put on makeup," Shy remarked but noticed Breeanah withdraw from the both of them, she abruptly continued. "Oh no, I'm sorry if that sounded rude at all. I didn't mean it that way, it's just I'm so excited for today and I cant really think straight, like my thoughts are all jumbled because I'm kind of on hyper-mode and later on today I'm going to meet Kendall, the Kendall Knight! Can you believe that? Oh my gosh! Have you met him? Wait, you probably do his makeup every day. I'm so sorry, I'm rambling. Sorry." Shy rushed but immediately regretted everything that just spewed from her mouth, "Please don't tell him I said that, and yes. I want to be a makeup artist when I graduate."

Laughing Breeanah shook her head, "A CoverGirl, hey?"

"You know it," Shy's bubbly personality was really showing and proved how much of a people's person she is.

"Well, how about you finish the tour and meet me back here half an hour later?"

"Okay," Shy dragged, unsure of where this was leading, "but why?"

"Well if I'm going to employ you, I've got to know if you can work on a human canvas." Breeanah replied with a smile.

Shy looked to be in shock, Ash noticed this so being the great friend she is, she answered for her, "Are you kidding? She's amazing. She did mine before we came here. I'm Ash, by the way," offering out her hand as she shot a worried glance in Shy's direction.

"Breeanah, or Bree for short," Bree said, then shook Ash's outstretched hand.

"Wait, you want me to work here. Like here. Like here, here." Shy stumbled, not sure how to respond or what Bree was actually implying.

"Sure thing. I hope you live close and like early mornings though,"

"This isn't a joke?" Shy questioned.

"Duuuuude." Ash hit Shy on the shoulder, "Just say yes. You always say this is your dream job." She then turned her focus to Bree, Ash concluded, "She'd love to work for you."

"Great. Meet me back here after the tour and I'll show you the ropes." Bree finished with a smile and turned to walk away from the girls at the costume rack and toward her station. Shy quickly tore off the Caveman costume, laid it over the hanger before she ran to Bree and stopped her in her tracks.

"Don't you need to discuss this with your manager or the head stylist or something before you go and employ people?"

"I am the manager or the head stylist or something," Bree laughed, both now stopped in the middle of floor between the makeup stations and the costume racks.

"Oh. Don't I have to fill out paperwork or prove myself worthy? You don't even know my name."

"Of course, that's why you and your lovely friend, Ash," Bree said will a flash of a smile at the teen, "are coming back here in a couple of hours. By then I won't have anyone to do up for filming or the Meet and Greet. I'm Bree, and you are?"

"Shyanne. And okay, sounds good. But, I'll have to call my mum and tell her what's going on."

"That's why I'm giving you a half hour to get back here. I really hope you take this job. It would look amazing on your Resume for future jobs,"

"I hope I come back too." And with a soft laugh at that, she looked over Bree's shoulder and noticed everyone was being filed out of the rear door.

"I think we have to go," Ash said, reading Shy's thoughts.

"Okay, have a great rest-of-your-tour, girls. I'll see you, the both of you, later. Bye." Bree said with a warm hug to each, and walked back over to her station.

"Wow."

"I know, right?"

Shy and Ash hadn't said a word since their encounter with Bree. They were both trying to work out everything that had been exchanged. Was Bree serious? Does Shy really have a job? Can she get one that easily? What does all of this mean for Shy?

Both were suddenly snapped out of their thoughts when the tour guide had clicked his fingers in front of their faces and asked for their passes. The girls showed the shiny bits of laminated paper and joined the other members of their tour group, both zoning out again.

A loud roar of fangirl screams and whistling bought both girls back to reality; both looked at each other eyes begged for clues as to what was going on.

"Hello!"

Another uproar of noise.

"How are we today?" Shyanne's eyes snapped to the source of the enhanced voices. When she saw those for perfected Gods, her heart melted. James was first to walk across the platform, followed by Carlos, Logan and finally Kendall, a unique gracefulness belonging to each man along with four amazingly individual smiles. Her eyes were glued as Kendall waltzed across to his seat. He pulled his chair in tucking himself in comfortably, eyes scanning through the audience. Shy watched as his beautiful, green orbs moved, freezing when he locked eyes with her.

His smile slid from his face, eyes not daring to move one inch. Time stood still; she was transfixed by him, like nothing else mattered, nothing else was real. Everything dissipated around them. Her heart pounded, filling her ears with the rhythmic thump that washed out everything else. His eyes dazzled and he offered her a light but warm smile and her throat constricted. Where'd the air go?

Kendall's eyes shot over to Logan when he nudged him with his elbow.

And Shy could breathe again.

"Hey, you okay?"

Shy could only nod. She couldn't form words. All of the dread and nervousness she thought she had lost, came rushing back, her body started to shake again.

"Well, it looks like this is it, Shy. Why we've been counting down the days, what we've waited too long for. Okay, we can do this. You can do this."

Again, only a nod.

"Breathe"

Shy's legs felt like jelly as the distance between her and the table that her four kings sat behind drew smaller and smaller. Her breath felt like rocks as she gulped it in, knowing every other way of breathing didn't work. She squeezed her hands together, nerves owning her body. Finally the time had come and she was next to approach the table. She grabbed out her oversized BTR poster, rolled up into a cylinder out of her bag and drew in one last breath, still shaking as she approached the table.

James first.

"Hi there."

"Hey," he replied. He smiled and she was almost blinded by the feeling behind it. He really did love his fans; she could see it in his eyes.

They talked lightly as he signed her poster, saying goodbyes and thank-you's when the line moved down. She repeated that same act for each man, gulping in air as she moved down the line, Ash beside her every step of the way.

Then she finally got to Kendall.

"Hi, how are you?"

"Great, thank-you. Yourself?"

"I'm well, thanks," She offered her poster for him to sign and as he did so she spilt her heart, "I know you probably think I'm just another of your obsessive fans," the last words causing his hand to stop scribbling and his head rotated up, eyes again meeting hers. "But I just want you to know that I'm not. I'm so much more. I owe you my life. I owe you all my life," her eyes shot down the row of her idols, her statement also causing Logan to pause signing Ash's smaller poster and listen. "If I had never discovered you, if this show was never created, I know I wouldn't be standing here today. I doubt I'd be alive at that. Your music convinced me not to make the worst mistake of my life. You showed me that there's more to life then just the four walls I was locked in, you showed me that there is hope, something to live for. What you do for a living is what keeps me living. You have no idea how much you each mean to me, no idea. I thank God every day that destiny bought you four together. I thank him for your show and your music saving me. You saved me." Her fingers brushed against the pink, fleshy scars marring her wrist. Kendall's eyes shot down to where her hands connected, a shallow gasp escaped when he realised what she was concealing.

"Aw, baby," he grabbed her wrist and gently pulling it toward himself for a closer inspection. Shy watched, his, and Logan's, eyes were filled with sorrow. He glided his thumb over each individual scar, soothing it as if his touch would heal all of her pain. He lent his face down and pushed his lips against her wrist. The kiss so passionate, she wished it was her lips Kendall was kissing. He looked up at her, smiled his smile filled with meaning and let go of her hand. Shy retracted her hand and held it in her heart, tears blurring her vision.

"You are my life. I love you all so much. I wouldn't know where I would be without any of you. I am one hundred percent true when I say this; I owe you my life. I really do. Thank you."

"Don't thank us, beautiful. It's you who we sing for, remember that." Kendall replied voice soaked with sympathy.

"I will." One single tear escaped her eye. She let it run and fall to her shirt, not caring anymore.

Kendall smiled once more before picking up the pen and continuing where he left off on Shy's poster. He finished and it slid over.

Shy picked the poster off the table noticing Kendall had written more than just his signature. 'Every time you here my voice, remember that I'm singing for you.'

"Thank-you. Thank you so much." Shy was on the verge of breaking down in tears. "You're my everything." She smiled before walking onwards. She stopped further enough away so Kendall couldn't see or hear her cry and waited for Ash.

Shy's makeup left lines of black down her cheeks and she couldn't stop the tears that rolled freely from her eyes when Ash spotted her. She walked to her and engulfed her in a loving hug. "You okay?"

All she could do was nod. Ash lifted her head and wiped her tears away, holding her tight and when Shy composed herself she cleared her throat and spoke. "What would I do without you?"

"You'd be lost without me."

"Damn right."

"Now, let's go get you a job!"

"Shit. I can't go like this. Bathroom! Bathroom now!"

"Wait!" Ash screamed, running after her, "You don't even know where the bathroom is!"

Once Shy had touched up her makeup and called her mum, both Shy and Ash were super excited for their meet with Bree.

"Hey! You guys make it!" Bree bellowed from the back entrance of the room.

"Heck yeah! We got lost, like, 7 times but we're here now." Shy replied with a smile bigger than the moon.

Bree shook her head and laughed, walking over to Shy grabbing her hand and dragging her over to her station, "Well then, let's get to it." Ash found a comfortable couch and sprawled out across it while Bree showed Shy the basics of stage makeup. She then took Shy over to two people who sat in makeup chairs, a man and a woman, Bree introduced them and showed Shy what to do for a man's makeup and a woman's, both dramatically different. By the end of the 'makeup session', Shy's head was swirling. She had learnt so much about the not-so-simple task and realised you did need talent to put on makeup.

"So I assume you're ready for the job?" Bree asked, silently thanking the two volunteers for the afternoon.

"Definitely."

"Good. Here," she passed Shy a pile of papers, "Your first job is Thursday. That gives you six days to fill this out and perfect everything I've taught you today. I'll see you then."

"You bet."