A Tale of Two Touyas
1. Mother and Son
"Touya Kouyo was not your biological father," his mother tells him, on the anniversary of his father's death.
He asks her: Who?
"Someone from university," she says, and does not elaborate.
He asks her: Why?
"Please understand, Akira-san," she says. "Before I was Touya Akiko, I was Sakaguchi Akiko. I-" and here she falters, but does not relent, "I had other dreams. It was hard to put them aside. We are people too, your parents."
He asks her: How could you?
"You and your father think in abstractions," she says, tired now. "Go philosophy and stars...it all sounds so beautiful. But I just see a board game."
She goes to bed and so does he, but he does not sleep.
He understands, rationally, how it must have been for a young woman, even in that era, to be matched with a man nearly twice her age, a man like his father who'd found the love of his life long before he found his wife.
(For Akira, it never mattered that Touya Kouyo was a go player first and a father second; the two were the same, to him.)
He supposes he's supposed to do something with this new knowledge, maybe go on a voyage of self-discovery or on a voyage to find his father-his biological father-but he can't imagine himself doing something so dramatic.
It shouldn't matter, he tells himself. His father gave him his go; Touya Kouyo gave to Akira, who was not his son, the thing he loved most. The board never lied about what his father felt for him. There were a thousand games there, a thousand memories written clear and pure. Nothing could change the truth of those games.
And as for his mother...
She always made our favourites when we were sad or tired, without needing to be asked. Grilled mackerel with miso for father, grated dashi on the side. Curry rice for me. We would talk of go at the dinner table, and she would wait patiently for us to remember to eat the food she'd prepared.
Were those kindnesses her way of asking forgiveness? Ease and comfort and a willingness to share, an understanding that her husband belonged to go as much as he belonged to her?
Or was it exactly that, the sharing, that drove her to adultery?
How could his father have forgiven her? Had he known? Why would she tell, after all this time? Why not let the past stay buried with the dead?
Touya knows he will not ask his questions in the morning. His mother raised him; clearly, she loves him. Clearly, she loved her husband.
But...
What do my memories mean, if the people in those memories are not the people I thought they were?
"I'm Touya Akira," he says to himself. "My father is Touya Kouyo."
He cannot bear to say his mother's name.
2. Father and Son
Akira has to lean down to hear his father's voice.
"I gave you the best life I could, in the only way I knew how," Touya Kouyo sighs softly, his breath a warm spell against his son's ear.
"You gave me everything," Akira tells him.
Touya Kouyo sighs again. "Perhaps. Perhaps I should have let your mother give you more."
Akira tilts his head closer, not sure he understands.
"But it's too late for regrets," his father murmurs. "There's just your life, your go. Mine is coming to an end."
His breath is so weak, barely there. Akira, wanting something tangible to hold on to, catches his father's hands in his own.
"Our go," he says, "will always be precious to me."
"Then I have nothing to regret."
Akira closes his eyes. The kindness in his father's smile is almost painful now. "Is it time?" he asks. "Should I go get mother?"
"No," says Touya Kouyo. "Not yet. I want to play one last game with you."
Akira nods, hands tightening around his father's. They are allowed to be selfish here, at the end. His mother will understand.
3. Husband and Wife
She goes to bed and so does he, but she does not sleep.
This child in my belly is not yours, she thinks as her husband breathes quietly beside her. The frown lines on his face disappear when he sleeps, making him seem younger than he is. You will take him from me and teach him to play go, but there will always be a part of him that is not yours.
The child might not look like Kouyo: the wrong eyes, the wrong chin, the wrong hands. He might be like his mother: terrible at go. She might be a girl child, and not the boy they're all hoping for. Maybe she'll want to go to university instead of giving her life to a game. Maybe she'll want to learn things from her mother, more a Sakaguchi than a Touya.
Her husband's breaths are so light, barely there. He will be a good father to my child, she thinks. He will be kind, as he's been kind to me. And still I'll want more than I can ask for.
Touya Kouyo turns over in his sleep, dreaming of stones and the small hands that will hold them. Touya Akiko lies awake, dreaming things she dare not dream.
4. Mother and Son Redux
"Touya Kouyo was not your biological father," his mother tells him on the anniversary of his father's death, over curry rice. "Kuwabara-sensei is. I had an affair with him."
Akira chokes on his rice.
"Akira-san? Do you need some water?"
After dinner he goes upstairs and stares at his reflection in the mirror. That's the kind of thing you do when you're having a paternity crisis, right?
"No wonder I have such a weak jawline," he says to the mirror.
After getting out of the washroom he calls Shindou, which is a mistake.
"So...you have even more daddy issues now?"
Akira hangs up on him.
The next day he runs into Kuwabara-sensei and Shindou at the same time, and it is horrible.
5. Some Other Mother and Son
"Shindou Masao was not your biological father," his mother tells him on his birthday, over chocolate cake. "Happy Birthday."
"What? What?" says Hikaru around his mouthful of cake. "Who was it?"
"Touyo Kouyo," she says.
"Fuck," says Hikaru, spitting out his cake.
"It certainly explains where you got your go talent from, doesn't it?"
Hikaru is too busy being horrified to think about go. "Did you know all this time I've been fucking my half-brother?"
"Yes," his mother says.
"Fuck," says Hikaru again, and wakes up gasping the word loudly, and not in a good way.
"Hmm?" Akira murmurs sleepily. He is attractively butt-naked, but this only disturbs Hikaru more, after that dream.
"My mom never slept with your dad, right?" he ventures.
"...Why on earth would you ask that?"
"I dreamed we were half-brothers."
Akira's droopy eyelids open up a little more at that. He raises an eyebrow and rolls over, right onto Hikaru.
"Kinky," he whispers.
6. Very Tragic Story
Akira poured a cup a cold water on his head and looked in the mirror.
Akira poured a cup of hot water on his head (ow! ow!) and looked in the mirror.
Akira picked up a phone, dialed a number in China and explained the situation to the person on the other end.
"I already tell you, you fall in Nyannīchuan, Spring of Drowned Girl," the Guide said impatiently. "Very tragic story of young girl who drown there one thousand five hundred year ago. Now whoever fall in spring take body of a young girl."
Touya poured the cold water again and looked in the mirror. Again.
"I don't notice any difference," s/he said to the phone.
7. Roppongi Boy
"Heeeeey, Touya!"
"Hm?"
"Saw you in Roppongi yesterday. With a cute girl on your arm!"
"Really? But I didn't go to Roppongi yesterday."
"Riiiiight. You sly dog. It was during your dad's study group and everything!"
"Oh, you must have seen my twin brother."
"Ha, right."
"No, seriously."
"...You do not have a twin brother."
"Yes, I do. You've never met him? His name is Akihiro."
"..."
"You've probably never seen him because he's always at cram school. And soccer practice. And out with his girlfriends. I'll have to introduce you to him one of these days."
"...Okay, funny, Touya has a twin brother who actually has a life, ha ha. So who was the girl?"
"Shindou. I. was. not. with. a girl. yesterday. Akihiro. was."
"Touya. You. are. shitting. me. You. do. not. have. a. twin. brother."
"Okay, that's it."
"Huh? Where are you going? We haven't even played yet!"
"I don't have to sit here and listen to you call me a liar and deny the existence of my brother."
"Wait wait wait! Damn, you're really mad, aren't you? Are you saying you really do have a brother?"
"...Why the hell do I even bother trying to talk to you?"
"Geez, Louise! Sorry for being a little skeptical about anyone being related to you having a girlfriend!"
"You're not helping yourself."
"Come on, even you have to admit it's pretty unbelievable that your parents could produce even one well-adjusted kid."
"..."
"Okay, shutting up now."
"..."
"Touya? Oh man, I'm sorry, would you look at me? Are you shaking?"
"..."
"Touya?"
"...heh heh."
"Touya? Are you...laughing?"
"I'm sorry, I can't help it. I can't believe you fell for it!"
"..."
"A twin brother-did you think we were hiding him in a closet all this time?"
"...You...you big jerk!"
"No, Akihiro's the jerk. I'm the nice brother."
"...Touya, I am going to slaughter you. Nigiri."
(pachi)
(pachi)
(don!)
(pachi)
(pachi)
"I resign. Are you still mad at me?"
"...Guess not. Guess it was kind of funny."
"It was."
"Ha ha ha, right. But...you know, you never told me what you were doing in Roppongi yesterday."
"That part was true. I really wasn't there."
"But I saw you. It was definitely you! With a girl!"
"I went to study group yesterday. You can ask my father."
"Huh."
"..."
"..."
"..."
"So...maybe you really do have a twin brother?"
8. Time After Time
"Hey, be nice to me! You don't want to piss off the guy taking care of your apartment," Hikaru told the air. Or what seemed to be the air. He was talking into his newly-acquired bluetooth headset, which made him look crazy. It was just like old times, except without the ancient Heian ghost.
At the other end of the line Touya made fussy noises while Hikaru rolled his eyes.
"I will water your plant. I will talk to it and call it endearing names. It will love me more than you by the time you get back, I'll be so nice to it."
Still yapping away, Hikaru walked the five final steps to Touya's apartment, inserted the key, and swung the door open.
And saw Touya Akira staring back at him.
He stepped back involuntarily, too shocked to make a sound. On the phone, Touya was complaining about Hikaru's flippant attitude toward horticulture. In front of him, Touya's hand shot out and pulled Hikaru through the door, shutting it behind him.
"Shindou? Are you listening?" said Touya on the phone.
"Be quiet," said the Touya in Touya's genkan, "and listen to me. I don't have much time."
Hikaru looked past him and saw odd swirling symbols painted in red all over Touya's pristine taupe walls. He could feel his eyes growing wide. But he reached up to the headset and turned it off, cutting Touya off mid-sentence.
The...boy? man? in front of him deflated visibly in relief. He was trembling a little, but his eyes never left Hikaru's.
"I'm from the future," he said simply. "A future that must not be allowed to happen."
"What is going to..."
Touya held up a hand.
"I can't tell you. You just have to trust me. Trust me and do what I say." His eyes pleaded with Hikaru even as his voice issued the command.
Heart pounding, Hikaru took Touya's upraised palm in his hands and lowered it gently. "All right."
Touya nodded once, letting out a quiet sigh. Then he made his request. "Promise you won't leave the apartment this weekend."
Hikaru blinked. "That's it?"
"Yes. That's it. Stay inside, no matter what."
Hikaru dropped Touya's hand and strode past him into the tiny kitchen. He opened up the fridge. "Well. There's enough milk and food in here for a few days at least."
Closing the door of the refrigerator, he straightened up and took a good look around. The symbols on the walls stared back at him. Touya was still standing in the genkan. "Something's going to happen, isn't it."
Touya did not reply.
He's been staring at Hikaru all throughout the conversation, but there was something different in his eyes now, something distant. Touya wasn't seeing him; he was seeing another Hikaru, from some other time or place, and if there was anything Hikaru hated it was being looked at by someone who wasn't really looking at him for himself.
His own Touya had stopped doing that years ago.
"If something's going to happen," Hikaru finally said, "I can't just stay here. I can't hide in here and...and take care of Touya's plant while something bad is happening."
"No," Touya whispered.
"I'm sorry. I can't do what you ask. I have to at least try to do something. Maybe I can bring my family here. Maybe I can find Touya in Wakayama..."
"You won't find him," Touya said dully. "I can tell you that much."
"I'm sorry," Hikaru said again as he descended into the genkan. "But you should know me well enough to know I have to go."
"Don't go."
As Hikaru closed the door behind him he thought he could hear something like a sob, in a voice not unlike the voice of someone he loved.
9. Time After Time After Time
Akira was exhausted. The trip from Wakayama station to his apartment had involved four transfers and a whole lot of dashing around trying to make those transfers. He was just glad to be home. Maybe Shindou would be at his apartment to greet him? That would be a nice homecoming.
He walked the five final steps to the apartment, inserted the key, and swung the door open.
And saw...something.
"It's not what it looks like!" Shindou yelled.
Akira looked at Shindou, then at the man Shindou was kissing. Who looked exactly like Akira, except for the burglar outfit.
Also, his walls had been vandalized.
"I'm not sure what it looks like, actually," he said.
Shindou's voice was muffled by the kissing. "It's not cheating if he's you!"
"What?"
"I had to stay inside the whole weekend," Shindou explained, without really explaining anything. "We got really bored, and one thing led to another."
"Okaaay," said Akira.
Meanwhile, the...person kept nuzzling at Shindou's neck.
"Okay, that's enough," said Akira.
They broke apart, finally, and it was the weirdest thing, seeing those hands, his hands, lingering on Shindou's shoulders and sliding down across his chest, holding themselves against his heart for a moment before falling away with a regretful sigh.
Ugh. No wonder people complained about the two of them so much.
"So," said Shindou. "Soooo. You're probably wondering."
"I'm your future self," the other Akira explained concisely. "I came back in time to tell Shindou to stay inside all weekend. By doing so we averted a terrible disaster."
"Exactly. Though I'm still not sure what the disaster was." Shindou gave a nervous smile.
Akira looked between the two of them. Neither of them looked crazy. And it would explain everything, even the make-out session. Shindou always wanted to make out when he was cooped up. Sure, that made sense.
"I believe you," Akira told them with a nod. "But just barely."
The other Akira nodded too, in exactly the same way. "Thank you."
Shindou watched them carefully, a thoughtful expression on his face. "I'm glad you two get along. Though I can't see how you wouldn't."
"Would you like to play a game?" Akira asked his future self.
His future self made dragon eyes back at him. "Yes."
Shindou smiled brightly. "And then can we have a threesome?"
"No," said two Touya Akiras.
Shindou pouted.
-End-
Author's notes:
This is one of those fics that started out as just a title. And at first it was going to be a long fic about a version of Touya from another dimension with all this wacko blood magic (hence the swirly red stuff on Touya's walls in the time-traveling fic) but it had no plot and I was too lazy to write it. So you get a bunch of largely unrelated related shortfics instead.
Btw, time-traveling Touya was partially inspired by a certain anime series, but I can't say which series because it would spoil it.
The one with Touya pouring water on his head was a crossover with Ranma 1/2.
Re: the first three short fics about Touya's family, I feel kind of bad about what I did to Touya's mom! I am feeling some feminist angst here.