Patience. It's not a characteristic I'm known for. Particularly when it comes to incompetence. So it was no surprise to me that my patience had already begun to wear thin after thirty minutes of waiting on some dimwitted officer to fetch what I can only assume to be the painfully inaccurate dossier the Alliance has created for me.
Very few people know my history, or what i'm capable of. I don't count the Alliance among them. Yet here I am, sitting in an interrogation room inside the makeshift headquarters the navy has constructed following the war.
Finally the door mercifully opens and in hobbles a man who quite obviously had acquired more muscles than brains by the way he nearly tripped over himself before taking a seat opposite me. He's a large man sporting a buzz cut and a uniform that looked as though he had been stuffed inside of.
He powers on the datapad in his hand and studies the text for a moment before he speaks in a deep voice. "Miss Lawson."
"Miranda Lawson." I clarified. "And you are?"
He shoots me a cold glare, the kind of look I used to give out quite liberally. "Luitenant Bolston Stark." He tells me as if I should be impressed. I'm not of course.
I lift my hands on to the tabletop to give him a good look of dampening cuffs that had been strapped to my wrists. "Lets get this over with shall we?"
And there's the look. The same look all men give me. It looks different on all of them. Some are more more subtle, others don't mind blatantly staring at my bloody breasts. It didn't take Stark long but already he's running his eyes along me and the corner of his narrow lips perk up. I used to use that look to my advantage on occasion, now it's just infuriating and disgusting.
He grunts like some wild animal and looks back at his file. "It says here you're Cerberus."
"Was Cerberus." I inform him. "Although I hardly think that's a surprise. Isn't the entire reason for this interrogation my affiliation with Cerberus?"
"The reason is you're a known terrorist."
I chuckle. I can't help it, but it's truly an absurd accusation. "A terrorist? Is that what it says?" I don't doubt it. People do always love to see things in black and white. The general population is so incapable of wrapping their minds around matters such as this. I suppose it's simpler for them to view me that way. Fine I'll accept whatever title they choose for me, what do I care? It's not as if I'm here to make friends.
"I ask the questions here. Did you or did you not willfully work with Cerberus?" Stark asks.
"I did."
"What was your role among the organization?"
I take a deep breath and collect my thoughts. It's a big question, I had many roles in Cerberus but I know what he wants me to say.
"I was a high level operative who worked directly with the Illusive Man. Mainly I worked with research and development or the special projects division, perhaps you've heard of the Lazarus project? I also did a substantial amount of in field work. "
Mentioning my former employer gets me wondering about him again. I haven't heard much news of what's been happening across the galaxy. Not since I surrendered to Alliance custody a few weeks back. Nothing about Shepard, the Illusive Man or most concerning, Oriana. However I didn't exactly have access to my networks in the glorified cell i'd been rotting in here in Vancouver.
"When did you last have contact with the Illusive Man?" The man asks me.
"Several months ago. We don't exactly keep in touch anymore." What does this idiot think I was? His friend? As far as I could tell the Illusive Man had no friends or family. If he did he had wiped any trace of them long before I met him.
He grins at me and leans in. "So you haven't heard?"
"Heard what?" I ask.
"Your Illusive Man finally got what was coming to him. Rescue crews dragged his body out of the wreckage in London. He was so crushed the only way they identified him was those eyes of his. I hear they strung him up by the neck for everyone to see and plucked those damn eyes out of his head."
My eyes widen in shock. I know I should be glad, he'd been hunting me for months, threatened my sister and terrorized the galaxy. But it's not relief I feel.
"What do you think of that, Miss Lawson?"
It's complicated. I admired him, in some small way I suppose I still do. He might have turned against what I believed in, he might have tried to kill me, but the Illusive Man was never someone so easily defined.
"I'm not happy to hear he's dead if that's what you want me to say."
Had it come down to it I would have killed him myself without hesitation. Still I owed much to the man. My life, my sister's life. What the galaxy won't understand, what they're incapable of believing, is that the Illusive Man was not always some monster. When I knew him he was a brilliant and ambitious man who truly only had humanity's best interests at heart. But something had changed him, the Reapers I suspect. I doubt the man he was the day he died was that same man I first met when I was sixteen.
"If you ask me he got what he deserved. I lost ten good buddies to Cerberus."
I lean in. "I didn't ask you."
Stark rolls his eyes and looks back at the file. It's obvious he hates me, They all do. I suppose I can't blame them.
"Why do you want to join the Alliance?"
My answer comes instantly. "Because I need the Alliance almost as much as they need me. I'm a woman with a lot to offer. And I wish to be in a position where I can utilize my talents instead of letting them go to waste. At the moment the Alliance is my best chance of doing so."
"Do you regret it? Working for Cerberus."
Another question more complicated then this man knew. Had I not joined Cerberus I never would have escaped my bastard of a father, Oriana wouldn't have either. Shepard would still be dead and the Reapers would most certainly still be a threat. However I did things in Cerberus I promised myself I would never share. Killed people the Illusive Man wanted dead, subverted and twisted science to meet my needs and became a woman I am sometimes ashamed of. Still the answer comes easily enough.
"No. I don't."
The large man shakes his head in disbelief. "When did you join?"
"I joined when I was sixteen years old. I was placed in the custody of two operatives until I turned eighteen and began working as a solo operative for the Illusive Man."
"And who were they? The two operatives."
"Not that it's relevant but their names were Victor Reed and Jill Woodcomb. We also don't keep in touch anymore if you were going to ask. Things didn't exactly end well between us."
"I'm just trying to create a timeline of your Cerberus involvement, Miss Lawson. Your dossier is a little light."
"I'm not surprised."
My feelings on Victor and Jill were even more conflicted than those on the Illusive Man. They were also two people I owed much to. More than I ever came close to repaying them for. But that didn't matter, they were behind me now just like all of Cerberus was. I need this fresh start. I need to contribute, need to fix the mess Cerberus and the Reapers made. Because I'm not what this man thinks I am, I haven't been ever since Shepard. For as much as I owed Victor, Jill and the Illusive Man I owed Shepard even more. And this is what she would want me to do.
"Look," I start with a voice as sincere as I truly am. "I surrendered to the Alliance because I wished to do some good. I won't deny that I did questionable things during my time with Cerberus but I also will not apologize for them. But you should believe me when I tell you that I am here as your ally, not your enemy. So I'd appreciate it if I was no longer treated as some prisoner." I shake my cuffed wrists but Stark looks unmoved.
"You will treated as a prisoner so long as you are one. And as it stands at the moment, Miss Lawson, You are a prisoner. And you haven't given a very compelling case for your innocence. I'm here to evaluate your eligibility for recruitment, the Alliance took just as many hits as everyone else during the war and we can't exactly turn away the help. That being said, we also can't just ignore crimes like those you've committed."
"What crimes do you believe I have committed?" I ask. This man doesn't know me. Few do.
"Personally? I think all you Cerberus scum are guilty of the same damn thing. And it's bullshit the brass is even considering pardoning someone like you. If it was up to me I-"
Suddenly the door to the interrogation room snaps open and Stark turns to see the figure standing in the door frame. It's a man I recognize. Stark jumps to his feet and snaps a salute. "Major Alenko, sir! I hadn't heard you'd arrived, sir!"
"At ease." This Major Alenko tells Stark. I'm surprised that I actually find his voice vaguely attractive. "I just arrived on base, Lt. I heard you had yourself a hero in here and I wanted to see for myself."
Stark laughs. "A hero? Hardly, sir."
"You're relieved. I'll take things from here." Alenko says
The dimwitted man scowls at me before reluctantly saying. "Roger, Sir." and leaving me alone with Alenko.
He smiles at me and runs a hand through his dark hair. "I'm sorry. I'm sure they're not treating you fairly."
"Nothing I haven't dealt with before." I tell him. Cruelty isn't exactly foreign to me.
"Still you deserve respect and I'll make sure you get it."
I feel myself relaxing. This man is the first to not treat me like some terrorist. "I appreciate that." I tell him.
He sits down across from me. "We've never really officially met. My name is Kaidan Alenko."
Technically we had met during that party Shepard had thrown. But I doubt he remembered much of that night.
"I know who you are, Major. I'd shake your hand but-" I raise my cuffed wrists. "It seems the Alliance doesn't trust me."
"Let me take care of that." Kaidan opens his omni-tool and sends the unlock code to the cuffs. They snap off my wrists and fall down to the table.
I narrow my eyes in confusion as I rub the tender flesh of my wrists. I don't waste time presenting my hand to him. "Miranda Lawson."
He shakes my hand firmly and offers another smile. "I know."
"What's been happening out there? They've kept me locked up, I don't know anything."
"I don't know much either. I guess nobody does. After Shepard fired the Crucible myself and the rest of the crew aboard the Normandy were stranded on some garden world just outside of Sol. We never would have gotten off that planet if it wasn't for Tali. EDI didn't make it though. Joker is taking it pretty hard."
"I see."
"I just got back to Earth a few hours ago along with everyone else. And I...I just heard about Shepard."
"How is she?" I ask sounding as desperate to hear the information as I am.
"Alive."
It's the first good news i've heard since I saw the Reapers fall dead first hand. But the way Kaidan says it tells me there's more to it.
"She's comatose isn't she?" I guess.
Kaidan frowns. "Yeah. The doctors...well I guess they don't really know when she'll wake up. If she'll wake up. She got really banged up too."
"They should let me treat her. I know more about her than anyone."
"They won't." He says regrettably. "The navy has her under heavy guard."
"Why are you here, Major?"
"Call me Kaidan. Shepard talked about you on the Normandy. She says she considers you a friend. And any friend of Shepard's is a friend of mine. Besides, it looks like you could use a friend right about now."
"Perhaps." I admit. I don't often take a liking to people this quickly or at all for that matter.
Kaidan looks down to the datapad Stark left on the table and picks it up. He smirks as he reads my dossier.
"What did Shepard say about me?" I'm curious as to what the Commander took away from the time we shared. I doubt the impact I left was as profound as the one she left on me.
He slides the datpad across the table to me. "See for yourself. Looks like that's the report she gave on you when they had her in lock up."
I pick it up and start reading. I have to scroll through a few woefully inaccurate assumptions about my past before I get to Shepard's own words.
"Miranda Lawson was not the most modest woman I've met. Quite the opposite really. She's a genius and she certainly doesn't shy away from telling you."
I guess that's fair. I never have understood modesty. Especially when my strengths are so easily on display. I've never bothered to hide them.
"All of that aside. Even when she was devoted to Cerberus I couldn't help but admire her. She was a loyal member of the team, one I couldn't have completed our mission without and eventually she was a loyal friend too. I'm proud to call her a friend regardless of who she worked for or what she's done. I could see what I doubt even she could. Miranda Lawson is a good woman, one I'd trust my life with. Because she's a hero just like everyone else on that ship. And because I owe her everything."
I'm not someone easily moved. Simple as it might seem, that was the single nicest thing anyone has ever said about me. I don't hide my smile and look up to Kaidan.
"I came here because I thought she'd want me to." I admit. "It felt like...like repaying a favor. But everyone here treats me the same. Perhaps it was a mistake."
He shakes his head. "No it wasn't."
"These people would sooner lock me up than let me serve by their side."
"I'll take care of it, Miranda. Something tells me I got a little pull round here now. I'll make sure you're pardoned, I give you my word. If what Shepard says is true then the Alliance would be lucky to have you."
I'm speechless. I don't get speechless. Yet here I am unable to think of what to say to this. I've always prided myself on my ability to read people, but even I couldn't have anticipated such kindness from a man who knows so little about me.
"Kaidan, how could I repay you for this?"
I'm expecting it. There has to be some catch, I expect the look, it has to come. Yet it doesn't. Kaidan's eyes stay locked with mine when he smiles. "How about you buy me a drink? I could really use one. I'm sure we both could."
I return his smile. "Deal."
Notes- Sorry for the small delay but hopefully it was worth it. I've wanted to show how Kaidan and Miranda's friendship began for a while now. I also hope I did a good job with Miranda's inner voice here, I'm still learning this first person thing so bear with me. I hope to have the next Rise up soon and you can expect the next first person story to focus on Ereyla. Until then tell me what you thought of this story in the reviews.