Wrote this as an anon request on Tumblr.
Tony proposes to Steve and is freaking out to someone.
Yup. Here it is.
Current Song: Linda Blaire Was Born Innocent by the Mountain Goats
Current Thought: I ain't even tired, bro.
Enjoy!
Title from a quote found on the internet that goes:
When in doubt, choose love.
When In Doubt, Choose Love
"I am going to puke. Yep. That's it. I'm going to puke and you know what? I'm not even going to do it anymore, that's what. That is exactly what."
Tony paces a little more, chews on his bottom lip. But the fact is that he wants to do it. He wants to do it because it'll make them both happy and that's something so rare; it really doesn't happen often. So he can't not do it. That'd be… that'd be the end of everything, in his point of view.
So he has to do it.
"Except, again, he could say no or I could be making an idiot - ok a bigger idiot - out of myself and that's just… no. Not cool. I'm not doing it."
But he is. He just needs to hash out all his insecurities and then he'll go do it and it'll be fine and shit, he actually designed and made this ring, all special and intricate and he's going to ruin it if he keeps squeezing his hands into fists like this, so Tony takes a deep breath and stops.
"I'm so fucked," he says.
"I can't say I'm surprised, but I'd really like to know how this time, Stark."
Tony jumps at the voice and turns to find Phil Coulson standing in the doorway. He's in a polo shirt tucked into jeans and well, Tony's never seen him look this laid back before.
"How'd you do it?" Tony asks.
"Be specific, Stark," Phil answers, walking into the room and taking a seat.
"How'd you propose to Clint?" Tony asks. "How'd you do that? How did you take that stepand not freak out?" Because as far as Tony is concerned, freaking out is mandatory.
Phil doesn't even look thrown as he answers, "Oh but I did freak out. And then I manned up and asked him and I stuttered over my words and felt like a complete fool, but I was a fool in love and I knew he loved me so it was fine. And he said yes. And it wasn't so scary anymore."
"Why?" Tony asks. "Why weren't you afraid?" He actually sits down because he needs to hear this, needs something to ground him and out of everyone, he least expected Coulson to do it. He should have known better.
Phil shrugs and says like it's common sense, and hell, it is common sense when he puts it like that, "Because he loved me, you idiot. Why should I be afraid to ask someone I love, who loves me, to make it official?" He cocks an eyebrow.
"I…" And what the hell? Since when is this whole proposal thing supposed to make sense? "That makes… that actually makes sense. Huh." Tony spins his ring around his index finger as he thinks on it.
Phil nods to it. "That for Steve?"
Tony looks at him in surprise and then he looks down at the ring. His stomach flips. "I - yeah. Yeah it is."
Phil nods. "You nervous?"
"Yes. How did you think I was feeling? Excited?" Tony snaps, then looks away because that's a bit low, even for him. The guy's trying to help. The least Tony could do is cooperate, even just a little bit.
Phil just rolls with it though, because he's married to Clint fucking Barton, he's learned to roll with this shit. "Ok. Don't be. What's there to be nervous about? It's Steve Rogers. Your Steve. Give me one good reason why you should be nervous. And if you say 'because he might say no' I will taze you. Seriously."
Ok. So there goes Tony's reason. And as he thinks of it a bit more, he realizes, slowly, that he'll be fine. There is no reason to freak out. Huh.
"I… there isn't one, is there?" he says, because he's always been difficult, answering a question with a question.
Phil nods a bit as he gets up. "Bingo. Now, I have a husband to find and entertain and you have a fiance to, well, get engaged to. Have fun Stark."
He's half-way out the door when Tony has the decency to remember the manners Pepper has taught him and say, "Hey Coulson?" The other man stops and turns around. "I… um, well, I guess." He clears his throat. "Right. Uh, thanks. Thank you, I mean. For …. " Tony gestures around. "That."
Phil Coulson rolls his eyes. "Uh-huh. Right. I'll tell Pepper to give you a pat on the head later," and he walks out.
Tony can only snort and get up. He has a boyfriend to find and magically turn into a fiance. He finds Steve in the training room, beating the stuffing out of a punching bag. Clint's in the corner, warming up with Natasha while Phil watches and Bruce is sitting in a corner with his Pepper, writing notes in the margins of a book and laughing with her. Thor's in Asgard but that's alright. The others will tell him later.
With one last smile from Phil, he goes up to Steve, who's wiping the sweat from his face and breaks out into a smile upon noticing Tony.
"Hey," Steve says, walking closer.
Tony slips his hand into his pocket and wraps his fingers around the ring. "Hey, so, I've been meaning to ask you something…"
So. I liked it. Peace out and review!