(A.N. Heeeeeey dirkjake lovrs! I recently fell in love with this pairing so I decided to write something 4 it! xD yes it's my first fanfic on this account but trust me I've wrote a lot more. sry if there are any typoes I like to just do rough drafts~~ XDD hopefully I can update daily or every other day so comment and like fuckassas! XD)

They know Dirk was gay ever since he was born…

"Dirk honey, what're you doing with that breadstick?" Said his Mom, Rose Lalond.

Dirk was sucking on the breadstick from it's top and it stuck out of his mouth as he cut his pasta. "I'm eatin a breakstick" say dirk.

"Dear that is mot how you eat it." Rose shook her head and looked to Dave and in that moment they knew Dirk was going to be SO into boys. This bad thing because his sister, Roxey, did not like the gay. She liked the lesbian though cause she was a femints.

Roxey and Dirk faught a lot at home and yelled at each other through separate rooms. This made Dirk really sad because he wasn't as strong as most gays and needed support. But his dad was never around he was too busy making movies about dumb stuff that he didn't care about and poor Dirk was alone with his b*tch sister and Mom who only talked about boirng crap.

He decided to try omegle because he could maybe get lucky but all he found was dicks.

He liked them but still wasn't happy.

Dirk sat down to watch his favorite anime, Boku no Pico episode three, and sighed to himself. He wished he could find love, because love was beautiful. He loved animes and always wanted a love like Madoka and Homura-chan, or That Sailor moon b*itch and the guy. He then suddenly noticed he was late for school! He scarfed down his breakfist and headed towards the door, but not before Roxey showed up.

"Where do you think you are going, Dirk?"

"R-Roxey-chan please let me go to school, I need my education." He whimpered. She laughed whole-heartedly.

"Not unless you drive me and my girlfriend to the mall."

"B-But you have a car, can't you drive yourself?"

"NO."

"Weeeeh! Ok, ok! I will drive you, Roxey-chan."

"Good and stop saying Roxey-chan it's just Roxey you fucktard." She then left in a dash and Dirk was alone once again. He walked to school and sat on a blue bench.

"Hello Dirk." Said His friend, Umbrage, as he sat next to him. "I would like to play a game."

"Not right now, Umbrage-chan. I am busy sulking."

"Why sulking?" Umbrage said while rolling his scarlet eyes. Dirk blushed a little underneath his glasses and sighed longingly.

"I do not have a lover and my sister hates me."

"I could be your lover, Dirk." Umbrage said while resting his hand on Dirk's red hot cheek.

"NOOOOOO." Dirk exclamined. "YOU DO NOT MAKE MY OCHINCHIN GO DOKI DOKI!" Dirk began weeping because he wanted his friend to be happy but he did not like his friend that way. Umbrage bit his thumb and sobs quietly. "I just wanted to play a game," He whispered. "Not this, never this." Umrabge got up and left with only some of his seme dignity in tact.

Dirk had no dignity so he stood up and ran as fast as his little feet could carry him.

"WHOOOA!"

"Oof!"

Dirk collapsed from a large collision with another boy. When Dirk looked up he saw a green eyed boy with black framed glasses, large muscles and adorable buck teeth. Dirk looked away quickly and stood up again.

"S-Sorry…" He said quietly, daring to look up to the stranger again.

"It's not a thing, mate. Are you okay?" The man handed Dirk his books back.

"Uh… yes… thank you…" He looked at the ground, his face bright red again. His kokoro beated at the speed of a drum.

"Well okay then. My name's Jake by the way, Jake English, I'm the new exchange student."

"To West Austin HiiiGHH?" Dirk gasped. This boy was going to his school! His face got even redder because his voice cracked from nervousness. Jake chuckled and nodded.

"I moved here with my girlfriend, Jane Crocker."

Dirk's face went blank. This is not how his perfect yaoi should go! But a simple uke like him could do nothing about this… he wasn't… terrible enough… Dirk sighed and looked at the ground. While his kokoro was still doking he didn't have any more words, so he just walked away. Jake gave him a sad and confused look before continuing with his day as well.

Dirk did not see him for the rest of the day, but thought about him. "I have to see him again. Jake…" He said silently to himself while swooning at the boy's name. He was so perfect…..