Life's Little Games
AN: Ok. I have finally decided to try a song fic. It's based the book/ movie and the Outsiders series.
I detect it to my best friend who was killed a few years ago. I can recall watching her die in the hospital, and being helpless to do anything about it.
Please feel free to leave a review. Thanks for reading.
Disclaimer. I don't own the Outsiders. The lyrics belong to the song 'I love the way you lie' by Rihanna and Eminem.
[ Rihanna]
Just gonna stand there and watch me burn.
Well that's alright because I like the way it hurts.
Just gonna stand there and here me cry.
Well that's alright because I love the way you lie.
I love the way you lie
Johnny had been asking for his buddies, as he lay there in the hospital bed unable to move. He hurt a lot and couldn't feel anything at all from his waist down. It was hard for Johnny to talk. It was hard for him to breathe.
"How are they treatin' ya in here, kid?"
It was Two-Bit, and Johnny was glad to see that he had brought Ponyboy with him. At least he was ok.
"Got your picture here in the paper. You're a hero. Look at that."
"Yeah, that's tough enough," Johnny finally said.
He really wasn't all that interested in it. It didn't mean anything. Greasers would always be greasers, and socs would always be socs. No matted how everyone tried to sugarcoat it, Johnny knew that the injuries he suffered where great. He guessed that somewhere deep down, he always knew that he was destined to die young.
[ Eminem ]
I can't tell you what it really is.
I can only tell you what it feels like.
And right now there's a steel knife in my windpipe.
I can't breath but I still fight all that I can fight.
As long as the wrong feels right it's like I'm in fight.
High off on love, drunk from my hate;.
It's like I'm huffin' paint and I love it.
The more I suffer, I suffocate.
Johnny was dead. The only thing he had ever loved and the only thing that could be possible of ever breaking him was gone. Dallas couldn't take it. He had to get some air.
"Johnny's dead," Dally spoke to Darry through the phone both as he heard distant sirens coming for him. "Meet me at the park, and hurry," Dally almost pleaded.
He never pleaded. Not him. Not the invincible Dallas Winston.
This was it. This was Dally's only chance the see the gang one last time before he forever joined Johnny in the afterlife.
He dropped the bag of money he was carry from the gas station he had just robbed. He wouldn't be needing it where he was going.
The sirens were getting closer. The fuzz was catching up to him. It wouldn't be long now. The cops got out of their cars and positioned their guns.
But Dally wouldn't be going to jail; not any more. He took out his unloaded heater, and bluffed the cops as he pretended to assault them. Just as he expected, had even planned, the bullets immediately began to fly.
"Dallas! No! Stop! He's just a kid!"
Dallas heard Darry yelling as he fell to the ground. He was loosing blood fast, and everything was starting to get dark. The last thing had saw was the petrified look on Ponyboy's face.
"Pony," Dallas moaned as he took his last breath of life.
Dally loved Johnny, but what he hadn't counted on was that he now had brotherly feeling for Pony too. Maybe it was from all that time they had spend together up at Jay Mountain. He did Ponyboy his leather jacket after all.
Right before I'm about drown, she resuscitates.
Me she **** hates me, and I love it, wait!
Where you going?
I'm leaving you.
No you ain't.
Come back.
We're running right back.
Here we go again, it so insane.
"I see you got your rings back, Dal," Johnny noticed.
"That little broad was two- timin' me again while I was in jail. It's cool though.," Dally said as he blow a puff of smoke off his cigarette.
Dally didn't look directly at Johnny. He knew about Silvia sweet-talking him. How dare that bitch touch him? Johnny wasn't like the rest of them. Dally had decided that long ago. He was more like Ponyboy. Just nobody knew it yet.
Dally had been madder than he had ever been when he found out she had out it had been Johnny. He could handle all the other guys. They couldn't fight worth beans really. But the fact was that you just didn't go after a guy's best buddy.
Aside from calling her every name in the book, Dally had hit her something awful. He usually wasn't quite so violent with his girls, but the cards on the table became a different matter when it involved Johnnycakes.
Dally walked off to who knows where, and Ponyboy noticed a strange, almost panicked look in Johnny's big, black, puppy-dog eyes.
Because when it's going good it's going great.
I'm superman with the wind in his back.
Darry looked at the last piece of mail. It had been the one he had been so anxious to get, and at the same time he was completely dreading it.
He took the letter opener to slit the seal. Severance pay. Well it was money, a little, and just another dead end.
How was he going to explain this to his two younger brothers? He didn't know how, or what he would do if he didn't get another job before the state found out.
He needed to get some fresh air, something to do while he figured out his next step. Darry got up from the table and headed out the door.
Ponyboy picked up the thin skip of paper, but Sodapop took it from his hands. He looked at Pony with a worried expression upon his face.
"It's a check from the Louis guy," Soda said slowly. "It's severance pay."
"He was fired? Darry?" Ponyboy asked shocked.
Ponyboy couldn't believe it. He couldn't believe what he was seeing right in front of him. How could they fire Darry? There wasn't a better man in Tulsa.
"You know, we never think about him having any problems," Soda said. "He's always Superman to us."
This Louis guy was a real jerk. No wonder Darry had been is such a bad mood lately. He didn't want to worry them with what was coming.
She's Lois lane when and it's bad, it's awful.
I feel so ashamed, I snap "Whose that due?"
I don't even know his name.
"If you get a girl pregnant, you have to take responsibility for it," Darry's words rang in his ears.
To say that Sodapop felt terrible was like saying Grand Canyon was just a little whole in the ground.
She had said that he was her first. Sandy had told him that the baby was his, and now he found out that she had been cheating on him along with none other than a soc.
She had played him for a succor. Well, there were a million of them in the city.
I laid hands on him, I never stood so low again.
I guess I don't my own strength.
"Ponyboy. I didn't mean to," Darry called as he watched his baby brother run out the door.
He couldn't believe it. He couldn't believe what he had just done. He had hit Ponyboy. He had actually laid hand on his own brother.
Darry cared more for Ponyboy than anyone else in the world. He was so afraid of loosing him, and now this happened. What was the matter with him.
He really didn't mean to hit him, he just lost control. His anger managed to get the better of him because he was so scared. He had even bigger worries now. Should he go after his brother, or let him cool off a little first in hopes that he'd return home?
[ Rihanna Chorus ]
"Can I get you anything, Johnny," Two-Bit asked him.
"The book, man. Can you get another one?"
"I think he wants a copy of Gone with the Wind so I can read it to him," said Pony. "Can you go down stairs and get a copy?"
Johnny really didn't care one way or another about the book. He didn't know if he'd live long enough for Pony to finish it. He just wanted Two-Bit out of the room so he could have a few final words with his best friend.
"I don't want to die, man. It ain't long enough. Sixteen years just ain't long enough," Johnny said.
"No," Ponyboy protested. "You're gonna be fine. You have to be. We can't get along without you."
"I'll never walk again," Johnny continued," not even on crutches."
[ Eminem ]
You ever love somebody so much, you could barley breath when you with 'em?
You meet, and neither one of you even know it hit 'em.
Got the warm fuzzy feeling, yeah them chills used to get 'em.
Now you getting **** sick of lookin' at 'em.
"Now listen to me. When Darry yells at you like that, he don't mean nothing. He's just got a lot of responsibilities, and he ain't used to them. He loves you a lot," Sodapop told Ponyboy as they lay in bed.
"Sure," Ponyboy said, even though he really didn't believe him.
Darry, love him? Darry didn't love anyone. The gang had to be wrong.
"If you shut up, I'll tell you something," said Soda. "Don't tell Darry though," Soda said trying to make his little brother feel better. "I think I'm gonna marry Sandy."
"You in love with Sandy?" Ponyboy asked as if that wasn't obvious. "What's it like?"
"It's real nice."
It was all Soda could say. He didn't think Ponyboy was old enough to know the truth. He did love Sandy, and because of that love she was no pregnant. He didn't want to think about what Darry would do to him. Ponyboy better not tell Darry.
You swore you'd never hit 'em, never do nothing to hurt 'em.
Now you're in each others face spewing venom in your words when you spit 'em.
"What is Darry gonna say?" Ponyboy said as he left Johnny at the lot.
Ponyboy didn't know what time it was, but he knew he was late. He's get it for sure now. He tried to think positively like his teachers always told them in class. Maybe Darry would be asleep. Yeah, it could happen.
As he neared the front of the house he saw Darry waiting up for him with Sodapop asleep on the couch. No such luck there.
"Where have you been? Do you know what time it is!" Darry yelled as soon as he saw Ponyboy walk through the door. "It's two o' clock in the morning, kid."
"Hey, Pony. Where you been?" Soda asked sleepily as he woke up from hearing Darry shout.
"I fell asleep in the lot while I was talking to Johnny," Ponyboy told them.
"You what?"
"You hear 'em Darry. Come on Pony, let's go to bed. He said he didn't mean to," Sodapop defended him.
"You hush up. I'm tired of you always sticking up for him!" Darry yelled at Soda.
"Don't you yell at him!" Pony yelled at Darry.
You push, pull each others hair, scratch, claw, bite 'em.
Throw 'em down, pin 'em, so lost in the moments when you're with 'em.
It's the fate that took over, it controls you both.
So they say, you're best to go your separate ways.
Guess that they don't know ya cuz today.
That was yesterday, yesterday is over and it's a different day.
Sound like broken records playing over.
He didn't know why he was doing it. He didn't know why he was helping his drunken friend drown a fourteen-year-old kid in a water fountain in the park.
Because he was a soc that's why, and socs beat up on the greasers.
He couldn't go against his friends, but if he had maybe Bob would still be alive. Randy thought he should have said something, done something. How he wished that he had, but it was far too late now.
But you promised her, next time you'd show restraint.
You don't get another chancier.
Life is no Nintendo game, but you lied again.
Now you get to watch her leave out the window.
Guess that's why they call it "window pain."
"This is crazy. You don't have to go. I want to do right by you," Sodapop pleaded as the conductor called for people to start boarding the train. "I want to marry you, weather it's mine or not."
"Well that's the thing, Soda," she told him sadly. "I no it's not, but I wasn't lying. You were my first."
Sodapop watched her get on the train. He wondered how anyone could hurt their own daughter. It happened all the time to the gang sure, but he didn't realize what happened to girls. He held her hand, until the train moved out of his reach.
[ Rihanna Chorus ]
"Johnny," the nurse said his name gently. "Your mother's here."
"I don't want to see her," Johnny said flatly.
"She's your mother," the nurse pointed out the obvious. "She's here to see you."
"I said I don't want to see her! She's probably here just to tell me how much trouble I'm causing and…"
Johnny passed out. It was true though. Why would he want to see a woman who completely ignored him and let his father beat him all the time. Johnny was glad he was an only child, for he would never wish such abuse on anyone else.
[ Eminem ]
Now I know we said things, did things that we didn't mean
And we fall back into the same patterns, same team
But you're temper's just as bad as mine is you're the same as me.
Ponyboy stumbled around town in some bad daze getting honked at by the people who nearly ran him over. He didn't even care if he made it home late and got in trouble again with Darry. Johnny was dead. That was all that mattered, and the world seemed to be clueless about it.
"Hey, Pony. Where you been?" Darry asked.
Here this was happening all over again, but this time something was different. This time Johnny was dead, and Dallas was going to finally break.
"Johnny's dead," Ponyboy was able to squeak out the words.
"Ponyboy," Darry said more gently.
No one had really understood how bad off Johnny really was. They all tried to think that Johnny was now in a better place, but it wasn't helping very much.
His brother's tried to comfort him, but Ponyboy didn't feel like being comforted like a baby just then.
"Don't touch me," Pony yelled instead.
There was something else. Something he had to tell them before it was too late. Dally, that was it.
"Dallas couldn't take it. He gonna break," Ponyboy told them.
As if on cue, the phone began to ring.
When it comes to love you're just as blinded.
Baby please come back, it wasn't you.
Baby it was me.
Maybe our relationship isn't as crazy as it seems.
Taking out his frustration, Soda slammed the door of the truck so hard he thought he truck was going to break.
"You're not mad at me are ya?" Ponyboy asked.
"No, Pony. I'm not mad at you," Sodapop said.
That made him feel even worse. He hadn't realized that Ponyboy had been standing there watching him, and now he thought that he was made at him. Could things get any worse?
"Let's talk it out, like we always do," Ponyboy suggested.
They sat together on the front steps. Well, Ponyboy was growing up now, and he would find out sooner or later. He went nothing.
"I was with this girl," Sodapop began. "We were foolin' around, and we went all the way. Now she tells me she's pregnant."
Ponyboy stared at his brother. Soda got a girl pregnant. He was just seventeen years old. That was way too young to be a father.
"Well, what are ya starin' at?" Soda snapped at Ponyboy. "It happens all the time, doesn't it? She's a good girl. Things just happen."
Ponyboy was silent. Sodapop felt bad after that. He usually didn't talk that way to his little brother.
"What you gonna do?" Ponyboy asked quietly.
"Beats the heck out of me, Pony," was Sodapop's only reply.
Maybe that's what happens when a tornado meets a volcano.
All I know is I love you too much, to walk away though.
Come inside, pick your bags off the sidewalk.
Don't you hear sincerity in my voice when I talk?
Told you this is my fault, look me in the eyeball
Next time I'm pissed, I'll aim my fist at the drywall.
Next time? There won't be no next time
I apologize, even though I know it's lies.
Ponyboy heard the ding of the elevator doors open, followed by the sound of Sodapop's voice.
"Ponyboy," Soda said as he pulled his little brother into a strong embrace.
Ponyboy didn't think he was ever so glad to see his brother as he was then, right at that moment. But what about Darry?
"Pony," Darry started, but it was all that he could mage to get out.
He was so shamed of himself. He had hit his baby brother. How could he have done that? If he had found out that any one of the gang had ever dared to hit Ponyboy, he would have killed them.
"I'd thought we'd lost you like we did Mom and Dad, Darry began to sob uncontrollably.
He had tried so hard to keep his emotions and tears at bay. He was to them Superman after all, but they just flowed out.
"I'm sorry Ponyboy," Darry said.
Now Ponyboy understood what Johnny and the rest of the gang had been telling him. Darry did love him, and more than he would have ever imagined.
I'm tired of the games, I just want her back.
I know I'm a liar.
If she ever tries to **** leave again, Ima tie her to the bed and set this house on fire.
Just gonna…
Dally slapped her hard across the face. It left a very visible mark. Silvia was starting to cry. Dally knew it was because he was hurting her, but he had had it with her. Enough was enough.
Dally wasn't stupid, and he had always suspected her of fooling around with other guys behind his back. But Johnny was the last straw. He had dealt with the other guys just like he was dealing with it now.
The bruises on Silvia's face and body were starting to turn colors. They were through, and Dally was going to make sure that Silvia learned her lesson good.
[ Rihanna Chorus ]
"Looks like Dally's gonna be alright; and me and Darry are getting along real good now."
Johnny had to smile at that. He was glad when Two-Bit came back with a copy of the book. He wanted to leave a final message in it to Ponyboy. He asked the nurse if she would give it to Pony after he died. He knew his end was near.
Johnny hoped the gang made good in the ruble. He knew Pony'd be fightin' for him for sure if Darry let him. He wasn't sure about Dally though. Would being the hospital really stop the toughest hood from fighting?
Finally, it was time. Johnny had managed to make peace with himself, and was ready to join his forever eternal bliss with the Lord Jesus Christ. He had to remember to thank Pony for always dragging him along to church.
He knew it was worth it saving those little kids. Their lives had more value to them than his ever wood.
He was happy to see his very best friends, Ponyboy Curtis and Dallas Winston for the last time as the both stood beside him talking. Everything was going to be ok. The happiness would one day be restored.
"Stay gold Ponyboy. Stay gold."
They were Johnny's final words and wishes as his soul departed for heaven, leaving only a broken and battered body behind.
