So this is my take on what could have happened after FFVII.

The Month, Day, Year works like this:

Months: XA - XZ

Days: XA - XZ YY, YZ, ZZ

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters from Final Fantasy VII

Month XX Day XX Year XXXX

Why is it that others' wrongs can cause so much damage? It was Gast's, Hojo's, and Lucrecia's wrong that led to his insanity.

Jenova Project … all Gast was trying to do was create a Centra but the thing they had found, Jenova, wasn't a Centra but "the calamity from the skies." Gast … after learning the truth from his wife Ilfana, the Centra besides their child Aerith, abandoned the Jenova Project and Shinra. The Jenova Project then fell into the hands of Hojo …

Lucrecia … she allowed it … allowed her fellow scientists to inject the J-cells into her unborn child at the beginning of her pregnancy. In the end she abandoned that child because of her massive guilt towards what she did to Vincent and because of the visions of the future she got. Visions that showed what her son would do … what he would become. She didn't stay and even try to change that future she saw …

Hojo … Hojo had many wrongs … probably more than I could count. Hojo became the head of Shinra's science department and lead scientist in the Jenova Project after Gast left. He was the one who "raised" the child abandoned by Lucrecia …

All these three made him who he was, an experiment, and no one ever told him.

Month XX Day YY Year XXXX

I saw that scene again in my dreams. The one where I kill him. I know then I did it in hatred and to save the planet … but now I feel nothing but regret. Now that the hatred is gone I realize that he needed to be saved just as much as the planet. He was never in control of his life … first Shinra controlled him and then Jenova. He could never break free of the chains that held him. When he broke free of the Shinra's chains, he was put into Jenova's chains though he didn't notice the new ones in his insanity.

Month XX Day YZ Year XXXX

Tifa tells me to forget him, but how can I when he had always been what made me carry on? I tried to join SOLDIER because of him …. Because I wanted to be strong like him. And because he had burned down Niebelhim , my hometown, five to six years ago, I pursued him when I found him to be alive. Saving the planet had only been a side mission to me … back then killing him had been my ultimate goal. And now without him, I have no drive to do anything. I don't know what to do with myself anymore.

Month XX Day ZZ Year XXXX

I visited Northern Crater, his grave, again today. It was my 15th visit this month … the first few months after his death I only visited once a month to show respect for the general he once was … but now, after 20 months, I'm up to 15 visits. It's only a matter of time until it becomes daily visits. Tifa is of course concerned about my visits … says that it's not healthy. Everyone else is shows concern too … well except for Vincent, Nanaki, and Cid.

Month XY Day ZZ Year XXXX

Tifa has me working a delivery service now, which is why I haven't been able to write in this in a month. I think she thought it would stop me from thinking about him and make me unable to visit his grave as often, but she overlooked the long rides to and from the delivery point. Also I'm willing to admit that after each delivery I go visit the Crater. … I ended up visiting 18 times this month.

Month XZ Day XA Year XXXX

The Lifestream. It's the place where all living things return to in death. When a soul returns there it doesn't fade within the Lifestream but treats it as a resting spot where it can recover until it inhabits a new body. If he's reborn while I'm still alive, I'd take care of him … I would never let anything bad happen to him. Aerith promised me that she'd tell me when he is reborn. … If Tifa ever figures out that I plan to do this … she'd probably rant about how it isn't me who wants to do it but his cells inside me that want me to … that I'm no longer his puppet … knowing this is why I don't intend to tell her …