*Important* - Slight AU. Uther married Catrina (troll) and Arthur no longer holds his position as heir to the throne. He didn't have anywhere else to go so he moved in with Gaius and Merlin. Together, Merlin and Arthur serve Uther and Catrina. Arthur knows Merlin has magic. Sort of a Crack!fic, sort of not. Thinking about making it into more than a one-shot. Read, Review and Enjoy!

"Wake up you clot pole! We're already late!" Merlin shouted, yanking the thin blanket they shared off of Arthur while simultaneously pulling on his boots.

"Mmm. 'S too early. Go away Merlin." Arthur mumbled. He'd rolled over so his face was smashed against his pillow, making it nearly impossibly to clearly decipher what he was saying. After spending nearly three years with Arthur, Merlin easily heard it, "I'm having trouble waking up. Shove a toad in my face Merlin."

So that's exactly what Merlin did.

He layed down on his stomach and reached under his bed, rummaging around until he found a small wooden chest. Pulling it out and quietly opening it, he whispered "padde." He didn't even bother waiting until his eyes had purged themselves of the gold and transformed back into their brilliant blue, he just grabbed ahold of the croaking toad and rubbed the slimy amphibian all over Arthur's face.

Arthur's eyes popped open as he slapped away the toad. He sputtered and spit as he struggled to sit up, trying fervently to rid his mouth of the taste of dirty lake water and musty fish.

"I should put you in the stocks for that you – you – you dollop-head!"

"Put me in the stocks for what?" Merlin questioned innocently. His mouth barely turned up at the corners as he attempted to hold back a grin that was sure to crack his face.

"For rubbing a frog all over my face you idiot!" Arthur yelled, rubbing his face with Merlin's dirty purple tunic that had been discarded carelessly on the floor.

"Arthur?"

"Yes Merlin?" Arthur ground out. He definitely was not a morning person, and right at the moment he was picturing Merlin being strangled with his neckerchief.

"It wasn't a frog."

"What? I think I'd know Merlin. I was the one who had to deal with a face full of frog!"

"Nope. It wasn't a frog."

"Fine. What was it Merlin?" Arthur rolled his eyes and pulled on his boots.

"It was a toad." Merlin grinned cheekily, knowing he'd succeeded in not only waking Arthur up but also gave the irritating prat a taste of his own medicine.

Arthur's hands stopped, they hovered near his belt – where his sword used to be. "I'll show you a toad!" He growled, lunging for Merlin.

Merlin however, was completely expecting it and rolled to the right – Arthur, not anticipating this, ran nose first into their wooden door.

Gaius heard the commotion and came bumbling in still holding a wooden spoon that was dripping with their breakfast stew. "Oi! That's enough!" He shouted, thumping each boy on the head with the spoon.

Merlin winced and rubbed his head. He frowned when Arthur started laughing, "What?"

"You have stew in your hair!"

"I don't see how having stew in my hair is that funny." Merlin grumbled, crossing his arms over his chest.

"It looks like a bird relieved itself on your head!" Arthur gasped, holding his sides and the tears that rolled down his cheeks mixed with the blood that was leaking from his nose.

Merlin's face was stormy, he muttered "forsuwung" before uncrossing his arms, apparently satisfied.

It was evident that Arthur was still laughing because his shoulders shook with it, but that was it. His voice couldn't be heard – he was completely silent. Arthur realized this and took to shouting at Merlin, unfortunately for him – his words couldn't be heard.

Merlin was snickering when he was thumped on the head again. "Gaius!" He rubbed his head as he glared up at the old man.

"Fix him Merlin." Gaius ordered sternly, although he couldn't fool the boys. They both knew he was attempting to hide a smile of his own.

"Fine. Tólísan."

"Merlin! That's not fair!" Arthur complained, moving to get up off the floor to wipe his bloodied nose on the same tunic he'd wiped the toad slime on.

"What's not fair?"

"I can't just shut you up whenever I want!"

"Why would you want to shut me up? Everything I have to say is important." Merlin replied, pulling his purple tunic out of Arthur's hands and giving him a cleaner one to wipe his face with.

"What exactly are you implying Merlin?" Arthur asked. His voice sounded a bit nasally as he pinched his nose to stanch the bleeding.

"That you're completely full of hot air." Merlin said, grinning as he dashed out of their room, almost running Gaius over in the process.

Arthur took off after Merlin, and tackling him just before he reached the door to exit Gaius' chambers. "I'm full of hot air am I?" Arthur growled, holding his ex-manservant in a head lock and rubbing his knuckles in his stew covered hair.

Merlin kicked his legs and somehow got the upper hand. They rolled around and knocked tables over, only freezing when they heard glass vials shatter on the floor.

If Gaius hadn't been so furious he probably would have laughed at the sight. Arthur still had Merlin in a headlock, but his legs were wrapped around Merlin's slight hips in an attempt to hold him in place. Merlin's face was turning red from lack of oxygen but he still fought. His back was arched and both of his hands were busy pulling Arthur's hair.

Both they boys watched with wary eyes – their eyes were the only things that moved, they still stayed in their ball of limbs – as Gaius walked over to a bookshelf and pulled out the biggest book. Their eyes widened as he approached them.

Before any apologies could be uttered, Gaius smacked them both in the head with the book. "Get out now! You're both late, and now I've got to start my work for the day all over!"

"Gaius -"

"We're -"

Merlin and Arthur attempted to talk at the same time, finally untangling their limbs and making their way towards the door.

Gaius held the book up threateningly and took a step in their direction.

They left without another word, but not before pushing each other in the threshold.

Gaius shook his head and chuckled. "Those boys are going to be the death of me."

Forsuwung - Silence/Silent
Tólísan - Undo
Padde - Toad

I'm not entirely sure these are accurate translations, but whatever. They'll have to do. If you know of a reliable Old English Translator feel free to let me know (:
I don't own the characters or Merlin [the show].
Also, I'm an American trying to use the correct terminology - I know I probably failed. (: