Fugo was dumbstruck.
He had returned to the gang, GioGio had accepted him again, he should have been so happy...
"Everything should be perfect now. Go back to normal.", Fugo thought.
He was trying so hard to reform himself.
But someone was missing. He knew who it was.
His orange headband.. his soft, black hair.. and his luscious lips.
Once Fugo had returned, he asked around for where Abbacchio, Bucciarati, and Narancia were. Giorno couldn't bring himself to break the news to Fugo, so he ended up staying silent while Fugo searched the house. "Where is that little jackass? He's gonna be so happy to see me.. Or maybe mad, now that I think about it." Eventually, Fugo found Narancia's original room. He could tell from the stripe of paint across the wall, reading "Narancia's Room: GO AWAY, FUGO!". He smiled as he opened the door.
"Hey, Nara.. I'm finally ba-"
No response. He noticed that Narancia's bed was unmade; if anything, he was probably hiding from him. He searched under the bed, in the closet, everywhere he could. Starting to get a little worried, he called out his name.
"Narancia? Where are you, you little shit.. I'm home!"
Fugo started to get a little desperate looking for him. He found one of Narancia's headbands on the couch, and continued to look through the living room. He tried to shrug it off as just a coincidence; Nara was hiding from him, that was all. He'll find him, and then they'll hug, and it'll be great-
"Fugo."
Fugo's head quickly turned to meet the new voice. It was Mista, albeit not the one he remembered. Instead of his old blue checkered shirt, he wore a purple beanie that kept his hair up, as well as a brown work shirt with some dirt on it. It looked like he had been working somewhere. His pistol was nowhere to be found, surprisingly enough. But most interesting of all, his face was painted in a solemn look. He was deadly serious with his gaze.
"Ah, Mista! Great to see you again.. What's up?". Fugo questioned Mista and walked closer to him with a smile, giving him a small hug. However, Mista did not hug him back. He gave a small "mhm" and tried to smile, biting his lip weakly. Mista was not here for the pleasantries.
"Fugo... There's something that you need to know. GioGio didn't want to tell you, so he put me to it..." Mista stifled a small sniff as he rolled his neck, rubbing his back awkwardly. Fugo tilted his head and continued to smile, wondering what Mista was talking about. Something told him it was about Narancia. "Oh yeah! Is this about Narancia? I was looking for him.. Have you seen him? He's being a little rascal again..." Fugo tried to smile, even though he was a little worried about him.
"Fugo.. Narancia.." Mista could barely finish his sentence.
"What is it, Mista? You can tell me.. I won't punish him that bad."
In the next five seconds, Fugo's entire world-no, his universe, crashed down around him. Everything that he remembered as truth, would no longer be so. He would forever be scarred by this event. Mista braced himself when speaking, expecting Fugo to yell at him. This was it.
"Fugo.. Narancia is dead. I'm so sorry..."
Fugo's expression quickly changed from one of happiness and slight worry, to total disgust. His eyes widened, and he heard Mista speak after those first lines. He didn't care. To him, they went in one ear and out the other. He couldn't hear. He couldn't see. He couldn't speak. He saw a tear fall down his cheek, and onto the carpeted ground. He felt his hands tremble, although he couldn't tell if it was from rage or from deep sadness at the loss of his friend. Not just his friend.. his student, his lover.
Mista carried him over his arm and laid him down on the couch. Fugo couldn't cry, nor could he scream. All of his anguish was deep inside. He asked himself if he could have prevented it. He asked himself if this was punishment. Some kind of sick joke. He was afraid of his own humanity, and that was why this happened. Narancia's death was his fault. It felt like his skin was melting, his eyes were boiling, and his brain was pushing against his skull. He felt everything meld together in a hurricane of emotions.
The last thing he remembered hearing before getting in the car was Mista's voice.
"Do you want to see him?"
Fugo stared out of the window for the entire car drive. He was told about Bucciarati's and Abbacchio's fates at some point, but he doesn't remember that. All he could think about was him. Giorno had decided to come along as Mista drove the car. Giorno had tried his best to comfort Fugo, someone who he had become incredibly close with.
But Fugo's feelings for Giorno weren't real. He loved him, but.. not as a partner. He loved GioGio for accepting him again. He didn't love him the way he loved Narancia. He couldn't bring himself to betray Narancia like that. Nara knew that Fugo loved him; he even accepted his love near the end of their journey together. He remembered it clear as day.
San Giorgio Maggiore.
The summer of 2001.
The happiest day of his life.
Fugo and Narancia were talking in the bathroom after using the stalls. Narancia was always especially friendly to Fugo, even though they were enemies sometimes. They truly cared about each other, and Fugo could tell. What Fugo didn't expect to happen, was for Narancia to kiss him on the cheek. It was a playful gesture, sure, but Fugo didn't take it that way. Fugo smiled sheepishly, but ended up grabbing the back of Narancia's head, and kissing him passionately on the lips. Narancia reciprocated the kiss with a small whimper.
Fugo remembered what Narancia said to him that day.
"I.. I love you, Fugo."
"I love you."
"love... you..."The memory faded from his mind as the car stopped. He didn't even notice that he had been quietly crying the whole time. With a small chuckle, he took a tissue and wiped the tears from his eyes. He opened the car doors and shook his head, trying to forget. Giorno walked beside him, putting his hand out to hold Fugo's. But Fugo just couldn't. Giorno instead opted to rub his back as he sniffled quietly.
They walked for a few minutes, admiring the beautiful trees that grew nearby. Giorno pointed to an area nearby, and Mista talked quietly with Giorno. Fugo was too upset to understand what they were saying, but from the look of it, Mista would stay behind. Giorno already told Fugo that Narancia had no headstone, and his body was exposed to the open air. Fugo braced himself.
"Fugo, do you want me to go with you?", Giorno asked innocently. But Fugo needed this time to himself. He said nothing, only weakly shaking his head as he walked forward. Giorno took a few steps back, rubbing his eyes as he walked back to the car with Mista. Meanwhile, Fugo continued to walk, seeing nothing else when he opened his eyes besides-
Flowers. Narancia's favorite type. He remembered again.
The beach.
"Narancia, come over here!"
"Gahahaha! You'll never catch me, Fugo! Try to get me!""Alright, what about this?!" He threw his right shoe at Narancia's head, splashing some more water on him.
Narancia walked closer to him. God, that grin. His stupid fucking face...
"I know this is your favorite type of flower.. And I wanted you to have something nice. For everything you do for us..""F-Fugo? You didn't have to.. Thank you so much!"
They hugged as Mista catcalled from across the water.
"Kiss already, you two!"
They both giggled as Narancia whispered.
"Fugo.. I love you..."
"love... you..."
Fugo returned to reality again as he looked over the flowers, finally seeing Narancia's body. He was in perfect form, the same he was when he died. He remembered exactly what he looked like, all the curves of his body, and... His smile. The son of a bitch died with a smile on his face. Fugo felt his knees curling as he fell, but he didn't care. He felt so odd. Happy that he saw Narancia again, but heartbroken that Narancia had.. done this. Nobody gave him the permission to die.
Fugo smiled again as he planted a kiss on Narancia's forehead. Cold. His forehead was cold, and sapped of life. There was nothing left of him that resembled any life he had left. Just that fucking smile. He wished he could lay here forever, and listen to everything that Narancia had to say. It felt as if Narancia was speaking to him from beyond the grave. But he knew that was impossible. Narancia had met his fate, and he could not escape that.
Fugo pulled a flower from his vest, another one of Narancia's favorites. He placed it between Nara's teeth, one of his favorite things to do when they danced.
He felt another memory coming, this time even blurrier than the previous two.
The dance.
His feet stepped in time with Narancia's. He felt Narancia's hand on his shoulder, encouraging him to keep dancing. They were in the middle of the stage, while a somber sonnet played in the background. He felt himself crying, even in his memories. Narancia tried to cheer him up by putting a rose in his mouth. He was being so stupid, but damn it, he loved him for it. And after they were done chuckling, Narancia had something to say again.
"Love you, baby.""love... baby..."Fugo couldn't remember anymore. It hurt too bad. When he looked up again, the sun had set. It was no longer midday, and the sky had turned a dark orange as the sun began to fall off the earth, it seemed. He had been here too long. Everyone was probably worried about him. He stood again, leaving a kiss on Narancia's lips as he left. As he thought about the final moments he had with him, he couldn't help but smile. He got to tell him he loved him. And that was what mattered.
"I love you, you asshole."
He spoke out into the open air as he met with Giorno and Mista again, who had waited worriedly this whole time. He stepped into the car without another word, and they started to drive. When they returned home, Fugo took no time to relax before going up into Narancia's room, sitting on the bed as he flipped through a photo book, sobbing onto it. But still, Fugo continued.
Because Fugo had found his peace.
And that was all he needed.