Every night I
say a prayer in the hope that there's a heaven
And every day I'm
more confused as the saints turn into sinners
All the heroes and
legends I knew as a child have fallen to idols of clay
And I feel
this empty place inside so afraid that I've lost my faith
Show me the
way, show me the way
Take me tonight to the river
And wash my
illusions away
Show me the way
And as I
slowly drift to sleep, for a moment dreams are sacred
I close my
eyes and know there's peace in a world so filled with hatred
That
I wake up each morning and turn on the news to find we've so far to
go
And I keep on hoping for a sign, so afraid that I just won't
know
Show me the
way, Show me the way
Take me tonight to the mountain
And wash
my confusion away
And if I see
a light, should I believe
Tell me how will I know
Show me the
way, show me the way
Take me tonight to the river
And wash my
illusions away
Show me the way, show me the way
Give me the
strength and the courage
To believe that I'll get there
someday
Show me the way
Every night I
say a prayer
in the hope that there's a heaven...
I stood there watching her take her final breaths and I knew there was nothing to be done. She slowly fell to the dirty ground, motionless. I ran to her side, not being able to move earlier. I felt so bad, she watched her daddy watching her die, slowly, painfully. I picked her limp body up in my hands, she was so small. Tears came to my eyes. Why'd you have to die on me?! I told her to wake up, that her daddy was there, but she didn't.
"Shannon...wake up baby. You're too young to die. Honey, daddy needs you here. You're all I have left in this God forsaken place." I let the tears flow. They dripped on her now pale face. I held her to my body, she was still a little warm, but the warmth was fading fast. "Shannon!!!"
"Sandy, where's my kid? It's my weekend!" My ex-wife walked in the door, wanting to take her.
"I'm sorry, Lessy. But she won't be able to come this weekend, or any weekend after." My voice was cracking and the tears still flowed freely from my eyes. Lessy laid her eyes on the child in my arms.
"What the hell did you do to my daughter?!" She ran over, her dies black hair with the red tips bouncing. She lifted the body from my arms. "You killed her didn't you?!?! I knew you were bad news. That judge will pay!!!" At that, she walked out with the body.
"Lessy, come back here! Let me explain!"
"Shut up! And you are to call me Leslie from now on! But you won't have to worry; I'll see to it that you can never talk again!" She slapped me, hard, just before she climbed into her car, setting Shannon's body in the car seat and buckling her in. As she drove off, she flipped me the finger.
"Damn woman..." I walked back into my house. I could still feel the pins and needles in my cheek. I sat in the bed, the one that I put in Shannon's room for when she had nightmares. "Shannon, oh god, Shannon. Why...?" I laid down and floated off into a deep, restless sleep, filled with horrible dreams.
It was pouring the day that Little Shannon lay in that small white bed surrounded in green. You couldn't see her small, beautiful face; they closed the coffin the moment it began to rain. The liquid from the clouds mixed with everyone's tears, so I couldn't tell as I looked around.
"Does anyone have anything to say about little Shannon Wood?" The woman who was talking asked. Lessy raised her hand.
"Yes, I want to talk. She was my daughter, and we all loved her very..." I droned out her talking, so all that was heard was a numb buzzing noise. I began to think back on the day before Shannon collapsed.
FLASH BACK
"Shannon, come to daddy!!" Shannon ran as quickly as she could, jumping into my arms. "That's a good girl, Shannon." I said as I hugged her, stroking her long, full blonde hair.
"Shannon loves her daddy..." She began to cough harshly. I softly patted her back till the coughing ceased. She looked up at me, smiled, and then ran off, screaming: "Come and get me, Daddy!!!" She always loved to play chase, then shed hide and pop put and scare you when you got close.
(End flashback)
I started laughing in the middle of Lessy's speech. "Yes, my dearest daughter's father? Is something funny?" I coughed the most fake cough in the world.
"No, I was just remembering a day with our daughter." I made sure to emphasize 'our'. She continued to drone on and on.
When it was all over, they all went to the dinner to talk about Shannon. I stayed behind, talking to Shannon. "Hi Shannon." I opened the coffin, as it was only misting. I loved how the water droplets collected on her hair. She wore a cute little white dress and her hair was in twin braids, tied together with a little white bow. "You look very nice today, Shannon, I like what mommy did with your hair..." I broke down again; I didn't want to be alive to see my only treasures funeral. I looked to her gravestone. It read: "Shannon Wood December 31, 1998 – January 5, 2003" Below all that was a saying that my grandmother had in her garden.
"It Tears Could Build A
Stairway And Memories
A Lane, I'd Walk Right Up
To Heaven And Bring
You Home Again."
She insisted on putting that there, and I see how it fits.
I said my fair wells as they lowered her into the greedy ground, and I turned to face God in Heaven, saying lowly: "I hate you God, how could you be so cruel?!?" And from then on, I vowed never to seek God again, because he had taken my only reason worth living away.
I was in denial that Shannon was dead. I kept telling myself that she was with Lessy. Speaking of Lessy, she was taking me to court tomorrow for "killing her kid." I'll have to get the doctor notes.
"I sat down in Shannon's room, waiting for Lessy's car to show up. I knew it never would. The rain hit the window sharply, knocking me out of my world. Damn rain, damn life. I got up and walked to the window, watching the rain. Tears stroked my cheeks. Shannon would always stand on a chair and watch the huge water drops fall from the sky.
FLASH BACK
"Daddy, where does the rain come from?" Shannon asked as I walked in her room.
"Well, there's a big faucet that leaks sometimes." She looked at me and smiled in fascination.
"Really?!"
"Yea," I poked her nose. "You wanna know what daddy used to think about the rain?" She nodded her head impatiently. "Well, daddy used to think that when it rained, it was all the angels in heaven going pee-pee!"
"EWWWW!!" She began to giggle.
(End flashback)
"Angels, yea, right. The only true angle is Shannon." I beat the glass, almost breaking it. As I walked away, someone knocked lightly on my door. "Coming!"
I answered the door to reveal a soaking wet Rachelle. "What's up, Chelly?"
"I heard. How come you didn't tell me?" I froze. I forgot about Chelly.
'"Sorry..." I mumbled as I walked away, leaving the door open for her.
"But... we're tight... aren't we?"
"I was about to call you. It's just really tough." I turned on a light, remembering all of them were off.
"But you call me about anything! Like when you and Lessy got the divorce! That was tough on you!" She was really sad, almost crying, or so it sounded.
"Well, this is different!! I said I was sorry!!" I walked into the kitchen, she followed.
"Sandy, you know I'm always here, no matter what!!" I stopped what I was doing and turned to her.
"You were with me when Shannon got diagnosed, right?" I had calmed down a tad.
"Yea...why?"
"I need you to be my witness tomorrow." She nodded.
"All rise for Judge Judy." Everyone in the court room stood, even the camera people stood. Lessy always liked this show, but this lady was a hardcore butch.
"You can al sit down now!" Judy took her seat and put her glasses on. "So, what's going on here?" Lessy spoke before I even had the chance to think of what to say.
"My ex-husband here killed my daughter!" The room gasped.
"He did. Now if she was your kid, why was she with him?"
"She was our daughter." I spoke up.
"Was I talking to you?! NO! So don't talk unless you're talked to!" She turned back to Lessy. "So, she was the outcome of the two of you?"
"Yes, ma'am. We got divorced about 2 months ago, and he won custody."
"Are you telling me what happened? I didn't ask what happened. But continue on."
"Well, I walked into his house this past weekend and he was holding her limp, dead..."She began to cry, I just rolled my eyes.
"Are you rolling your eyes, Mr.?!" I nodded. "O, then you tell me what happened."
"She said what happened truthfully. But she never let me explain."
"HE KILLED HER!!" She hollered.
"Ma'am, please shut up." Turning to me, she stated: "Continue on."
"Well, Shannon, our daughter, was diagnosed with Tuberculosis. I—"
"You gave it to her from all your smoking!!"
"It's not your turn, so be quite." Judge Judy was getting pretty pissed. "Who's this lady over here?"
"This is my witness, Rachelle. She was with me when she was diagnosed." Chelly came to the microphone when Judy signaled to her to approach.
"Ok, Rachelle, are you a witness to his killing her, or just to the girl's diagnoses?"
"I was only there during the diagnoses, your Honor."
"Then step away, we don't need you to talk!" Chelly opened her mouth to speak, but quickly closed it; she knew how bitchy Judge Judy was.
"I have papers!" I popped up. The court case went on and on in this same fashion, --except for the couple of time Lessy tried to kill me-- till the end.
"This case is a waste of my time! You two need to be on Jerry Springer, rather than in my court! I vote that neither of you win. You both suck! Get out of here!" With that, she walked off.
As my case was leaving, Lessy came up to me and Chelly, though Chelly wasn't much help, she was off in her own world.
"You damn bastard! I know you killed Shannon! I don't need some court show to determine that either!" She stormed off, tears running down her cheeks.
"Let's go Chelly." I started to walk off, but Chelly just stood there. "Chelly!" I had to call her name multiple times till she finally moved.
"I'm sorry, I wasn't paying attention." We walked quietly to the car. After we took off, the only thing said on the way to the airport was: "That was a waste of a plane trip." And that was by me. Chelly just looked out the window.
As I walked in the door, I looked around my small, empty, quiet house. "Well, I'd better start cleaning out Shannon's old room." I walked into the first bedroom on the right. I t was cluttered with little toy, chewing rings (boy were those old), blankets from when I slept on the other bed. I knew from past movie experiences that it wasn't good to leave all of Shannon's stuff in here. It would just make life harder.
"I'm gonna miss all this stuff." I pulled in a box from the hall and began throwing stuff in it. Then I picked up a little Shamu whale. It was her favorite toy; she was never apart from it, until now. She died without him and was now buried without him. 'No! I'm not gonna cry, I will not!!' I forced the tears back into my head.
My knee's ached from bending down so much. Now, what to do with all this stuff? I walked in to my room and put it all in there, box by box. Sure, it cluttered up the room, but this was my new living space, and all the boxes made me feel not as alone. It felt like Shannon was with me. I picked up a huge bear me and Lessy had bought Shannon together, before the break up. I wonder what she's doing right now? Ha, she's probably sitting in her car by the car seat crying, or planning how she's gonna get me next! I vote for the latter of the two. Well, maybe both. My heart panged with a mixture pf love and hatred as I thought of this woman.
"Lij? Lij, where are you?" A kind, familiar voice. "Sandy, where in this house are you?" I didn't answer; I didn't want to talk to anybody right now. Well, maybe if it was Shannon's ghost or Shannon herself telling me she wasn't dead, that she was just playing, then maybe I'd talk to someone. My bedroom door creaked open, big brown eyes that were framed in dark brown hair peered in at me. "Sandy..."
"Leave me alone!"
"No."
"Yes!" This went on for a while, till I just didn't answer her. She then walked all the way into my room and sat on the bed.
"Sandy. Talk to me." I still didn't answer her; I just sat as stubborn as a donkey in the hot sun. I pouted as she placed her hand on my head.
"Get off me!" No one was allowed to touch me, not even the girl who was the closest to me. Though in my heart I felt a little enjoyment... NO!!!!! I will not do this to myself... maybe... no. I looked away from the one spot on the floor to another, as if that first spot disgusted me. "I don't want to talk. I want to be alone!"
Chelly lied down on my water bed, right above my head. She began to play with my hair, twirling it in her fingers. I pulled away, walking out of the room. "Sandy! You need to talk." I walked back in the room, picking up a bear with a short that said "Hello Teddy".
"I'll talk to this!" I pushed the button on the hand. "Hello Teddy. My daughter just died and I don't want to talk to anyone but you!" The bear began to laugh and responded:
"You need professional help!" O a lot of good that did me. Chelly began to giggle to herself.
"WHAT?!?!?!?!" I demanded.
"See, even the bear knows you need to talk to someone. So come, talk to me!" I gave in and walked over to the bed side and sat down on the floor.
I walked down the cold wet street, no where to go. I didn't think that talking to Chelly helped much. But no, that stupid bear HAD to agree with her. I had my head down, trying to keep the light drizzle out of my eyes, when I walked head long into a very tall person.
"Watch where you're walking!" I never even looked up.
"Sandy, that you?" The voice was familiar, but I really didn't care.
"Sandy?! You mean Sandy Wood?!?!" There was an unfamiliar girl's voice with him. "Orli, you never told me Sandy Wood was in town!!"
"Hehe. I didn't think you'd want to see him." The voice turned back to me. "Sandy, is that you?"
"Who the hell else would I be?!" I wasn't in the best of moods, and I didn't really care what the hell I said. "I don't think anyone else would walk the streets in the rain without an umbrella!"
The girl laughed a bit. "It's not raining." She kept talking, but I started to walk off.
"Wait, Lij, stop. I'm sorry 'bout Shannon." He knew that'd make me stop. I turned around.
"I don't need your sorrow, ok?" I looked at the girl beside him. She was a little shorter than my 5'6" height, but not much. Her dark brown hair came right below her shoulders and her blue/green eyes shone brightly as a car drove by. "May I ask who you are?"
"I'm—"
"This is Sierra. She's—"
"I'm his fiancé. But you can call me Michelle, if you'd like." She stuck out her had from Orlando's arm. I just looked at it and she pulled it back. "Where you headed?"
I turned around and walked off. "I don't know. And why should you all care?" I think she opened her mouth to speak, but Orlando shushed her, 'cause I heard him say:
"Let him be. He needs time." Their footy steps broke off in the distance. I turned down an alleyway. The girl was right, it wasn't raining; I was all sweaty 'cause my shirt was soaked, but my jacket wasn't. Humph. I sat down against the building wall. Tears washed the sweat off my cheeks.
Damn him, why'd he have to bring up Shannon?!?! From beside me the back door opened and a woman stepped out, followed by the fresh scent of apple pie, I inhaled the sent willingly.
"What the hell are you doing here?!?!"
Lessy walked out the door. "O, I'm sorry, I didn't know that this was your shit way."
"Well, now you do. Now leave!"
"No."
"Tha—WHAT?!?!?!"
"No, we live in America, not some other place where you rule."
Lessy didn't know what to say. I could tell by the look on her face. She always scrunched her nose like something smelt bad. We'd only been married two months and I knew all her faces. Music began to blare from the still open door.
"Lessy, get in here or close the door. I only told you to take out the trash!!" Lessy looked at me, and if looks could kill, I'd be dead.
"I'll be right back out and if you're not gone... I'll...I'll"
'LESSY!!!! GET IN HERE!!!!!" She stamped back inside, slamming the door. She could be so moody sometimes. PMS maybe, but then again, she's like that a lot, but then again I only usually see her once a month... Na
I got up and walked away, I didn't want to suffer her wrath, it could be very venomous. I sighed heavily and headed back home. As I approached the door, I noticed that all the lights were on. Who the hell is in my house?! As I opened he door I could smell a pot roast cooking. What the--?
"Who are you?" A young lady walked out of the kitchen. She had plain brown hair that came to just bellow her shoulders. "Wait, you look familiar..."
"Uhhh... I think I'm in the wrong house."
"Jasmine, come down her!" A girl came flying down the stairs, behind her followed Blink 182 music. "Jasmine, whose he?"
"Uhhhh... do I know you? Wait, you're Sandy Wood!!!!!!" She ran over to me screaming. "O my god!!! Can I go home with you? Or maybe you can stay for dinner!!! Can he momma???? Please?!?!?" She gave her mom a puppy dog face while still clutching me.
"Well, I couldn't impose..."
"Its up to him, I don't care, since you won't be eating the meat we're going to have a lot left over." The lady walked into the kitchen, leaving Jasmine squeezing the life out of me.
"Will you stay for dinner, and then we can take pictures after dinner. My moms a good cook, you'll like her food. O, you don't mind me recording our dinner, do you? I wanna show all my friends that you ate dinner at my house!" She kept talking, but it flew by so fast that I didn't catch on single word. She slowed down a little and asked: "You live next door, don't you?"
"Yea..."
"Can I come live with you? My family drives me crazy. Please?!?!?" She pouted again, looking just like Shannon. I wouldn't mind having her around, but it'd be a constant reminder of Shannon, but... maybe it'll help.
"Ok. But you need to ask your mother!" She ran into the other room, jumping for joy.
The dinner was pretty good, except I was kind of uncomfortable with the camera following my every move. I've never been videotaped while eating... except in movies, and that food isn't all that good. Jasmine begged her mom basically all through out dinner, and when her mom said yes, she began screaming at the camera, turning it away from me.
"YOU HEARD THAT STRAIGHT FROM THE MOUTH OF MY MOTHER!!!! I AM GOING TO LIVE WITH SANDY WOOD!!!!!!! HAHAHAHAHA" Very scary to see someone that worked up. She began to dance around the kitchen, till she noticed that both her mother and I had food hanging out of our mouths, trying not to laugh. "Uhhh... I'll go pack now..." She ran off through the door and up to her room.
Minutes later, Jasmine came down stairs with a large suitcase, papers sticking out of the sides. They all looked like pictures off the internet. We both bid good bye to her mother and walked to the house next door silently. Jasmine broke the silence.
"How could you have lived next door to me, with out me knowing?" I didn't answer. "I mean, I've found all your address on the internet, and never found the one nest to me. THE INTERNET SUCKS A LOT!!!!!!!!" She screamed aloud this last part, letting it echo down the street. She began to giggle. "I love doing that..."
We walked into the house, having gone silent again after her outburst. "Ummm... Ill show you the room you'll be staying in, follow me." She looked around my plain home in amazement. "Here's the room," was all I said as we approached Shannon's old room.
"It's... so... ummm... empty?"
"Yea... you can have which ever bed you want, I don't really care. I used to sleep on the bigger bed sometimes, so—"
"I want that one then." She walked in and jumped onto the bigger bed. If only she knew why I slept on that bed; tears resurfaced as she looked at me. "Are you ok?" She got up and walked over to me, the smile faded off her face.
"Yea, I'm fine." I roughly wiped the tears away and walked away from the room to mine, slamming the door as I entered.
WEEKS LATER
I sat in the living room, looking at a happy picture of Lessy, Shannon, and I, wondering what happened to those days. The door to Jasmine's room opened and she walked into the kitchen, looking for her lunch.
"You want anything?" From her room I could hear Styx floating out. The song struck a nerve:
I'm sailing away, set an open course for the virgin sea I
look to the sea, reflections in the waves spark my memory
I've
got to be free, free to face the life that's ahead of me
On board,
I'm the captain, so climb aboard
We'll search for tomorrow on
every shore
And I'll try, oh Lord, I'll try to carry on
Some
happy, some sad
I stood up in a rage. "Turn that song off!!!! NOW!!!!!" She just stood there, watching me, the song continued to play. "I said: turn it off..." I spat through the space between my front teeth.
"Why? You don't like Styx?"
"It's not that. Just turn the damn song off!"
A gathering of angels appeared above my head
They sang to me
this song of hope, and this is what they said
They said come sail
away, come sail away
Come sail away with me
Come sail away,
come sail away
Come sail away with me
"There's nothing wrong with this song!"
"This is my house, and I want it off! I want the house quiet!!!" She slowly moved towards her room. She stopped. "What are you waiting for?!"
"Tell me what's wrong with this song, and I'll shut it off!" She responded, voice shaking. I wanted to tell her that this was the song I had playing as Shannon hit the ground, the song that was playing when my life fell apart. I walked up to her and grabbed her shoulders, shaking her.
"I want it off now!! I have my reasons; NOW SHUT IT OFF, GOD DAMN IT!!!!!!!!!" I must of looked scary to her, yelling like that, cause she ran to her room as soon as I stopped shaking her, tears flowing down her face. Last thing I heard from her room was silence and little sobs echoing out the door.
I returned to my seat in the living room, looking at the picture. I got up, deciding to fix what I just did, and walked to Jasmine's room. From outside the door, al I heard was computer keys being pressed. But I never put as computer in there. I knocked lightly, no answer, so I walked in. Jasmine lay on her bed, seeming normal, like nothing happened, typing away on a lap top.
"Uhhh...Jasmine?" As I said this, she lowered the top of the computer.
"What do you want?!" She was still angry, but who wouldn't be?
"What's on the computer?" She froze, she was probably expecting an 'ooo I'm so sorry!' or something along those lines, but it never came.
"Nothing that's should concern you!"
"Tell me."
"It's a story, ok?!" She spun around best she could on the bed, her cheeks stained with tears.
"Can I read it?"
"No." Her eyes shot into my heart. "I'm sorry, this is hard to do, ok!! Ok, I'm good. Look, I'm sorry for yelling at you." She ignored me. "I'm going out for a little while, I'll be back later." I walked out of the room, down the hall, and into my car, driving off.
Ye Ole King's Head Pub, just the place I wanted to be. Drink as much as you want and you could forget all your problems. This is where I had my bachelors' party, this is where I was when Lessy and I split, and this is where I am now to forget about the fight today and to forget about Shannon. It sounds mean, I know, but its truth, I wanted to forget about her death. Drink after drink made the hours fly by. Women after woman popped up and left; all of them were mine to play with.
"Hey, buddy, we're closing now, yous gots to go." The heavily overweight bartender told me plainly. "Come on, let's go." He picked me up and ushered me out the door,
I was to drunk to stand on my own feet, so I held onto the wall while I walked to my car. I climbed in and started the car. Something told me not to drive off, but my mind was too numb to notice. I backed off from the wall and swerved into the main street traffic.
I was driving "fine" for a while, and I was almost home, when I sped through the red light, bouncing off one car and into another. I herd screams as all the lights darkened around me. Then it all went blacker than night.
My breath echoed in my empty head as I was being pulled along. I heard snip-its of conversations going on around me, but it didn't make sense.
"...car..."
"...four killed..."
"...only one left alive..."
"Charges will be pressed..."
"...drunk driving..."
That was all I heard before I wandered back into the land called: "My Head."
I was walking down the dark street towards a really bright light. Was I dead? I continued towards it, not having any other choice, and I can't say that I wasn't curious. Laughing came from this light and all the voices were familiar. I picked up my speed, wanting to be reunited with these people.
"Sandy, man, come back to us!" One of the people grabbed y shoulders and shook me softly. "Come on Sandy, come back... come back!!!" I opened my eyes to view blurry figures and another light, but it wasn't as bright.
The figure above me had a kind woman's voice and long light colored hair; she looked really beautiful in the light. "Grandma?" I forced from my lips. My grandma was dead, and if this was her, I was surely dead. The room laughed. I closed my eyes, not able to hear anything.
I was falling and falling fast. It was hot all around my and everything was a bright shade of red. Bright red tongues licked my body, they burnt my skin. I turned over, seeing a heavenly figure above me. "...Shannon...?" The angel giggled.
"No. Guess again..." I looked closer. It looked like...
"...Chelly...?"
"Nope, wrong again!!" The body of Chelly turned into the huge body of Lessy. I was so small compared to her size. Sitting on her shoulder was a little light. I swan towards the light. Lessy's giant finger's stopped me. "No you don't! Shannon's my little girl now..." I was flung across the flames into a huge mixing pot full of boiling water.
I sat up screaming. Well, I started screaming, I couldn't really move I was in so much pain. A nurse hurried into the room, followed by Orli and Dom.
"Are you alright, Sandy?" Orli came over to the bed while Dom stood with his back to me by the chairs. The nurse's voice was familiar.
"Grandma?" No, I wasn't dead. This lovely lady couldn't possibly be my grandma.
"No, it's me, Sierra. I'm not your grandma." I looked over to where Dom was, he seemed to be fighting with something. "Sandy, don't move you're just going to hurt yourself more." Sierra put her cold hand to my head. "You're hotter than hot coals. I'll be right back with something." I slapped my head down on the flat white pillow, arousing a little painful devil to run down my back. I winced. Closing my eyes, I felt a female hand slip into mine.
"I'm glad he's alright." I knew this voice, but my head hurt too much to open my eyes and look at her. "If he wasn't, I'd have nowhere to live; and God knows that I'm not about to go live with my step-dad."
"What are you talking about?" Orli and Dom asked together, almost.
"My mother was in the crash that Sandy caused. She died in the room next to this one." I couldn't believe it. I killed this girl's mother. My world went black again, and I saw what happened...
My Blazer rammed into the driver's side of silver minivan, the woman driving it screaming loudly. My car then ran into a small Honda, ramming it over into mere scrap metal. I heard a child screaming and footsteps running as I slammed into the windshield; in my drunken state, I forgot to put on my seatbelt.
Looking around, I saw a small hand from below my car, the child's screams louder than before. Then the child stopped, the hand relaxed, and lights, flashing lights, arrived. I heard the sirens, but slightly over the numb buzzing of my brain. 'I killed people!' My body was being lifted and someone shouted that I was alive, just some cuts, and that there was a piece of another car lying square on my back. I then realized that I couldn't feel my legs.
"Sir, can you hear me?" A gentle voice called loudly. I tired to get up, but I couldn't. I listened to the others, not to this lady. The first woman I hit, they said she might survive. But the second car, everyone died, including the 5 year old kid. That was the hand, the little hand that was crying from beneath my car. I tightened my eye lids and refused to listen to anything else.
I began to shake. "Sandy!" Doctors and nurses ran into my room, Sierra was telling the other three to leave. There I was again, in the black tunnel, walking towards a bright light. I stopped, looking backwards. There was another bright light, but it was moving, that was me, in the hospital. I didn't want to die.
"Daddy!" A little girl's voice echoed from behind me. "Daddy!" I felt hands wrap around my waist. This was a dream, I told myself, I am not dead. I opened my eyes, I had stopped shaking. The room sighed with relief. Then I went into dreaming again.
When I woke up, after what seemed like minutes, someone was humming a tune I'd never heard before. Then a voice, it was a little hoarse, began to sing from it. "I know when I've lost it all; when the sun won't shine on my life. The rose in the jar has begun to fall, its water muggy and dark. A tear falls from the dark sun, causing the rose to fall to shattered bit on the ground, but life will—"
"I thought I heard someone singing in here!" This other voice was new to me. I slowly opened my eyes to see. A heavyset woman in a white outfit stood next to Jasmine, whose eyes were bloodshot. The lady turned to me, her eyes were hazel and her hair that framed her face was dark brown, almost black. "I see you're finally awake. We didn't think you were ever going to come out of that coma spell you fell into. The nurse walked over to me, feeling my head. "Ahh, you're back to normal temperature. You should be able to leave in a few days. If u want, you can get out of bed." I nodded. "OK, I'll go get your wheelchair." She walked out of the room.
"Wheelchair?" My voice was week.
"Yeah, from the accident. When you hit the second car, something happened, and now you've been paralyzed from the waist down."
I sat confused. Did I hear her right? "What did you say?!" My voice was scared, that was my worst nightmare: not being able to act anymore. Jasmine poked my legs, numbness; I felt nothing but pins and needles. She looked at me, not wanting to say it again.
"You're paralyzed from the waist down." At that moment the nurse walked in with the spanking new chair on wheels. Jasmine backed away so that the wheelchair could park next to my bed.
"You're friends took the liberty to buy you a chair while you were in a coma. Ok, let's get u in this chair." The woman bent down and slid one hand delicately behind my back and the other under my knees. "Sweetie, move the chair so I can set him in there." I felt like such a child. But I still found it strange that I couldn't feel the nurse's soft touch under my knees. The chair was hard against my back.
"It hurts."
"It'll loosen up soon." Her voice was sweet like honey. "It's new, ya know." I smiled, trying to readjust myself, unsuccessfully. "Well..." As she began to talk, the P.A. came on:
"Will Nurse Samantha please report to room 135. Will Nurse Samantha please report to room 135. Thank you." The voice was an annoying high pitched woman's voice.
"Oh, will you two excuse me; I've got to be somewhere." She smiled lightly and left the room.
"So, where to?" Jasmine's voice came from behind me as the chair began to move. I just shrugged and began to ponder how I was going to get money while being paralyzed.
We wondered around the white floor for what seemed like hours on end. Up and down, back and forth. All the whiteness started to get to me. "Is there any more colour? All this white is hurting my eyes." My voice was full of melancholy, but my mood cheered up a little when laughing came from behind me. "What?!" More laughter added in to the one person. I turned around as best I could, but it didn't work very well, I just fell out of my chair. Everyone behind me burst out laughing.
I sat up rubbing my butt, which felt like pins and needles. Standing behind my chair was Jasmine and some guy I've never seen before. I automatically felt like I had to do something about this. I owed it to her to be a parent, since what I did. "Who are you?!" I was a little agitated.
"Sandy, this is Ian." She pointed to the man next to her. He had multiple dreadlocks, thick framed glasses, and dark brown eyes. Jasmine and Ian walked around the moving chair, which was now parked, and helped me up and back into it. "He was hit by a truck while riding his bike." I now noticed some semi-deep gashes on his arms and legs.
"Broke a couple of my ribs, that's all" He grabbed the handles of the wheelchair. "Okay, let's go." He pulled off the brakes and started to push me.
"Whoa!! Where are you taking me?!?!" He stopped pushing.
"We're taking you back to your room. The nurse said to." His voice was calm sounding. "She said that you're starting your physical therapy sessions today." Physical therapy? He continued pushing, chatting on and on with Jasmine 'bout different things.
"There you guys are. The therapist has been waiting for over 15 minutes for you all!!" The nurse came out of the room and took the chair. "Come on now Mr. Wood, time to get you walking again!" This made me very confused.
"Walking...again??" The nurse chuckled.
"Yes, again, you're only paralyzed temporarily." I shot a look over at Jasmine, who tried to look innocent. "Will you two go out in the hall, we need all the room we can get for now." They walked out and I could hear laughing as I moved my legs painfully. Every time the therapist moved the machine I let out a scream of pain.
"I think that's all for today." He said after like an hour. He folded up his paper. "I'll be back tomorrow to do more exercises. We'll carry on this way for about two weeks. Then it'll be every other day. Good evening!" He walked out of the room. Never was I more glad to see someone leave...well there was Judge Judy, I was glad she was gone. I lied back on my bed with help from the nurse.
"You go to sleep now; you need to rest up, honey." She walked out of the room and turned the lights down low and I faded into sleep as I watched two figures creep past my door.