Author's Note: Just to say, this is my first Constantine fic. However, I'm in love with the show and hope they decided to keep it for another season. Before I get into the fic, know that I'm not a registered medical professional and do my best with what I can find at my fingertips. I hope you enjoy it! Please let me know what you think.
1. Stubborn Dabbler of the Dark Arts
"You're sick." Zed sighed, folding her arms. John shot her look, as if questioning her intelligence.
"Wha' gave it away, love?" he muttered sarcastically, rubbing wearily at his eyes. "Don't tell me…" He paused, as if for effect. "You saw it in a vision." He grinned shamelessly, uncorking a bottle of holy water. Zed frowned, narrowing her eyes at him.
"Oh, ha ha." she snapped, taking a few steps towards him. "But, seriously, you're not healthy enough to go running off across the country."
"Oh, sod off. I'm fine." he grumbled, pouring some of the holy water into a smaller container. Zed's eyes caught on the way his hands shook, the water sloshing softly within the glass bottle.
"I'm just saying, maybe you should push it back a couple days. Make sure you're at a hundred percent." Zed huffed. "No use getting yourself killed because of a little flu."
John turned to look at her, an argument brooding in his eyes. He inhaled deeply, preparing for a lengthy excuse, only to fall into a hacking cough.
"You've got to stay home." she growled.
"I don't have to do anything, love. It's a free country." he shot back, his voice coarse and strained. He threw her a shrug, grabbing his coat as a few more coughs tumbled out of his mouth. "Bloody hell."
Zed folded her arms, carefully masking the concern pressing heavily against her chest. As he pulled his coat over his shoulders, she thought of the fresh flurry of snow fluttering to the frozen ground outside.
"Maybe I should go with you." she sighed, barely tearing her mind from the chilly, bright white world beyond the front door.
"No." he grumbled, carefully setting a few items in his bag for last minute preparation. "I want you to take it slow for a bit."
"Well, you can't go alone. Not like that." she huffed, desperate to keep him from throwing himself into more self-harm.
"I won't be." he murmured. "Chas is meeting me there."
Zed narrowed her eyes in frustration.
"Fine." she groused. "Don't do anything stupid."
He thought about it for a moment, squinting as if he was digging deep into his neural depths. "Eh…can't make any promises, love." he finally muttered, closing his bag with a snap before heading up the spiral staircase with a wheezy pant.
Zed's head began to swirl with second thoughts, even as the front door slammed closed. She took a few steps forward, contemplating whether she should run out after him. With a sudden shake of her head she was already running up the staircase to beg him to stay.
Zed had only made it halfway up the stairs when she heard the sound of an engine and the hum of a vehicle driving away. She dropped her head with a heavy sigh, glumly dragging her feet back down the steps.
One of these days, John was going to get himself killed.
-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-
Zed frowned at the charcoal drawing in front of her. Oddly, she'd drawn a picture of Chas. Honestly, she hadn't been paying too much attention, too wrapped up in pointless strings of thought. She didn't like being left behind. Especially when John was clearly incapacitated by illness.
For the past three, agonizing days she sat on the couch, attempting to find things to do to pass the time. Books had become too slow, art too tedious. It was a painful, torturous waiting game. She hadn't heard from Chas and John was never much of a communicator, despite how much he liked to ramble sometimes.
With a huff, she dropped her sketchbook to her lap, her eyes roving slowly over the quiet millhouse. She thought about going outside, but then remembered the frigid air blasting her face from the last outdoor adventure. It was still snowy and freezing, just as it'd been for the last few weeks.
At least it would give her something to do.
She let the idea sit for a moment, allowing it time to convince her of its merits. Zed supposed there was no harm in it. It would definitely justify a cup of hot cocoa.
A jolt zapped her body as the front door angrily swung open. She shot up from her seat, alarmed that she hadn't heard anyone drive up. It was a surprise she hadn't been expecting and wasn't certain if she should prepare for friend or foe.
It quickly became apparent who it was that had startled her from her new, boring lifestyle. Slow, heavy steps came down the stairs, a familiar grunt dropping from the higher floor. Chas. Relieved, Zed allowed herself to relax, only to stiffen again as she sensed something very off.
Chas slowly came into view, struggling as he supported a nearly unconscious John Constantine.
John's eyes were half open, a soft cough continually flicking from his lungs. From her place on the lower floor, Zed could hear the unhealthy rattle in his chest, threatening John's air supply.
Exasperated, Zed moved to help Chas, quickly moving to take Constantine's other side. She nearly gasped as his frozen hand brushed over her neck.
"How the hell could you let it get this bad?" she hissed, glaring expectedly at Chas. Chas glanced at her guiltily, moving his gaze straight ahead.
"It wasn't really this bad for the first couple days. I mean, it was…bad…I guess, just not this bad." he explained hurriedly. "But then there was some broken ice…freezing lake water…and you can probably guess what happened from there."
Zed let out a scoff of disbelief, shaking her head angrily. She was angrier at herself than Chas, knowing that she should've forced Constantine to stay in for a few days. Instead, she practically watched him walk out the door, already dead on his feet.
The two of them gently laid John out on the couch, wincing as a particularly ripping cough clawed from John's lungs.
"Get some blankets and pillows." Zed ordered heatedly. Chas immediately shot to his feet and out of sight. Zed sighed, rubbing John's chest for warmth as she seated herself gingerly on the edge of the couch. She pressed her lips together in rising concern, attempting to quell the queasy swirl in her stomach.
John was settled uncomfortably on the edge of unconsciousness, only awake enough to continue his steady stream of coughs. His bare skin was almost painfully icy, shivers trembling feebly through his body. He wasn't wearing his usual garb, instead clothed in a sweatshirt that was much too large for him and some equally oversized sweats. Zed had the feeling Chas had dressed John in whatever dry clothes he had on hand, even if it was his own clothes.
"What have you done to yourself this time?" Zed sighed, smoothly sweeping her hand through his blond hair. She tried not to dwell too much on the pale pallor of John's skin as Chas came trotting back with several blankets and pillows. Grabbing Chas's load from him, Zed quickly went to work, stuffing a pillow under his head before she covered him with a mound of blankets, tucking them in snuggly around his body.
"Keep an eye on him." she huffed, her eyes still lingering on the unhealthy color to John's face. "I'll get him something warm to drink."
Zed tore her gaze from the ill exorcist, making her way purposefully to the small kitchen area. Her movements were abrupt and quick, focusing heavily on her task to keep from sinking into her worry. John was never the type to lie down and die. Even after the exorcism of Pazuzu, he managed to make a crack and offer a weak smile. It was unnerving to see him so quiet.
After settling the kettle on the stove, she allowed herself a moment to contemplate the current situation. It wasn't entirely unexpected, nor was she surprised. The more time she spent with John, the more sense she made of him. He threw himself into ridiculous situations, spurred on by well disguised guilt. She was certain the abuse of his chosen profession made him feel better, like he deserved it.
Although, he had probably never been told that he didn't.
He had so much hardship and blame that sat heavily on his shoulders. To him, he wasn't allowed to take the time to be sick. He wasn't allowed any real rest when there was work to be done. It bothered Zed, the way he wrote off his own wellbeing so easily. And yet, nobody really understood because he hid so cheekily behind jokes and a faux carefree attitude.
She let out a steady breath as the kettle began to whistle, crying for attention. Zed snatched it from the stove, turning off the burner. She poured the hot water into a mug, the preselected tea bag already sitting inside. With another puff of breath, she moved to pull the milk from the refrigerator, eyes glancing at the digital clock impatiently to make sure she didn't let the tea sit too long. She grabbed the honey while she waited, knowing full well that John preferred sugar. Too bad, he was getting honey.
When she was satisfied that the tea was done steeping, she pulled the bag from the mug, pouring just the right amount of milk and squirting honey into the mix. She dutifully stirred her concoction, already on the move to return to the couch.
Chas had pulled up a chair to sit beside his best friend, keeping a close, but worried, eye on the blond. He looked up as Zed approached, moving to gently prod John awake.
"Hey, buddy. You've got to sit up for a minute." Chas pressed softly. Zed heard a groan, though it was strangely raspy and strangled. She winced, her own throat aching in sympathy.
Chas stood from his seat, offering it to Zed instead. She gave him a nod of gratitude, sliding into the chair as she carefully settled her hand on John's stomach.
"John, I need you to drink this. We need to warm you up." she crooned, her brow pulled up sorrowfully. Beside her, Chas moved to help John sit up for a little while as he stuffed another pillow behind the demonologist.
John eyes cracked open, squinting painfully against the dim light of the room. He took a deep breath, the ragged pull of air setting him into another flurry of weak coughs. Constantine hardly had the energy to manage that, despite how badly his body wanted to expel whatever it was that sat in his lungs.
"Here." Zed whispered, offering the mug of tea. He could barely take it with his two shaky hands, eliciting a silent, steadying grip from Chas. Chas helped him take a few gulps, frowning when John barely achieved that small feat.
John's face scrunched up in weak disgust, his weary eyes immediately searching out Zed's.
"Honey?" he rasped, his voice diminished to a nearly inaudible whisper.
Zed nodded, allowing herself a small smirk as she saw a glimpse of the Constantine she knew. "It'll help your throat. Quit being such a baby and drink up."
Zed could swear she saw a small quirk at the corner of his mouth. He continued to sip at the tea, only able to take small mouthfuls at a time with Chas's help. Zed and Chas often exchanged looks in silence, waiting patiently as John finished up his mug.
When he was finished, Zed returned the mug to the kitchen as Chas settled John back down onto the couch. John's eyes were closed within seconds, the ragged breath clawing painfully within him.
As soon as Zed returned, Chas mumbled something about needing to unload the cab and disappeared up the spiral staircase and out the door. She tried to think nothing of it, hoping to chase away the growing panic. Zed was afraid of what Chas saw when looking at his best friend, having known John for much longer. Perhaps he'd seen something there that she hadn't. Perhaps he'd seen something that made all this worse than she could even fathom.
"Why the long face, love?" John whispered, his eyes only slits. Her gaze met his, the glassy dimness of his stare setting her on edge.
"I told you to stay home." she mumbled miserably, pursing her lips in an attempt to hide her concern.
"I'll b'fine." he slurred, slowly blinking as his features relaxed. A few coughs escaped from his chest before his body settled on a deep slumber, pulling what little oxygen it could from the air in painful, long breaths.
"I told you not to do anything stupid." she muttered, dropping her head into her hands. She shook her head, unsure of what to do next. Zed thought vaguely about the hospital, but knew Constantine would rather hole up in the millhouse.
She lifted her head to look at him, watching him sleep amongst the bundle of blankets and pillows. He looked smaller than he'd ever had before, Chas's oversized sweatshirt doing nothing to help. John's face was pinched in discomfort, his body subconsciously pulling the blankets closer around his body as he battled the chill in his core.
Zed sighed, uncomfortable with such a vulnerable Constantine. He was normally so in control. Seeing him this way seemed to press a horrifying reality into Zed's mind: John was just as fragile as the rest of them.
It was easy to forget. After all, he'd shake off everything like it was unimportant. In the first few moment's she'd known him, he'd nearly got himself killed in a supernatural flood of muddy water. It didn't help that a wild coblynau had held him under. Even while hacking out his lungs, he pushed that he was fine, mumbling something about thinking up a spell before she saved him.
But that was John Constantine.
Zed scooted her chair closer, sweeping stray hairs from his forehead. She ran her fingers through his hair, slow and soothing. Zed smiled to herself as the lines on John's face softened, finally relaxing properly.
"Take a break for once." she muttered, letting her hand card through the blond locks.