"You better sit down and rest for a while, go home and take a break." Dr. Wilson told me.
"I think you're right for once." I said, it's not that often you'll hear me say someone is right.
"Have you been taking you're vicodin?"
"Yes, and it's just not working. I'm going home."
Wilson didn't say anything so I walked out. I'm just sitting here at home now watching my soaps and trying to enjoy life without this pain in my leg. I wonder if I will be able to walk again? I mean normal, without any pain. Walking means so many different things though, I mean when you graduate they say you walk with your class. Maybe it's not just my leg killing me. Ha that's a lie! My leg has been killing me for years. Thinking of being able to walk normally again makes me think of a childhood memory.
I only told Cuddy this story, but it's a great analogy and is very true! When I was around 5 years old, I remember wanting to learn how to ride bike so bad! I would watch other people ride on two wheels and think it's impossible! I tried many times and failed. But I couldn't give up, I am not one to give up on anything, so I had to learn how to ride bike without training wheels! So finally one day I couldn't take it anymore, I had to ride bike on two wheels! If other people can do it, I definitely can! So when I was outside by myself I grabbed my toy dump truck and stuck it right next to my dads bike. His bike was so tall! I stepped on the toy dump truck and climbed onto the bike. Good so far! I thought to myself. Then the scary part happened, I started to pedal down my driveway which was 1/4 mile long! I started to go really fast and couldn't stop. But I was so happy! I was actually riding a 2 wheel bike! I could not believe it. But what am I going to do now? I can't stop and the road is coming up! I can't reach the ground and there are no brakes! I ended up crashing the bike into the pavement. I got up hurting pretty bad, I had bruises all over and I saw the bike laying in the ditch. I did not cry though! I didn't even really pay attention to the pain. Why? Because I was so happy I accomplished something, something that I thought I would never be able to do! I remembered all those days wondering if I could ever hop on a 2 wheel bike and after I rode my bike, those days were history! I was no longer afraid of riding a 2 wheel bike and I ended up getting one for Christmas!
Now I'm sitting here and wondering if I can ever walk again without my leg hurting me! I see other people walking and their legs don't hurt them! I wonder if I will ever be lucky enough again, or if my luck has just ran out. I look back at how many times I've been lucky! I was lucky to become a doctor! But I wasn't lucky to get shot in the leg and it never heal! So hopefully the story will end like the bike story.
I used this analogy with Cuddy, when I wondered if I would ever get to date her. I thought it would be impossible, but I ended up finding out she liked me back! And over a month after asking her out I told her this story and she thought it was cute! It was very true! My leg was hurting then too! But she always found a way to take my mind off of it. She use to massage it and let me take my vicodin!
So I wonder, will I ever be able to walk again without this pain in my leg?