Hello people :3! This story is to Envy, he is just so awesome! R&R

Disclaimer: No way in Hell do I own FMA, all credits goes to Hiromu Arakawa, except for my OC

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Oh, Well Hello to you too

Chapter 1

It was dripping wet. He was not supposed to feel cold, as it all seemed so foreign to him. In the setting sun, he saw the silhouette of a slim feminine figure. Not seeing the face, he knew exactly who this was. He felt this desperate feeling of wanting to catch up to her, always within a finger's touch. He started to walk, then broke out into a sprint, still too far. Why? You are not supposed to be here. I… killed you.

Envy woke up in cold sweat. Oh, it was all just a dream. Thank god. She is gone. He got out of bed and went out, leaving his hideout. Wandering aimlessly, he heard his stomach grumble. He had no more goals in life, gradually waiting for his time to come. He had long since given up on his grudge in Hohenheim, knowing killing him would solve nothing. She's the one who taught me that.

He sighed as he recalled the past. It all happened exactly 247 years ago, it was mid-September. He was delivering yet another meaningless mission for Dante with the orders to kill some girl, but their first encounter was rather, he paused to look for an appropriate word, complicated. Yeah, complicated sound about right.

Flashback

"Excuse m—" Envy turned around to find the source of the voice to feel something hard bumping into his shoulder. Envy juggled with his almost spilling drink.

"Ouch!" said a slightly squeaky voice from behind.

"Hey! Watch where your going, brat," relied Envy. He inspected the little parasite up and down. She was probably barely over sixteen years old, looking at her face with slight traces of baby fat and holding her nose, probably checking for any signs of nosebleed. Her ginger hair was tied in a lose bun and no offense, but they are greasy as Hell. And she was freakishly tall, above average men. She was wearing a shady looking green-cloaked hood that hid the rest of her body. He stopped and stared at the slightly familiar pin that held the cloak together tightly. It was a winged-cross encircled by a serpent. The Flamel Cross. Something about it representing the creation of a mercury elixir, a medicine, by removing the poisonous element... Interesting. He had probably read that somewhere. He felt his face twitch in annoyance by the mention of mercury, this being the whole source of his problems.

"Sorry, sorry," She said half-heartily. "Hello? I'm still here ya know?" the stranger said in a teasing tone while rocking her feet back and forth. Envy realized he had somehow drifted off in his thoughts, completely forgotten he was still planning to yell at the brat for knocking into him.

"Oh, right, sorry" he muttered quietly, averting his glaze with an eye roll. He was in a bad mood because the girl he was supposed to kill had apparently gone missing for a few weeks already. "What's an under aged brat doing in a bar, anyways?" He said looking back up to her, with an arrogant tone. He smirked. She might be tall, but her body obviously wasn't done with puberty.

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING A UNDER AGED BRAT?!" exclaimed the girl, making Envy jump and spilling his drink. A vein throbbed as he slowly looked up at the girl, glaring. The girl actually had the nerves scream at him. "I AM ALREADY EIGHTEEN, GOD, DAMNIT!" she screamed, pounding her feet on the wooden ground. Or maybe puberty really was already over for her. How tragic.

"Ha! You sure don't look like it," replied Envy. Just to test her boundaries, he added, "gamine," That was apparently her limit. She sent a kick flying to Envy's balls, well, at least tried to. Envy, seeing the swift exchange of balance, knew the kick was coming and graciously slid over to avoid the possible intense pain.

He appeared behind the girl with inhumane speed and grabbed her wrist. There was a barely audible whine as he turned it behind her back and whispered in her ear, "Hold your horses, brat. Don't be so violent and let's discuss what you want,"

"Nothing," She mumbled. "LET ME GO NOW OR I WILL CUT OFF YOUR—" she was abruptly cut off when Envy covered her mouth. "Hey, hey, hey! Language! Didn't your mother teach you not to use such language in public?" He sighed, "Kids these days," Sighing again. "Let's that this outside, now," He placed a few coins on the table and half dragged/carried her out of the bar full of people staring.

"YOUR OH-SO-PRECIOUS NUTS! I HOPE YOU GO BALD AND GO DIE IN HELL, YOU HOMOSEXUAL CROSS-DRESSING PALM TREE!" She exploded. Envy was surprised to see a human be able to say so much in just one breath, though she was turning rapidly red. Amused, he let he go and non-too gently, shoved her into a deserted alley.

Finally realizing what she just said, it was his turn to explode, "What. Did. You. Just. Call. Me?" She dared to threaten me and above all, call me a… homosexual cross-dressing palm tree? This girl certainly has guts…

"Oh, looks like somebody doesn't enjoy being called a homosexual cross-dressing palm tree, it seems," putting emphasis on the names with a smirk.

So she stole my smirk, screamed at me, and she called me a homosexual cross-dressing palm tree… Sighing, he asked, "What do you want, kid?"

"Oh," regaining herself, she answered, "I was just going to ask whether you were a guy of girl, since you wear a skirt, but after hearing your voice, I think you might be a guy." She paused, "I mean, I had every right to ask that, before you started molesting me!" She finished spiting.

Entirely ignoring the 'skirt' comment, "Yeah right, as if anybody would ever even think of molesting your sorry ass."

She flinched at that.

"D-don't say that!" she said, softer than even a whisper. Without his mutated hearing, Envy wouldn't have heard her.

Envy actually felt like apologizing. Hmm… what the hell's wrong with her… she just suddenly started to look all depressed. Oh well… Remembering his mission, he asked in a serious tone, "I have to ask you something,"

Trying to blink out her watery eyes away, she looked back up with a confident smirk.

"Sorry, I won't be your girlfriend," she said with a mock frown.

"And what make you think anybody will ever want to date something as wild as you? Guys don't like it when girls are the ones who take control," grin, locking eye contact with her, "if you know what I mean," he tilted his head to get a 'thinking pose', "Well, most guys don't… I hope."

Successfully blocking out his whole little speech about guys, she answered proudly, "And what makes you think I'll tell you anything, dumbass?"

"The fact that this might cost you your life—"

"Keep talking," she cut off, adding a fake yawn, "I always yawn when I'm interested." She made a little circle hand movement as if to mean 'continue'. Yawn.

Glaring for the sake of his damaged pride, "Alright, you know what? I'd slap you, but shit stains," he answered and sprung on his heels.

"Oh c'mon, you pussy!" she called out, "Can't take a li'l fight, huh?"

Oh god, how much Envy could not stand walking out on a challenge. Back still turned away from her, he smirked to himself, turned around once more, "Oh you did not just say that,"

"What?" she said in a mocked tone, "I would never say that," putting an emphasis on 'never'. "By the way, what's up with your green spiky seaweed hair, seriously? Its so ugly, my cat coughed up one much better looking."

Pause, closed his eyes, reopened them with sparkles in his eyes, "Do you really have a cat?" He asked like a boy begging for candy. He may not look like it, but Envy was a quite an animal person in the past.

"Um, no… it was only meant as an insult," She sighed, "Some people are just the living proof that a man can live without brain," she muttered.

Returning back to reality, he inspected her once more, looking for a comeback, HA! Found one. Smirk.

"Hey, I was just wondering, did your board come with the shirt? Cuz damn, these mosquito bites sure did make the board swell!"

Tears.

Turns around.

Walks away.

"Hey! Don't go! You didn't I still need to ask you something!"

"Alright, Alright! I didn't mean it!"

He followed.

Yeah, he kind of felt bad. Sure, he was a heartless homunculus monster who couldn't die, but still, a man still had his principles.

"The Hell's wrong with you?!"

"Can't take a li'l challenge? Hmm?"

She abruptly stopped, turned around and shouted, "WHY YOU STOP WITH ALL THE SEXUAL JOKES?! THE HELL'S WRONG WITH ME, YOU ASK?" takes a deep breath, Thank Gates we were in a deserted alley, she thought, "WELL HERE'S WHATS WRONG, I WAS FUCKING GANG RAPED REPETITIVELY FOR THE PAST FEW WEEKS, SO EXCUSE ME FOR BEING SLIGHTLY SENSIBLE!"

Sob.

Turn around.

Race off.

Envy just stood there, "Um… I'm sorry?"

End of flashback

…

And? Did you like it? This is my first fanfic so please please PLEASE R&R!

THANK YOU