A/N: I feel like everyone has their own version of Lily helping James when he's hurt by Remus one full moon and this is just my two cents. I originally planned for it to be five pages long but here I am, thirty-one Microsoft Word pages later… Anyway, enjoy and please review!
Disclaimer: Sadly, I do not own Harry Potter.
0o0
When she thought about it, she really should have seen it coming. The nicknames, the pranks, sneaking off and reappearing, always having an excuse…
Of course he was a werewolf.
Lily couldn't believe she could be so blind. She knew she should have felt more concern for the condition of her friend and fellow prefect, but she couldn't help herself from pondering the logistics of it all.
Remus Lupin. A werewolf.
It was a serious situation but Lily could not smother a smirk from rising to her lips. Remus was one of the sweetest people she had met in her time at Hogwarts. In his human form, he wouldn't hurt anyone. Other students, she knew, may not particularly feel the same, upon being reminded of the company he kept. Peter, Sirius and James were clearly the masterminds behind every foul (and probably illegal) thing they had ever done collectively as the "Marauders". Although they were Remus's friends, he had spoken against their judgment at times, though never seeming victorious in his endeavors.
Oh, the irony, she thought.
God, or the universe, or whatever higher power there seemed to be, had given Remus an alter-ego so completely opposite from himself that it seemed cruel and harsh. Surely he didn't deserve this. It wasn't a petty prank that could be reversed in a second by Madame Pomfrey. It was much more severe than that.
Lily's smirk faltered and vanished altogether. The Marauders were never pranksters or troublemakers, not really. Though they did pull pranks and they did get into trouble, it was never really their goal.
They were Remus's friends. And that's all they had ever set out to be. The trouble just came to them along the way.
"Moony" made sense. He transformed (though unwillingly) during the full moon. The other names had to make sense too or else they wouldn't have assigned themselves as such.
Why was she thinking about the Marauders?
Lily felt her eyes prickle, signaling fatigue, and snapped herself back into the reality of her sixth year dorm. She stepped down from the seat she had been curled up in and stepped away from the window. The room was almost black, save for the dim light streaming in through the window from the crescent moon at which Lily had been staring, stimulating her thoughts.
"Bloody hell," she muttered, crawling under the blanket of her bed, "this is insanity." Lily tried to sleep, but really, how could she? How could anyone if they knew what she knew? She had so many questions and no one to ask.
I could just ask him?
No, you oaf, you can't just ask someone if they're a werewolf!
It was infuriating. Even worse than that, it was frustrating.
As she tossed and turned, four words kept running through her head; Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs. One down, three to go.
Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs.
Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs.
Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs.
Though she would later deny ever giving the Marauders a second thought, she spent the rest of the night with the same four words on repeat in her mind.
0o0
The next thing Lily knew, it was morning. The stark light made all of her late night revelations seem mysteriously false but there wasn't a doubt in her mind she was right.
She was groggy and disoriented from staying up so late but she made it down to the Great Hall for breakfast without any major catastrophes. She sat down next to Alice and Mary and poured herself a goblet of pumpkin juice.
"Wow, Lily, you look horrible," Alice commented, noticing the bags under Lily's eyes.
"Oh yeah, no need to spare my feelings or anything," Lily sarcastically replied, accompanied by an eye roll. Mary laughed at Lily's sense of humor and resumed her conversation with Marlene about the upcoming Potions essay. Lily was barely paying attention as she absentmindedly buttered her toast. Her gaze was focused on the entrance of the Great Hall, waiting for Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs to walk through.
She was not surprised at all when the four of them entered together and sat at the opposite end of the Gryffindor table. Leaving her half eaten toast and muttering a lame excuse to her friends, she got up from the table and began walking slowly out of the Great Hall. Doing her best not to attract attention, she glanced over her shoulder as she passed the Marauders, noticing that they were engulfed in a piece of parchment spread out between them. Remus was holding a copy of the Daily Prophet, appearing to have no appetite, as his plate was untouched. Sirius was just reaching for another piece of toast when James noticed Lily.
"Morning, Evans." He called cheerfully.
"Hi, Lily." Remus added, looking up from the Prophet.
"Potter." She sputtered, caught off guard. She smiled politely at Remus and quickly exited the Great Hall. She mentally reprimanded herself for being so interested. She was acting silly. Not everything the Marauders did was note-worthy, was it? Lily wanted to be inclined to think so but in her experience, everything they did was note-worthy, mysterious and borderline suspicious.
She shook these thoughts from her head, adjusted the strap of her book bag on her shoulder, and headed off to charms.
0o0
Lily sat in one of the chairs by the window overlooking the Quidditch Pitch in the Gryffindor Common Room a few days later, trying, and failing, to get her potions essay done. Her mind, however, kept wandering back to four very complicated boys. Mary, who sat across from Lily, interrupted her thoughts.
"Trouble in paradise, Lily? What's with you this week? You seem so spacey." Mary pushed the arm supporting Lily's head out from under her, causing Lily to snap back into reality. "Earth to Lily?"
"Huh? Oh, I dunno… the eleven hundreds I think?"
"What are you on about?"
"Didn't you ask when the Calming Draught was first used for medicinal purposes?"
"Err no I asked what's got you so distracted." Mary looked at Lily quizzically and Lily just sighed.
"You don't happen to know when the next full moon is, do you?" Lily asked of her friend, earning her another look of great concern.
"Not a clue. Why do you need to know?" Mary earnestly didn't see where Lily was headed with the request and for that, she was grateful, so Lily did what she saw to be the only viable option, she lied.
"I need to know for an astrology assignment." It was weak but it was the best she could do.
"But Lily, you don't take astrology?" Mary caught her.
"Did I say astrology? I meant herbology, slip of the tongue I suppose. I'll catch you later, yeah?" Lily didn't wait for a response as she gathered up her things and stood up, passing the Marauders by the sofa in front of the fire, their usual spot in the common room. Without giving them another glance, she bounded out of the portrait hole, down the corridor, down four flights of stairs and one last corridor until she reached the third floor and her destination: the library.
There was a group of fourth year students huddled around a table, working feverishly on a transfiguration assignment, while two seventh years looked like they weren't getting much of anything done. A few Ravenclaws looked preoccupied as well. She recognized the Hufflepuff looking through the shelves. He also noticed her.
"Hi Lily." He said with a warm smile.
"Hi Benjy." She replied out of habit and courtesy more than anything else. She didn't see when he tried to carry on the conversation. She went directly to the librarian's desk
The library seemed strangely empty for a week night but Lily paid no attention. She wasted no time in asking Mrs. Pince, the librarian, in helping her find an astrology book. Lily spent twenty minutes perusing through three different books until she found a lunar calendar that predicted the next full moon to be that coming weekend- Saturday night.
Well, today is Wednesday, Lily thought. If I can switch my patrol to Saturday instead of tomorrow…
And before she knew what she was doing, she was bounding out of the library, leaving her books on the table with Mrs. Pince calling after her to put them back.
She arrived in the Head offices out of breath and looking quite frazzled. This worked to her advantage as she formulated another lie. She found Alice going through a Quidditch Pitch schedule. Lily's appearance caught Alice off guard.
"Lily? Are you okay?" Alice asked of her friend, standing up from her paperwork. Lily took a deep breath to calm herself down. Act natural.
"I just wanted to ask a favor. Is there any way I can switch my patrol from tomorrow night to sometime this weekend? Maybe… Saturday night?"
"Err," Alice stuttered as she rummaged through a pile of paper on the corner of the desk. After finding the patrol schedule, she ran her finger down the list, "that's fine with me as long as you run it by Stebbins. He's available on Thursdays. That means you'll be patrolling with Benjy. Why do you want to switch? Everything okay with Dirk?"
"What? Oh, no Dirk's great, I'm just stressed is all. I've a potions essay due Friday and I just need some extra time."
"I'm sure it'll be brilliant, Lily. I'll mark it in." Alice smiled and grabbed a quill. Lily threw her arms around the Head Girl.
"You're a doll Alice, don't you forget it!" Lily embraced her friend briefly and rushed out of the room, leaving Alice laughing after her.
"What are we going to do with that Lily Evans?" Alice sighed.
0o0
Saturday morning was quite an affair. Lily had hardly slept and dressed in a rush.
"Lily, relax. The Quidditch game doesn't start for another two hours!" exclaimed Mary, mistaking Lily's excitement.
"I want to get down to breakfast and wish Dirk Cresswell luck." She fibbed. Mary and Marlene looked at Lily as if she had gone crazy, which Lily thought she might have.
"He's the prefect I've been patrolling with and though I ultimately want Gryffindor to win the cup, I don't think I'd be able to stand it if Ravenclaw lost to Slytherin." Lily explained hastily. Her friends took this as a plausible answer and the three of them made their way down to the Great Hall. They were invited by a sea of blue and green, the competing house colors.
"I'm going to find Dirk. Save me a seat, yeah?" Lily called to her friends. Marlene nodded as the pair retreated down the isle of tables. Lily walked in the opposite direction, toward the Ravenclaw table, scanning the line of students for Dirk. It seemed damn near impossible to locate anyone in the throng of invigorated fans but Lily managed to spot him with his teammates. She called him but it was hard to hear herself think in all the noise and hubbub let alone hear someone from two meters away. She reached out and tapped his shoulder, to which he turned around and greeted her with a big smile.
"Lily! Good morning!" he practically screamed over the commotion.
"Hi Dirk! Just wanted to say sorry for having to switch out patrols on you, I've just been bogged down with work recently." Lily apologized, using the same excuse she had used with Alice. Dirk waved her off.
"Don't worry about it. Besides, I haven't patrolled with Stebbins in a while." Lily smiled with relief that she hadn't hurt his feelings. Though she thought it helped her case to make amends on a Quidditch weekend when he would be in high spirits.
"Thanks a million, Dirk, and good luck today!" Lily made her exit, quite proud of herself for keeping such a low profile. She wove her way through excited students of all ages back to the Gryffindor table where she found a vacant seat with pumpkin juice and a blueberry muffin waiting for her.
"You know me too well." She laughed and Marlene nudged her.
"Well, hurry up and eat, we don't want to miss the game!" Alice arrived just then with Frank Longbottom, her boyfriend, and sat across from Lily, to Mary's left. The conversation seemed to center around one topic: Quidditch, and Marlene and Alice began listing the pros and cons of each team, attempting to predetermine the winner.
"I think what you're failing to remember is that Slytherin play dirty. I don't think it matters what actual skills they have." Frank interjected.
"It's all too true." Mary sighed and there was a lull in the dialogue.
"Suppose we get some good seats?" Lily's suggestion was met with enthusiasm as the five of them joined the crowds making their way to the Quidditch Pitch.
After finding an empty row and settling in, Lily found herself once more encompassed with thoughts of the Marauders. She scanned the crowd of Quidditch fans in search of Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs, who she knew would all be seated together. When she finally spotted them in the very front of the crowd, hurling profanities at the Slytherins, she noticed Remus was absent.
Lily had guessed that the story about Remus's mum being chronically sick and his family's poor health in general was all just a cover up for the real problem. He had gone to the Hospital Wing during Transfiguration the day before and apparently had not yet been released.
He was resting and his friends were enjoying the match. That seemed normal enough, didn't it? Maybe he really was just sick. Maybe there was nothing of consequence going on. She didn't let her doubt engulf her for long.
Lily took a deep breath and turned back to her friends in an attempt to watch the match. She cheered for Ravenclaw when they were up by ten points and then by twenty and she booed when Slytherin took the lead byt more than fifty. She held her breath when the seekers were neck in neck for the Snitch and she groaned when it was announced that Slytherin would be advancing to the House Cup Final. Though she tried to enjoy it, four words were etched into her subconscious through the entire match.
Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs.
Realizing it would be a Gryffindor/Slytherin House Cup Match, a surge of house pride evoked lily but, the feeling vanished after only a moment when she heard one voice over the rest of the crowd.
"Come and get us you tossers!" the voice was James Potter's, and he was shouting more profanities at the Slytherins as Sirius and Peter were pulling him towards the exit and back up to the castle, where they, presumably, were going to see Remus.
Lily was tempted to follow them but instead, walked with Marlene back up to the castle. Lily acted on her better judgment and grabbed her school bag from her dormitory before setting off for the library to accomplish her homework, and ultimately, distract herself. The library seemed to be completely empty, until she noticed Mrs. Pince returning herbology books their place and three Hufflepuffs working silently at a table in the back.
Lily sat at her favorite table overlooking a window for close to an hour, without getting much of anything done.
She wasted the rest of the day with homework, Wizard's Chess and reading but nothing seemed to hold her interest.
She sulked at supper and Marlene was the one to speak up.
"Are you alright, Lily? You don't seem like yourself."
"Huh? Oh, yeah I'm fine." Marlene gave her a disbelieving look. "Honestly, I'm fine, just a lot on my mind, I guess."
"Did you finish your Potions essay?" Alice asked.
"Yeah, I passed it in yesterday. Thanks again, Alice." And Lily gave Alice her best smile, sat up a little straighter and finished her supper, glancing down the table at the absent Marauders every so often, which Marlene noticed.
0o0
As she was setting out for her patrol later that night, Lily noticed that Sirius, James and Peter were not amongst those in the common room. Common sense told her they were not yet in bed, like most of the first and second years, but somewhere in the castle.
As she left the common room, Lily forgot that she would also have Benjy with her on patrols. Cursing under her breath, she made her way to the Head offices to find Benjy already waiting for her.
"Hi, Benjy. Have you been waiting long?"
"No no you're fine. I've only been here a few minutes."
"Oh that's good."
"So where do you want to start?" Benjy began, standing up and coming over to her.
"Actually, Benjy, I had an idea. Why don't we split up? We can cover more ground and be done with patrols faster. I don't know about you but I'm tuckered out for the match today." She added a yawn for emphasis. Benjy just looked at her and, fearing she had over done it, started again to correct herself, "Or we-"
"That's a brilliant idea! Why haven't any of us thought of that before?" Benjy's face lit up and Lily was saved from spending the evening with Benjy. Lily thought he was nice enough, maybe a bit too naïve, but she really needed to be on her own tonight. "Wait, is that allowed?" Benjy asked of his fellow prefect.
"Err yeah, why not?" Lily said, feigning confidence. She quickly devised a plan. "Why don't you take the main floor and go round to the library and up by the West Tower and the Astronomy Tower? I can check all the broom cupboards on the fourth and fifth floors and then down to the dungeons. That way we'll be done in a little more than an hour." Lily looked at Benjy with a hopeful expression.
"That's fine with me. I'll start with the Astronomy Tower and work my way down. If you start in the dungeons, we can meet in the middle."
"Sure Benjy, good thinking." Lily half congratulated him as she gripped her wand tighter. The pair of them left the offices and went their separate ways, Benjy up the stair case to the towers and Lily descended to the third floor.
No way in hell I'm going to the dungeons. Sytherins can go screw themselves. Lily thought. Instead, she went down to the Entrance Hall. She sat on the steps, deciding on her next move.
If I were a Marauder, where would I go in this bloody castle?
They must be in an unused classroom. Not all of them are locked.
She decided to set off for the third floor, where she was supposed to be patrolling, and really, as long as she was wandering about the castle, didn't that count as patrolling? That's what Lily told herself anyway. She already felt guilty about ditching Benjy. She tried not to think too much about it.
Lily wandered aimlessly around the fourth floor corridor, and then the fifth, occasionally knocking on broom closet doors and peering into classrooms. She was becoming discouraged and disappointed and thought it might be best to simply return to her dorm and call it a night when she heard a noise coming from the fourth floor. Lily raced down the staircase and flew down the corridor, following the hushed and frantic whispers. She found a dirty and bloodied James Potter yanking a dirty and blooded Sirius Black out of a mirror.
"Out of bed after curfew, are we? That's ten points from Gryffindor!" Lily called to them. She looked them over as she approached, noticing James's glasses were cracked, and his shirt was covered in blood and torn in several places. Sirius's was as well, with a good size gash running from his left side and up to his rib cage. Both were bruised and bleeding and both seemed to be relying on support from the other. They stopped in their tracks and stared at Lily as she neared them.
"Shit."
"For the love of Merlin"
"Wh- Why are you covered in blood?" Lily gasped, seeming to finally grasp the seriousness of the situation. She looked at the pair apprehensively, covering her mouth with her hand, eyes wide.
"Are you kidding me, Evans, this is not the time," James snapped at her, regaining his composure. He tightened his grip on Sirius and they began to push past Lily.
"What the hell happened?" she whispered fervently, stepping in front of them, "We have to get you to the Hospital Wing."
"Maybe I'll tell you later, maybe I'll wipe your memory, now move. We're going back to the dormitory."
"Tell me what's going on or I'll give you both detention."
"Come on, Evans; help out your housemates just this once, yeah?" Sirius asked of her. She sighed and relented.
"Fine. I won't dock points but I want an explanation." Lily demanded, raising her chin a tad.
"Just get Sirius to our dorm and I'll meet you upstairs." He passed a very bloody and very heavy Sirius to her before rushing back down the corridor. Sirius's arm was slung around Lily's shoulders and his weight nearly crushed her.
"Prongs, I'll go get him you-"but James cut him off.
"Shut it, mate." And there it was the nickname again. The use of it set Lily's teeth on edge and she was more determined than ever to find out the truth. There was more to the Marauders than anyone thought and it seemed she was the only one who believed, who knew, there to be more.
Snape might have been right after all this time.
It hurt Lily to think about her ex best friend so she decided not to. Instead, she tightened her grip on Sirius as James darted back through the mirror. There was a small ripple left behind him but when she looked into the mirror, all she saw was her slight frame, bearing the larger one of a wounded Sirius.
"Where the hell did he go?"
"Not the time, Evans."
Reminded of the task at hand, she somehow managed to get the pair of them up to the sixth year boys dormitory and aided Sirius onto the nearest bed, not particularly caring if it was his or not.
Lily nudged his arm, "Hey, Sirius, what's going on?" she demanded, earning her a groan.
"Too many questions, Red," he moaned, swatting her away and trying to sit up. Lily helped him prop himself up on a pillow but the mark on his abdomen did not allow him to do so. He slid back to a horizontal position with a groan.
"It was one question…" she muttered, choosing not to lecture him on his unoriginal nickname, just this once.
"Too many answers. Too complicated." He sighed as James entered the room with a weary looking Peter. Lily sprung up from where she was sitting on the edge of the bed in which Sirius was lying and helped a limping James carry Peter to another bed.
It did not escape Lily's mind that Remus was not with them.
"What in the name of Merlin is going on? Why are the lot of you covered in blood?" Lily asked frantically of the three, fearing the answer. James was the one who responded,
"I don't mean to be insensitive, but can we play twenty questions later? If you're not going to help, you should probably leave." He was sitting on another of the four beds, clutching at his rib cage with one arm and a bloody wound on his thigh with the other.
"That was insensitive," Lily replied, standing in the middle of the room, with three tired and bleeding boys, feeling helpless. She huffed, making up her mind. "What do you need me to do?" she looked him in the eyes, waiting for either orders or a rejection. This was not the answer James was expecting.
"Err, see Sirius's trunk? Not the trunk by the bed Sirius is in but Sirius's trunk?" James pointed for her. "This is going to get confusing." He added, "Sirius's trunk under the empty bed. Yeah. There's a case of vials in there. Be careful with them, though, the two on the end shouldn't mix."
"Do I even want to know what they are?" she asked as she opened Sirius's trunk and carefully procured the vials.
"You should if you want to help us. Oi, get the firewhiskey he's got hidden in there, too."
"Don't touch my firewhiskey." Sirius groaned from where he lay, rolling onto his side to see what was going on, making him groan again.
"You're going to need it, mate." James pointed out, with no further arguments from Sirius.
"Now go in the bottom drawer of my desk and under my broom cleaning kit is a box of cloth strips, not that desk, the next one." James directed Lily. She placed these things on the table besides James, waiting for another instruction. Instead, he tried to stand up to help Peter and Sirius, but his own wound left his left leg quite useless in holding his own weight, causing him to sink back down onto the bed.
"What happened to your leg, Potter?" Lily inquired
"Oh, just a scratch,"
"It doesn't look like just a scratch,"
"Nevermind it, just help me over to Sirius, yeah?" Lily rolled her eyes at him. It was a typical thing for him to do, minimize his own pain, play the hero. James stood up again and reached for Lily. She awkwardly placed her arm around his waist, attempting to support his weight, as he slung his arm over her shoulders, just as Sirius had. They made their way over to Sirius.
"Alright, Wormtail?" James called to his friend as he and Lily crossed the room.
There were those bloody nicknames again.
"Yeah yeah, Sirius has got it worse. Get that gash cleaned up." He called back.
As soon as James was no longer in an upright position, Lily promptly removed her arm from around him. It was quick and swift and anyone else might not have noticed, given the stress of the current situation, but James noticed, and it hurt him. Lily mistook his expression as concern for his friend and said,
"I'm really going to need to know what happened if you want me to help. And don't tell me you got into a knife fight in the kitchens because I don't believe it. This is something more serious, no pun intended." She added, catching herself on one of the group's favorite jokes.
Sirius and James seemed to have a silent conversation while Lily placed her hands on her hips impatiently. The two of them then turned to Peter for consultation in their private matter.
"Pete?" Sirius asked, as he wasn't yet privy to their thoughts.
"Yeah?" Peter replied, looking over at them. James and Sirius stared at him, somehow filling him in without words. Sirius cocked his head towards Lily.
"I'm right here you know? You're going to have to say something." Lily fumed. Peter broke his gaze with James and Sirius and looked at Lily as if he just realized she was there. He sighed and nodded; confirmation that would allow Lily in on their private discussion.
"We didn't get in a fight with knives…" James began.
"We got into a fight with a werewolf." Sirius admitted.
"And the werewolf is Remus!" Peter added from across the room.
"Bloody hell! Are you lot insane?" Lily almost shouted. Her fears had been confirmed. Her suspicions about Remus hailed correct but the fact that the other three would provoke him, endangering their lives, seemed a little too ludicrous, even for Marauders. "You could have been killed! Or bitten! Where is he now?" Lily continued screaming at them, immediately, and without hesitation, examining Sirius for marks.
"Shut it Red, or you'll wake the whole castle! Let's talk about this later, okay?" Sirius cut into her panic, "He's as fine as his little werewolf self could possibly be right now." And she nodded, switching over to control mode.
"So none of you were bitten?" she asked, suddenly very professional. The three boys shook their heads. "So these are just scratches. Bad, of course, but good. At least they're not cursed. I'm going to need a cloth and some water."
James looked at her in awe and complete surprise. It was a gamble to tell her Remus's secret, especially without his permission, but he admitted, only to himself, that she had taken it surprisingly well.
"Okay, James," she continued, interrupting his train of thought, "do you have Essence of Dittany? Or silver? Both would be best." She asked as she grabbed the cloth and dipped it in the goblet of water she charmed over and began cleaning the scratch marks on Sirius's torso. He groaned at the pressure on his torn skin.
"Err yeah, here you go." He handed her the vials and smiled at the sound of his first name. She didn't notice, too focused on her work.
"Thanks." She poured a few drops of each on the particularly nasty wound along the side of his body and Sirius stifled a scream. Lily apologized under her breath and using her wand, muttered a spell, sealing the wound and stopping the bleeding.
"I don't suppose you have a sleeping draught somewhere in there?" Lily asked of James, looking at the case of vials in his hands. James smirked and nodded and traded her the dittany for the sleeping draught.
"I don't want to know where you lot get these things, so don't tell me." She commented, shaking her head.
"Wait, what about the firewhiskey?" Sirius propped himself up, causing him to wince, "You promised." Lily rolled her eyes and grabbed the bottle for him. He took two rather large gulps, took the portion of potion Lily offered him, and two more similarly sized gulps before laying back down on the pillow. Lily rung out the cloth and dipped it back into the water before folding it across Sirius's forehead.
"That'll bring down the fever; he's lost a lot of blood." She said, reassuring herself but James nodded in agreement. Lily gazed at Sirius for a few moments before realizing where she was. Something in her switched on, whether it was her maternal instincts or her need in general to help others, she sprang into action, arguing that James should lay down when he tried to hobble in Peter's direction.
"Let me take care of it." She assured him, after helping him back to the bed. She crossed over to Peter's place in the room and assessed the damage. He had fallen asleep during the time it had taken Lily to heal Sirius. He didn't have many scratches on him at all, save for a few on him arms that resembled those of falling into a briar. She cleaned those up with another cloth, not even bothering to use the sleeping potion.
Lily's watch read one fifty five and she chuckled as she told James. "At least tomorrow is Sunday and you can have a bit of a lie in." But James didn't seem to have heard her.
"Potter?" she called, moving cautiously towards him, "Potter? Are you alright?" she asked, now in alarm. James's breathing was shallow and his complexion seemed to be paling by the moment. She sat next to him and shook his arm, trying to gain his attention as he clutched his rib cage.
"James!" Lily screamed frantically, looking back to Peter and Sirius, remembering they were both asleep. "James, look at me." She demanded, as he tried to keep his head up. She reached out and held his face to meet her gaze. She placed her other hand over the one he had pressed to his torso.
"You need to stay awake. Tell me what's wrong." She said sternly. James was becoming groggy, suffering the worst of the boys' wounds, and apparently, the deepest.
"Whomping Willow." He breathed, moving his hand slightly from the wounds on his upper half, "Werewolf scratch." He nodded pointedly to his leg. Lily gave him a confused look. The werewolf scratch made sense, but the Whomping Willow? What did that have to do with anything?
"I won't wipe your memory. I promise I'll tell you about it later." She smiled at her confusion, finding beauty in all of her expressions, even the ones that conveyed the worst of her emotions towards him. At least she was looking at him.
"You wouldn't have wiped my memory, Potter. You're rubbish at charms."
"That's rude, Evans. I'll have you know I passed O.W.L's with 'Exceeds Expectations'." He quipped hoarsely.
"You only got 'Exceeds Expectations' because Flitwick expected nothing of you to begin with." Lily easily fell into their usual banter, forgetting her hand was still on his face and he was still bleeding, until he winced in pain and brought them back to the present.
"You're going to have to take your shirt off, Potter, and no snide comments." She added, knowing his wit. To her shock, he said nothing and she helped him remove the fabric without disturbing his wound too much and she cleaned the scratches with a fresh cloth. Lily used his already soiled shirt to help clot the blood around his leg and turned her attention back to his admittedly good looking chest. He squirmed under her touch, secretly loving her hands on his body but not so much loving the reason for which they were there.
"Stop being such a baby, Potter, here." She reprimanded him, handing him the bottle of firewhiskey from Sirius's bedside. James took a swing and shut his eyes as Lily continued to heal him. Once she sealed the wound, she moved to the gash on his leg. She removed the shirt and separated the torn fabric of his trousers.
"Going to have me take those off too?" James asked, his voice muffled by the pillow.
"Shut it, or I'll leave you here to bleed out." She warned.
"You wouldn't do that." He said, mostly to himself. She furrowed her eyebrows, upset he no longer believed her threats. Upon treating, sealing and bandaging his leg, she stood up abruptly, causing James to feel rejected.
"I'll just clean up this mess then." She muttered, magically removing blood stains from clothes and bedding and hastily putting the case of vials and firewhiskey back where she found them.
"Evans!" James called as she rushed out of their dormitory, "Lily!"
Lily heard, but did not respond to James's calls for her to stay. Instead she flew down to stairs and up the ones that would lead her to her own dormitory and her own bed. She creped inside, careful not to wake her friends, and grabbed a pair of pajamas.
Once in the bathroom, she removed the blood from her own clothes and quickly showered, scrubbing her scalp especially hard out of frustration. Once she was out and dry, she put on her fresh pajamas. She threw her hair into a wet and messy knot, not even bothering to run a comb through it. She climbed under the blanket, hoping the events of the night were tiring enough to put her to sleep.
On the contrary, it was the events of the night that kept her up, her mind wandering with horrible scenarios of the Marauders being kicked, scratched and bitten by Remus in his werewolf form. She knew he couldn't control himself and she knew he hadn't asked to be this way. She did know that James, Peter and Sirius were sodding idiots for following after him, as if it was a game. The thought made her sick.
There has to be another explanation, Lily thought, there has to be.
Because while the Marauders did pull pranks, and while they did get into trouble, they would never be so careless about their friend. They were Gryffindors. Brave and cocky, loyal and arrogant. They were a lot of things, but they weren't Slytherins. They wouldn't use Remus as a plaything.
Lily's stomach lurched when she thought of the Slytherins. She had believed they weren't all involved in dark magic, that some of them weren't obsessed with the Pureblood agenda, until Severus betrayed her. She now knew his true loyalties and she knew what he thought of the Marauders. Playing at heroes.
Of course, weren't they heroes? They kept Remus safe, they kept his secret safe. Snape had known all along about Remus and was constantly imposing his theories upon Lily, to which she had regarded as ludicrous. He knew. And now she knew. And now it was also her secret to keep.
Snape was right, but he mustn't know he was right.
Her thoughts ran in circles all night long, and it was only in the early hours of the morning where her thoughts faded enough to let her drift off, only to be woken again by the dim light of the sunrise.
It had not been a very deep sleep. This Lily knew as she sat up, feeling sore and even more tired than the night before. Deciding rest was pointless, she dressed in her favorite pair of jeans and a grey sweater with yellow flowers. She brushed her teeth and took down her hair with the intent of letting it down. Deciding it was a frizzy mess; she put it back up in a bun and snuck out of the dorm and into the common room.
She was the only one awake that Sunday morning, and took the chair beside the fire, gazing once more out of the giant window across the room, her eyes not bothered but the steady stream of sunlight.
Lily didn't know how long she sat there, listening to the crackle of the fire and watching how the rising sun made the January snow sparkle, until she heard a voice right above her head.
"Morning, Evans." It said, causing her to jump and her heart to race.
"Bloody hell, Potter, are you trying to kill me?" she placed her hand over her heart, willing it to slow down. He just laughed at her.
"Yeah, something like that." Lily noticed his hair was a mess, as usual, but also damp, signaling he had, like her, showered. He was wearing fresh trousers and a navy blue jumper.
"Couldn't sleep either?" he asked as he tried to walk over to the sofa without showing signs of a wounded leg. Lily, however, noticed.
"No, not really. How are you feeling by the way?" she asked, moving to sit next to him on the sofa, surprising not only James but herself as well. Since when was she okay with such close proximity to James Potter? Since when did she initiate it?
"Err fine I suppose."
"Let me see." She prompted, motioning for him to lift his jumper.
"Lily, I've had worse," He lied, "Honestly I'm fine." He tried to persuade her, ultimately failing. She gave him a pointed look and he relented. Sighing, he gave in. "You're a real prig, you know that?" he said to her as he lifted up his jumper just enough to reveal a thick scar along his torso. Lily ran her fingers along the mark, causing James to shiver involuntarily.
"Yeah yeah and you're a git." She said as though she was stating nothing more than a common fact. Which, in Lily's mind, it was. "This is good." Lily went on, "The silver really helped. This means Sirius and Peter should be alright. A bit sore, of course, but to be expected." James just nodded; waiting for the turn in her mood he knew would come, especially with lack of sleep.
"You owe me an explanation." She retracted her hand from his body and looked him square in the eye. He pulled down his jumper, sighed and ran his hand through his damp hair, not bothering Lily as much as it had used to.
"I suppose I do." He admitted, turning in to face her, "What do you want to know?" Lily chewed her lip and looked around the empty common room, as if searching for a place to start.
"Remus is a werewolf." She stated. James nodded.
"You can't-"
"Tell anyone, I won't. I figured it out on my own, actually." She cut him off,
"You knew?" James asked angrily, "how?"
"The nicknames. I thought about it and thought about it and it just clicked. He's constantly 'visiting his mum', once a month now that I think about it, and there's a potion for just about everything, so when he goes to the Hospital Wing, shouldn't Madame Pomfrey have something for him if it's just a common cold?"
"There isn't a potion to cure lycanthropy." James reminded her gravely. Lily nodded and they fell into silence. It was another moment before she began again with her questioning.
"Where did you go last night, anyway? The mirror on the fourth floor? I mean, I get it was the full moon and Remus… Isn't that dangerous? Where does he go? Where is he now? Does Dumbledore know?" Lily's words were flowing freely now and it was James's turn to cut her off.
"Slow down, Evans, one at a time." Lily took a calming breath and James took this as his cue to continue, "We left the castle. The mirror is actually a secret passage to the grounds, if you know the password. And Remus's fine. In the Hospital Wing by now, I imagine." James began.
"There's a secret passage out of the castle?" Lily repeated in disbelief.
"There are actually seven. The less you know, the better, being a prefect and all." Lily rolled her eyes and told him to continue with his explanation.
"Remus was bitten when he was five," he ignored the look of pity that brushed over Lily's face. He felt the pit of his stomach drop at the thought of letting someone else in on a secret he had protected for so long, even Lily. "He can tell you about it when he wakes up, I suppose. Not really my place to say." James said quickly, beginning to stand.
"James, wait," Lily grabbed his arm and pulled him back to the sofa. "I don't care if he's a werewolf. I swear to Merlin I won't tell a soul. I just want to know the truth."
"It's not that I don't trust you, Lily, it's just-"
"Please?" she begged him and his heart raged and thumped inside his chest and disappeared altogether. He gave in.
"Sirius, Peter and I found out in second year. Similarly to how you did."
"Wow, it took me four more years to figure it out. Merlin, I feel stupid."
"Are you going to let me finish? 'Sides it's easier to see the signs when the bloke's your dorm mate. Anyway, we confronted him about it, curious as we were, and we found out that Dumbledore knew about it all along. He's the one who came up with the whole bloody thing, letting him in the school, devising a whole plan so that no one would know. I don't even think he knows that we know." James digressed.
"Dumbledore knows everything." Lily reminded him, "You lot aren't that good."
"You wound me, Evans." And she giggled. James smiled at this new form of banter they were taking on, preferring it to her screaming profanities at him. She brought her knees into her chest and waited for him to continue, and so he did,
"So, Remus told us that Dumbledore used the Shrieking Shack to their advantage. It's haunted, right? Well, not really. People think it's haunted and Remus's howling during his transformations only makes them believe it more, meaning that people stay clear." Lily's mouth gaped open.
"He's brilliant. Dumbledore is bloody brilliant." She could not contain her complete and utter awe. James smiled at her and she look up to meet his eyes.
"That's not even the best part. Before we started, he had the Whomping Willow planted to guard a tunnel that leads from the grounds to the Shrieking Shack. Every full moon, McGonagall and Madame Pomfrey take him down there. There's a spell to freeze the tree but we don't know what it is. Remus says McGonagall uses a nonverbal spell. Anyway, the Shrieking Shack is protected by a bunch of spells that keep him in there so that he doesn't hurt anyone."
"He hurt you." Lily pointed out.
"He doesn't mean to," James argued, "he doesn't know what he's doing. That's why we go with him. To help him." That was just the thing that set Lily off.
"You mean this wasn't the first time you've gone?" she raised her voice at him, "Are you insane or suicidal?"
"Lily, keep your voice down!"
"Don't tell me what to do, Potter!"
"Don't call me Potter!" Lily looked at him incredulously.
"That's your name, isn't it? Or would you rather I call you Lord of the Sodding Arses?"
"Lily, you've seen me half naked. I think we're on a first name basis now."
"Alright, James." She huffed mockingly, "what else have you got?"
"Err, we're animagi?" he offered.
"WH-"she began, but James saw this coming and clamped his hand over her mouth. She pushed his shoulders and pounded her fist on the sofa, but he was stronger than she was. Lily's green eyes were full of rage but James kept calm.
"Listen to me, Lily, I know it's illegal, I know we're not registered, blah blah blah, but we had a good reason. It's not like you cursing at me is going to reverse it." Lily's shoulders relaxed and she released a breath she'd been holding, exhaling over his hand. She became acutely aware of just how close they were. His hand was on her mouth and she could smell the scent of his soap on his skin. It was intoxicating really.
James, also aware of their proximity, was less inclined to back away. He pushed his thoughts away and released his hand slowly, testing the water. Lily didn't start up screaming again so he felt it was safe to rest his hands back in his lap, but not before running one of them through his drying hair, driving Lily up a wall.
"The lot of you are unbelievable." Was all she could say at first, "you risk your lives every month to be with him and-" she stopped abruptly.
The nicknames
"Oh my Merlin, Oh my Merlin!"
"What?' James inquired.
"Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs!" she sang, "the nicknames are your animagus forms! I figured out Remus's, obviously, though he's not an animagus, but I couldn't understand the rest."
"You were thinking about us then?" James asked with a smirk. Lily rolled her eyes and smacked his shoulder.
"Git. You know what I mean. What are you then?"
"A deer. A stag, actually." Lily pondered this.
"Prongs." She decided and James nodded in confirmation, "Sirius and Peter?" she asked.
"Pete's a rat and Sirius is a dog."
"Peter's a rat?" Lily asked in disgust.
"Hey, one of us has got to be small enough to stop the Whomping Willow. There's a knob at the base that stops the braches, you know. Pete's the only one small and fast enough to get to it."
"You're really something else, James Potter." Lily shook her head.
"You really think so?" he asked and she just smiled.
0o0
Later that day, when Peter and Sirius had woken up, the three Marauders, plus Lily, headed down to breakfast. They were early enough that the Great Hall had not yet filled up with students. Only a few early risers had taken their seats, as most of the castle preferred to lie in on Sundays.
Lily felt strange, sitting with the Marauders. It was awkward too; Sirius kept looking between Lily and James, who happened to be sitting next to each other. Peter on the other hand, piled as much food as he could onto his plate and shoveled fork-fulls into his mouth. Lily settled for toast with jam and eggs.
"So that's it? She just knows now?" Sirius broke the silence harshly.
"I'm right here you know; so don't talk about me like I'm not." Lily defended herself.
"Yeah, she knows everything. What else was I supposed to do? We all agreed." James ignored her.
"I thought it was a 'need to know' basis?" Peter shot back.
"Well how was I supposed to know what the hell any of you were saying? We weren't even talking! What were we doing?" James questioned, running his hand through his hair, frustrated.
"I'm not going to tell anyone if that what you're worried about. Remus is my friend too." Lily jumped in.
The three boys looked at her and then at each other.
"Let's go see how he is then." Sirius offered, "Make up a plate, Wormtail." He winced after he used the nickname, which Lily was now privy to.
"Bunch of babies." Lily muttered to herself, rolling her eyes.
And with a breakfast plate in hand, the four made their way out of the Great Hall and up to the Hospital Wing in silence. When they knocked on the door, Madame Pomfrey answered.
"We're here to see Remus Lupin? We've brought him some breakfast." James explained and Peter held up the plate as proof.
"I'm sorry, but he's not awake yet. Why don't you try again later?" she said, giving the group a sympathetic look.
"I'm awake, its fine." They heard Remus call hoarsely from one of the beds. Madame Pomfrey turned around to see that Remus was indeed awake, looking weak and pale, but awake.
"Very well." She allowed and moved to let the group in, "Not for too long though, he still needs to rest." She warned them as she retreated back to her office, closing the door behind her.
The Hospital Wing was thankfully empty that morning. Lily found herself chewing her lip, suddenly very nervous.
Remus smiled as he saw his friends but that smiled faltered and vanished when he saw their grave expressions. His anxious expression was replaced with a look of pure panic when he saw Lily trailing behind them.
"Y-You didn't…" he stuttered.
"We're really sorry, Remus." James apologized.
"We brought you breakfast to make up for it." Peter offered, placing the plate on the table beside the bed.
"We would have brought him breakfast anyway, you git." Sirius reminded him.
Lily pushed through James and Sirius to sit on the edge of Remus's bed as the other three brought chairs over for themselves.
"Remus," she began, "I'm really sorry."
"It's okay. I understand your decision." he replied.
"Remus, listen, please don't be mad. I figured it out on my own. James just filled in the details."
"What?" he whispered, shocked.
"I begged him to. I wanted to understand."
"Y-You did? You don't hate me?" Remus tried to wrap his head around the idea that she didn't loathe him now. He could believe James, Peter and Sirius could forgive him of it. He knew they were nutters, but Lily wasn't crazy. She still liked him. He was shocked, and he'd be lying if he didn't say he was touched.
"No! Of course not. You didn't ask for this." She smiled, "You've got proper mates, you know that?" she added,
"Yeah, I know." He smiled back.
"Oh, how lovely! I think I'm going to be sick. Now eat up before your food gets cold." Sirius interrupted from his chair, grinning from ear to ear. Lily rolled her eyes and Peter handed Remus his plate. The five of them sat for most of the morning, despite Madame Pomfrey's words of protest. By mid-morning, color was returning to Remus's cheeks and his spirits were high.
"He really needs to rest now," She chided, around eleven, "though I don't see why he shouldn't be released this evening, perhaps in time for supper?" she baited. So Lily squeezed Remus's hand and Sirius, James and Peter muttered their goodbyes and the four of them left the Hospital Wing.
"What do you lot want to do today?" Sirius asked, though Lily felt she wasn't included. So she made her excuses.
"I don't know about the rest of you, but I've got homework to finish up. I think I'll go study in the library." A common excuse, James saw right through it.
"See you around, Red." Sirius shrugged.
"See you, Lily." Peter added. James nodded at her before she turned up the stairs. He watched her retreating figure and Sirius bumped his shoulder.
"The pair of you had all morning to talk about Remus but you couldn't find a spare minute to tell her you love her?" Sirius asked with a smirk.
"I don't love her, Sirius; she's just another bird, right?"
"That's not what your Defense Against the Dark Arts notes say." He teased.
"Sod off, you great prat." James pushed him aside and Sirius howled with laughter.
"Come on, Prongs, she might finally be coming around." Peter reassured him as they headed back to the common room.
"I don't know what you lot are talking about." James protested, but they knew. He hadn't voiced his feelings for Lily since the incident by the lake but they knew. And they were right.
When they entered the common room, the three of them went to sit down in their favorite spot by the fire. When James took the armchair, Sirius protested.
"Get your arse out of my chair. Besides, don't you have somewhere to be?"
"Err, no?" James asked, confused, unmoving.
"Lily said she'd be in the library." Peter offered, settling for the sofa.
"Details," Sirius stated, "that's why we keep him around. Get it? Tails?" Sirius laughed at his own joke to which James rolled his eyes. Peter chuckled along with his friend.
"Good one, Padfoot, though not your best." Peter admitted as James stood up.
"Oh sod off. I'm hilarious," Said Sirius, taking the armchair, undeterred by his friend's criticism, "but really, mate, go find her because she may never feel this fond of you again."
"And how is that supposed to help me, exactly?" James wondered aloud. Sirius just waved him off.
"Go, Prongs." Sirius motioned to the portrait hole and James exited the common room, cursing his friends as he went.
James didn't go straight to the library, however. He wandered around the castle, thinking of what to say to her, anything to say to her, without coming up with anything.
You're James Sodding Potter, he thought, get a hold of yourself, mate.
So with no plan of action, James sauntered into the library and easily found Lily seated by herself at one of the tables. He casually slid into the chair directly across from and she looked up at him with a quizzical expression.
"Afternoon, Evans." He greeted.
"I thought we were on a first name basis? I've seen you half naked, remember?" she teased.
"Right you have." James allowed.
"So what brings you to the library? I thought you lot had better things to do today?"
"Oh believe me, we do," he lied, "but I never did thank you properly."
"What?"
Just go with it, James.
"For helping us out last night I mean. With Remus's furry little problem." Lily laughed at this, earning her a stern look from Madame Pince. She covered her mouth with her hand to silence herself.
"Is that really what you call it?" she whispered.
"We had to have some kind of euphemism. Other students might have caught on otherwise." He joked. Lily shook her head at his antics.
"I really do have quite a lot of homework, James." She pointed her quill at the books scattered around her, signaling his exit.
"Alright alright. I just didn't want you to think it's always that bad. We know what we got ourselves into. Last night was the worst we've had. Usually we stay with him until morning, but, you know." He shrugged and stood up to leave.
"How do I know something like that won't happen again?" she asked, and he rested his hands on the back of the chair.
"You don't, and neither do we. You're welcome to wait up next month. I'll leave the dormitory unlocked." He added cheekily. Lily rolled her eyes again.
"Just be careful, yeah?" she pleaded.
Just then, James did something neither of them expected. He stepped around the table, leaned over, and placed a kiss on Lily's forehead. Just a light kiss, no harm done, and then pulled away. Lily looked up at him with shock and awe, completely aware of the shade of her cheeks.
"Always am." He promised, before turning swiftly on his heel and exiting to library. All Lily could do was stare blankly after him.
Oh my Merlin, she thought, how am I going to concentrate now?
0o0
James didn't return to the common room right away. He replayed the scene in the library five times in his mind, trying to think of something else he could have said.
Oh my Merlin, he thought, I blew it. I shouldn't have kissed her. Merlin, at least I didn't tell her.
But what James failed to realize was he was one step closer in gaining her trust and her friendship. And that was a start.
When he finally did return to the common room, he found his friends in much the same state as he had left them, only now Sirius and Peter were playing a game of Wizard's Chess.
"Oi, Prongs," Sirius called, upon seeing his friend climb through the portrait hole, "How'd it go?" he sang suggestively.
"Fine, I suppose. I didn't tell her if that's what you mean."
"What?"
"Why not?" Peter asked. James shrugged.
"Not the right time. Can I play the winner?" he asked.
"It's going to be Wormtail. Remus's set hates me. Ruddy bastards won't let me move where I like."
"Maybe it's because you call them 'ruddy bastards.'" Peter pointed out. And the afternoon continued much in that fashion. It wasn't until supper that the boys moved from their spot by the fire. They followed a crowd of Gryffindors headed down to the Great Hall. They were surprised to see Remus already seated at Gryffindor table.
"Hey Moony!" Peter greeted him, "We didn't think Madame Pomfrey would let you out so early. We thought we'd have to execute a rescue mission after supper." Remus smiled and shrugged.
"Guess I convinced her I was feeling well enough."
It was then that Lily walked by with Marlene, headed to the other end of the table where James saw Frank and Alice waiting for them.
"Alright, Evans?" Sirius called and she waved back at them, making eye contact with James and turning a light shade of pink.
"Nice progress, mate." Sirius slapped James on the back and took a gulp of his pumpkin juice.
0o0
"What was that about?" Marlene asked Lily as they walked away.
"Merlin knows. Just the Marauders, I guess." But Marlene saw a smile play out on Lily's lips. She looked back at the Marauders and then again at Lily.
"I see." Marlene murmured, smirking as well. Lily didn't know what to do about James Potter, but she knew she didn't have to know just yet. He proved himself to be more than she thought, and more than she ever expected, over the past weekend. But she didn't need to know just yet. So she enjoyed her supper with her friends and let him enjoy his. But could it be that she just might, possibly, fancy James Potter?
How could I have not seen this coming?