Album Infinity: Orbital Nova

by ChiioUnicorn

Sequel to Project: VOCALOID. "In this vast universe, no many how many times I'm reborn, I'll still fall in love with you." Love is a satellite that orbits around a star. Love is a potent force stronger than gravity. Even when sin surrounds the world, soulmates that make a vow of eternal love are inevitably destined to return to one another.

1. Track 01: In Hope

A/N: EDIT/ 1/7/18/ My lovely beta, sunshard, did me the liberty of running through the chapter and giving me important pointers. Thank you again, sunshard! I hope the rest of you enjoy a winter read. Also, me and a supportive friend have started a chat group community on discord! It's called RinxLen with an official art of the v4x kagamines. Download the app on your phone and let us know that you want an invite sent to you! We're trying to spread the rinxlen. My dear friend is planning to promote her vocaloid art as well. Please come by and check it out. My ID is chiiomajesty#4531 if you want to become friends.

I must be a glutton for punishment. What have I done? I couldn't help myself, but hey, I can at least get past the first few chapters for sure. I totally know what I'm doing! Haha, oh boy, what have I gotten myself into? I really should stop writing these novel length fanfictions. In any case for the fans who have read P:V, be forewarned that this Len/Rin story is far from soft and fluffy. There will be, of course, WAFFy moments, but there's also a substantial amount of action, drama, angst, and so forth. You know me, the reading itself is worth a bundle. We might as well buy in bulk, right?

Info: This is a continuation of Project: VOCALOID. It follows up on the lives of these beloved characters as adults as they trek through their respective lives within Tokyo-R. The events take place right after the conclusion arc, so if you're a new reader and have no idea what's going on, it might be in your best interest to read P:V first. That said, welcome! I'm happy you're here!

Disclaimer: The Vocaloids do not belong to me. What would I do with a bunch of digitized pop idols anyway? I know little to none when it comes to Japanese, (beautiful language of course!) and I can't compose fo shit.

Love is an infinite force.

I just said something really cool just now, didn't I? Sorry, just wanted to make a strong impression.

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Album ∞ : Orbital Nova

Track 01

In Hope

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Rin's POV

Oigo Hospital

09:30 AM

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"Alright, lift up your hair for me." The soapy washcloth rubbed up and down my back as my nurse aide, Madoka, made her request with a gentle nudge. As I sat up on the bedside with the pillows supporting me, I sighed and did as she asked. I felt a chill as the towel slid further down my waist, leaving my back bare to the world.

I shivered, closing my eyes against the sensation of the warm, wet washcloth brushing the nape of my neck.

I had lost track of how many days had passed since I had first become truly aware of my surroundings, but I was more than happy to finally have a bath while conscious enough to enjoy it.

Stretching my limbs luxuriously, I felt like a pampered princess.

A sharp exclamation echoed from behind me, causing me to sit upright in concern. Frantically, I turned my head over my shoulder in effort to grasp the situation. It was a struggle, not being able to comprehend things as quickly as a person with sight could.

"I-Is something wrong?"

"Ah… I'm sorry. It's just that you have such a radiant complexion! I didn't realize it before, but your skin is so smooth and white." An envious sigh escaped from the girl behind me.

"O-Oh. Is it really…?" Feeling my cheeks heat up, I bashfully averted my gaze and held up the towel against my skin. No one has ever said such things to me. I wasn't certain how to respond, but it was the first compliment I've ever received from someone regarding my body. At first, I was very curious about how I appeared to others. Now, I suddenly felt very self-conscious as I hid my body from view. "Thank you… that's very nice of you to say."

"Say, could it be that you're a model or something like that in the beauty department?"

I tilted my head in response to her query, feeling confused.

Why would she ask me that?

My body was unfamiliar to me, and I couldn't remember what my face looked like after all these years, but I knew I must look different now. In all my life, I'd certainly never felt beautiful. My mother was beautiful. My friends were beautiful. I wasn't like those bold, confident, and strong-minded individuals out there in the world who knew what they wanted and how to go after it. I wasn't a billboard beauty or a talented public advocate who captured the hearts of millions.

For that matter, I wasn't even human.

No, I was…

How could I even begin to define myself?

I stopped that train of thought, realizing that I had been silent for a long time. I could sense the aide still expectantly waiting for my reply. My tendency to overthink things had gotten the better of me. My cheeks flushed in embarrassment.

Unable to relax in this situation, I simply drew my face downcast and shook my head.

"Really? But that's such a shame! I'd've followed you if you had your own page on Instagram!" Madoka chattered on in a cheerful voice, drying me off with a soft, fluffy towel. I felt my hair poof up after she towel dried it. "Eheh. The weather is getting cold. This morning I had to wear three extra layers before coming to work. Autumn is coming to an end," she remarked with a shudder, running a wide-toothed comb through my hair with meticulous care. She was being careful to unknot any tangles, but I found myself unable to tolerate allowing someone I hardly knew to continue touching my hair. Every time she hit a gnarly tangle, I felt myself wince in discomfort. The only person I would like to touch my hair like this in such a familiar, comfortable fashion was Len.

Most importantly, however, I wanted to at least be able to do as much as I could for myself instead of relying on others all the time.

"W-wait, please…" Halting her ministrations, my fingers reached up to take the comb from her. "I can do it myself."

"Oh, of course. Excuse me." I could hear her moving away from me to give me more space, much to my relief. It wasn't as though I distrusted her, but having a stranger being so close to me while I couldn't see them made me uncomfortable.

It had been too long since I was able to do something as simple as this for myself. I set to ridding my freshly washed hair of tangles and knots with an eagerness I'd never felt before. It made me a little proud, though it would seem silly to anyone else to feel so emboldened over doing a menial task. As I began touching the strands with incredulity, I tried to imagine what it looked like using my mind's eye.

My hair had been cut short, tied with a white bow, when I was younger. Mine wasn't pin straight; rather, the thick, heavy locks tumbled down waves. The length now reached the small of my back when I wore it loose. Sifting my fingers through the strands, I weighed my options of whether I should keep it or not. I wasn't certain if I liked it. It felt different, but different wasn't so bad.

This bouncy, classic style… does it suit me, I wonder?

Still, I supposed it didn't matter that much now that I didn't even know what I looked like anymore. The thought made me a little depressed.

As I let out a sigh, Madoka seemed to take it as a sign to start talking again as though to rid the void of silence.

"Ahem. I'm surprised you know one of our oldest doctors here. Dell-sensei, I mean. Lift your arms, please. I'm going to put this new gown on you." I did as she asked, albeit hesitantly because of my bare body. I stopped shivering once the cotton gown engulfed my body like a curtain. My mind settled into ease as I breathed in the comforting, crisp smell of fabric softener. I touched the long, loose material draping over my body, lifting it to my nose so I could smell it better.

This fabric softener… was it mint? It smelled so fragrant. I was starting to feel more refreshed and relaxed, like I could just float up away with the clouds.

"I remember that Dell-sensei used to work a great many years in this hospital before establishing his own clinic in Tokyo-R." Madoka's voice brought me back to reality once again, and I sat erect as her hands tied the back of my gown. "You see, this facility used to be a naval hospital before it became open to civilians. During his time as a veteran, I heard from the older nurses about how he made so many contributions back in the day. He saved so many lives of soldiers out there. Even to this day, Dell-sensei is considered a legend among the medical board." The deep respect and regard she had for Dell-san was made clear in her voice. Hearing her lavish so much praise on him made me smile a little.

Dell-san really was amazing though. He deserved to be revered and respected from everyone like this. I only knew him as a kind person, but others knew him as a professional, competent member of society. Not only was he an honorable man, but a well-versed and accomplished doctor. I found myself having a newfound respect for him after hearing all this about him. Though in my awe, I couldn't help feeling just a little envious as well.

"It's surprising to see him over here on such short notice. Not to mention how well-acquainted you seem to be with his family well, too," Madoka remarked, the enigmatic lilt in her tone made me fidget in my seat, and I felt as though she was more aware of all these coincidences more than she let on.

"O-Oh, yes. D-Dell-san is a… close family friend. He… he knows my grandfather, you see." I fumbled for the right words that were closest to the truth. I wasn't very good at lying; at least, I didn't think I was. "Y-You could say they, a-ah, work together for a c-common goal! I-I really respect their work!" Even to my own ears, I didn't sound very convincing. Inside I was teetering on the edge, cursing myself for being inept at maintaining a simple conversation. "They were close associates in the same line of work… for Dell-san's, um… other occupation?"

The NND, that is… though to think, it's a less of a private organization now, isn't it?

At least, that's what the others had told me. I didn't really understand what it was that they did, but from my understanding, it seemed to be a student-enforced disciplinary in Tokyo-R now.

"Ah, is that how it is? I'm sorry! I'm not trying to pry, or anything, really!" Madoka hurriedly said, trying to amend her previous statement. I wondered if she was bowing right now and decided to stop her if she was. "I was acting rude before, so please accept my sincerest apologies."

"Oh, no… you don't need to be sorry." I emphatically shook my head, hoping to dissuade her worry. I wasn't certain if she saw through my poor attempt at a half-truth or not, but I was relieved she wasn't pursuing the matter.

"I-It just struck me a little strange how familiar Dell-sensei seemed to act with you." Madoka sounded embarrassed now. "Usually he's so professional and straight-faced that it's difficult to gauge how he's feeling. But somehow, he seemed to be watching over you kindly… aha, but I thought it was just my imagination…"

"Mm…" I nodded to show her that I was listening, anxiously tugging at a wavy strand of my hair that continued falling out of place.

"And then there's that young man who always comes by every week. The one who always visits you? I believe he's Dell-san's son… ah, stepson, that is. What was his name again…?" I froze, halting my ministrations as she continued speaking. "Oh, well, never mind. Anyway, every time he visits the floor, he always comes bright and early, usually before the time you wake up. Eheh. The nurses won't stop talking about him. He's always asking us about you, wondering how you're feeling."

Len…

The tension in my body melted away as I felt my expression soften. A gentle warmth expanded in my chest as I imagined him doing exactly as Madoka described. Before I even realized it, I was already smiling.

It really showed every time he came to see me, how much he cared for me. I was already happy every time he visited me, but now I felt like the most fortunate fool in the world. I didn't think I could be so happy like this, being together with him like this after so long. Most days, it still felt like a dream.

A wistful sigh escaped my lips as I felt myself float away up in heaven.

I want to see him…

"Uwah, your face went all sweet and happy~! How cute! The expression of a girl in love is a beautiful thing, indeed." Madoka giggled. "The nurses were right. Usually you're so reticent, Rin-san. Forgive me for saying so, but it's hard to get you to relax. It's so adorable how excited you get once we start talking about your boyfriend."

"Boyfriend…!" My cheeks grew hot as I self-consciously brought a stubborn curl behind my ear. "I- that is, u-um…!" At her goading hum, I continued to stammer despite my shyness. "Ka… Kagamine Len. His name is Kagamine Len. A-and… y-yes, he is my… my boyfriend." Being able to say that to someone so clearly was a bit embarrassing, but at the same time it felt nice. A gentle warmth exuded in my chest as I thought of him, and I found myself pressing my hand against my thumping heart. "B-But he's more than that, you see! The truth is, L-Len is… very special to me."

This was the first time anyone had referred to Len as my boyfriend. It only seemed like it was yesterday that we were pretending to be twins back in the academy. Those days were long over, but I was still trying to adapt to all these changes. Still, it made me feel warm inside hearing someone referring to me and Len as… l… lovers.

Ahh. I cupped my hot cheeks in my palms, feeling myself get lightheaded. Even thinking about that intimate term made my head spin!

"Are you alright?" Madoka asked, sounding concerned. "It looks like something came over you for a moment. Are you feeling dizzy?"

"Oh no…" I shook my head, my hand searching for a pillow to hold. Once I found one, I hugged it to my chest. "But a-as I was saying before, Len is my most precious person. And…" My voice went soft for a moment as I felt that wonderful rush of warmth all the way to my toes. I hugged the pillow to my chest, imagining that it was Len. "He makes me very happy," I finally declared with a smile, not feeling the least bit shy or embarrassed. It was simply the truth.

"Well, I think that's just wonderful! You and Kagamine-kun sound like you're really close." Madoka sounded genuinely interested in hearing what I had to say, which made my heart thrum. "If you don't mind me asking, how did you two start dating? Did you just meet up at a party or something, or were you friends before?"

Now that I felt more comfortable around Madoka, who had felt like a stranger to me since this morning, I found myself feeling brave enough to divulge the more personal details about my life.

"It's a bit of a long story…" I started thoughtfully, thinking back to how I met Kaito and Len for the first time that stormy night five years ago. Turning in Madoka's direction, I ended up smiling a little. "To put it simply, Len and I have known each other since we were children."

A delighted gasp came from the girl as I heard the chair scrape against the floor. I felt her presence next to mine as she gently touched my shoulder to let me know where she was.

"My goodness, you have to tell me more!"

"Y-Yes…" Overcoming my initial hesitance, I started telling Madoka about how we first met. Because of my detrimental health as a child, I was kept inside of Grandfather's house and usually wasn't strong enough to go beyond the garden. Sometimes I was able to sneak out and explore the neighborhood Len grew up in.

"…And then," I sighed wistfully as I recalled what had been the most wonderful accident in my life. "What a strange-looking boy, I remember thinking at the time. Len was just a thin, clumsy boy who looked scared of me when I first laid eyes on him. After returning his soccer ball to him, I did the strangest thing." I hid my smile behind the palm of my hand as I visualized our first meeting in that open meadow, which had been one of my favorite places to visit as a child. "Looking back now, I can't remember why I did such a thing."

"Oh, you can't stop there. What was it that you did?" Madoka encouraged me to continue, having been absorbed in my storytelling.

"I…" I blushed, wringing my hands before answering. "I listened to his heartbeat." I knew she was going to think I was such a silly child once I said.

"There's no need to be embarrassed! I think that's cute."

I had continued to tell her about how we met again. A baseball had smashed my bedroom window, and he had arrived to the mansion to retrieve it. That fateful meeting had become one of many playdates. I shared about the time he had taught me to make a paper plane, and then about the time I had taught him the meaning behind flower names.

"...And then, we promised to marry each other."

"That is the most romantic thing I've ever heard." I heard her wistful sigh full of longing evaporating into the air. "Eheh~ hearing your love story just made my day. You're both a couple of sweethearts, you know that? The staff talks about you quite a lot. You're a popular topic of discussion nowadays!" I tensed upon hearing those words, unsure of how to react. "Ah, what I mean is that everyone up here loves having you up here! You really brighten up our floor. The nurses, the doctors, the aides… and me, too, of course – we always look forward to speaking with you."

Feeling immensely flattered, I felt the heat rise to my cheeks. I touched my pounding heart. Was it true? It was true that I noticed how everyone treated me so kindly during my stay here, but it wasn't until now that I realized the warmth behind everyone's gestures. I was so very touched.

"Oh, w-well, I don't know what to say except… thank you." I managed to put my thoughts into words, albeit clumsily. The bed shifted under my weight as I fidgeted restlessly. I wasn't used to all this praise, especially since I wasn't certain if I even deserved it. I hadn't done anything to earn such high esteem from other people. I hesitated before adding, curling a strand of hair around my finger. "I believe you're being sincere, but it's just…. I-I'm not a noteworthy person."

Come to think about it… I wonder… what are my strong points?

"Aha, there's no need to be so modest. I must disagree, however," Madoka chided gently, and I could imagine her shaking her head. "During the time we've been talking, I've gotten the impression that you're a very heartfelt person. Granted, I don't know you very well… but I think you possess a rare charm."

I acknowledged her with a weak smile. I didn't deserve such thoughtful words, but it made me a little happy regardless.

"I have to say I'm jealous. The way your boyfriend looks at you makes me wish I had a boyfriend who would look at me like that!" Madoka sighed again, and I heard the shuffling of clothes. I assumed she was putting away the soiled laundry and tidying the room, judging by her busy footsteps. "There's so much passion in his gaze whenever he watches you. It's like you're the only one he sees, and he can never seem to take his mind off you whenever you're both in the same room. Eheh~."

Len…

"I'll prove it to you, Rin. That I'm real. This is real."

"Welcome back, Rin. You're home."

My heart hammered as I envisioned him beside me watching me as Madoka had described. I was happy to hear that he watched over me so attentively. I couldn't stop another smile from touching my face. My palms went to my hot cheeks as I thought of him, shivering as I imagined hearing his tender, loving voice that had gotten deeper over the years. Our last parting had been a sweet sorrow for me, as I remembered trying to stay awake for as long as I could before he had to return to the city.

"What's wrong, Rin? You're holding onto me so tightly. If you're not careful, I just might end up staying the night. Heh, just kidding."

I still remember the touch of his fingers as he stroked my hair, whispering words of love as I fought the urge to sleep to stay with Len. I didn't want him to leave me.

"Don't go,' you say? You, really… you might not realize it, but to say those kinds of things with such an innocent expression is a dangerous technique. You're only enticing me more… but alright, I'll stay a while longer. It's not as though I want to leave. If I could, I'd stay here as long as you're here…"

I remember the soft sensation of his lips falling over mine as he tenderly lulled me to sleep by humming Fly Me to the Moon, my old lullaby.

"Sleep, Rin. I'll be back in the morning, my princess."

Wait… did he really say that when I fell asleep, or was it just a dream?

I found myself sighing all over again, feeling the heat rise to my cheeks.

It would be nice if he could say things like that more… hearing his voice made me so happy.

"Well then, Stockley-san. I'm going to check on the other patients real quick. Do you need anything?" Madoka asked me, helping me lay back on the bed as she pressed the call light into my hands. "I can turn on the television if you'd like. The music channel is featuring many popular songs."

"Ah, yes… I would like to listen. I don't need anything else, but thank you."

"Of course. Please excuse me."

I listened to the rhythm of her footsteps as she left. The noise coming from the television filled the void of silence that would have accompanied me otherwise, which I didn't want. Being left alone in silence made me uneasy. It reminded me of my time trapped inside the fusion experiment. I had spent so many years all alone, drifting between cycles of dreams and delusions. I had so long been disassociated with reality it was difficult to become lucid the moment I woke up.

Laying back against the pillows, I tried to situate myself more comfortably in attempt to forget my loneliness.

I sat in bed, trying to concentrate on the music but to no avail. My thoughts were consuming me.

Even now, I had to remind myself that I was existing in a real place with people and time.

I no longer had my eyes to see the world around me. Touch, smell, and sound were the only things that could truly validate my own existence – the fact that this was real. My proof of life. It was Len who convinced me of that.

So many things have happened since I woke up… so to speak.

Even now, I was taking everything in how much had changed and what my current circumstances meant for me.

Dell-san was my personal doctor in this place, and he had introduced me to the care team on the floor whose hospitality I was partaking of. He had informed me in his usual brusque manner that the nurses would be assisting me with my activities of daily living until I was well enough to be discharged. The definite discharge had yet to be decided. Until then, I was to remain as a patient.

I had consented, of course, but not without feeling a little guilty and embarrassed. He gave me the option of transferring to other hospitals closer to home. I agreed wholeheartedly to his proposal because I didn't want to be so far out of the way for others to visit me. I wanted to be where everyone was. Since then, the arrangements had been made, but the official discharge date was still pending.

These people's faces I could not see, and yet they communicated well enough through gentle voices and touches that I found reassured in my dark prison. Still, I couldn't help feeling uneasy whenever I was left alone. The silence that surrounded me afterwards was so deafening I could scarcely breathe.

Yesterday, Grandfather had come to visit me, to my surprise. We had exchanged formal reintroductions. I hadn't heard from him in so long that it almost felt unreal. These years blurred the memories I had of him, but I could recall his brooding, gentlemanly profile from when I was a child. His strong hands and how he picked me up – I remembered that fond memory. When I heard his gravelly voice for the first time in years, I found myself feeling nostalgic.

Grandfather had brought me the papers that would make him my legal guardian up until I decided to terminate the contract, which meant that he would financially provide for me because I was now considered a disabled person. I was unable to manage my own affairs even though I was a legal adult. It was disheartening, to say in the least – that I was like this. My pride had gone down with my spirit. Yet Grandfather was my family, and I certainly rely on Len's family and their goodwill for the rest of my life.

And so, I had decided to sign the papers. One of the nurses had to direct me where to sign.

Because Grandfather wanted to protect my identity from the public, he convinced me to take on another surname that would disjoint me from the Takashi name. If anyone found out I was the previous heiress to the once revered Crypton Media Future as well as the VOCALOID, my life would be thrown in chaos. Paparazzi would stalk me, and the public would ostracize me for being the daughter- the bionic weapon- terrorist CEO tried to use to destroy the world. So many lives had been lost for a meaningless endeavor.

And so, I had consented to adopt my mother's maiden name as my own.

My new life as Stockley Rin had begun.

From now on, I would be known as the adopted child of Masaki Takashi who came from an orphanage in Germany. A fake history, but now my life was my own. Knowing that filled me with hope. I wasn't sure how to feel about my grandfather now, but he had treated me with such civility and warmth it was as though I had become his little grandchild again, sitting on his lap as he read me one of my favorite storybooks.

Here I was, being taken care of, and I had no way of repaying all these people who were doing so much for me.

What a conundrum…

What should I do?

There was little reason to doubt my situation now. I no longer believed I was living in an illusion, though a part of me felt how unreal my new life was.

To never see again…

The thought sank in, weighing down in my stomach like a barbell.

Feeling something wet trickle down my face, I reached up to find tears. Ashamed, I quickly brushed them away, not wanting to feel weaker than I already did. So often I'd been teased and callously shunned in academy because I had been so dependent on Len, who they thought had been my older twin brother at the time. Then there were the victims of my father's experiments. They had directed their hostility toward me for being the daughter of the man who made them suffer.

Eventually I finally started to recreate an identity for myself and earn the independence I had so longed for. But now I didn't possess it at all.

How was I to live like this, always relying on other people to take care of me now that I couldn't even walk without assistance?

I had been so deliriously happy before, so grateful to be alive and with everyone I loved.

But now, the reality of my future was starting to sink in.

I felt so guilty for having to rely on Dell-san so much again and again. It seemed that up until this point, I had been doing nothing but burdening him. He was always taking care of everyone in his family, even me. He was using his resources to keep my identity a secret. He was such a kind person, even though he could be a little scary sometimes.

Can a happiness that can only be achieved through loss really be considered true happiness?

To that, I would say that… it's possible.

As I reflected on my life, my mind floated adrift in the river of memories. For as long as I could remember, I had been closed off from the rest of the world as a child battling with an incurable disease. Then my consciousness and memories had been revived in a reconstructed body. Yet I had served to an end. I had existed only to serve as a pawn for my father. My freedom cost the lives of those who had been forgotten… including my mother.

The past events almost seemed to be nothing more than a dream, yet my existence now – the living, breathing me and my eyes that could no longer see. Those things validated that those memories had indeed happened.

Having been a mindless entity for five years, floating in space… to be suddenly freed from that hell I had experienced a level of ecstasy that only I would ever know.

It was as though I were stuck in a dark tunnel with no way out…

I suddenly felt very cold as my fears shook me to the core. Ah, no good. I don't want to be alone by myself…

In any case, I didn't want to spend all day fretting anxiously. With a depressed sigh, I decided to occupy the rest of my time by heading downstairs to the aviary. I pressed the call light and soon enough, my nurse came to see what I wanted. After putting my request in to visit downstairs, she allowed another aide to accompany me downstairs until I wished to return to my room.

I was wheeled downstairs to be welcomed by brisk, fresh air and sweet chirping. The smell of lavender incense was rich in the air. As I sat near the canary cage, I was taken by their lighthearted melody. My spirits were lifted further by the sun's warmth on my cheeks.

It reminded me of Len.

He was like the sun.

Inside my quivering chest, I felt my heart swell in recollection of the kisses we would share right before he would leave. A soft sigh escaped my lips as I thought of Len again, and it brought the sweet ache of longing I often felt while we were separated.

I knew I'd been sighing all day, and it seemed hopeless for me to put a stop to it. These emotions wouldn't stop overflowing.

Much yearning, much suffering brought tears to my eyes.

Such longing, such loneliness of mine… it pulsated in my chest like a heartbeat.

Would I be able to see him again soon?

He said he would be back in the morning, but he never said what time he would come. If he didn't come today, I would understand. I would be a little sad, but…

"Sorry to disturbbb~! Ah, Rin, there you are!"

There was a sudden cheerful announcement which brought me out of my thoughts. The footfalls of heels clacking against the floor startled me awake. My nap in the sun left me languid and relaxed and I'd lain in it for a while just taking comfort from the sun's warmth on my skin and the breeze on my face.

That voice…

My eyes widened in recognition. I heard the door slid open, and quickly wiped my eyes in frantic attempt to rid the evidence of my tears. Relief surged through me as my anxiety melted away. Her loud, confident footsteps sounded like music to my ears.

"Eee~ Rinny, you look fine!" Her ecstatic tone made me smile as I reached out towards the source of her voice. "I asked the nurse if you were doing some tests since you weren't in your room. Imagine my surprise when I heard that you were down here." A warm hand enclosed mine, linking our fingers. "The fact that you're ready to greet the morning is proof that you're getting healthier! You look lovelier every time I see you! If you don't stop being amazing I'm gonna have to do something drastic~!"

"Teto." My smile broadened as the warmth of her arms enveloped me in a hug so tight I could scarcely breathe. I relished in her warmth. She squealed as she rocked us back and forth, clearly happy. "I'm so glad to see you," I said sincerely, drawing back from the hug. "How are you?"

"Oh, I feel amazing. I woke up bright and early this morning, had breakfast with Ted-kun, did my yoga routine… teased Ted-kun in the shower~ teeheehee~!" I tilted my head at the playful lilt in her voice. "Ah, but forget about me. You're probably more eager to hear about Len-kun."

I blushed, having been caught off guard.

"T-That is…"

It's not that I wanted to hear about Teto herself, but truth be told, I did want to know if Len was doing alright.

The proverbial straw that broke the camel's back came in the form of the long suffering tirade Teto began in an exasperated voice.

"Oh... my... goodness. Call him! He's been driving us crazy!" The way Teto was drawing out her syllables had me both intrigued and concerned.

"Is Len alright?" I sat upright, worried for his well-being. I wouldn't be able to sit by and do nothing if he was endangered. I couldn't stand the idea of him being hurt. "Did something happen to him? Is he hurt? Please, tell me what happened!"

"Rin, this is beyond what I've ever seen!" Teto flitted up to me in a sudden burst of speed, clutching my shoulders. I jumped, surprised by her sudden movement. She could be a bit forceful sometimes. I wondered why I hadn't noticed it before, but I put aside that thought to listen to her. I braced myself for the news, and what I heard next was completely unexpected.

"I've never seen that guy so distracted! I'm telling you, he will not sit still!" She moaned, the weight of her head resting against my shoulder. "In class he's always looking at the clock instead of concentrating like usual! Well, we all know le boyfriend can't wait to see his girlfriend."

"R-Really?" I asked, trying not to let my emotions get the better of me. I couldn't help feeling excited, however.

"That's why he's hurrying to get all his work done," Teto affirmed strongly with a pat on my hand. "He really misses you."

I see…

I felt my heart warm at the thought that Len had thought about me. It made me happy hearing how badly he wanted to see me as much as I him. We really missed each other. We were alike in that way. The thought made me smile.

"But jeez! I've asked him time and time again not to drag Ted-kun everywhere so much. He can be so bossy!" The volume of her voice made me cringe, and I made an gentle attempt to nudge her away. She only meant well, and I understood that, but she could be a bit too much. I tried to squirm away from her vice grip, feeling an uncomfortable flush seep onto my face.

"Teto… please don't shout. You're hurting my ears…"

"Oh, sorry…!" Teto sounded horrified, releasing me as though she had touched fire. "Gah, such an idiot… I meant me, Rin." Having decided to drop her melodramatic front, she cleared her throat. "But, really. You have no idea what hell we've endured. I never thought he could be so pushy when he's lovelorn, getting in between me and Ted-kun. I don't know how you put up with him."

As she continued complaining about Len, I couldn't help but giggle.

"Um…"

Hearing a faint whisper of a new voice, I pulled the blanket tighter around me. My aide had informed me when we arrived here that no one else was around except for the receptionist. If not for my other senses straining to compensate for my loss of sight, I was certain I never would have noticed this. This new voice sounded as though they were attempting to join in the conversation. Or was it mere coincidence?

"Teto… is there someone else here?" I asked, clutching her arm.

"Erk…!" My curiosity was piqued as I heard a strange, suspicious noise coming from further away.

"Correct! Wow, Rin, you pick up on things quickly!" I heard Teto exclaim before she broke away, leaving me hanging. I was a little shocked by this but didn't protest. I heard her chattering in the distance with someone else, followed by a disharmony of footsteps that reached my ears.

"Agh, Teto, don't drag me! I can walk!" Another voice reached my ears as I attempted to decipher whose it was, sorting through my memory. "Besides… I'm not sure if I should really be here… i-it's not like she really wants to see me in particular…!"

"Nonsense. Quit being stubborn! Now that you've been found out, you might as well come in and talk to her properly!"

"Um… hello…? Who's with you, Teto?" I called out unsurely, hoping I didn't look as nervous as I felt. The footsteps stopped right in front of me, causing me to blink.

"H-Hello… excuse me, Rin-chan." Someone called out to me, and I turned my direction towards the voice. "It's me, Akita Neru. I doubt you remember me very well, but we attended Seija together. More specifically, we were classmates."

Akita… Akita…

That name sounded familiar.

I was horrified at myself for forgetting who this person was, as they seemed to genuinely caring towards me, but it was too late. My memory was corroded from the years I spent in isolation, like dust collecting in storage. Images that had once been clear to me were now fragments.

I thought hard, trying to connect her name to one of many blurry faces stored in the back of my mind.

Memories of haughty laughter, confident boasts, and a silhouette of girl with dandelion hair standing with two other girls came rushing back.

Ah… that's right. She had been the girl who always argued with Teto and was straightforward in her ways of pursuing romance. I had admired her for her boldness and the way she spoke her mind, and although she could be a little mean sometimes… she wasn't a bad person.

"I remember you, Akita-san. It's been a long time," I said, pouring all my feelings into a heartfelt smile. Though we hadn't been close in the past, I was still happy to see her. "Thank you for coming all this way. I am pleased to see you again!"

"O-Of course…"

I tilted my head at her tone in concern, wondering if something was wrong. I couldn't place why, but she seemed to be forcing the words from her throat. Was I making her uncomfortable? Had I said something to offend her somehow?

"Ah, geez. Would you loosen up already, Neru? Look at Rin, you're making her feel like she's done something wrong!"

"O-Oh my god, I'm doing my best, a-alright! Why can't you keep your big mouth shut for once and let me handle this? We're not kids anymore!" I heard Akita snap irritably at Teto, but somehow it didn't carry the usual bite that I remembered. Teto as well – she didn't sound as venomous as she used to when she interacted with Akita-san. I remembered how often they argued in high school - how they genuinely abhorred each other. Their longtime rivalry had kept their fire going even after all these years, but there was something different about them now.

As Akita-san, we were no longer children… we were adults now. Adult women. Even me…

It felt a bit strange, but it wasn't as though I found the idea of changing to be unwelcoming.

"Eheh." A quiet laugh escaped me as I found myself smiling a little at their exchange, feeling a wave of nostalgia come over me. This reminded me so much of those old days in the Seija Academy. There were so many memories in that place. But more importantly, it was the people I had made those precious memories with. Thinking about all those times put me in a nostalgic mood, but at the same time I felt a little sad.

"U-Ugh, she's laughing at us…"

"I feel like a child…"

"Oh…!" Remembering my manners, I frantically gestured to the surrounding room. "Ah- um… w-why don't you both sit somewhere, too? Make yourself comfortable… t-though I'm not sure if you'd rather stand...? I heard it's not very good for your heart if you do it too long, though… I… I won't overlook it if you think less of your health!"

A short silence passed before I heard strange noises. Were they… trying not to laugh?

"Ahaha! That's Rin for you." Teto's outburst confirmed my suspicions, and I felt a little indignant as Neru joined in.

"I didn't say anything funny, did I…?" I murmured, wondering why they were acting so strange.

"Heehee… wow. S-sorry, we're not laughing at you! Really!" Akita-san assured, walking over to my side. "I'm glad. To be honest, I was nervous, but it seems there was no need for that. You haven't changed."

"Oh...? So, then... you're relieved." I settled down before offering them to sit once again. "How has the day been treating you? I want to hear about it."

So many things have changed now…

Those carefree days were over, and everyone else in school had gone their separate ways… living different lives in different places. All my old classmates and friends… I wondered how they were doing now?

We engaged in a pleasant conversation. They talked about school and their respective lives. Akita seemed to more relaxed judging by the easygoing banter between us. She was as talkative as I remembered her.

"So, you and Kagamine-kun aren't really twins. I was surprised to hear about it from Teto…" The change in subject startled me, and at first I wasn't sure how to respond, but Akita continued speaking in a calm, modulated tone. "It's alright, Rin-chan. I'm not going to pry. Frankly, it's none of my business anyway." She seemed to hesitate before sighing. "But well… seeing you appear so suddenly after everyone thought you disappeared… it's like seeing a ghost, to be honest."

"Y-Yes… I never imagined coming back here." I whispered, lowering my head. "I wake up and the first thing I'm aware of is darkness. It surrounds me… and at first it doesn't feel real… ah." I came to my senses, realizing I spoke my thoughts aloud. "I-I'm sorry, I didn't mean…"

"No, you have nothing to apologize for." Akita immediately cut me off, and I felt her smooth, manicured hand take my other free hand while Teto held the other. Her touch was unfamiliar to me, so it made me a little nervous. "Don't ever apologize unless you know what it is you did wrong."

"Akita-san…" For a moment, I stilled before smiling. "I forgot how amazing it was whenever you spoke your mind. You never held back. I've always admired that about you," I told her honestly, hoping the meaning in my words would reach her. I thought it was important to tell her how I thought of her. "Some people might find that attitude selfish… but the way you carried yourself and held your chin high reminded me that it's important to value yourself. Therefore, I'm really grateful that we're friends to this day."

"You haven't changed a bit… huh, Rin-chan." I heard Akita murmur. "Ha. Why are you always so nice, even to someone like me…?"

The mood seemed to dampen, much to my mortification. For some reason, Teto and Akita-san had fallen silent. I couldn't see their faces, but I could sense their feelings.

They seemed… sad somehow.

An autumn breeze picked up, and I heard the wind chimes ringing.

"You've been through so much. We'd never thought we'd ever see you again," Teto told me in a low voice. "Everyone… they were so torn up about you the night we thought you had disappeared. None of us had wanted to believe it, that Kamui-sensei… and you had been taken from us." A shuddering sigh ripped from her throat.

"Teto…" I uttered, reveling in shock.

"Even as you are now, you're trying so hard to live and make the best of your situation." Akita-san joined in, her voice sounding melancholy. "Rin-chan… I've never told you this before but deep down, I've always respected you. You were always so quiet and distant when we were younger. I never really understood what you went through… I even said some awful things." I could feel her trembling. Her voice started to break, and I felt a wave of empathy for her. In her moment of weakness I tried to comfort her by squeezing her hand, and to my surprise, she stilled before squeezing back. "I was sure you didn't like my nasty attitude back then. You were always a hard person to read, haha. But… no matter how mean I was, you never stopped treating me like a friend."

"Thank you for telling me your true feelings. I feel much happier now," I conceded softly, feeling more at ease at hearing this revelation. "Teto… Akita-san… thank you for being here."

Time passed in the aviary as we, three girls, talked about many things over tea. Well, they talked, and I mostly just listened. They brought me to attention about how much the world has changed. Suddenly, there were touch devices and rising tensions in the political battle grounds. Of course, they also discussed music and fashion. At some point, they told me about the time they went to an occult meeting just for experimental purposes. Notably, Teto told me all about the trendy new anime she was watching now as well as how far her blog has come since we were in high school.

I never knew such peace. The more we talked, the more I became aware of the things that I now had that most people didn't have: shelter, food, medical attention, friends…

It was easy to take those things for granted.

Where would I be now if I didn't have these things? These connections?

If circumstances had been a little different, I could've been just another lost person… it chilled me to think of what might have happened if I hadn't been found.

"It's nice to see that you two are friends now. It came to my attention that you're both on first-name basis instead of using your surnames..." I observed, and upon hearing them squawk in response I tilted my head in confusion. Did I word things strangely? My concern grew as I heard Teto coughing violently after choking on her tea.

"Don't get the wrong idea, Rin-chan!" Akita-san exclaimed, sounding flustered. "It's not like we're that friendly or on close terms. T-Things just happened to take this course… you know?" With that poorly fabricated excuse, I had to purse my lips to keep myself from laughing.

"That's right! Neru here just happens to be so forthcoming that it ended up rubbing off on me! It's contagious, you know?"

Oh, Teto… but the same could be said for you even without Akita-san's influence.

"Of course. I understand." I said, trying not to smile so I wouldn't harm their pride. "These things do take time..."

"A-anyway," Teto cleared her throat several times before adopting a lighthearted tone. "How are things going with Len-kun? He's not treating you badly, right? If he is, don't hold back! If there's anything I enjoy more it's hearing criticism about that bossy, all-mighty, self-important, date-ruining jer-!"

"Oh no, everything is wonderful…" I answered quickly, disallowing her to badmouth him. "Len is wonderful, more than I could ever ask him to be." Closing my eyes, I pressed a hand against my throbbing chest. "I think I'm the one who's the problem. It seems there is a small problem in between, or rather… I must be the one who's worrying too much about this."

It was difficult for me to allow him to leave each time he visited. Soon I found more and more reasons to have Len stay a little longer. I couldn't help hating myself for being so needy. Len must think I'm a baby… why does he even tolerate me…?

"Don't be so hard on yourself! You have the right to voice what you want," Teto admonished softly, and I felt her hand touch mine. "You can tell us how about you feel. I promise you we'd never judge you for it."

Her words were reassuring. Still I was reluctant to voice my inner thoughts, wishing I could solve this situation myself. I didn't want to trouble them like this by making them listen to my problems. They went out of their way to visit me, so I shouldn't make them worry. But for the past few days, I couldn't come up with a solution of my own. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't think of the right way to approach this matter.

It wouldn't hurt to talk just a little… it wouldn't bother them that much, would it?

"I want to talk with Len more, but he lives all the way in the city where you two are. It's very hard for him to visit all the time when he has so much work to do, and school, too… but still, I want to see him," I confessed in a soft voice, feeling nervous at how they would react. I didn't realize how exposed it felt to be so... forthcoming with one's deepest, private thoughts with others in such a casual manner. "I've held back for so long from saying anything because I thought I shouldn't be selfish. I didn't want to make Len start coming out here more often if it troubled him."

"Rin… I understand." Teto's voice softened as she squeezed my hand reassuringly between hers. Her hands were as warm as her heart. The empathy she was communicating through her actions was clear to me. "That's not a selfish thing to want. You sound like you miss him a lot."

"I do." Grasping Teto's hand in mine, I lowered my downcast face. I did feel a little better after hearing her say that. Still, the pain in my chest didn't lessen. I knew I was likely making an awful expression. The stinging sensation of oncoming tears welled up in my eyes as a deep, lonely ache shook me to the core. "I don't know what to do."

"To me, you've always come off as the type of person kind who wonders rather than acts." Akita, who had been quiet up until this point, finally cut in. "I guess I was spot on." I heard the chair scrape back as a pair of heels clacked against the floor, then I felt something pushed into my hands. I traced its shape, identifying it to be a cup. The smell of cinnamon wafted into my nose. Akita had given me another warm serving of cinnamon tea.

As I thought, Akita really was a nice person at heart.

As I thanked her, she intercepted my words with a curious question.

"Hey, why don't you try doing something on your own first?"

"W… What do you mean?" I was confused, trying to comprehend what she was saying. "Are you saying I should try to be more independent? Be more reliable?" But I was already trying to do that… was I not being productive enough? I knew I was slow at progressing towards that goal, but having it clearly said to my face like that kind of hurts a little…

I took a sip of tea in attempt to calm myself. It had a bit of a unique bitterness to it, but the added milk had softened the kick.

"Hey, Neru…" Teto had started to say, only to be interrupted by her fiery adversary.

"No. I mean you have to take initiative!" Akita-san answered, sounding slightly exasperated. "I'm saying that in the game of love, the fold isn't always in your favor!" Realization dawned on me at her explanation, and I folded my hands across my lap. The tea was still steaming in my fingers, warming me up.

"...I see." I uttered, blinking. "Now that I'm alive and well… there's no reason for me to hold back. I can be honest."

There's no need for me to lie to myself anymore.

"Hmm~ finally, you get it." Akita-san said with a satisfied hum. "Then let's get going, Teto. I think our work here is done."

"What…? Oh, you're right!" With a final, reassuring squeeze, Teto let go of my hands. "Looks like it's already noon. Sorry, Rin, but me and Neru have to catch the next train if we want to be back in time. It was really great seeing you again!"

"Eh… you're leaving then? Oh." I wilted in disappointment, feeling a little sad that they had to leave so soon. Still, I knew they couldn't stay here when they had school and work. I didn't want to weigh down their lives, after all. With that in mind, I shook my head to clear away the negative thoughts and decided to see them off with a smile. It was the least I could do for them since they came all this way.

"Heh, quite a face you're making there, Rin. Endurance is a well and dandy quality… but don't forget about what we said, okay?" I blinked in confusion at Teto's words, wondering what she meant.

"What do you… oh?" Suddenly, I felt myself wheeling forward. Confused, I tried to make sense of my surroundings. The noise of the elevator dinged along with the clambering of footsteps.

"Let's start by taking the first step. There's a phone in your room, right?" Akita-san asked.

"Yes, but why do you ask? Where are you taking me?" I held onto the blanket in my lap, shivering as I was swept away.

"That's where we're going! We'll help you out this once, but then you have to start from there!"

Without being able to get a word in, I was rushed back into the room. As Akita-san helped me settle onto the bed properly, I heard someone picking up my room phone and dialing numbers.

"Here's the phone, Rin. Once you're ready to talk to Len, hit the call button." Teto instructed as she handed me the phone, showing my fingers where to hit the call button. I sat there in shock, the phone in my hands felt like dead weight. As I heard them leaving, I called out for them to wait.

"I-I couldn't do that…! I'd be bothering him, and…" I felt myself shrink, my voice getting smaller. "What if he doesn't want to talk to me?"

"Ehhh?! That's nonsense! What are you saying-?!" Teto indignantly called back to me, but Akita-san intervened before she could get another word in.

"Well, you never know until you try, right?" I could hear Teto's noisy protests as Akita-san prodded in a level tone. "Instead of mulling over it, why not take a chance? I mean, it's better to regret something you did than what you didn't do."

My breath caught in my throat at those strong words of encouragement, and soon, the cloud over my troubled mind began to lift.

"Go on, fight, girl! Be the one to set the mood! I guarantee he'll find you so irresistible he'll come running!" Teto continued shouting even as they went out the door. "By the time you end that call, you'll leave him wanting more! If you need any more advice, just hit me up! I, Kasane Teto, the Seductress Extraordinaire am always on your siiiiiide!"

"Yes, yes, Seductress Extraordinaire. Now, come on! We're going to miss our ride if we don't hurry!"

SLAM.

Much like the soft flavor of my tea, one could often change their distressing situation by heeding the advice of others.

And yet…

It was just too embarrassing!

Should I call, or should I not…?

I couldn't bear the thought of calling and then being told that I was bothering him. Fear and anxiety welled up in me, clashing with my innermost desire to be with him.

"Ohh… I can't decide. I don't think I can do it…!" It was just too much!

Blushing to the roots of my hair, I gripped the phone tightly as I lowered myself onto the bed. As though a fever had taken over me, I found myself rolling in the sheets. The blankets were strewn over my body as I squirmed at the thought of hearing Len's voice whispering right in my ear, telling me all sorts of romantic things. My mind conjured up one fantasy after the other as I longed to hear the voice of my beloved.

"Rin…" He would say quietly in my ear. Though he wouldn't say anything more, just the sound of my name on his lips sent me in a romantic daze. It was just so unbearable, not having him here with me. I knew I was being greedy, that the more I saw of him the more I wanted to be with him. It was unbearable, this longing building up inside me.

He would tell me how much he missed me, how badly he wanted to see me… and that he wouldn't be able to hold back another day if it meant not seeing me.

All those things I wanted him to say, and the passion I wanted him to exchange with my… it was my honest desires laid out bare in the open, and I wanted him to see it - my thoughts and desires. Everything.

I wanted him to know all of me, and I wanted to know all of him.

My finger hovered hesitantly over the call button. My hands were clammy and sweating. I felt so nervous, completely at the mercy of these emotions of mine.

I want to see him.

I closed my eyes.

I want to be with Len.

Gradually, my racing heart finally calmed. With those words repeating over and over in my mind, I was finally able to muster the courage to do what I knew what needed to be done.

Summoning my resolve, I finally moved to press the button until-!

RING. RING.

"Ah!" The noise of the phone going off startled me so badly I cried out. My heart raced with anticipation as I fumbled with it in my hands. Finally, I was able to answer it.

"H-Hello…" My heart was still racing as I brought the phone up to my ear. "Who is this...?"

"Sleeping in, Rin? I called so many times I was starting to think you'd never wake up." The low, teasing quality in that voice I knew so well made my heart flutter. "I phoned the nursing station, and they told me you were taking a nice, warm nap in the sun downstairs."

"Len…" In that instant, my sadness and anxiety melted away. Just hearing his voice was enough to make my heart swell with emotion.

"How are you feeling?" His voice resonated in my ear, and it was all I could focus on. In the darkness of my world, all I could do was burn the memory of his voice into my mind so I wouldn't forget. "I hope you slept last night. Did you have a good dream?"

"I think I did, but I don't remember…" I replied softly, twirling the cord around my fingers. If I had been dreaming, then it certainly would've been about Len. "I miss you." The words came tumbling out of my mouth before I could stop them. "It may sound greedy, and I know we just saw each other last night. But I want to see you… so badly."

There was silence in the other line, and it made my heart stop.

Was he upset? Had I said too much?

As I started to worry, he suddenly spoke up again.

"What a coincidence." This time, his voice was soft and tender. "I wanted to see you, too. It was when I was lying in bed that I was most aware that you were gone. All night I kept thinking… were you sleeping soundly right now? I would think about how you're usually there in my arms, keeping me warm."

I sat up straight, my chest overflowing with joy at his words.

He missed me as much as I had…?

Knowing that he had shared the same thoughts as I had brought me such happiness that I was unable to put into proper words.

Whatever he said could either make me feel as though I could walk on air, or buried alive under the earth. It was such a helpless thing, being in love… I realized. But if this kind of love could bring such unbridled happiness, then the pain and uncertainty was worth it.

I couldn't admit it out let, but… it was times like these I wanted nothing more than to bask in happiness forever.

"It's the same with me. It was most lonely when I went to sleep by myself…" Clutching a hand to my chest, I mustered the courage to tell him how I felt. "Len… I was thinking that it would be nice if the two of us could… spend quality time together." I felt hot all of a sudden, flushed with embarrassment at having to voice my needs so readily. "I'm sorry if it sounds selfish. I know you're busy, so I understand if it's too much."

"You're so cute when you're honest." A low chuckle rumbled from the receiver, resonating in my ear. Even through the phone, hearing him whisper so playfully like this made my spine tingle. "I know I shouldn't say this, but… hearing you say that makes me really happy. Telling me you're lonely without me and wanting to see me… since when did you learn the right words to rile me up?"

"It's the truth!" I answered earnestly, wanting him to know that I meant what I said. I wanted him to notice my feelings. "I just… I want to be with you, if at all possible. That would be enough for me."

A knock at the door diverted my attention as my ears picked up the faint whisper of movement. If not for my other senses compensating for my loss of vision, I never would've noticed the near silent shuffle of footsteps making their way near my bedside.

"I-Is someone there?" I asked aloud, clinging to the phone as though Len were here with me. I pulled the blankets tighter around me, curling up into a ball. I felt more vulnerable than I should have, but I was unused to visitors not announcing themselves.

For once, it did not matter whether or not I could see. Feeling the weight of someone's eyes on me made my cheeks warm.

"Who…" My expression furrowed as someone made their strong presence known, moving to stand right before me. Then a sweet, soft fragrance flooded my senses as something rustled against my nose. I touched what was under my nose, and to my pleasant surprise, I realized these were flowers.

"I'm sorry for being late." The voice echoed on the phone and… right in front of me.

My eyes widened in shock. I dropped the phone as it clattered onto the floor. I knew that voice, the coiled power in velvet baritone that came to me each night in my dreams to chase the demons away. But did I dare to believe that this was reality and not a cruel, sweet fantasy borne from my desire to see him?

"L-Len, is that you?" It was impossible to mistake him for another, but I needed to confirm it for myself. I heard another deep chuckle as the cold, impossibly gentle sensation of his fingers lifted my chin before stroking over my lips.

"It's me, Rin. Sorry to keep you waiting." The low baritone of his voice was unmistakable. It brought a smile to my face.

"Len, you're here!" I instinctively reached for him in spite of my limitations, but I would've fallen off the bed if Len hadn't grabbed me. If I had the strength, I would've ran to him and refused to let him go. I reached out to feel him and was met halfway with the strong, callused warmth of his body. His fingers curled around mine before tugging me forward, guiding me through the darkness.

To my surprise, he swept me into his arms, and the inviting warmth of his body surrounded me in no time. I sighed and latched onto his neck, relishing being held as though I were his greatest treasure. I didn't realize he was shaking until a soft chuckle broke free. I was instantly aware of my enthusiasm and buried my head in his shoulder in attempt to hide my burning cheeks.

Then I remembered that I was wearing nothing but a thin gown which was easily accessible if one untied the strings at the back. I was essentially naked, and I could feel every inch of his warm, muscled body around mine. My body flamed with a bashfulness I couldn't explain as I pulled my arms away to secure the blanket me, hiding my bare skin from view.

"I-If I'd known you were coming I-I would have worn more layers…" I blurted, the heat seeping from my face down to my toes. I was thankful I couldn't see his expression. I knew he was laughing at me. I just knew.

"I didn't see anything," He assured me. The soft caress of his hand made my body tremble. I heard the bed creak as he moved onto the mattress behind me, laying me back so that his chest pillowed the rest of my body. He pulled me into his lap, stroking my head kindly as though I were a child.

Happy that he was here, I snuggled up to Len, and he wrapped me up in a tight hug. It was like being wrapped in silk.

How funny, to think I was feeling so sad earlier… worrying over so many things, but the moment I was being held like this by the person I love most, it feels like everything will be alright.

When I'm with Len, even the smallest of exchanges make me happy.

I was so deeply moved by this display of affection. The warmth behind his touch melted away any lingering thoughts of doubt and worry that remained.

"These are for you…" He moved the bundle of flowers into my searching hands, and my face lit up. I brought the flowers close to my face. "Can you guess what kind of flowers they are?"

"Casablancas," I immediately answered, remembering the spring smell from earlier. I envisioned the white flowers blooming under a bright blue sky, stretching across my grandfather's garden. I remembered because mother and I always used to plant them during the season. "Len… oh, how sweet. I love these," I breathed, the heat rising to my cheeks as I held the bouquet close to my heart. The sweet, aromatic smell of casablancas flooded my senses. I was so touched that tears started to well up in my eyes. It was so romantic. "You're so thoughtful. Thank you…"

"I'm glad you love them," Len said, sounding pleased. He nuzzled his face into the back of my neck, moving my hair. His hair was tickling my skin, and it made me squirm. "Are you surprised?"

"Very," I managed to answer though the thick emotion in my throat, unable to stop smiling. "Len, I-" Right as I was about to tell him how I felt, he sealed my lips with a kiss. "Mm!" His kiss was so passionate I wasn't sure if I was dreaming or not. I closed my eyes, succumbing to sweet surrender. More rapid kisses followed, coming faster than I had time to breathe, send my mind flashing white with heat.

When Len pulled away, his breath wavered over my lips. He gently stroked a large hand through my hair, treating me with care.

"Rin…" I loved it when he said my name with that voice. He seemed to hesitate for a moment, and I took his hand in mine before bringing it to my cheek. I said nothing but offered him a tiny smile. As though that were enough to serve as incentive, he found his words again. "It's because of you my life feels full, more than it ever did. With you by my side, I feel like I can pursue my dream without having anything to fear. Only you could give me this kind of strength," He told me in a quiet, unwavering voice. "Just seeing you is enough to help me make it through the day."

Ah...

Feeling that he was saying that right from the heart, my chest warmed up. My searching hands landed on the overhanging table, and I rested the bouquet on the surface. I reminded myself to ask Madoka to put it in a vase later on.

"Len… I'm so happy you feel that way about me," I told him honestly, squeezing his hand in mine. "Thank you." In response, his lips sought my hand in a gentle peck. Then he squeezed my hand in response. The warmth he left behind still lingered from where he kissed me, leaving my skin tingling pleasantly.

Unlike my time with Akita-san and Teto, we lapsed into a sweet silence. We communicated with touches and kisses here and there, not feeling the need to speak up. We were simply content to be in each other's presence.

Len wasn't saying anything. I was feeling a little apprehensive now. This wasn't the first time we sat in silence, but this time something felt different. Maybe it was just the fact that my heart was beating twice as fast now that we were finally together again. Or maybe it was because our hearts were closer than before, after all that we'd been through. This kind of romance might seem obsolete in today's world, but this kind of happiness was like a finding a trove of diamonds. It was that precious to me. I wouldn't trade these moments for anything.

I felt strangely light as he embraced me in his lean, muscular arms. I think he could tell I was feeling a bit delirious because he gently moved his hand to the back of my neck before resting my head against his shoulder. This caring gesture made my heart swell and my throat thick with emotion.

Without words, the way he cared for me so gently made me happy beyond words.

Len… you seem to always guess how I'm feeling.

"What is it?" His voice was low and calm, but questioning. He spoke up so suddenly that it took me off-guard, and I was left breathless for a moment hearing him whisper right in my ear. It made my heart pound.

"Eh…?"

"Is this room too cold? You're trembling…"

"That's not it. Because Len is holding me so close, I feel so warm… and, ah. Am I too heavy…? You must be hungry after coming all this way. I can call-" Before I could even finishing what I was saying, he held me tighter. Cuddled up close, he pressed his cheek against mine. "Len…?" I started in a small voice, acutely aware of his sculpted, hard body against mine.

"Don't." His voice sounded almost like a plea as he continued holding me. "I'm okay. This is all I need."

His chest was so broad… and had his arms always been this strong?

"Rin…" The way he whispered my name so affectionately made the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. I loved the way I felt in his arms, so I just gave in and allowed him to hold me. "You've been incredible through all this."

"Me…?" I shifted slightly so I could turn to face him, as best as I could in any case. "I haven't done anything, compared to everything you've been through. And… even despite what you're shouldering, you still make time for me..." I was referring to how far in life he'd come and all the hardships he, with a heavy heart, must have faced during these five years. His life had changed, along with everything else he knew and loved. "You're done nothing but support me these past few months…"

"That's not true…" he answered carefully, and it made my heart unsettle. "And no matter how busy I get, of course I'll make time for you."

Len had told me as much as he could in response to all the questions I asked, but at times it felt as though he wasn't telling me everything. He hadn't told me very much about what happened to him in detail. It seemed to be a sensitive subject that he wasn't ready to open up with to me, which made me sad and lonely.

"About your work… you've told me as much as you could, but I'm still confused…" I traced a hand over his forehead, leading down to his jaw to check for any recent injuries. I paused in my ministrations when I felt the leathery material of his eyepatch. Grief wrenched my heart as I recounted the time he had told me how he had lost his right eye and left arm. It pained me to know he had sustained such lifelong injuries.

Certainly, if only I could have been there… maybe it wouldn't have happened.

I swallowed back my regret as well as my oncoming emotions.

"What is it that you're doing that hurts you so much...?" I asked in a soft voice. When I pressed a little harder against his chest with more force than usual, I heard him wince and hiss in pain. I felt a bump close to his clavicle and stopped, worried and confused.

"Ow…"

"Did that hurt? I'm sorry," I immediately said, feeling awful. "What happened? How did you get injured like that…?" In response, he took my hand and stroked my fingers in his. He continued caressing my fingers.

"I just got in a little fight… but don't worry. I'm fine. Really." He nuzzled into my palm before pecking it. "It's nothing, Rin. I'm okay."

I froze in horror, my worry rising. The way he said those words was so casual it was almost petrifying. He was acting as though he were used to getting hurt like this, as though it was nothing to be concerned about.

"It's not nothing…!" My voice broke off with emotion as I squeezed my eyes shut. "Why would people want to hurt you, Len?" I couldn't bear the thought of him getting hurt over and over again. He had told me before how important his job was to him, how it meant everything to him being part of the NND… but I didn't understand.

The world was more dangerous than ever, that much I was aware of. I had learned what the NND had become in order to safeguard the city. Len, too, had put it upon himself to advance.

Len was different now compared to how I remembered him when we were only fourteen… and I could sense it in my heart that he had changed. He was… more serious, mature - yet something stirred beneath his heart like a dormant volcano that drove him, made him the man he was today. I wasn't certain what it was. It was hard for me to describe. He didn't laugh or smile as much as he used to, and at times… I noticed he seemed to be in pain when I asked him about the past.

These scars left in his heart… I wanted to heal him. It broke my heart knowing he was in pain yet not knowing anything about it.

Len… I wish you could open your heart up to me. What could I do to make you feel better…?

"Len… if you're in pain, you don't need to hold it in just because of me…" I said in a soft voice. I touched his hand, amazed at how firm and manly his fingers felt. They were so much larger compared to my own. "You've already done so much to make me happy."

But underneath the quiet intensity of spirit, his touch was still firm yet gentle. It reminded me of the old Len.

Len was still silent, so I continued speaking.

"If you want, I can at least listen to you… I may not be able to do anything for you, but it's much better than having to worry about your problems by yourself," I said, pressing my head against his shoulder as I closed my eyes. "It really hurts me to know that you're struggling so much… and me being unable to do anything about it." A sadness wrenched my chest as I imagined him struggling without saying a word to anyone about it. It was painful. "I don't want to sit by and watch you get hurt… that's the one thing you can never ask of me."

Whatever happened to me was still affecting him to this day… and I wanted to be there by his side when he needed me. Whether we were facing hardships or basking in joy, I wanted us to be together through it all.

It was selfish of me to want this, but I couldn't help it. Just being with Len made me happy, and I wanted to do the same for him as well. Whatever it took for him to smile or laugh… that would be enough for me.

"...Just being around you helps, Rin. More than you'll ever know," he finally said in a firm voice, but the way he touched me was gentle and kind. "I don't ever want to let you go. It gets harder and harder to leave you every night."

"Len…"

I wanted to be annoyed with him for evading my question, but when he said sweet things like that so casually and meaningfully I couldn't stay upset. In any case, I could sense he wasn't ready to open up quite yet. I wanted to ask him about it more, but I had the feeling that he wouldn't give in. I was distressed, but I decided that the best option was to give him more time. In truth, I didn't want to have to wait until he got hurt again as another opportunity to ask… but I didn't want to force him into telling me if he didn't want to. I wanted him to tell me these things when he felt like he could truly trust me.

For now, I could sense he wanted to enjoy being with me. At least I could give him that. But I wouldn't stand for it if he got hurt again without telling me.

"My heart's always pounding whenever I'm near you… but when you do things like this, it beats so hard it hurts," I told him, pouting a little. "It's unfair." I always find myself worrying that my heart will stop one day if he keeps up this level of passion, but somehow it was a problem I enjoyed having.

"Jeez, Rin." Len made a clicking noise under his breath, as though annoyed. "Why are you so adorable?" I found his grumbling to be endearing. I tilted my head to hear the rest of his complaints. Was he… embarrassed?

The thought put a smile on my face, and I suddenly felt like teasing him a little.

"You find me adorable because I'm your girlfriend?" I suggested, my smile widening. I remembered Teto's words of encouragement, to be more enticing as a woman. I didn't know what she meant by that… but… maybe like this? I felt a little foolish for doing this but pressed on.

Len grunted. "Like I said, if you don't stop being adorable you can't blame me for what happens next."

I tilted my head at the tightness of his tone. Was he alright?

"Life is a bittersweet experience. But when I think about you, it's a weightless feeling. Like I'm walking on air," I told him, finding a certain joy in telling him these things. I wondered if my honesty moved him, even the tiniest bit. It would make me happy if it did.

"Rin…" I heard his breath hitch as he shifted me in his arms. There was a slight warning in his voice, but I pressed on.

"When I think about you, I feel a strange longing in my chest. It gets lonely. It hurts, and I don't want to let go of you. It's tortur- mm!"

Pulling me by the back of my neck, he pressed my weight onto him. He silenced my next words with another kiss, but I seemed to be the only one left breathless afterwards. It's unfair. The passionate kiss was almost enough to make up for all those heartrending departures. Swept up in the romance, I wrapped my arms around his neck.

I always thought I was the one at Len's mercy, that he had me wrapped around his finger… I knew I had always needed me, but as I felt the desperation and love through his touch I realized he must have been feeling the same way all this time. I wanted him to hold me like this more often.

When we parted, I did my best to muster a sulking expression.

"Why so suddenly? You can't just surprise me like that, Len."

"And who's responsible for this in the first place? I did warn you," he muttered, close enough for our foreheads to touch. "I'm just trying to relax, but if you keep riling me up like that then all my self-control that I'm building up is going to be for nothing." The seriousness in his voice made my heart beat faster than ever before. He could be a bit forceful, but I didn't dislike this part of him. I shivered as he traced a hand down my spine - it was sensuous and sweet at the same time. The trail of warmth he left behind left my body tingling. It made me nervous but excited all at once.

Pulling away slightly, I turned to face him as best as I possibly could.

"Len, I want to do something for you. Will you let me?"

"I could…" he said with a hint of suspicion. "But why are you so insistent about doing things for me today? What's gotten into you?"

I frowned, "Is it strange that I want to do something for the person I love most?"

"... The person you love m-most?" He repeated, and his voice strangled for a moment. "Don't say things like that so casually…!" A sharp cough ripped from his throat. "L-Like I said, you don't need to worry about me."

"No." I emphatically shook my head at that. "I know you don't want me to, but I can't do that. Even if it's just a little bit… won't you rely on me a little more?" I knew I was being stubborn, but I couldn't let him do all these things for me without returning the favor. More than anything, I also wanted to support him. Even during hard times- no, especially during hard times was when I wanted to be there for him most.

A long pause passed before he finally sighed.

"W-Well, then. Could you... lend me your lap?"

"My lap?" I repeated, uncertain if I heard him correctly.

"It's something only you can do," he conceded softly, "and I want your help for this. Is that okay?"

A small smile curved my lips at his awkward yet heartfelt request. It must have taken him a lot of effort to ask me this, and I knew he was trying to heed my desires. I nodded eagerly and prepared myself in a comfortable position, patting the spot beside me as a gesture for him to lie back. Somehow I was a little excited to be able to help him out like this. Even if it seemed like a menial thing to anyone else, that didn't change the fact that he asked me out of everyone he knew to do this. It made me feel like he really trusted me. I felt special.

I heard him rustling beside me, moving the blankets out of the way. Then the gentle sensation of his weight falling on my lap was made clear to me. With his head resting against my legs like this, it was as though he were showing me a side of him he never showed anyone else.

Right now, we were close.

"...I've always wanted to try this with you." He admitted as he rested his cheek on my thigh. A contented sigh escaped him. "If it were anyone else, this would feel really awkward. But with you, it's very comforting. I feel a lot calmer now."

"Is that right?" I murmured, tilting my head as I lowered my gaze downward.

"How about you, Rin? Does this feel weird?" He asked, sounding as though he were picking his next choice of words carefully. My hand had been hovering over him hesitantly until he spoke up, and then I carded my fingers through his hair. It was so long and wild, and he still had it tied in a ponytail. I smiled nostalgically.

"It's a little strange because we haven't done this in so long… but I like this. Touching you." I stroked his head similar in the way he had done to me earlier, inadvertently caressing his ears and jaw. His breath hitched in response to my curious ministrations. I lowered my head, breathing in his scent. "You're cold, but you smell like the sun, Len…"

"That's probably because I've been outside all day." He answered.

I wondered what kind of expression he was making right now. Unable to contain my curiosity, I traced his lips and jaw. Without thinking, I touched his face and tried to imagine what he looked like right now. As I tried to see with my hands what my eyes failed to do, I attempted to envision what Len might look like now.

Surely, the hard lines around his mouth shouldn't be there. Was he grimacing? Whatever didn't show on Len's face to be seen rang clear in his voice to be heard. He was weary and drained. The NND must be merciless in having him work so hard to maintain the safety of Tokyo-R… and that could also be said for his school. Whatever drove his purpose was a powerful force to be reckoned with.

I wish I could see him with my eyes.

When I had first woken up in this place, I'd been so terrified. Every sound, every sensation was different and unknown. There was still so much I had been trying to commit to memory and recognize by other means than my sight. But now, the experience wasn't so frightening now that I knew that many people, and especially Len, were watching over me.

My fond appreciation grew as I remembered the tender care I had received from Len and Gacha just a few weeks ago. Gacha had cried as he had taken in helping me into the wheelchair and then packing layers of blankets over and over so I wouldn't catch hypothermia. If I had believed him to be overprotective before, I had clearly been mistaken his ability to worry like a mother hen. After I had woken up, Gacha had been the first to see me right after Len. When he arrived, I had tasted the mixed anxiety and relief rolling off him in waves. Since then, he would scarcely leave my side.

Even without my sight, I could sense the warmth and compassion behind their actions… and yet…

I continued to caress Len's face, and he didn't stop me. Sometimes, he would squeeze or stroke my hand, but he didn't say anything. I could still feel the heat of his gaze on me. As I memorized the lines of his features, my mind lapsed into a trance.

No one had spoken about my current state, not my grandfather, not Dell-san, not my friends, not even Len - but I knew it was on everyone's mind. It would be a long, difficult road just to recover the strength I had lost through physical therapy I had already been doing. But without my sight, I would never be able to experience life as an ordinary girl.

It was a bittersweet thing, coming to terms with that thought.

I closed my eyes to hold back the oncoming tears. There were many times I wasn't able to reach the goals the nurses set for me during therapy. All the times I had cried, screamed into my pillow or pound my fists onto the floor each time I was overwhelmed at frustrations towards my weakness… I remembered all the times everyone had to comfort me, to give me reassuring words that I just needed time. But despite that, I was too angry to hear what they were saying. I just wanted everyone to stop treating me like I was broken. If they did, then maybe I could finally stop thinking that I was.

Grandfather hadn't come to see me since his last visit, and of course… my other last living relative, Lily, had never shown her face. Neither surprised me - we had never been that close. Still, I felt a sharp pain at the thought that my own sister never cared to see that I was alive after believing me to be dead. Perhaps it didn't matter Lily's reasons for staying away. I always regretted never being able to be there for Lily, for not being the family she needed.

And Mikuo-kun… he was gone, too. I felt an emptiness so vast whenever I heard him being brought up. The last thing I remembered about him was his cold words and how he had ripped my heart out that night. Len had told me, with a heavy heart and a downtrodden voice, how Mikuo had met his end sacrificing himself for the sake of his home as well as for Miku.

As I thought, deep down he truly had loved Miku, in his own way.

Seldom did anyone mention Mikuo-kun, but the faint throb of pain was still present. After all, I had considered him one of my dearest friends. He had always been distant even when we were children, but now that I think about it… maybe I never really understood him, after all. Perhaps we hadn't been as close as I thought. The thought made me sad and regretful.

I wish I could have done more for Mikuo-kun... maybe things wouldn't have turned out this way if I had been a better friend to him. Len had told me that for an instant, he had seemed truly at peace moments before he had died. I wanted to think that perhaps, he found some relief in letting go after suffering for so long. I hoped so. Wherever he was, I imagined him kindly looking after Miku.

It may be just selfish thinking on my part, however... it would be nice if it were true.

It seemed my death was postponed, for that I was thankful for. I was not ready to stop living, either. I had been given a second chance.

Soon I would returning to an uncertain future. I would be going to a housing compound under supervision and I was bound to return to school at some point. I wasn't certain if I was looking forward to what awaited me due to my circumstances. Even if I could no longer see the looks of pity and disappointment in the eyes of others, I would still feel them. I had long grown accustomed to the feeling of having my value weighed by people, but their piercing stares still affected me more than I wanted to admit.

Regret. I loathed the word but knew it was bound to be my constant companion now. The respect I had earned was certain to wither and die now that I was essentially an invalid now. Once again, the frustration I had worked hard to bury resurfaced, its ugly head rearing. My shoulders shook with anger at myself at the thought of being pushed aside and forgotten, little more than a child in constant need of care.

Was this the future meant for me? The one I fought so hard to achieve…?

"Rin?"

I jerked at hearing Len's voice so close when I hadn't sensed him moving. His cold, metallic hand cupped my cheek in a gesture of affectionate concern.

"Sorry for startling you, but…" Len faded off, as though unsure how to breach the silence. He seemed to have sensed that my thoughts had taken a bitter turn. I must have making so many troubling faces that he couldn't stand to be quiet any longer. It was disconcerting to realize my emotions could be seen plain as day on my face when I hadn't even noticed it.

If my private thoughts were thought palpable, they may as well have been been written out in ink. For a moment I was torn between shame and frustration. A part of me was pleased that Len could tell I was feeling, but another part was severely frustrated in my own ineptitude. When had become so full of these volatile feelings that I couldn't even control the way I expressed myself? If I had showing such an unpleasant side of myself all this time, I couldn't even begin to imagine how I must have made others feel…

With Len here, at least I didn't feel the burning shame of humiliation. I trusted him more than anyone. Even during the worst tantrums I had thrown, he would always hold me and listen to me as I bawled out my self-hatred. He wouldn't say anything. He would just comfort me until I calmed down. It was the same when I had nightmares. My hysterical fits of delirium had never deterred him from reaching out to me. Not once had he complained.

I had never known such devotion or love in my life… until now.

"Did you eat yet?" I asked, then I remembered how much he loved eating bananas for breakfast. Did he still eat them every morning like he used to, I wondered. I twiddled my fingers before speaking up. "They have bananas and muffins… and banana muffins. I can ask…"

"So, you remembered. What am I saying… of course you did." Beneath my fingertips, I felt his lips curve into a smirk. "In answer to your question- I can wait a little longer. I'm not that hungry right now."

I relaxed as he pulled a hanging curl behind my ear, tracing my cheekbone with his thumb. I nodded in reply, long hair falling into my sightless eyes. He seemed to hesitate before brushing my bangs out of my way, and he did so with such care it made my heart ache.

"What are you thinking?" he asked me in a voice so quiet I wasn't certain if he whispering or not.

I lifted my face up towards the warmth of the sun, I closed my eyes and and breathed in deeply of the crisp, autumn air. I knew the window was open because I could hear the wind chimes clearly from where we sat. In my memory, the air of the country had always been clean and fresh, but now I could detect other scents mingling in the breeze. I took my time pulling them apart and identifying what I smelled.

"Everything… is intense." I voiced my thoughts aloud.

"Can you tell me about it?"

I nibbled my lower lip, wondering how to best describe this new and bewildering experience. It was frightening but fascinating at the same time. "I remember eating lunch in this room many times with the window open, but… since when did the smell of chestnuts and," I sniffed the air, "sweet potatoes become so strong?"

For a moment, I thought of a deep forest spreading across the land like a sea of orange autumn foliage. I imagined a small column of smoke from a campfire rising up into a crisp, blue sky. Then I imagined a couple holding hands in the middle of it all. I blushed at the idea of myself and Len as the lovers.

"You're turning red, Rin." A low chuckle rumbled in Len's throat, and it reminded me of a lion. Right now, it was like having a big cat in my lap. It was an entertaining thought to imagine pampering Len as a lion. I giggled at the thought. "You look like an apple in bloom. Are you coming down with a cold?" He touched my forehead, and I realized how close our faces were. His breath mingled with mine.

"N-no…" I hadn't realized I was holding my breath until he finally pulled away. I was left feeling lightheaded, and he wasn't even aware. I wasn't certain whether to be relieved or disappointed.

"I can't assume that your sense of smell is suddenly better because of your loss of sight, but… it sounds like your other senses compensating for just that," he told me. "There's a college campus outside. When I passed it on my way here, I saw some students crowding around a bonfire. They were roasting things wrapped in foil." He inhaled deeply before a sigh whistled out. "I don't have a great sense of smell, so I couldn't even tell."

I giggled, "But you can smell bananas from anywhere." I glowed as a memory came back to me. "Do you remember when Nami made banana bread that time you came home from soccer practice?" I asked with a fond smile. During that time, we walked home together because I wanted to watch him. "You managed to smell it even before we made it to the driveway. Then you ended up running the rest of the way until you reached the door."

"I remember. That was a long time ago…" He sounded impressed. Then he laughed. It was a quiet laugh, but one that I came to love and treasure. "Still, it's remarkable that you were able to smell that from all the way from here."

"What about your other senses?" I felt him shift as the bed creaked beneath our combined weight. He was cupping both my cheeks in his large palms. "Can you tell me more?"

My brow creased before I let out a sigh and closed my unseeing eyes out of habit to concentrate. Beside me, Len sat completely still. I could tell didn't want to distract me. A semblance of the room's interior formed in my mind. I was aware of how big it was because of how many times I had traced its walls and the furniture. The window… was on the right side of where I was.

"The wind…" I rose my face in direction of the breeze. "It's coming from the north. I can hear…" I twisted my mouth into a frown as a cacophony of sound was made clear to my ears. Clattering and intermittent shouting blended together like oil and water. In my mind I was reaching for them stubbornly, trying to pry them apart and differentiate these noises. I tried harder to identify something, anything that was familiar.

"No…!" My head started to pound from the sensory overload. It was too much. Fire seared through my senses and I cried out in pain, clutching it with both hands. In a heartbeat Len was there, his strong hands joining mine with a gentle chill from his cold fingers soothing my inflamed nerves.

"Shh, it's going to be alright," he murmured, dropping a kiss against my brow to ground me in my dark world. He held me against him, stroking the small of my back in soothing, circular motions. "I'm here, Rin."

"I'm sorry," I panted softly, my breathing starting to return to a steady rhythm. I reached up to grasp his wrists, holding onto him instead of letting go. "Yes… I-I'm fine now. I'm sorry for making you worry… I'm sorry." I whispered, apologizing over and over again. The tears I worked so hard to hold back spilled over. All I do is weigh everyone down, and I'm always making trouble for Len. I couldn't stand myself… I was so pathetic.

"No, no no no," Len whispered back, his fingers wiping the tears from my eyes. "It's not your fault. I know it's hard for you right now. I know I must be pushing you a lot…" He held me close, rocking me back and forth. "You've been frustrated over these past few months. I could tell, Rin..." His lips collided against mine before parting. The warmth from his lips had seeped into mine, leaving me tingling all over. "But I want you to know something. Something I've learned recently."

"What is that?" I sniffed.

"It's important to consider what you have… instead of what you've lost."

Len believed in me so much that it hurt. Despite his kind words, it only increased my doubt. I was too afraid of having hope, of trying to live up to what expectations I wanted to set for myself but could never reach.

"Len, it's useless. I'll never-"

"Stop," he hissed and I flinched at the strangled emotion in his voice.

"Len…?"

"You don't -" I felt him shaking. He held me tighter as though afraid to let me go. "You don't know how long I-. We'll get through this, Rin. It doesn't matter what it is. Whatever it takes, we'll do it. So do one thing for me… don't give up." His voice slipped to a near silent whisper. "There never should have been a first time."

He still blames himself. The memory of him suffering long after I departed was made clear in my mind. The realization pained me more than anything ever did. Releasing his hand, I hesitantly reached up to touch his cheek, my fingers trailing over the thin scar on the curve of his smooth skin until I fully cupped his face.

I was about to apologize until realizing those were not the words neither of us needed to hear.

Gradually, my heart settled.

Swallowing back my fear, I uttered my next confession. Don't hold back. Take a chance. Be honest. I kept telling myself these things until I summoned my voice.

"I'm so afraid, Len." But I want to try. "I don't think… I can do this alone. I want to stay here with you, even if I'm like this… is that okay?"

Len's breath left with all the force of a gale. I was given the impression that he acted calm and mature in the presence of others, and he hadn't lost his composure while being here. As quickly as my admission left me, my heart swelled at the realization of knowing how he showed me this vulnerable side of himself. A mutual understanding washed over us, an unspoken forgiveness for a sin I never held him responsible for in the first place.

His confidence was mine, and I, his.

His hand cradled the back of my neck as he pulled me into a heart rending embrace. Despite his silence, I could feel all his emotions washing over me in waves. His gratitude, desperation, and his determination - these were the feelings I recognized the longer he held me.

"I know, Rin." he told me, the smooth quality of his cool voice ringing in my ear. "I won't leave you alone ever again. I'm right here."

I returned his embrace wholeheartedly, taking comfort in the strength of his arms. He was pressed so close against me I could feel his heart pounding against my own chest.

"Yes," Raising a hand to his face, I gently pulled his head down to rest against the nape of my neck. It wasn't until then I realized I would need to try harder to become strong. "The future is something I fear," I said, "But we can figure it out… together?"

"Yeah. I don't know what will happen," he murmured his thoughts aloud. "You won't stay here forever, but I know I want you in my sight."

Some of the stiffness eased out of my shoulders at his gentle reassurance. Len always had a way of making the insurmountable seem bearable. He was always persistent, determined - it was one of his most enduring qualities. It was one of the things that made me fall in love with him in the first place.

Live.

Turning my cheek into the slope of his shoulder, I obeyed the gentle command of my memory.

Even after my supposed death, everyone had continued living, continued dreaming. Time had continued without me, and I was the last leaf on the eve of winter, balanced on the edge of two worlds and belonging to neither.

"Life has moved on without me…" I said aloud, realizing how much has changed. "But… maybe it will wait for me to catch up."

---

Len's POV

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.

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Night had long since fallen.

Staring out the wide window of Rin's hospital room, I watched the city glowing in the horizon. The landscape itself was a seas of lights, flickering like spirits looking for children to steal into the night like in the stories. For the first time in a long while, I stopped to watch the world with contentment.

This was all possible because of the woman in my arms.

Rin's head was tucked under my chin as she slept in my arms. Her hands were daintily pressed against my chest, and her smooth thighs were curled around one of my legs. The city from up here was a breathtaking sight, but I lowered my gaze to admire the better view lying in bed beside me.

I listened to Rin's even breaths as she slept. Her body had filled out nicely. She had gained weight over the past few weeks, and she no longer looked as gaunt or thin as she used to when I first found her.

My gaze roamed over her newly developed curves and smooth skin.

My rough fingers, calloused from labor, sifted through her soft hair and down the curve of her cheek. Her skin was so smooth that it seemed to run through my touch like water. I couldn't remember touching anything so beautiful. I had to stop myself from exploring further by the time I touched her shoulder. She shivered in response to my touch, her moist lips parting as a soft cry escaped. A surge of desire ran blood-hot through my veins, shaking me to the core. I inhaled sharply before pulling my hand away.

I had to control myself. This wasn't about me.

During the first few days in the hospital, she'd been terrified of every sound, every movement in the unknown environment and had fervently clung to me every moment I was with her. Her mind hadn't been as stable as we were led to believe.

I rolled on my side, facing her fully. I watched with avid interest as her abdomen move up and down as she took each breath. What was it like living in that pretty little head of hers?

Feeling myself calm, I threaded my free hand deep into Rin's hair and let it slip through each digit, admiring how the strands glowed in the moonlight, just like gold silk. It fell past her shoulders in mesmerizing waves, pleasing to the eye. There was no doubt in my mind that Rin was the most beautiful woman in the world. To this day, I could hardly believe she was really mine…

Then I shook my head to clear away those dark thoughts, correcting myself.

No… Rin belonged to herself, not to me. I wouldn't treat her like an object of desire like so many others did. She was too special to me. I didn't pick her, no. She chose to be with me.

And yet, here she was; in my arms, in this bed. Against all odds when I believed her to be lost in my life forever, she decided to return. It was as though I had been given another chance to do what I never imagined could be possible. She had lost her vision, but that didn't lessen her value in my eyes. Only a fool would would mistreat a gift, and I wasn't a fool.

At the same time, I wasn't a man of unlimited restraint. In fact, it took all I had to restrain myself. Lying within reach was the girl turned woman who I had sworn to protect since my innocent days of childhood. When it came to being in the same bed at night with her, the one I loved most, every ounce of my self-control was being put to the test. Just last year, I'd been longing for this moment too long to allow it to go to waste.

How had I survived this long without her?

Having her here, voluntarily imprisoned in my grasp, was a comfort sweeter than I ever imagined it to be. All the pain and heartbreak I went through just to have her snuggling up close to me as though we were the only ones in the world - suddenly it was all worth it. I was serious when I had decided to move on when I believed I would never see her again. But now that I was here in the present, I knew I could never go back to the way I used to live without her.

A sweet, burning ache throbbed in my chest the more I saw Rin. She was genuine, so pure of heart. At times she could be clumsy when it came to socializing with others, and then there were the times she could be stubborn. But every side of her was precious to me.

"I really am no match for you, Rin," I told her in a hushed voice, careful not to wake her. I was completely at the mercy of these tumultuous, fervent feelings I had for her...

"No! Don't hurt me, father!"

I jolted to awareness when a piercing scream shattered the night to pieces. The hoarse cries in her throat ripped through my heart like a knife stabbing in my chest over and over again. Having steel driven through my body was nothing compared to the tears running down her cheeks. She struggled against me, and I realized she was having night terrors.

This wasn't the first time it happened.

"Rin, shh… shh…" I murmured in a gentle voice, wincing slightly as she pummeled my chest with her tiny, closed fists. "It's okay, sweetheart. You're only having a nightmare."

"No… nein… please don't leave me alone…!" Her body twisted, writhed, and then arched out of my reach. In a quick motion, I held her by the arms as she thrashed against me. "The dark…! I don't like the dark!" A whine escaped her as more tears slipped down from her face. She stiffened and I quickly slipped my other arm around her firmly wrap her in my embrace. As soon as the initial shock subsided, her eyes snapped open. She had woken up. In a state of alarm, she started to squirm in panic, one hand tugging futility at my arm.

"W-Who are you?! Let go of me…!" She squeaked.

"Shh… hush." With that whispered command, I tightened my hold on her until I was nearly squeezing the breath out of her. Finally, she halted in her struggles due the lack of ability to. Her short, panting breaths echoed throughout the dark room with near inaudible whimpers stabbing repeatedly at my chest. I closed my left eye, aware of her heart fluttering madly like a caged butterfly. I eased my hold slightly in hopes to have her settle down. It took a few moments for her breathing to become steady again.

Len, you moron. Don't scare her like that.

"It's just me…" Hearing my voice clearly in the room, she finally began to relax. I shifted my hold on her to hug her around the waist instead of trapping her arms. Then I turned her over and held her from behind. This position was less restrictive and far more comfortable this way for both of us. Pressing my nose into her hair, I inhaled deeply of her soft fragrance and sighed contentedly. I would walk through hell and back if it meant being able to hold her like this every night for the rest of my life.

"Len…" A quiet sniff broke me from my reverie. It was then I noticed she was still shaking.

"Rin," I murmured and she shivered as my breath hovered over the back of her neck. "When have I ever allowed you to get hurt in my vicinity? Didn't I say that I would always protect you?" Her breath caught in her throat at my gentle inquiry. I knew that she knew there was but one answer to that. For months it had been my arms that held her through her nightmares, it had been my voice that comforted her during those hard sessions in therapy. It was me who held her in my arms, chasing away her fears that came in the form of demons. When no one knew she was even alive, I was the one who found her and dragged her back to shore for her to live. It must have been divine intervention that allowed us to meet again under the most unlikely of circumstances. Had I not found her in time she could have wandered the earth, lost in illusions forever… but here she was, and all that mattered was that she had come back. To me.

"Just a nightmare…? That's right. Ah… thank you, Len." With a sleepy moan, Rin went limp in my arms. Elation swelled within me as I felt her return my embrace. Squeezing her once, I nuzzled my face into the nape of her neck and placed a tender kiss on her milky shoulder. I hid a grin against her skin as she squeaked.

As I coaxed her back to sleep by humming her favorite lullaby, Fly Me to the Moon, my mind drifted elsewhere.

Dell certainly hadn't cut corners with her diagnosis. One month ago, he had broken the news to her that her vision was, basically, irreparable.

"Given a proper diet and physical therapy, you will be back on your feet within a few months' time. Your eyes, however… are a different matter entirely," Dell had said to her. I had been sitting beside her, allowing her to hold onto my arm as she had listened, pallid cheeks. "From what the X-ray showed me, I have never seen damage this extensive. The retinas look as though they've been melted under massive exposure." The news had left me reeling in shock, but Rin hadn't said a word throughout the entire conversation. "While it has been shown in recent clinical trials that human stem cells can be cultivated to become retinal pigment epithelium, or RPE for short, cells, there hasn't been a successful RPE operation," he had continued in a somber tone. "Perhaps with a RPE cell transplant we may be able to to restore your sight… however, the chances of that are less than four percent. I'm sorry."

For a moment I stopped humming. I clenched my teeth to suppress the anger building up inside me. Less than four percent was hardly a chance at all. Rin would never see again.

Just then, my phone vibrated in my back pocket. I opened the messenger app and squinted my eye against the glare of the screen.

2 new messages.

One of them was from Kaito, and the other was from Ted.

I opened the first one from Kaito, being careful not to wake Rin.

"Hey, how's Bunny-chan? Meiko wants to know if she's well enough to be visited by us tomorrow."

I snorted lightly, smirking at his indirect way of telling me that he was worried about Rin just as much as Meiko-nee was. I typed a reply, letting him know that she asked about him and Meiko-nee, and that she was more than happy to see them anytime.

Of course, it wasn't easy to get Meiko-nee to see Rin at first. For a long while, it was hard for the former to see her the way she had been the first time she had been brought in. Meiko-nee had only visited in short spurts and always when she already had me or Kaito to visit. Needless to say, she needed a bit of talking to.

"Dell-san told me about her… not ever being able to see again. I just don't know how to be there for her like I used to. I look at her, and God… I think, what happened to the girl full of wonder and curiosity?" Meiko had admitted when I confronted her about her avoidance. "I don't know how to act around her. I don't remember how I used to be there for her and give her the right words. We're not the same people anymore… but I don't want to end up hurting her. I couldn't do that to her, Len."

"Are you insane? Your avoidance hurts her more."

Meiko-nee started coming in more after that. She even snuck in orange chicken and tempura, keeping her company when none of us could. When it became clear that Rin's attitude hadn't changed over the years, Meiko-nee no longer displayed discomfort in her presence. If anything, she could've been considered to be her best cheerleader coaching her during physical therapy sessions. Apart from myself and Ryuto, she even started helping out with exercises under the nurse's guidance.

My smartphone buzzed with an immediate reply. This time, it was from Meiko herself.

"Let Rin-chan know that I'm bringing a surprise! Don't tell her, but it's a luscious slice of mandarin cake! Of course, if she's worried about maintain her weight… it's the boyfriend's responsibility to help her 'burn calories!" There was a barrage of winking emoticons popping up all over the place. Suddenly, I caught the innuendo and my body turned to stone.

"Wha…!?" I was at a loss for words. The heat seeped to my neck and up my face, burning my vision red.

With Rin right next to me, it was all too easy to come up with the most indecent imaginings that came to mind. I shook my head to clear those thoughts away, feeling a vein in my forehead throb in annoyance.

Meiko-nee…!

After texting back an angry reply of telling her not to make jokes like that, she immediately replied with an insincere apology.

"Tch… treating me like a kid even after all these years. You never change," I muttered, but despite myself I felt a slight smile coming on. I repressed it, however, not wanting to give her the satisfaction even if she couldn't see me. Instead I opened the message from Ted.

"You're late. Are you staying over there again?"

I replied with a 'yes' before sending. Two minutes later, I received Ted's correspondence.

"Don't worry about making it back for tomorrow's shift. Dell moved the schedule on short notice. He has something planned for you and Rin."

Something special? I cocked my brow, wondering what he meant. Here I was planning to get my homework done tomorrow night. I did bring my books and laptop so I could do all my assignments on time before Monday rolled around. It was so I could spend more time with Rin, and frankly, I didn't want anything to get in the way of that.

My smartphone vibrated as a notification from Dell popped my eye roamed over the contents of my "special mission", an excited grin slowly crept onto my face. Never had I been so thankful to have him as my stepdad until now. This was big news. I couldn't wait to tell Rin.

Rin shifted in her sleep, calling out my name in her dreams. All at once, the love I had for her came washing down on me all over again like spring rain. I stared down at her as she buried her face in my neck with a small smile on her face. The rest of her tears had dried up.

The sound of her breathing wracking me to my bones felt very real. The image of her sleeping in my arms would forever be burned in my memory. I felt alive, ready to take on whatever the world decided to throw me - I was incinerating from the inside out like someone was cauterizing every vessel of my soul.

The first time I kissed Rin after so long I felt like a man who'd discovered water after been deprived of thirst for so long. Even after every kiss, I took my time drinking her in.

The corner of my mouth tilted up as I heard her mumble something in her dream.

Was this happiness?

No… it was more than that.

I just realized my reason for being.

"Sleep, Rin…" I'll take care of you now.

---

A/N: Wow. Happy New Year! And Happy Birthday to me~! I uploaded this right on time to celebrate. I… have no words. Except this is the first of many chapters that have yet to come. It's shorter than my usual uploads, but I wanted to test the waters with this one. A special thanks to Emma for making this happen. This potential wreckage of a hot ficlet couldn't have been possible without you. You are the greatest golden girl there ever was.

I realize many of you may still have questions about many things. I missed my shy readers and most inquisitive inquirers. Have at me! But if you find my head spinning around somewhere, please return it. It's been a long semester and an even longer year.

If you have any questions, just drop me a line. But please try to keep them one at a time. There's only so much I can give away without spoiling. Yes. I honestly had reservations about posting this publicly because of several unpleasant experiences I had on this site... but I want to be able to enjoy sharing my imagination with people who honestly enjoy reading what I write. Those are my honest feelings.

So please, be honest with me as well and write your heartfelt feedback. It would mean a lot to me.