By the very grace of Arceus, this Magikarp could perform Bounce, Tackle, and Flail. But please explain this to me, and do so slow and clearly, how Arceus thought that it would help me survive on Mt. friggin Silver?
If this was a TV show, there would be a recording of [audience laughs] playing.
But this was no TV show, sadly. And it started out so G-rated as well, lulling me into a false sense of security and toxic arrogance.
However, that is the least of my worries right now, because Mt. Silver has a high altitude, and was therefore short on air and warmth.
It was so friggin cold.
I cannot emphasize enough you how cold it was. One moment I was fine, content temperature and humidity wise, the next instant I was standing in the snow with the temperature difference slamming into me like a belated Truck-kun. My vision spun and just as I tried to regain balance while hugging this around 10 kg fish for warmth, who shivered with me in concert, something tapped my shoulder. Millimeter by millimeter, I slowly rotated to preserve heat and energy into that direction. From the corner of my eye a fuzzy humanoid figure, much taller than me, became clearer and clearer until I faced him straight, still silent and shivering, wondering how the hell he wasn't freezing, simply motionless and blinking.
We continued to stare, me with Magikarp as backup, both sure to perish from hypothermia, and the other a statue of a human with just as much personality just… Looking. Playing elevator music behind his eyes. Not in the stupid sense, but in the 'not processing any coherent thoughts' sense. Or maybe it was surprise instead. I wouldn't know. I was too cold to think properly. Maybe this is how people in cold areas survive, by playing elevator music in your brain is how you save your intelligence for later.
I then blacked out. Turns out those blinking spots I saw weren't from the snowfall after all.