A/N: OMG okai my BFF somerdaye wrote this oneshot that i liked...and yea..it was a ONESHOT so i was like Waa!! so, since she wont write more of it, i have decised to write a companion piece!! yea there WILL be mistakes and crap cause i dont have a beta and im on a writing thing that doesnt have an editing thinger...so...lol SORRY IF THERE ARE MISTAKES!(and there will be)
Hi again Riku. It's been two months since i talked to you. I couldnt stop myself from comming back, I miss you to much. You know, I wish i had done alot of things before you died. There was so much i wanted to say, to do...and i cant now. I think about how I had been the reason for your death, i think about it every day.
Why am i telling you this? you cant even hear me...your in a different place away from me...and i think thats a good thing. I wasnt always the greatest friend of all, hell i wasnt a really good friend at all. i left all the time...i went missing for days, weeks, all cause i was so broken up about how you and kairi where together. I was so prepaired to tell you that i loved you, but when you and her got together, i just couldnt. I didnt need the rejection by you, it only proved to me that we couldnt be together. That hurt deep.
So now you know...well you dont really know but atleast i have talked about it, never really have. Could you have ever loved me though? No i know you couldnt, you where to strait for that. You didnt even like it when I joked around with you like that, so i kow we couldnt be...never...and that hurt deep too. there where alot of times I almost said those 3 words, but I stoped myself from saying them...good job eh?
i didnt need to ruin our friendship...i couldnt do that. it eats at me evryday you know? what if i had just said that i loved you before...then i wouldnt have been the cause of your death and you would be alive and getting married to kairi, and i would have been happy for you, you would have been happy and would have had the life you always wanted.
You know, i always dreamed that maybe when it was your wedding, it would go like this. You would be standing infront of kairi, all beautifull in her white dress and you so handsome in your tux, and your holding her hand, and there are people so happy and crying in the crowd of people, all so happy for you. And before you said i do you looked behind you, lookin at me right in the eyes, looked back at kairi and then let go of kairi's hands. Then say to kairi im sorry kairi i cant marry you, my heart belongs to sora, and this just doesnt feel right. Then you would turn around and kiss me, and then you and i could be together...but...i killed you, and you never got married like you wanted. I ruined everything.
You know, kairi still wears your ring, and she talks about you all the time. She says she doesnt blame me for your death...but i can see it in her eyes. You know how she couldnt lie very well to us, we could read her like a book. I remember when we were younger, you would always tell me that you where going to marry kairi, and you asked me who i was gonna marry, and i always said no one, and you never asked my why. i was thankfull for that cause i really couldnt tell you, cause i wanted to marry you...but you loved kairi and then when you where suppose to marry her so i knew i was destined to be alone.
Funny, they always say you hurts the ones you love the most...hell i hurt you the worst way, i killed you. You could be married and have kids but no...i had to grab the weel...and im such an idiot. You know, kairi gave me 5 letters that she found in your box, the one you had hidden in the closet. she handed me 5 envelopes with my name on them, and i havent opened them. i dont want to. like, there letters you didnt give me, so you didnt want me to read them, so i wont. Sometimes i wonder if i should open them...but i wont. if u didnt give me them yourself then i wasnt suppose to read, and i wont. i cant.
I cut myself a few times since i last talked to you. I know, it sad, and you wouldnt be impressed at all. but Riku...i just feel like i have to do it you know? cause im the cause of your death, and i think i should be punished for it. Ha im such an idiot, you cant even hear me...your somewhere with selphie having fun, so if you could u wouldnt even pay attention to me...i bet you hate me. I wouldnt blame you.
I dont get why i bothered to come...all im doing ot talking to a slab of cement that makes me so sad. and my pants r so muddy, it rained today..and i know how i loved rainy days. God i cant take this, i have to go. Riku, if u can hear me i hope you knwo i love you more then life...maybe i'll come talk again soon.
A/N: YAY! lol i got that done. it prob isnt as good as hers though, she is so good at writing, i cant even come close lol. Well im going to put the link to her story on my profile...cause some of you MIGHT have read this without reading hers first..so lol.