Adamants Of The Vicarious Maiden
Summary: Misty always did this, Misty would never do that, Misty liked, Misty, but what about me?
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His starter totally destroyed my bike. Just like her.
I'm traveling along with him because it's been destroyed. Just like her.
It's not the true reason I'm following him. Just like her.
I have a conflicting romantic and Tom Boy side. Just like her.
Unlike her, I can't stand water monsters and they can't stand me.
Unlike her, I ultimately can enjoy my family's company.
Unlike her, I know where my parents are.
Unlike her, I'm not pretending that I don't like him.
And as for her and I, her, Her, HER!
Why am I always trapped in the context of her?
Can't I exist on my own? Does everything thought of I have of him have to mix with competing with her?
Why do those who know her always stamp the word 'replacement' or 'imposter' on my forehead?
Is, that, all you see. Do you think, that is all, that makes me?
Why can't it end there? But it turns out another her, one he knew before he ever met the one I'm always compared to, has the same name as me. He hasn't seen this original her for years. Yet even my –name- is compared to another.
Is my existence only defined by the comparisons it makes on others? How did I become snagged in this trap? I take the road less traveled by, I become an entertainer rather then a battler. Yet the first thing that comes to those who know us both is 'me and her.' She can exist on her own. No one is comparing her to anyone.
Her sisters try to impose a 'her and them' on her. They fail wonderfully.
That's the thing though. Those around me, they aren't –trying- they simply do. They don't try to force me into a mold so they can say I don't fit in. Without thinking they simply line me up side by side with her.
You talk about how both she and I found a difficult blue child monster, how both of us came to love them, how for their own sake we had to let them go against their own wishes. How our situation are reflections of each other.
You talk about how she never complained quite as much as I do about our long treks.
You talk about how she never showed off her feminine quite as much as I do.
Is, that, all you see. Do you think, that is all, that makes me?
You tell me, 'it may be misty today.'
Do you say it on purpose? By chance? Subconsciously?
I'm me! I'm no one else!
I'm not her! I'm not anyone else!
I'm myself! Only myself!
There is no one else in looking back in the mirror!
I'm the only person there on the other side!
I'm not a cardboard cut out to have someone else's face placed over my own!
I'm not a tailor's dummy to have a face-mask forced over my head!
I'm not a tied over!
I'm not a replacement!
Is, that, all you see. Do you think, that is all, that makes me?
I am only me! Look at me and tell me who you see!
There is only one person who should be!
Don't talk about her, and tell me what you need, and see there is someone else next to you.
Is it really her you want rather then me, but first realize there –is- another me, see that someone else is here next to you.
Tell me what you think of me, and not how I am or am not like her, and tell me, which of us you want, but realize first it's me and not her next to you.
And realize there is more to me then what you see, that is much more that makes up me.
Fin
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Flames, comments, reactions good or bad, rants, retorts, suggestions on improvements (very welcome) praise, and occasional constructive criticism all welcome.
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Thanks for the inspiration Farla.