((Hey, ho, everyone! Kuro-chan here! This little ficcy here is a lot like Bittersweet Romance (check it out if you haven't already ^_^ ), but slightly more light-hearted and more comical then it's companion. Not to mention there are actually quite a few differences. So read away and be amused! Drop a review, too! ))

****

Tien and Chaozu sat in front of the fireplace, sipping hot chocolate after a tough day of training. Chaozu stared into the crackling flames, entranced by their graceful and rhythmic movements. The small emperor took another sip of his cocoa and sighed, his tongue darting out to lick clean his upper lip. Tien sat behind him, up on a chair rather than on the floor. He sipped at his own drink infrequently, for something had been bothering him for the entire day, but he dismissed it as nothing. Chaozu, however, was feeling a pang of bother, and he could sense this. You would think he could simply read Chaozu's thoughts to pinpoint the problem, but it wasn't that simple. Chaozu had put up a fine mental block, carefully guarding his thoughts. The one thing he couldn't guard was the disorder he felt that flooded their mental link. Tien voiced his concern.

"What's bugging you, little guy?" he asked, tracing the rim of his mug with his index finger.

Chaozu turned around and looked at him. "Nothing, Tien. I'm just fine. Why do you ask?"

"I can feel the discomfort seeping through the mental link. You may be able to cloak your emotions from other people, but you can't hide them from me."

Chaozu turned back around and stared into the fire. "Well, I..."

"Yes?"

"I was wondering what the point of training is if...if...WHY THE FUCK AM I SO WEAK???" he blurted suddenly, yelling angrily and panting heavily. Hot tears of rage began to trickle softly down his round face. He clenched his fists and bit down on his lower lip.

Tien set his cocoa mug cup down. "Come up here and talk to me."

Chaozu turned around quickly and glared at Tien. "I'm not four years old." he snapped angrily, hastily pawing away the tears.

Tien leaned over and scooped the small man up. He set him in his lap and looked down at him. Chaozu turned his head away indignantly. Tien put a hand around Chaozu and pulled him close.

"So you're a little less physically strong then the others but...you make up with your strong mind." Tien tried, patting Chaozu's back and resting his chin on the tiny psychic's head.

"That doesn't win battles, you know." he grumbled icily, pulling away.

"For someone who claims he's not four years old, you're certainly acting it."

"You have no idea what its like to be so...so...weak. Strength comes naturally to you, and I..." He glanced downwards. "...feel so small."

"It's all good. I could care less. The others feel the same way, I'm sure." the triclops murmured, absentmindedly tracing the red cheek patches on his dwarfish friend's face, and wiping away rouge tear.

Chaozu turned his face upwards. "I guess you're right..." he said glumly.

Tien straightened up and set Chaozu on the floor. He turned to go to his room, but first looked back at Chaozu. "Remember...it's not the size of the blade, but the skill with the sword that counts." he laughed short and staccato, and then disappeared into the bedroom.

Chaozu sat by the flames and picked up his cocoa mug once again. He couldn't help feel a hot blush unnoticeably stain his cheeks as he reflected on what Tien had meant...

*

Tien sat on the edge of his bed, still feeling a pang of discomfort trickle into his mind...but he knew it wasn't Chaozu; it was something else. He had the rare ability to sense everyone's pain, strife, guilt and grief. He tried to shut it out, because if he didn't, it would be like the whole world talking to him. What did he look like? An agony aunt? (A/N: An agony aunt is one of those woman in the magazine that people write to with their problems in hopes the 'agony aunt' can solve them...you know what I mean...Like Anne Landers or Dear Abby.) But this one was strong. It was someone close...one of the Z fighters probably. They were the hardest to shut out, because he had become attached to them, in a sense. It picked up, not only grief but strife and...listlessness. Apathy. Lethargy. So many negative feelings and then the twirling pain of a Chi signal slowly ebbing away...this was bad. He should probably go check it out. He stood up and walked back out to where Chaozu was laying, still by the fire.

"Hey." he said, trying to get his attention.

No response.

He went over and rolled Chaozu over onto his back only to find out that he was asleep. Tien laughed and picked him up, carrying him into the bedroom. He tucked him into bed, and smiled down at him. It was so hard to believe he was a grown man. He seemed so young, so small, so...fragile. It wasn't only his childish features that betrayed his true age, it was all in the way he acted, the way he spoke and gestured. But...it didn't matter. Despite what people said or joked about, the little fella was more of a baby brother to Tien than a romantic interest. He gave Chaozu a quick goodnight kiss on the cheek and left the room. He wrote down a note on the table, explaining he would be out for a bit, and that he'd be back soon. He threw open the door and headed to the source of the problem...West City.

*

It didn't take him long to get to the grand city. He flew overhead, cloaked by darkness, toward the epicenter of pain. He could feel the amplified grief and deep sorrow amplify the closer he got. He landed outside of the residence, a small low-rent house...one he recognized as Yamcha's. He slammed open the door, yet that was not necessary as it gave easy entry without hassle. He stepped in and… immediately slipped on a sake bottle. He landed with a crash and jumped up instantly, afraid of what he may have landed in. The whole house had gone to pot; you couldn't move anywhere without stepping on rubbish, broken glass or a beer can. The whole living room was like one giant dump that looked like it hadn't been cleaned in days. And that was just the living room. The overall smell of the place was not a pleasant one, but it wasn't overwhelmingly gut wrenching. He plodded up the stairs and paused at the door to Yamcha's bedroom. He gave the door a few brief taps and when no answer resounded, pushed it open. Nothing could have ever prepared him for the first sight he saw when he opened the door. The room was dark, and Tien could at first only make out vague outlines. But once he stepped inside the room, the pale glow of the hallway light spilled into the room, tumbling onto one of the most heart-stopping exhibitions he had ever seen. Yamcha was lying slumped against the edge of his bed, surrounded by a carmine pool of blood. At first, Tien stood there paralyzed with fear as his heart hammered furiously at the inside of his chest, his lungs constricted with utter shock. His jaw trembled, and he finally coordinated his senses enough to stumble over to where Yamcha lay. He dropped down on his knees in the sanguine pool, pushing his index and middle fingers to Yamcha's throat, checking for a pulse. He felt relief sweep over him as he felt two feeble beats tap his fingertips; but then he was brutally reminded that he still wasn't out of the clear. He scrabbled up, darting into the annexed bathroom to search for anything that would help. He threw open the medicine cabinet with such force, he nearly tore the mirrored cabinet door clean off the hinges. He tore through the drawers, tossing aside boxes and bottles, until he came across a few rolls of gauze. He seized them up, bounding back out. He vaulted over the bed, slipping on the pool of slick blood. He crashed down on his side, the rolls of gauze bouncing away. He pushed himself up, and made a scramble for the gauze rolls. He grabbed them tight as he gingerly edged closer to Yamcha, dropping into a crouch as he reached out and grabbed Yamcha's wrists. He wrapped the first one tight, the gauze half way up to Yamcha's elbow. Then he moved over to the next arm, binding that one up as tight as the first. He looked down at him, sweat beading on his brow. Yamcha's wrists were bound and the bleeding had stopped, but Yamcha's breathing was still ragged and shallow for the most part. What else could Tien possibly do? He could call the hospital...no good. He wasn't very talented in the area of using a phone, nor did he know the hospital's number. He could take him directly...no, that wouldn't work either. He had no clue where the hospital was. He didn't have any more options except letting Yamcha rest and seeing how everything would turn out. It wasn't the safest idea, but it was the only logical choice. He lifted Yamcha up and tucked him into bed, wiping the layer of sweat off his face. Once he was convinced that Yamcha would be fine, he stood up and stretched out. He could occupy himself with cleaning the downstairs; it needed a lot of work. It would help take his mind off the current matter as well. He nodded in agreement with himself and shakily started off downstairs.

He spent most of the day bagging up trash and vacuuming filth off the floor. After he had got the living room into a halfway decent condition, he set down the dust buster and headed back upstairs to check on Yamcha. He stalked up the stairs and pushed the door open, a sliver of light falling across Yamcha's face. He was awake now. He was sitting propped up against his pillows, staring through narrowed eyes directly at Tien. He said nothing, but he didn't need to. It was pretty much apparent he was very unhappy. Tien stood there for the longest time, not moving. Yamcha's eyes flashed with a rage-filled expression, and not once did his gaze leave Tien. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, Yamcha spoke. His voice was hoarse and low, and it sounded almost like it was being forced.

"So it was you. Leave..." he hissed. Tien stepped a bit closer, both to plead his case and tell Yamcha not to speak. Yamcha growled warningly. "I said leave. NOW. I want nothing to do with you. GO!!!" he yelled. He broke off, coughing and hacking wildly, blood spraying from his mouth all over his hands and the bed covers which, as we all know, is never a good sign. Tien was over in an instant, patting Yamcha on the back.

"Are...are you okay? Don't speak...just a nod will be fine."

"Just fine." he grumbled.

Tien stood up, turning around. "You want me to leave, so I suppose it would be best for you. I wouldn't want you to exert yourself."

"You think you c--" he started.

But he was cut off abruptly as his eyes flashed once more and he collapsed, his body going slack. His eyes shut slowly and he flopped back down to his pillow listlessly. Tien spun back around. Then he sighed in utter relief. Yamcha was just overtired and woozy from lack of blood. Tien smirked and leaned over and, maternal instinct kicking in, giving him a small kiss on the forehead. He spun on his heel and headed back downstairs. He, after all, had a lot of work to do.

*

Yamcha was plagued by nightmares the whole night through. It was nothing new, though. It had been an ongoing thing ever since he had fallen into the deep depression. But tonight...it was worse then he had ever experienced. When he finally woke up he was greeted by Tien's worried face above him. His hand was resting on Yamcha's shoulder. He smiled in relief once Yamcha looked up at him.

"Hey, I made you a bowl of soup." Tien said, holding out a bowl of soup.

"I'm not hungry." he grumbled, closing his eyes.

"I don't give a damn. You haven't eaten in awhile, I'm guessing. So this is mandatory. Eat."

Yamcha was sort of hungry...it was true he hadn't eaten in quite some time. Soft tendrils of steam drifted up from the warm broth, carrying a tantalizing scent.

"Fine. Just hang on a sec..." he said, forcing his arms up.

They lifted about two inches and then dropped limply at his sides. He growled and tried to again, but still failed. He wheezed angrily and growled as he struggled to next prop up his body, with pretty much the same results. Tien laughed and sat down on the edge of Yamcha's bed. He held the bowl up to the man's lips and tilted it slightly. Yamcha sipped weakly and growled unhappily, his face beet-red.

"What's wrong?" Tien asked, pulling the bowl away.

"Nothing. It's just I hate being treated like a fuckin' kid." he muttered.

"Heh. It's not your fault." Tien smirked.

"I still feel humiliated." he grunted.

Again Tien leaned the bowl to Yamcha's lips so he could swallow some more down. He drew it away and set the now-empty bowl down on the nightstand.

"Yamcha...why did you...slit your wrists like that. Is your life really that bad? It can't b--"

"No! You're being stupid! What do you know about me? About my pain and my sorrow....nothing. You know nothing. Why can't you just let me bleed to death in peace?????" he hollered, cutting Tien off mid-sentence. Tears were running down his cheeks and he was panting heavily and raggedly.

"... ... ...I know how you feel. Believe me. I feel your pain, I can sense it miles away. You feel down now, but it will get better." he revealed.

"Bullshit." he snorted icily.

"It will. I'll make sure." he intoned. He sighed and changed the subject, feeling a bit awkward. "Where's Pu'ar? She wouldn't have let the place get this...horrible." he asked.

"I dunno. I told her to 'get fucking lost'. She probably went to Roshi's place or something."

Tien sighed. "Maybe you should call her and tell her you're all right."

"I will. Right now though, I think I'll wait a little longer."

"Hmmm? Why?"

"I have my reasons."

Tien nodded and stood up, picking up the bowl and striding out of the room. "I understand."

Yamcha settled back down. Was it was true what Tien said? Could he really feel his anguish? Frankly, he didn't care who felt his pain. Not at all. He rolled over, feeling slightly content with his meal. But a bowl of soup didn't satisfy grief nor mend a broken heart. He tried to fight it, but just couldn't. He began sobbing into his pillow loudly. He battered his hands against the bed and howled into the pillows about the grand injustice he was fated to call his life. He cried loudly until his throat was too hoarse to make any sound. Then he resorted to crying silent tears as he fell asleep, still weeping. Tien stood in the doorway and looked in at Yamcha. He felt so bad for him. The grief Yamcha emitted was mind-bending. He sighed and stalked downstairs, sprawling across the couch. He was so sleepy it wasn't funny. It had taken him forever to get the house properly clean and he had only done the living room, the bathroom and a bit in Yamcha's room. He still had the kitchen. He slung his hand over his face and shifted his body to relax. A loose spring was jabbing him in the back and making it very uncomfortable for him. He tossed and turned but could find no reprieve. He grumbled and got off the couch, rubbing his back. There was still one bed left... He went up the stairs and pushed open the door to Yamcha's room. He stood aside the bed and looked down at the sleeping warrior. He shook him lightly and jostled him awake.

"Mmmmm...Whadda ya want?" he mumbled.

"Hey...shove over." Tien said, his voice hardly above a whisper.

"Go sleep on th' couch." he muttered.

"There's a spring poking me in the back. I can't sleep right."

"So? Just turn th' cushion over. It don't feel so bad that way. The only problem is you tend to get cracker crumbs on your back..." he murmured.

"Just shove the fuck over." he grunted tiredly. He didn't wait for an answer or a response, but rather picked Yamcha up and shoved him over to the other side of the double bed. He crawled in and curled up, feeling sleepy.

"Hey! Get out, homo! This is my bed. If you can't sleep on the couch, sleep on the damn floor!" he yelled, now feeling rather irate that he was being intruded on.

"Fuck. You. I'm sleeping here. Good night." Tien said curtly, curling up on the left side.

"No thank you." he grumbled. He yawned sighed softly, knowing he was in no position to argue. "Fine, you can sleep here. Just don't go all homosexual on me." he grumbled, rolling over. It wasn't as if he had any say on who was sleeping in his bed or not.

Tien lay awake for quite some time. He was worried about numerous things. First, he was worried about Yamcha, he figured everyone was. The second thing was he was worried about Chaozu and how the little guy was doing. He sighed heavily and looked over at Yamcha. Sound asleep. He laughed quietly, so as not to wake him. The poor man was exhausted and weak, but still had some fire left. He closed his eyes and was finally dozing off when Yamcha rolled over and latched onto him.

"Mmm...c'mon baby...you know you want my lovin' sweetie." he grinned in his sleep, slinging his leg over Tien's thigh.

"My, how...awkward." he said, prying free Yamcha's arms and legs. "Of all the people to be a cuddler..." he groaned.

He closed his eyes and managed to doze off, getting a half way decent sleep. But as luck would have it...stuff happened.

"Hey baby, you know how much I want you. I think about you all the time...gimme a smooch." Yamcha muttered, talking in his sleep, obviously having a 'wonderful' dream as opposed to his usual nightmares. He rolled over and gave Tien a big kiss on the tip of his nose. Tien's third eye opened slightly drifting down to Yamcha, who was attached to his face. His eye snapped wide open, along with his other two. He woke up with a horrible start, his eyes bulged like pie plates. He screamed aloud, his worse fears confirmed..

"WAAAAAAAAAH!!!!" he screamed, leaping away like a salmon.

"AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!" Yamcha screamed in response, waking up with his face two inches from Tien's. He jumped back and fell off the bed, landing on the wastebasket.

"What the hell was that????? I told you not to go all homosexual on me! Urrrrg! All this time I never really knew you swung that way..." Yamcha said looking up over the bed.

"I didn't! You were the one who fucking kissed me!" Tien screamed in defense.

Yamcha went silent as he dropped to the floor. "I think I'll just sleep here for tonight."

Tien stood up and walked to the other side of the bed, picking Yamcha up. He set the man in the bed and tucked him in. He returned to the other side and crawled in, snuggling down.

"Goodnight." he said.

"Yeah...goodnight." Yamcha muttered.

****

((End of chapter one. yeah, yeah I know...crappy ending to the chapter but hey, I have a lot of work to do. Damn you schoolwork! Damn you education! Don't worry, I should get the updates posted soon. Ja ne! ))